i've got two labs. they are always getting into something. one is more retarded than the other and i ended up pulling a pair of underwear out of his ass the other day when he couldn't shit it out. share instances of your dogs fuckery.
Printable View
i've got two labs. they are always getting into something. one is more retarded than the other and i ended up pulling a pair of underwear out of his ass the other day when he couldn't shit it out. share instances of your dogs fuckery.
oh man. you win.
Labs are amazing in that regard. And known for it.
Hi, my name is Zappa and I am a coprophage.
absolutely.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser3
he loves napkins too. always snatches them off of plates headed for the sink. a tricky little bastard.
Yellow Lab....
-Neighbors compost pile....full of god knows what....
Attachment 364713
Lab/bloodhound mix
Indoor garbage cans. Any food on a surface. Occasionally, wood next to the stove stacked for burning. Underwear (clean or dirty). Deer shit (his favorite. We call them “Tashi Treats”). TP. Kleenex. Dish sponge. Toothbrushes. Kid’s toys. Art supplies. Kids homework. Random pieces of paper. Most recently, he’s taking a liking to raw potatoes. Yesterday he ate a box of bandaids that was sitting on the counter, but I got the neosporin out of his mouth before he pierced the tube.
My dog ate a whole diaper one time. I was quite certain that was gonna kill him, but sure enough came out the other end over the next couple days. Whatever chemicals they put in there to absorb piss did wierd things to his poop though, it was all granular n jelly-like.
Had another dog who would go on walkabout in the country for a few days on end and sometimes come home with a deer's entire leg, like, hoof to shoulder, rotten as fuck n crawling with maggots. He lived to 18 or so.
Thanks guys, now I don't feel so bad about our old male doberman. There was an infamous night wherein the hall and family room walls got sprayed with chocolate sauce. Non-sleep ensued. It was triggered by noshing on a potted succulent.
Our new dog is a toilet paper/kleenex lover. She’s an equal opportunity eater, she’ll grab used tissues out of the bathroom garbage or eat toilet paper right off the roll. We’re not used to religiously shutting the bathroom doors so she’s well fed.
The other day:
Attachment 364710
Here he is this fall, snout covered in some gelatinous dead thing:
Attachment 364711
Grew up with a sweetheart of a black lab that became crazy for fireworks as she aged. We learned of this new obsession when she dragged a 300lb log through a big fire pit to get to the little bullshit kids sparkle fountain 40 ft away.
The worst bullshit she got into, however, was during the neighborhood Y2K celebration.
My dad bought a two-thousand-pack of black cats for the occasion which came in this huge roll. He unrolled it and worked in his own fuse cord so that 10 at a time would go off.
When the clock struck midnight he lit the thing, and like 5 seconds into it the dog broke free and charged into the middle of the fray. We caught glimpses of wild eyes and snapping jaws amidst the insane thrumming barrage. There was nothing to do but watch in horror, fully expecting a bloody pulp at the end... but it was over in 30 seconds and she was fine. The happiest she had ever been.
She came away with huge pupils, temporary deafness, holes burned in her fur and tongue, all whiskers and eyebrows burned completely off... and a shit eating grin.
Oh my. Memories from the stories here. Looking after a brushing crew that was mostly made up of recent immigrants from India. Part of the contract prework was discussions about how to poop in the woods cause of certain, er, cultural differences. It was a difficult concept to get across, but overall great crews to work with. But I had to stop bringing my dogs (two generations worth). I'd be walking the brushing area, and pup would come back out of the shrubs licking their chops and very pleased with themselves. No doggie kisses today, thank you very much.
Our current Lexa is not so much on the taste as smearing the most foul rotten flesh - preferably fish, but any carrion will do - or feces all over her mane and jowls. Again, a strange preference to deposits from hominids for said smearing and rolling in. She just doesn't understand why she needs to be dunked in the closest waterbody, or even worse, humiliated by getting hosed off and shampooed with baby soap. The hurt is real and she will sulk for hours after.
But we love them anyways!
worked in a shop where the office gal had five border collies, yeah five
weirdest story she had was about one of em got into her husband's tool grip and ate some razor blades, she told me that was the most expensive doggo surgery ever. removed three from her stomach and one from her intestine
Our cockapoo likes to eat the crotch out of my wife's underwear. Just the crotch. She loves to dive in the water to retrieve a flip flop--she puts labs to shame. Sometimes I see people trying to get their young labs to retrieve from the water and the dog is not having it. I like to bring Cleo down to show off and embarrass the lab.
Our late cocker, when she was about 6 months old unzipped my then high school son's sleepover buddies gym bag, brought a bag of marijuana downstairs and placed it in the middle of the living room floor and sat next to it looking at us. I'm sure I've posted that before.
She also would get our son's wallet and remove all the cards and money without any damage to any of it.
She loved Xmas--she could tell which present was hers and tear it open. Usually she didn't care much about the toy inside unless it was a chew, she mainly loved the opening part.
When she was a puppy a friend gave her a stuffed dolphin plush toy--very delicate--which she tossed around with her teeth for 15 years until she died. The dolphin is still as good as new. Isabel had a soft mouth--what you'd expect for a dog bred to retrieve small birds.
Our yellow is also partial to old tissues. He’s figured out how the foot pedal works on the bathroom trash can. Luckily he’s too noisy to be sneaky.
He ate a box and a half of Little Debbie treats our neighbor left for the kids. Box, plastic and all. Think it was a whole box of brownies and half a box of Devil Dogs.
We used to have a little terrier that would house crayons. Made for some colorful lawn art. Also had to keep an eye out for the used condom he ate.
Man. I def have 2nd dog syndrome. Had a GSD/wolf mix who never left my side and skied a shitload of classic lines died of a brain tumor at 4. Then in my infinite wisdom decided to get a husky. After going to court because of his awesome vocal abilities I should've known what I got into. Then multiple trips of "He'll prob be back in a few(6-8)hrs". Actually before that he ate a dozen flies and lodged one or two in his throat. Then I ran him over at a jobsite....so he proceeded to eat an entire puck of rat poison hours away from a vet...he also had/has an affinity for chasing grizzly bears.
Oh did I mention he's been almost blind from birth.
He's also 13 yrs old and begging for pizza right now.
I like dags.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using TGR Forums mobile app
Attachment 364746
“Y’all got any of that toilet paper?”
My dog has literally both eaten and rolled in bull shit.
^yeah. Friggin cow pies. At least once or twice a summer, I give a dog a bath in a freezing ass creek. He looks cute and innocent but he just got a trailside bath after he rolled in a nice, mushy cow pie.
Attachment 364747
I've also cleaned up cow pie vomit off the living room rug.
He also eats dog shit, sometimes as the other one is producing it. 2nd dog syndrome for sure.
Had a Lab/Springer mix we dubbed the "urban hunter" because he would roam and steal food off of people's back decks and porches during winter. Butch brought home a spiral ham, a lasagna, and a bag of burritos on separate occasions. With burrito day, he brought back 2 singles over a couple of hrs that my little brother microwaved for him, so few hours later he showed up with the whole bag and the remaining 10 of the 12 pack.
Thx for the reminder. At the trailhead after a family ski tour a few weeks ago, dog grabbed something in the parking area. I thought it was general trash. It took me a few minutes of coaxing with my hands in his mouth to get it out... a dirty diaper.... damnit!Quote:
Originally Posted by dannynoonan
lol I just can't get over that face, 10/10Quote:
Originally Posted by BobMc
Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk
We had Rocky for all of a week and he stuck his nose into a pile of cut grass and snorted a foxtail right up there. Sedation, 1 removed foxtail, back at it. 2 months later he did the same damn thing. Thank goodness for pet insurance.
He also likes cat poop. He doesn’t have anything on the neighbors dog though who knocked over our garbage can and tore into the bag of dirty diapers. Luckily he was smart enough to not eat the diaper, but he licked at least half a dozen poop diapers clean. I’m pretty comfortable around dirty diapers at this point but that about made me puke.
Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
My dad had a Bassett hound that ate:
A bandana
A bad of cough drops with the wrappers
A bag of Lindt chocolates with the wrappers
A peach cobbler and some of the pyrex glass that shattered when he pulled it off the counter
Lot's of other fucked up stuff.
He was fine.
Only bad thing our current dog does is piss on kid's toys when they're left outside.
This is a great thread....lmao at these stories....
I text my wife one wknd while I was away to see how things were going (youngest kid was in potty training).
Wife: “Well, Jameson just shit in the yard and Ollie came by and ate it. How are you?”
Dog also once ate a Costco size jar of powdered baby formula.
Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
Back to the yellow Lab. He ate a whole tub of Vaseline once. The mess on the other end was exactly what you’d expect.
Similar results when he ate a baking sheet of bacon grease, including most of the foil.
His latest obsession is the packing material that comes in the Imperfect Foods boxes. It’s some biodegradable packing peanuts between two sheets of paper. Ate an entire sheet and part of the box the first time. That one caused some issues for a few days.
My roomate years ago was living in Whistler and headed back to Crested Butte in the spring. Along the way, he stopped at a beach in Oregon, where his dog found a dead seal and rolled around in it for a while. Swear to got that dog still had the faint smell of dead seal when my roomate was headed back to Whistler the following ski season.
bringing some beers and a bottle of wine into a friends house yesterday when his whippet and my golden rounded the corner of the house going mach 10. swept my feet right out from underneath me. no alcohol was lost in the carnage.
I once asked a friend that’s a veterinarian about strange things she’s removed from a lab’s stomach. She said 12 Barbie doll heads. The most disturbing part of it was that the family didn’t notice their kids dolls were missing their heads.
I have both a yellow and black lab. Luckily they don’t counter surf. The yellow one likes paper towels and tissues. The black one, once she turned two, started to leave stuff alone. She did eat part of my car seat while a puppy. Thankfully it was a little section that could be matched and repaired easily. Guy who did the repair told me a lady had been by his shop earlier that week whose new dog completely destroyed the back and front passenger seat down to the metal in her new car.
I bought my house 4 years ago. The previous owner had a giant mastiff who apparently had a panty fetish. The yard is fenced in, and they didn't clean up the dog shit before they moved out. After the initial cleanup, I found about a dozen panties in the dog turds and thought it was excessive. Then I did a spring cleaning and raked out all the leaves, mulch etc and found about a dozen more. As recently as last fall, while doing some minor landscaping, I unearthed more panties. Which has me wondering... did the wife not notice she was losing panties at an excessive rate? Did she just not care? You'd think eventually if you couldn't curb the behavior, you'd at least stop leaving them around for the panty gobbler to hoover them up and deposit in the yard...
We used to have 2 Irish setters. We drove down to my MIL's little place in Mexico--Puerto Penasco--and both dogs immediately rolled in a dead, decaying dolphin. We washed them as best we could and made them stay outside but the 4 hour drive back to Tucson 2 days later was not pleasant.
My dog was a malamute/wolf mix. He loved all dogs but any wild animal he would either kill or try to kill. Squirrels, mice, rabbits, porcupines, skunks, and deer. Many stories for sure.
One of my favorites was when I was in undergrad at Michigan State. Every day after class I would let the dog off leash on campus at the bell tower, nice big green space with large trees. On this particular day we had about a cm of snow on the ground, just enough to make the ground all white. I let the dog off leash to run around, about 5 minutes in I spot a squirrel about 50ft away from the nearest tree and make a dive for my dog as I know he can catch it. Sure enough he saw it too and is just out of my reach. He catches the squirrel, precedes to shake it hard, blood squirts all over his white snout and all over the snow. I am yelling at him to drop it as his is doing a victory trot/keep away game with me. I finally slide tackle the dog. He drops the squirrel and I'm using snow to get the blood off his face. At this point I have 3 or 4 fellow students watching in different states of shock/horror. Out of the corner of my eye I see the squirrel trying to move but his entire rear end no longer works. It's obvious he is dying. So I wrap up the blood cleaning on the dog and plan on finishing off the squirrel so he doesn't have to suffer when I get approached by a student that starts the conversation with "I saw what your dog did." Followed by what are you going to do about it. I tell him I'm sorry and explain I will put the squirrel out of his misery. With that he blocks my path to the squirrel and insists I take it to the vet. I just sort of stare at him with a WTF look. With that he takes off his down coat, wraps the bloody squirrel in it and starts walking in nothing but a t-shirt to the vet clinic about a 25 minute walk. It was probably 20 degrees outside. I just stood there for a moment watching him walk away then turned and went the exact opposite direction. Didn't walk the dog on campus for a good month after that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stealurface831
SyF’s post would be even better if that redheads panties were involved.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crock
Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums
My old coyote dog used to get elk legs from my buddy, and she would just be in another world gnawing for hours. She loved that shit so much she wouldn’t let me take them away.
So now, with the little floofy fox-sized dog, we have a tradition that lil buddy gets a frozen bunny to gnaw every winter.
Here he is, just bein’ a tiny wolf
We used to have dozens and dozens of bunns around, and usually in the winter he would find leftovers from a bird kill, so since it was winter and fresh-frozen I’d let him carry it home and enjoy a winter of gnawing.
Last year’s gnawbunn was just a bunhead. He managed to crunch it up...he had bun teeth in his turds. Lol.
Now, red foxes have eradicated our bunns, so this year I got a frozen bunbody from a dogwalking friend’s yard. He only got a few days of gnawing before a fox came and got it overnight.
Our 8 month old Shepherd mix seems to have a thing for power cords. He's gone through a chromebook charger, my headphone cable, an extension cord and a power cable for the treadmill.
the redhead is now a utard. moved to PC just the other day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry
When we were in nyc, our lab/foxhound mix would find human poo in the park & snarf it up. It was by the far the worst smell she ever managed to retain on her body & she loved rolling in a variety of smelly things.