Please use this thread to recount those instances where you inadvertently fouled yourself.
Thank you.
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Please use this thread to recount those instances where you inadvertently fouled yourself.
Thank you.
Holy crap.
pun intended.
Three words:
Gamble and lose.
Only such instances where the excrement was deposited in one's trousers inadvertently? I have a delightful anectote involving the sullying of my own drawers, a croquet match, and the vice-premier of Honduras- but said fecal matter was expelled quite intentionally (and forcefully, might I add).
I did that one time while playing poker. Went into the bathroom, performed some 'damage control,' and was freeballing for the rest of the game. Managed to close out the night up $65 on a $5 buy in http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/i...ilies/cool.gif
Worthless threads…so hot right now. ;)
Shitting your pants is a right of passage.
I had a buddy GNL on the 6th green at Pole Creek with deposit right out the bottom of the shorts.Quote:
Originally Posted by lemon boy
I shat 'em on the Hoover dam.
Agua Callientas, Peru. 1996.
If you get the "meat-on-a-stick" sold by the locals, forgo the "green sauce".
The hike to Machu Piccu was rather interesting. :eek:
I shit on all your pants.
http://www.arts.ualberta.ca/~aoki/Te...ephantbury.jpg
While I haven't soiled myself yet today, it was close at the doctors office. That makes 3 # 2's today, and it's only 11:30am.
A buddy of mine used to get people to pull his finger for the inevitable fart. I remember a small concert we were at, and he did his finger pulling routine to some random stranger, and spent the remainder of the evening cleaing out his drawersin the bar bathroom.
Gotta be careful with the finger pulling.
I need a Patent Attorney...STAT!!!
I've concluded, through much R&D, that if 4mg. of Loperamide Hydrochloride were to be added to every 72oz of beer that there would be a cure for the beer shits.
shitting ones pants is one thing, the infamous 'tripple play' is a true rite of passage.
how many mags have spewed excrement from all holes at once. usually occurs when passed out.
Oh man, I totally pooped in my drawers once.
I was in the historic Buckhorn Bar in Laramie. Had quite a few to drink. My buddy farted, so I thought I could one up him with a grand-daddy A-bomb, so I wind up and load one in the torpeedo bay.....3.....2.......1.......
KABLOOEE!
I blow all sorts of shit in my shorts. I turn to my friend and say "I gotta run to my house real quick". He says "why?". I say, "I just shit my pants."
Or sitting on the toilet, bathtub on your right, waste basket is not going to be big enough, oh boy, here is all comes. Puked out the nose too, ouch.Quote:
Originally Posted by timmay
One time, at WVU, it was my sophomore year, not band camp.
Cleaning out the tub really sucked.
Oh, and the Gamble and Lose (GNL) certainly has happened, but one learns quick. Cmon, like it never happened to you?
Ha! I have UC . I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the incidences last year. :(
Almost killed a few running to the bathroom here at work, and I almost kicked the shit out of poeple taking up stalls to pee. :fuckyou:
One word: Olestra.
Besides mtbakerskier, you mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by timmay
Man,that's a tough one...
In an effort to break the pressure of a 3ft putt, I decided to let one roar.
Misfire.
Had to play 2 more holes with highly soiled shorts before I could get to a bathroom. :nonono2:
but I did make the putt.
A fart gone awry.
http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31019
I watch my Mom shit her self in a grocery store check out line, that was pretty funny.
When I was ten, me and the girl next door were at Seaworld in the gondola. We were having a fart contest and I so lost. I was wearing white pants and everything. I told my neighbors parents who had brought us that I sat in chocolate bar. But Billy, "Why do you smell like shit?"
NEVER trust a fart!!!
Had a soccer teammate in college shit his drawers in the van on the way to a game in Albany, NY. His underwear are prolly still in the grass on the NYS Thruway near exit 25 or on the antenna of some car, after he threw them out the window.
never shit my pants, but in high school a friend of mine took a shit in one of his teamates football helmets. That dude said he washed his hair about 1000 times that night!
Fart + shit = SHART?
I voided once ... sharted big
Too much bourbon++ at a Motorhead show + 0 oxygen + mosh pit = CRAPPED me pantalones ...
Had to leave the show early ... got to see em again in my later years.
Not proud of it. :yourock:
Had some stomach thing last month sharted. Best of my friend stories is ski related, touring one day in the alpine one guy shits himself and isn't done finds the lone two foot high tree to squat behind and empties himself. Used the soiled polypro to clean up then back to the tour.
I just did reading this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bad_roo
I'm so proud...sigh...
One of the many highly entertaining (in a juvenile shit-disturbing way) Roo stories.Quote:
Originally Posted by bad_roo
Sick and ashamed and happy (and the Roos WILL come tele at the indoor tele festival next weekend),
d.
Anyone ever shit/sharted clear goo?
I sharted on the way back from SLC once and a little came out. It was like diahrea but it was clear like water.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Didn't shit my pants but went water-sking with girlfriend and her family ) first date)and got fresh water enema while skiing. Dropped of the line and while boat was circling to pick me up, emptied turds from pants. Turds floated. Tied to push turds away but to no avail. Girlfriend and family come back, me floating in water with giant floating turds around me. Denied they where mine but they didn't believe me. :D she married me anyway.
nice entrance dood.Quote:
Originally Posted by bubblebutt
Buddy was on his way to go surfing out in Cali. Too much coffee and no breakfast, combined with many beers the night before, resulted in a small shart in the truck, then a hollar to pull over, as he runs into a park on the side of a busy road, drops his shorts and proceeds to projectile shit next to a tree. There was a homeless woman 15 feet away who was absolutely shocked, she had a look of terror on her face.
What a great "how we met" story. The temporary humiliation was worth it for a tale that will live on forever as your in-laws' favorite social ice-breaker.Quote:
Originally Posted by bubblebutt
Around here gamble and lose is called losing a 50/50
Cum? :tdo13: BWAAAHAAAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by 72Twenty
When I was 18,4 of my friends + myself went to Mexico. One guy insisted that we go deep-sea fishing 'so he sets it up.We went early in the morning and I was super hung -over.It was an extremely low budget crappy boat and all we had to drink was warm Corona's.Within half an hour I was feeling really queasy and started puking over the side of that godforsakin' boat.I was illin' bad.After about 1.5 hours the only fish was a 3lb red snapper that the guide caught.What a joke! We returned to the dock and i was still vomiting over the side only now I had to shit real bad too.{it felt like diarreha}.Upon arrival I ran to the boathouse.Inside there was a group of old mexican dudes playing cards."Is there a washroom I could pleeeese use ?!?.." I said with a serious look of desperation+pain on my face.They paid no attention to me so I ran/waddled past the card game through the door to where I guessed the toilet was.There was a small stall w/ no door ,no water in the toilet,and it was fuckin'filthy.Upon crossing the threshhold into the stall I was hit with a stench that would curl your toes.That was it. I started puking uncontrollably.At the same time I lost all control of my bowel and started shitting like crazy.I hadn't even turned around,pulled my pants down,or sat down.I was vomiting, pooing everywhere,pissing and crying all at the same time.
Once the eruption stopped,I was in a state of shock.I was wearing white karate pants that were now completely soiled brown.I had no choice but to remove these slimey pants and tried to wipe myself with the small bits of my pants that weren't already covered w/ shit cause there was no toilet paper.I was feeling totally ill + helpless.I turned around and my buddy Tim was standing there , eyes opened wide w/his mouth hanging open w/ a look of horror and astonishment,all he could say 'HOLY SHIT,WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!! I said,' I need help',...I was standing naked from the waist down, the floor,walls,and myself covered in POO ...Tim asked 'What should I do?' -I told him to find me something to wear.He looked but there was nothing .Icould see a dirty old Mexican blanket inthe corner+I told Tim to ask the old dudes if he could buy it from them.He asked but they paid no attention to him.I then told him to just grab it.He threw me the blanket which I wrapped around my waist and we made a run for it.Man,did I ever stink+there was still diarreaha all over my legs.Then we had a 20 min. stinking cab ride back to the hotel. Good times
:eek: ....Quote:
Originally Posted by FLEX
Shit vs. Shat. Discuss.
Someone with some time find the story about Owens (I think?) shitting himself I a resturant in New York. Something like that. Who knows what I'm talking about?