Ambushed at work (nsr rant)

What a bunch of fuckers. "Crinkle can you come in for a meeting on thursday?" "Well, I am busy, but sure i can find time"

I walk in the door to the "big 3" Boss, mini boss and operations manager. This is funky, something is definitely wrong. Sit down and they unleash on me. (side note: that it was not thier fault they were provided with misinterepretted information) Two of the three lecturing me at the same time about "policy, bullshit, more big words involving company information"

this is my part fucking time job. I am so overfucking qualified for this thing its god damn recockulous. I have been helping them out in a way that they needed; helping out undertrained night staff. Fucking pricks (that they don't have) At least they sacked up and called me out on some shit that they heard i was slinging. After a long heated conversation, dancing on the "fuck you wankers" line and rolling out. I stayed cool and found out the truth:

Turns out they have a bunch of chatty bitches up that joint during the day. I rarely come in then. I come in crack a joke or two, talk some shop, pick up my check and roll out. But these two specific chatty ninnys heard something that i said and repeated it to each other till it sounded something like me crapping on how they do thier jobs. Then they turned around and complained to the big boss till she dragged me in today to have a talk about my "attitude in the workplace' The bosses understand the full extent of the conversations and I have been exhonerated from any wrong doing. Now that they know the conversation that took place, as I recited it word for word, i hope it falls back on them for stirring up shit.

I swear if i run into either one of these house marmy fucking skanks on the street, I'll punt them right in the fucking head, then drag their screaming carcases to the nearest door and repeatedly slam it on their heads until they are the mental equivilent of a jellyfish. Right here you two cows, i hope you subliminally read my mind go home and cry yourself to sleep as your fat unappreciating husbands give you a stink finger and tell you to shut your vile whinny ass up...... and I am just starting to get mean.

You crossed the wrong motherfucker, i know i have opinions and i am not afraid to voice them. I'll be sure to see you both in hell, I'll have a good seat by the fire and spit right in your eye as you walk through the door. You have hit bottom in my book and now have been labeled "Cunts" congrats. [/end rant]


if you've been screwed at work share your story here, its a good thread for it. Looking for colorful adjectives? I got a bag full, send me a PM.....I'm out.

well that sucks

Hope it gets sorted out Crinkle. I think I would likely find it hard to stay on the 'convservative' side of the "FUCK YOU WANKERS" line - nice bit o' self restraint, and I hope those two get what's coming, either from superiors or karma...

edg

I was lobbying to get a new digital camera at work - the Sony pos we have right now still records it to a goddamned floppy disk. Not only does the camera suck, but finding a floppy drive is becoming a chore as well. So I put in a req to purchase one of the new Sony's that writes to a CD for 400 bucks or something like that, stating that it is difficult to view photos without a floppy drive. Management denies it, stating that I can purchase an external USB floppy drive if needed (~75 bucks).

Fucking brilliant. How about we have 10 people buy floppy drives at 75 bones a crack instead of spending 400 on a camera? Oh yeah, because the camera comes out of our budget, and the floppy drives come from IT's budget.

As they say in Office Space... "Thumbs up their asses...."

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Originally Posted by Crinkle

dancing on the "fuck you wankers" line and rolling out.

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gotta say for a p.t. gig like that, I definitely would've busted that out and left with a big, phat BWA :D followed by a "don't you know who I am?? I'm a pro AK skier now bizaaaatches - don't need you cheesy lip flappers anymore" :biggrin:

I'm right there with you...or I was until I separated myself from it.

I'm based in Utah, but my office was, for a long time anyway, a satelite office for our California office. Anyway, they've got this bitch of a secretary that work there. She actually called me on a Saturday one time to chew me out about something I said to her on a Thursday...it took her a few days to work up the steam evidently. Anyway, since she was in Cali with my boss, countless crocks of shit were stirred up with him, without me there to explain myself, or even know about it for the most part (I thank one of the other employees out there that I'm friends with for letting me know about most of it). Anyway, nothing like doubt planted in your boss's mind to help your career out. Finally, about 8 month ago I managed to get my office designated as it's own region (making me regional manager in the process...funny how that works). Now, my boss is in our corporate office in Texas...where the bitch's reach doesn't have the same pull. Unfortunately, I think my new boss has heard enough of the shit from the past to influence his opinion of me...but he hasn't said anything yet, so I'll let it be his problem (I've got my annual review in 3 weeks, guess I'll hear about it then if there is anything to hear).

Anyway, you're not alone man, everyone deals with that same shit at work...some more than others. When you're slamming that door, just make sure you give 'em one for me. Absolutely nothing worse that gossip fucking up a workplace.

Lame they called you in on your day off. I'd put the hours it took to drive down, listen to that shit, and drive home on my next timesheet. Freaking weak.

i clocked in and out while i was there :fmicon:

I was disillusioned that this was a workplace that wasn't like that. Evidentally, they have shallow weak egos. Since my REAL job is the same as theirs, they were jealous of my effeciency and pay versus what they waste thier time struggling to get paid for. I make twice as much, not to mention that i make more per hour than they do, so i'll continue to laugh about this till the end.

It's even worse when said bitch is giving your boss blowjobs on the side in addition to nasty gossip.

True story -- it happened to my ma. I'm still working on revenge with the woman who almost cost ma her job.

A few years ago I was working at an FBO, pumping gas and whatnot at the airport. I came in early one day, and ended up working a 14 hour shift instead of 8. When I finally got off as scheduled at 11pm, I still had lots of stuff to do that would make me and the FBO some fat cash, including washing a few airlplanes and shit. I knew that in order to get this stuff done by morning, I would have to skip out on some minimal indoor chores like vacuuming a couple rooms, etc. So I finally get to bed at about 4:30, and I'm still on call in case anyone else comes in and needs something. Sure enough, the morning crew doesn't show up in time, so I have to go fuel up the early morning airlines after an hour of sleep, and still have to work at 1pm again.

So when the morning crew shows up, they thank me for covering their asses. It was a weekend, so the boss normally doesn't come in. The morning crew calls the boss at home with the list of shit that didn't get done the night before. I was sleeping in the employee bedroom, because I had to commute 45 minutes to work.

So the boss comes in, opens up the door to the bedroom I'm in, wakes me up, and proceeds to bitch me out. I asked if I could at least get dressed and punch in before taking her shit, and she said no. I said "Fuck you!", and walked out.

Fucking morning shift.

That's the end of my rant.

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Originally Posted by Crinkle

i clocked in and out while i was there :fmicon:

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Good for you, and what about mileage too, gas aint cheap.


(oh, and we only get 31 cents for some stupid reason, supposed to be 36.5 cents, is that right?)




On the bright side, Jesus loves you.

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Originally Posted by 13

It's even worse when said bitch is giving your boss blowjobs on the side in addition to nasty gossip.

True story -- it happened to my ma. I'm still working on revenge with the woman who almost cost ma her job.

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Slooooooow pitch...

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Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

On the bright side, Jesus loves you.

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that is why i am going to hell first :rolleyes:

Coworker comes to my cube and says "I'm pregnant."
I qucikly say back "When did you get a uterus?"

A week later I almost lose my job because a woman on the other side of my cube felt sexually harased for by me saying the the word "uterus"?
I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she was 52 never married and had no children.
She was eventually fired the first chance the company got an excuse to do so. Turns out she was in the HR office every other week reporting sexual harasment from someone or complaining about people talking to loud while she was trying to work, etc.

I had some punk bitch (dude) who somehow wrangled his way into being assigned as my boss show up at my office one day when I was in the utility business. He had started with the company right about the time of the annual corporate get-together and spent the whole time there with his head up the CEO's ass, so I figured then anbd there he was a backstabbing, throatslitting corporate zero. So I was cordial, talked some small talk, and could see right away he was a douchebag. He started telling me what I would be doing and I just sat there and quit talking to him. He was a bodybuilder type and then thought he would intimidate me. I just stared at him, I mean total stare-down, until he left. He called the VP and said I had called him an asshole, which I hadn't. I told the VP the guy was a liar and if he was going to be my boss they could cut the severance check that day. He was relieved of being my boss, since I was the highest producer in the company and they knew I could get the same job anywhere in the industry for more. Although I kept my cool, I seldom, if ever, tolerate assholes like that guy.

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Originally Posted by Crinkle

that is why i am going to hell first :rolleyes:

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wanna race?

I worked a training shift at a restaurant here in Seattle a while ago. Their policy is that water glasses/cokes are full to the brim at all times, with ice and water. One couple I was serving specifically requested that I take their glasses back and bring it to them with no ice, because they don't like ice. I complied. They then drank their water slowly, declining refills every time I offered. My boss calls me over and starts bitching me out about the lack of ice and the fact that their glasses weren't completely full. I politely waited until she was done, and then told her that the customers had requested no ice and declined refills. She glared at me and said, "Do I look like I give a shit? Go fill their glasses NOW." I went over, apologized, and asked if I could fill their glasses so I wouldn't lose my job. They were shocked, let me do it, and then called my boss over and bitched her out for forcing me to interrupt their meal. Needless to say, I haven't got a call back to work another day, regardless of the fact that my boss directly above me told me that I did a great job.

I guess she's never heard the old maxim about the customer always being right.

Crinkle,

I'm probably not the first person to ask this, but

You're a whiny little bitch, huh?

And I really like your writing style. One of those "uneducated white boys trying SOOOOOO hard to be an uneducated black man", right?

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Originally Posted by The_Heckler

Crinkle,

I'm probably not the first person to ask this, but

You're a whiny little bitch, huh?

And I really like your writing style. One of those "uneducated white boys trying SOOOOOO hard to be an uneducated black man", right?

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Haha.

Your name is lunch, get used to it.

What a moron.

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Originally Posted by The_Heckler

I'm probably not the first person to ask this, but

Did you know I'm a total douchebag?

And I'm really racist. I like to believe that I can tell the difference between a white man and a black man simply by writing style.

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:nonono2: :nonono2: :nonono2: :nonono2:

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Originally Posted by The_Heckler

Crinkle,

I'm probably not the first person to ask this, but

You're a whiny little bitch, huh?

And I really like your writing style. One of those "uneducated white boys trying SOOOOOO hard to be an uneducated black man", right?

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This is the last fucking thing this forum needs more of. Lame alias. Try again.


...Fuck, it's summer.

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Originally Posted by SkiingBear

Anyway, nothing like doubt planted in your boss's mind to help your career out.

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Try working with an incompetent sleazebag who fail their job, causing you more work, date the boss and project their own ineptitude onto you all across the executive level. The slander the boss's size and sexuality in the most demeaning way. To boot they tell you how they fake their illnesses and then deny it and threaten "hostile workplace" lawsuits if anybody dares follow up on the family friend doctor. Plus they read you their email outloud in a tiny office and get offended when you politely ask them not to do so, detailing sordid part of her ex-husband's pedophilia.

Yuck.

She works for the main competitor now.

I'm still digging myself out.

My work colleagues rule.

I can't help but notice that quite a few of these threads deal with unpleasant women in the workplace.Come on guys,you need to get with the program & read the latest studies written by women about how much better women are as bosses.They are much better at concensus building & team building.They listen better & aren't so ego driven.They don't micro-manage as much.

I'd better not delve into my horror story on this,as I've got another one I must share.I met one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen the other night,my buddy was working her,so I was obliged to wing man for him.She was also one of the most pompous,bombastic,self- centered ,narcissistic,self- aggrandizing ,pretentious,bellicose,psychotic C*NTS I've ever met. Her F*cking brilliant philosophy still resonates in my ears.

" The uterus wins!The uterus always wins!" I can't help but think that this is a primary reason that C*ckknocker GW got re-elected.Anyone that can make me look like a conservative is AN A**HOLE!

My worst boss ever was a woman.Ironically,my best boss ever was a woman.She was one of the coolest people I've ever met & certainly unique soul.

My advice to you Crink is to make sure plenty of Midol is readily available at work.I'm thinking things are going to head south for you soon!

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Originally Posted by freshie247

I can't help but notice that quite a few of these threads deal with unpleasant women in the workplace.Come on guys,you need to get with the program & read the latest studies written by women about how much better women are as bosses.They are much better at concensus building & team building.They listen better & aren't so ego driven.They don't micro-manage as much.

I'd better not delve into my horror story on this,as I've got another one I must share.I met one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen the other night,my buddy was working her & ended up walking her home.She was also one of the most pompous,bombastic,self- centered ,narcissistic,self- aggrandizing ,pretentious,bellicose,psychotic C*NTS I've ever met. Her F*cking brilliant philosophy still resonates in my ears.

" The uterus wins!The uterus always wins!" I can't help but think that this is a primary reason that A-hole GW got re-elected.Anyone that can make me look like a conservative is AN A**HOLE!

My worst boss ever was a woman.Ironically,my best boss ever was a woman.She was one of the coolest people I've ever met & certainly unique soul.

My advice to you Crink is to make sure plenty of Midol is readily available at work.I'm thinking things are going to head south for you soon!

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I've never met anyone who hates women more than you (but yet is always trolling for ladies). Just go gay already and save everybody the dissertation that follows each of your encounters with a female. ;) :D They own your head.

Hey J,
You are hilarious as usual! I love women,I just don't like some of them.I get along much better with Kiwi,Aussie,Canadian,& Euro women.Hey at least I'm not jaded!

You must admit that the tone I discuss is evident in this thread.They put the bush in AMBUSH!

Have you seen any men wearing shirts that say," I've got the C*ck & I make the rules,More me less you,or Guys kick ass." I sure haven't.

Just because your woman is super cool,doesn't make all women that way,you should empathize with those less fortunate!

Man I couldn't stop laughing while typing this!

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Originally Posted by freshie247

Hey at least I'm not jaded!

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HA!!

1234567890

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Originally Posted by freshie247

My worst boss ever was a woman.Ironically,my best boss ever was a woman.She was one of the coolest people I've ever met & certainly unique soul.

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When they're good, they're good. When they're bad, you had better watch the fuck out.

PS - Is your spacebar busted? Most periods are followed by a space or two. ;)

Poor typing technique is the culprit.

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Originally Posted by freshie247

Poor typing technique is the culprit.

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Couldn't take your call. At work.

The Testicles win,The TESTICLES ALWAYS WIN!!!!!

This situation is easily solved by working with no women.

And most of the ones around here aren't hired for their brains. Though the ones that are in positions of power are generally serious ballbusters.

Working for idiots, backstabbers and bi-polar cokeheads is always fun. I remember getting ambushed on a conference call for a problem I had already solved at one of my old jobs. After the third time I tried to explain that I had already solved the problem only to be yelled at and called stupid by the cokehead owner of the company I just walked out of the room. I got another job offer the next day and quit. I found it very interesting when I ran into the guy who had been cursing me out about a month after I quit. The jackass was trying to hire me back with a 25% pay increase. Sometimes there is justice in the world.

We need a lot more of it & soon!

The people I work with are all great... I've been getting several of them into climbing and skiing.

my rant today is for ass-hole clients....a large technology company that is popular with mags and others who like to bid on items via their site is about to screw me big time. we manage a very large software contract for them that has its anual payment due next month. a competitor is playing dirty pool and offering this company a kick-back should they move the contract from me to them. most of my clients would decline this offer from the competitior as they know it to be somewhat shady, AND my company does a good job, etc. but noooo, this client is all about the lowest price, regardless of if its shady or not. they had and balls to tell me yesterday that while we have done a fantastic job managing their account, they are seriously considering my competitors offer.........bastards. this is gonna ruin my month plus cause a shit storm back at the mothership (HQ)...oh joy....

hey, famous auction web site company, here's to you :cussing: :fuckyou:

I have so many horror stories I don't have the time to write them up.

Hence the phrase "cunting up," male or female