Best Foods Mayonnaise (NSR)

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Zero through F

<== Once fashionable ASCII term meaning “object at left.” Usually points to one’s own user name. Ex: “<== be killin’ it in the office today!”

2 Drops Denotes two drops of pee discharged from private area following the reading of an exceptionally humorous post. Typically used as a stand-alone complete sentence.

1000 Posting milestone that now goes largely unnoticed due to ever-increasing post counts. Traditionally the thousandth post contained tributes to oneself, fellow Maggots, or an expression of gratitude to one’s ignorant boss or IT guy.

4000 A monumental posting milestone, rumored to include club membership and a sequin limited edition 4000 posts muscle shirt.

987654321 The most commonly used technique to achieve TGR's mandatory minimal character limit in a post. Often scribed in reverse, or substituted with prime numbers.

Alias A registered ID from which one may issue scathing critiques or witticisms not consistent with one’s normal user name. An alias may also be used to bump your own thread back to page one with comments like, “Hey, cool photo! Man I wish I could ski like that!”

Angry Whelk A superhero gastropod that spews bukkake, shinjuku-style, upon evildoers, particularly those who cunt up threads. But not before giving them a good verbal spanking in broken Engrish.

Assatar Avatar prominently featuring well-toned female buttocks. Known to abruptly steer threads wildly off target.

Boner City A Xanadu-like paradise where dreams and expectations are wildly exceeded. Ex: “Hard to believe, but AKPM’s photos just took me to town hall, Boner City.”

Box Shorthand for private message inbox. "Popular" users are frequently chastised in public for not "cleaning" their boxes regularly.

Bump The act of posting in order to send a thread back to the top of page one. Also, the closest Maggots ever get to a discussion of mogul skiing.

Bus Driver, Mr. Imaginary individual who picks up/drops off newly single/suddenly shacking up Maggots.

CAW! Cry of the Sickbird, a registered user whose "CAW!" acknowledges posts or actions that rank high on the Sickter Scale.

Change for a Nickel? Phrase coined as an effective cry to rally and/or identify Maggots in a lift line, parking lot, mule barn, etc.

Charles Webster Baer (CWB) The originator of Global Internet Government and a spammer without peer. In a Terminator-like alternate future, CWB will be the 45th president of the United States.

Chinstrap Safety accessory to the LesboStrap9000.

Coloraggots Maggots who live in Colorado.

Crackhouse A Denver-area Maggot residence whose "remodel" is too extreme even for Extreme Home Makeovers.

Cunt Up To deliberately stain an intelligent thread with disparaging remarks. Ex: “Dude, stop cunt(ing) up this thread with news of your latest French Canadian softball fight.”

Daniel A (former?) Primedia employee largely held responsible for the Purging of thousands of threads at powdermag.com, leading to the great Migration.

Defiantly Alternate spelling for "definitely" (but defiantly not "definately"). See Gunderism.

Dentist In a strange coincidence, the occupation of all Maggots worldwide.

Devnoid Somewhat disparaging term applied to the greater Denver metro area.

Douchenozzle A derogatory term applied to those not worthy of being called a regular old douchebag.

DPPS Acronym meaning Drunk Post Preservation Service. Often elongated to suit more flagrant situations. Ex: WAOFHWPODPPS (Wandering Around Outside Frozen’s House Without Pants On Drunk Post Preservation Service)

Drunk Post A more rambling, incoherent than usual post by an overly intoxicated Maggot. Easily identified by slurred typing or the parenthetical "(Drrubnk Psost)" in the subject line.

Epic 1. Shorthand for epicski.com. 2. A ski term often used ironically. Ex: “That fartbag is like totally epic.”

Euro Mags Maggots based across the pond in places like La Grave and Hyde Park.

Fartbag A one-piece ski outfit. Do you have one? See Epic.

Farts, Burps, & Bacon Forum A somewhat secretive, oft-vanishing section of the TGR message board devoted to the objects (and their related events and items) in its title. Faithfully moderated by Snowsprite.

Finger Moustache The placement of the index finger above the upper lip while hooting and/or stomping one's feet like an excited rooster. Now a TGR emoticon: http://www.tetongravity.com/usergall.../11712/fm1.gif

FKNA A blunt exclamation of surprise, delight, or sudden realization. Say it out loud. You’ll get it.

Friday Random Thread A weekly exercise in topical chaos, devoted to everything in particular and nothing in general, often expressed as Haiku.

G through P

Geronimo 1. A long-time shared alias whose purported mission is to expose the more "moronic" elements of Maggotdom. 2. A very bitter injun.

Git Sum Positive admonishment to seek and devour whatever it is you're looking for, most likely fresh snow.

Gunderism Nickname given to comical misspelling events with malaprop-ish meanings. See Definatly.

Haiku Poetic verse expressed in strict 5—7—5 syllabic lines. Once and for all, get it right. :nonono2:

Hudge Accidental alternate spelling for "huge," when "huge" just won't do.

Husky Latin Women Phrase known to appear automatically in TGR posts following the pasting of particular HTML punctuation codes. Origin and cause shrouded in humor and secrecy.

Iceman A character in the (some claim) homoerotic movie Top Gun.

"I'm going skiing" End-game and ostensibly moral-high-ground declaration by a flustered online debator who can't take the rebuttal anymore. Non-skiing equivalent: "I'm out."

I’m Gonna Rip the Shit Out of This A self-fulfilling Punani-istic prophesy, usually uttered at the top of a sketchy ski run.

Interweb Something we all use once in a while when we forget to search or can't properly display pictures or forget to Log Out.

Invisible Mode See Iceman. Or rather, don’t see Iceman.

JONG N. 1. Acronym meaning Jerk Off Newbie Gaper, whose origin and application predates the Migration. 2. A term used to initiate new posters. V. To JONG. 1. To publicly label a new poster a Jerk Off Newbie Gaper. 2. To screw up on something terribly basic. 3. To use the Interweb when you should have used the Internet.

JOTM Acronym meaning JONG of the Month.

Journey An '80s band that recently toured through Ketchum, ID and helped spawn the :yourock: icon.

Kick Mom in the Head Sweet When you have no other words to describe how indelibly sweet something is.

Kush N. A registered user named Kush. V. To kush, meaning to land head first in a snow bank surrounded by bystanders with cameras.

LesboStrap 9000 Considered a Maggot ten essentials item for meeting in person, most frequently referenced prior to the Migration. Typically used with sheep costume. Can be upgraded to LS10K.

Log out An action registered users often forget to do, especially when traveling or visiting other Maggots, resulting in strange monologues about lip stick and staring at male roommates from behind drapes.

Maginion A hybrid of Maggot-Minion used primarily during the cloudy haze following the Migration. Ex: “Are we Maggots or Minions? Or Maginions? I need a smoke.”

Maggette A female maggot. Sadly outnumbered 10 to 1.

Marker Maligned (by most Maggots) maker of ski bindings. Even the Pope apparently knew better.

Migration, The Mass exodus of registered users from the powdermag.com message board to the TGR message board in the fall of 2003. Precipitated by the repeated Purging of old threads considered to be sacred history by veteran Maggots.

Minion User title automatically assigned to new posters at the TGR forum following the Migration. Became a community term.

Mini Summit An regional gathering of Maggots for skiing and group festivities like male pole dancing.

MIR Not the Russian spacecraft, but the former ID of perhaps the most prolific poster in Maggot history. Name was retired years ago.

Moderation Meaning unknown.

Mr. Poundkey Long-time registered user and shared alias known for excessive use of "###" in posts. Curiously similar to Geronimo.

[Please post] Naked Pics of Your Sister A bargaining chip offered to JONGs in exchange for rapid community acceptance. Success rate fairly pathetic.

Ninja Controversial martial arts figure known for stealthy actions and poor speaking abilities. Apparently can withdraw testicles into scrotum. Antonym: Pirate

NSFW Acronym meaning Not Safe for Work. A mandatory yet oft-forgotten warning that the contents of a thread may get you fired for one reason or another.

NSR Acronym meaning Not Ski Related. Or, more than half the posts in the Ski/Snowboard forum on any given day.

Pirate Swashbuckling maritime figure known for fanciful dress and rogueish diction. Antonym: Ninja

Plakespear User name of Nils Nissen, a long-time inspirational maggot and too-young victim of cancer (September 2007). Also the recipient of one of the first-known maggot charitable events, a day of heli-skiing in the Wasatch.

PMGear A start-up founded by several members of the Maggot community to produce ski gear such as the powder-blue BRO Model.

Point, The Extending an elongated object, usually one's arm or ski pole, in a gaperish fashion to denote the existence or relevance of another object typically some distance away. Everyone's doing it.

Post First, Then Smoke Crack A charge given to posters who are prone to inane drivel.

POTD Acronym meaning Post of the Day. Often rhetorical and usually followed by a question mark.

PR Acronym meaning Person Report. Only one known occurrence thus far, aptly applied.

Primevil Nickname for Primedia, the many-testacled, er, tentacled, parent company of Powder magazine and powdermag.com.

Purge, The (Purging) The deletion of threads from the powdermag.com forum. A massive purge in Fall 2003 resulted in the great Migration of Maggots to TGR and sent Owens scrambling to Office Max for more memory.

R through Z

Resize To reduce the dimensions of a photo. This will be asked of you if your picture causes the appearance of a horizontal scroll bar. See JONG.

Retirement To stop posting on the message board indefinitely, often due to some kind of emotional outrage. Typically a retirement is declared openly and lasts no more than a week. Does not apply to Aliases.

Schwank/Schweet Intentionally mispronounced variations of Swank/Sweet with secret-ski-society implications based solely on Jimmy Stewart inflection.

Sickter Scale A non-scientific measurement of how “sick” an action, photo, or event is. The Sickter Scale is frequently exceeded. Ex: “Dude, that cliff huck was off the Sickter Scale!”

Skullfucking A threatening (and alarmingly pioneering) means of retaliation to one's Internet adversary, typically done one socket at a time (e.g. "Left eyehole first, reeeeeaaalll slowlike, then the right, all hard and fast"). See iceman.

Slow Pitch A na&#239;ve phrase or thought uttered with little understanding of its hidden, juvenile meanings.

Solisunday Sundays at Solitude Mountain Resort.

Some Gotten A post-event variation of “Git Sum,” usually in reference to skiing fresh powder.

Spancered An alternate and caustic spelling of the word “sponsored,” typically applied to people who boast about being sponsored, or to those whom you wish to make fun of for being sponsored.

Stacy Short for Stacy Hatch, real-life mogul skiing expert and tanned, goggled Extremo Mountain Dude. See Epic.

Steez/Steeze Rap term meaning "style," taken from Gang Starr lyric. Gruesome transmogrifications by Maggots include "armpit steeze."

Stoke An extremely overused term that means extreme excitement to the extreme.

Suckjackal A venal, self-serving jerk.

Summit The annual global meeting of Maggots for skiing and general debauchery. Location changes each year, and the appointed Summit organizer is required to get injured somehow.

Tech Talk, Biaaatch! More or less means you started your thread about Pocket Rockets in the wrong forum.

Totally Fucking Sickbird A proclamation meaning “as good as it gets,” usually in reference to ski conditions. Overused and officially unavailable for further use.

TR Acronym meaning Trip Report, or one or more posts detailing the exploits of an extraordinary ski excursion, particularly one that takes place in the backcountry.

Unsmart Things Done Title of a multipage thread in the powdermag.com archives in which Maggots freely express their most embarrassing or least intelligent moments or actions. Spawned numerous sequels; phrase lives on in the frequently uttered sentence, “File under Unsmart Things Done.”

Utards Slang term meritoriously applied to Utah residents.

'Weed Short for Kirkwee--er, Kirkwood.

Welcome Wagon Popular thread created by Grandpa Cletus on powdermag.com intended to instruct new visitors in the ways of Maggot culture, behavior, and expectations. Bumped thousands of times as a way of padding post counts.

WTF Common Internet acronym meaning "What the fuck." Used by Maggots more commonly than most.

WWMD Acronym meaning What Would Maggots Do, which usually appears in titles of threads devoted to seeking advice on subjects ranging from dating to ethical dilemmas to gear purchases to attending mysterious bisexual parties.

WTFWMD A variation of WWMD, saved for the direst of circumstances.

WWJD Acronym meaning What Would Jesus Drop.

Zappa A rock legend whose lyrics and musings pepper the Maggot database.

Zebra Striped hoofed animal and the object of a strange Maggot fetish.

Nothing like oil, egg, lemon juice and vinegar to fatten up the day.

you aren't a miracle, you are just Lard in a jar- Homer

Mayonnaise - originally brought to France by Duke Richelieu, who tasted it while visiting Mahon, a city on the islond of Minorca.
dubbed Mahonaisse by the French chefs and consdered a delicacy.
Reserved only for the best most elegant meals, until 1912 when Richard Hellman began selling it in jars in his NYC deli.

[oh, the irony of reading that just last night in Uncle Johns Bathroom reader]
[Bagels, BTW, are attributed to 1683 Vienna Austria, created by a Jewish baker to honor the King of Poland for protecting the Austrians from the Turks.]

Tits

5678910

You might want to check with The Rev. on the origin of the: :yourock:

I think that came from a Tesla show in Boise not the Journey show in Ketchum as stated above.

love the title, although i almost clicked on it to see wtf it was...hoepfully it doesn't sound too interesting.

Chinstrap - Accoutrement for the uninitiated.
Douche Nozzle - A Rev minted handle for the clueless
Consensless - What we build around here.

and I can't belive this has been omitted:
dickwave - A vacuous posturing intended to attract females but instead generally looks st00pid.

flatlung: A sensation experienced by those living at lower altitudes (Puget Sound) when exerting at higher altitudes (Silverton).

brodacious - fraternal expression generally of positive note.
broviate - to speak pompously as a conceited overwrought induHvidual.

Gnarcissist - Piratical descriptive gnarticle of the all too commonly self absorbed. Also TG-narcissit.

Dicknuckle - similar to douchenozzle.

Masuclinity - well duh (credits to Klar).

Snarkasm - the shuddering ecstacsy unique to TGR resulting from abusive sarcasm

Feceous - Specious and full of shit.

Smugmatic - That ingrained superiority trip.

Elevenkara - One better than a tenkara.

proposal/suggestion: let this thread get buried. You can always search for it by name now that you know. PM Schmear for additions/suggestions, etc, or in a different thread, but not here...Let it sink...

A bump just to keep it out of the archives, please let it sink again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Core Shot

Mayonnaise - originally brought to France by Duke Richelieu, who tasted it while visiting Mahon, a city on the islond of Minorca.
dubbed Mahonaisse by the French chefs and consdered a delicacy.
Reserved only for the best most elegant meals, until 1912 when Richard Hellman began selling it in jars in his NYC deli.

[oh, the irony of reading that just last night in Uncle Johns Bathroom reader]
[Bagels, BTW, are attributed to 1683 Vienna Austria, created by a Jewish baker to honor the King of Poland for protecting the Austrians from the Turks.]

---

What did he do, throw lox at them?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yossarian

proposal/suggestion: let this thread get buried. You can always search for it by name now that you know. PM Schmear for additions/suggestions, etc, or in a different thread, but not here...Let it sink...

---

Maybe it has sunk too deeply?

Could use a few updates, but I'm not sure if Unibonger, iskibc, highwaystar, et al deserve any mention, since trolls and attention whores really shouldn't be fed and/or encouraged.

Mandatory Additions and Updates:

Plakespear - the most inspiring maggot ever. He brought neverending stoke and positive energy despite the pains and setbacks of his far too short existence.

Farts, Burps & Bacon Forum - the elusive "ghost forum" of TGR. It appears magically for brief inexplicable periods, never in winter, and quickly vanishes again.

awesome.

Back To The Top

Funny bump.

Bumpin it up
4
A little bit of mayo on my lunch break

Blt

Miracle whip?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Core Shot

Miracle whip?

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Hellman's, douchenozzle.

Uncultured swine. Jesus.
http://www.realjane.net/wp-content/u.../janedukes.jpg

bump

Buddy of mines wife's family were Heirs to the Best Food Mayo fortune.

It wasn't much of a fortune in reality, they both still work.

I fucking love mayonnaise.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by altachic

Tits

5678910

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Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Quote:

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Iceman A character in the (some claim) homoerotic movie Top Gun.

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Never liked that movie. Maybe I’m not ghey

Nttiawwt

PS. 15 years. Holy shitballs. Time flies when you’re wasting time.

Important Trivia: Kewpie mayo sold in the U.S. does not contain MSG. The Japanese version does. Choose more smart.

Might need a 2023 update for guyonabuffalo

Although as some have argued it’s a guy on a bison.

Maggot Brains on the book of faces


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