Friday totally random thread v6.2 (non-haiku)

Wow, asparagus pee in under an hour. Must be some kind of record.




On a different note,

Firefighters revive dog with CPR
Associated Press — Oct. 18, 2004

NEW CUMBERLAND, Pa. — Marshall, a Labrador retriever, is none the worse for wear after surviving a house fire — with the help of two firefighters who performed CPR.

The dog was overcome and stopped breathing Friday afternoon when a kitchen fire broke out at the home of his owners, George and Katherine Kabusk, who were away on vacation. Neighbors had been looking after the young chocolate Lab.

Two firefighters who were going through the Cumberland County home looking for possible victims stumbled on the dog's limp body on the second floor and carried him outside.

New Cumberland firefighter Jason Pooler gave Marshall mouth-to-snout resuscitation while Lemoyne firefighter Kenneth Mose pushed on the dog's chest to pump the heart. Together, they revived the pooch.

After an ambulance crew gave him oxygen, Marshall was whisked to a veterinarian for a checkup. He was back before firefighters finished rolling up their hose.

"The only regret I have is I still have dog breath," Pooler said. "But I'd do it again in a minute."

http://espn.go.com/outdoors/sporting...0/1905769.html

My neighbors eat lots of rotisserie chickens. I find their carcasses in the dumpsters. They look like little dead space chickens or something in those time capsule escape pod things that they come in.

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Originally Posted by meatdrink9

My neighbors eat lots of rotisserie chickens. I find their carcasses in the dumpsters. They look like little dead space chickens or something in those time capsule escape pod things that they come in.

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Maybe they are space chickens and they're only pretending to cook them. I bet if you looked hard enough, you'd find a whole farm of space chickens in their basement.

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I bet if you looked hard enough, you'd find a whole farm of space chickens in their basement.

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Maybe they have a spaceship, too. That'd be cool.

Do any of you do work... at work?

My newest dog bit through the cable for the receiver for my cordless mouse and keyboard yesterday afternoon, and my kid was home sick so I couldn't go to Radio shack to get a new one until about an hour ago. I went over 16 hours without the internet, I'm not sure how I made it.

we have 12 internets where i work.

This f'ing NHL strike is really pissing me off.

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Originally Posted by Droopy

Do any of you do work... at work?

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I don't understand the question.

There's a pink bunny staring at me on my desk. Should I squeeze it and see what happens?

NO! I learned long ago-- never, EVER, squeeze the bunny. :eek:

hey schmear, what do robot hands look like?

are they like human hands? like this sweet guy has:
http://www.xtra.co.nz/homepage2/imag...3165387,00.jpg

or are they more like this:
http://staff.bath.ac.uk/ensab/Teaching/Grip/fingers.jpg

if you didn't already know, i have a robot inside my brain, so i feel we have something in common. this is how i imagine my brain robot to look like:
http://www.recalldesign.it/recall/media/robot.jpg

There once was a man from Venus, he a rocketship for a .......

There once was a woman from China, she stuck a pop bottle in her ......

There once was a man from Nantucket, he owned an airplane and had a brother on a television show called "Wings"..... :tongue:

My new dog won't stop following me around the house. I can't even take a pee without tripping over her when I come out of the bathroom. She's laying so close to my chair right now that if I move, the wheels pinch her.



She's still pretty damn cool though.

I am in my northern utah home.... dressed like a preppy listening to gangsta rap.... Im your worst nightmare biotch. :fmicon:

So, I just got back from my lunch break and I went to Subway with my boss. We ate inside and when we got in his car we both were like, "man, something smells like serious shit". We start looking at our shoes to see if we stepped in anything, then we think it is probably just smell of the eating places around the area. We drive away from said eating places but it stills smells like shit, so I ask my boss if perhaps he shit himself. His reply, "I don't think so, but its possible." So, he wiggles around and realizes that he didn't shit himself. Phase 2, we start smelling our clothes. Since it was casual Friday I wore my TGR hoody to work. I smell it and realize that it absolutely reeks like Subway spices. He smells his jean shirt and realizes it too reeks like Subway shit. So, we found the source of the smell, now what do we do about. The hot girl at work is showing extra clevage today so we realize at lunch that we are both guilty of making excuses to talk to her all morning. We realize that if we are to continue this for the afternoon we can not smell like said Subway shit. I notice a Cat Equipment fleece in my bosses back seat so I switch out of TGR hoody and put on the new Catapillar fleece. I know no longer smell like Subway shit and am able to continue to check out nice cleavage. My boss interupted me 4 times while trying to type this which made it difficult.

I decided to wear clothes today. So if any of you see someone wearing clothes wandering around, that'll probably be me.

This morning while in line at the local non-Starbuckian java place, the lady in front of me ordered a Cafe au Lait, hold the milk.

Everybody in earshot kinda stopped to consider that one.

Any body here know Lanny Pickering from Walden, Colorado? I just had a Lanny sighting.

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Originally Posted by Innominatus

...Cafe au Lait, hold the milk...

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I don't know what this means, but okay

Charlotte Moats is starring at me right now. Go ahead, admit it. You are jealous.



Go ahead. Admit it.

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Originally Posted by Castro's

so I ask my boss if perhaps he shit himself. His reply, "I don't think so, but its possible." So, he wiggles around and realizes that he didn't shit himself.

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I don't even know what to say about this.

Bad Week in Louisiana for Barnyard Animals
Austin Gullette, 45, was arrested on Aug. 31 in West Monroe, La., after his sister caught him allegedly having sex with one of her three pigs. Two days later about 100 miles away in Florien, La., Timothy Garner, 35, was arrested after being spotted inside a henhouse, allegedly having sex with a chicken. (A sheriff's official in the West Monroe case said he had never before, in his 29-year career, seen a case of a man having sex with a pig, but then he added, to a Monroe News Star reporter, that of course there were cases involving men with "dogs, donkeys and sheep.") [News Star, 9-1-04] [Town Talk (Alexandria), 9-4-04]

Spuronculous redux quacked about the silver lining. Abundant vapoonery festooned the flimsy nightswitch, hung with fatigue and teenage angst. Neon featherdusters danced the can-can past Cancun and lobbied the stupid for greater understanding. Unfortunately, the only understanding were the feet.

I love burritos. I went to McChipotle for lunch today. Right as the burrito lady was putting the final fold in the tortilla she ripped it. She grabbed a second tortilla and double wrapped it. I got two tortillas and only paid for one. As aI was eating the burrito back at my dest Karl Stall called. We'd been playing phone tag for a few weeks and I really wanted to shoot the chit but my burrito was calling. I held out as long as possible but a burrito beats Karl Stall at lunch time.

Have you ever tried to get three little
girls ready for school on Friday before
Haloween by yourself? Last night it was
all figured out, 2 witches and a lion.
This morning by the time we left it was
one witch, one princess and one fairy. Lunch
hastily thrown in packs and we were gone.
Chased down the bus we missed and loaded 2
kids on it then realized I left my
breakfast on the steps by the front door. So
blast back home for some food cause if I eat
at Subway today I think I'll puke. Got
to work 45 minutes later than
normal. I'll be glad when Mrs. Beaver
gets home tomorrow, it's been a long week.

Two more days till my Elk tag expires and
I haven't seen one all autunm. This year
they are not wandering around eating
my garden and fruit trees pissing me off.

Edit: Iambic pentameter

In America, how quickly love turns to violence. Or is it food that turns to violence. I'm not sure, but Fox will build another series around it praying (sic) upon our nations thirst for morbid fascination.
Jeez, if they can make cooking shows into sporting events a la Iron Chef, can't we do tha same with real news?

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Originally Posted by Beaver

So blast back home for some food cause if I eat at Subway today I think I'll puke.

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Good thing you didn't eat Subway because you may have ended up smelling like Subway shit like my boss and I.

iceman, when Along Came Polly came out my boss admitted to sharting himself at a Perkins. He made the mistake of telling me this so its only natural to ask him if he shit himself when something smells like shit. :D

I wonder if Kremmling ever found a doctor?

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Originally Posted by road trip

This f'ing NHL strike is really pissing me off.

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Me too

I just got back from a local hockey arena to inquire about season tickets for the motor city mechanics. They want $850 :eek: for one ticket at center ice.
and the one luxury box is $1000 a game. A FUCKING GAME. I mean christ. SHIT. DAMN. This is minor league hockey. Granted they skate their asses off and fight like crazy but...........FUCK

I'm gonna have to start playing just to feel like I'm watching hockey.
but then I won't be drunk and watching hockey.....I'll be sweating and tired and wishing I was in bed.....

This double eged sword has a broad and mighty swing

The MIT Dome has turned into a giant Red Sox baseball:

http://alum.mit.edu/images/red-sox-hack.jpg

A fully cooked McDonalds burger is this thick and this wide:

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It is. I held it up to the screen to verify it.

Not so much burger, is it?

One another shitty note, a few of you may remember that I mixed up the "apple pie" concoction a couple weeks ago using apple cider, cinnamon sticks, and Everclear. I still had some left so last night at poker night I decided to consume the majority of what was left. BAD IDEA! I didnt' get overly drunk, but right before the Subway ordeal I began getting the shits. Having the shits at work has its pros and cons. Typically, I'd rather be at home when I get the shits, but when at work, one must make the most of the situation. The biggest con about getting the shits at work is that the TP is horrible. However, having the shits at work has its benefits. I've basically spent my entire afternoon either on the pot meaning I've been getting paid to shit all afternoon. Getting paid to shit would not happen if I were at home, but at least I'd have Charmin.

I like snowbird as a resort, but the company SUCKS!!!
Yeah, um, my foot is numb and tingly. I was blown off by another guy. This is becoming a not so fun routine.

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Originally Posted by EPSkis

A fully cooked McDonalds burger is this thick and this wide:

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It is. I held it up to the screen to verify it.

Not so much burger, is it?

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i tip my cap to you, a true man of science willing to go the extra mile.

start your mom jokes now:

Your mom was so desperate she looked in the "hook up" forum of the TGR board for dates.

Your mom is so short you can see her feet in her drivers liscense.

Your Mom's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

more slack.

Wow. Can a bacon-bump be next?

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Originally Posted by Schmear

Wow. Can a bacon-bump be next?

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Keep your kinky bacon fetish to yourself.