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We've got a management consultant in today tasked with improving workplace efficiency. As usual. I am cruising ebay, lurking here on the board, reading soccer websites and trying to blag free gear off motor manufacturers. Any advice on how to look as if I'm busy?
play the tracks game. that looks like real work.
Get a pile of papers and walk around really fast, it always worked for me.
Print out a thread... minus the avatars and pictures and read it that way while at your desk. Looks like you're proofing something and nobody would ever doubt the effectivness.
Open photoshop with a car pic in one window and continue reading TGR forums in another. I've found I can kill entire weeks without raising suspicion this way.
Boss: Watcha working on?
Me: Just cleaning up the graphics for our new ad.
Boss: Great, can't wait to see it.
One word... spreadsheets... lots of them. And remember the "boss" key, alt+tab... works everytime.
boss key works great, but the upgraded version is to reduce the window to about 3/4 size and have a excel/word/visio diagram in progress behind it, as soon as you think somebody's watching click to the side of the TGR window to get back to what you're working on. With the TGR screen in the middle and the excel/word/visio doc behind it, your head will mostly block the non-work browser.
Set your phone to ring every five minutes, then scream, "No there's too much crap in the code, I already have 300 hours in at home working on that." Next time, "Well, thank you for the offer, it's very generous, but I'm really happy with my current employer." Third time, "A dime bag, sure, but hurry up, can't you see I'm working here."
Iceman's suggestion is key. Walk around with papers, files, and -- every now and then -- boxes. Walk fast. Use speakerphone when you dial... that way everyone can hear the sound of "progress".
be like george in seinfeld and walk around with an angry look on your face and look frustrated
Seriously. I swear a lot whenever I'm trying to look busy because it makes me look not only busy, but dedicated! And incompetent!Quote:
Originally Posted by A-wreck
It is not possible to look busy unless your desk area is absolutely overflowing with files and papers. This however takes months and years to accumulate
:D :D :D:D
Building a bed under your desk though is not advised!Quote:
Originally Posted by A-wreck
sounds like Office Space all over again. Just tell the guy you hate your job and everyone else their is incompetent, promotion waiting in the wings.
not true. you can easily get a bunch of files all over the desk. If you have last years files buried under more current ones it should work great.Quote:
Originally Posted by lemon boy
I think there was a thread a while back that linked to an excerpt from a book written by a French executive written on the very subject. I don't remember what it was but she had a word to describe it (looking like you're working). search function jong ;)
Keep some kind of printed material (preferably TPS reports) in your left hand, keep a red pen in your right. Makes it look like anything on your monitor must be associated with the papers.
Does anyone else remember when a dime bag cost a dime? Those were the days.Quote:
Originally Posted by splat
put on some glasses and an oxford tshirt. lookin' smart is better than lookin' busy.
Roo,
I'm a big believer in the clipboard. No one fucks with a guy who has a clipboard. Only busy and diligent employees carry clipboards. Also, wear glasses and squint a lot. Squint at the clipboard. Eye strain is a sure sign of effort. Finally, occasionally walk fast and talk about the "need" for coffee on a day like today.
Damn the man,
Rusty
Have a look at this:
Online work simulator page
And, more generally, at this:The mint rubbing association
AKA "The Prop"Quote:
Originally Posted by iceman
First thing I learned in retail...always carry a prop. Nobody will question someone carrying a prop. Walking really quickly from point A to B always gives the impression of business as well....
That's where Punani gets all those spreadsheets!Quote:
Originally Posted by horizon
That sly beeeyatch.
looking constipated = looking busy
Slackers, you're fired:p ;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hicks
:D Says he.....boss of his own company and spends his life on here......priceless :D
:D I knew you would retaliate to my last PM - too bad there's no 'stinky-finger' icon I can put up for ya. But I guess it's you out of us who confessed having always TGR in the background..... :D :p ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayduke
Fair point Hicks. I lose. :)
I'm kind of one of those. Judging by the activities you've listed you'll get on fine and have plenty to talk about as he/she'll be doing exactly the same whilst dishing out the odd pearl of wisdom now and again....Quote:
Originally Posted by bad_roo
Management consultant. Pffft! WTF does that mean? Most of these idiots couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty Nails
If I had a clipboard at work I would get my teeth kicked in.
It's all about carrying around 3 inch hose to the vac can and washing things on the slab or laying down flooring in the doghouse..... oh wait... my suggestions probably won't work with your occupation.
I have found that people listen to you better if you wear a chest holster for your radios, and generally you get more respect if you have two radios versus one.