55 words

After several minutes of consideration, I deduced that people would not hate me for creating this thread. I thought it might be an interesting topic to probe the creative minds here.

My English teacher (who makes me not hate English nearly as fervently as I had previously) assigned us a story to be written in 55 words. No more. No less. Mine had to do with (guess...) skiing. There were others from some more "normal" people about horse races and school lectures, and the stupidity of our Citrix system at school, etc. etc. etc. So I want you guys to do the same: say what you can in 55 words. I'll bet I'll hear some extremely unexpected, random, deranged, etc., but most of all humorous responses...

Here is mine, if anyone cares:

It was waist deep. Deeper in the trees. And cold. So cold. Every turn was a refreshing plunge into the frozen abyss. I mached rhythmic turns off the Cirque, loving every minute of it. These days are not many. I welcomed choking for breath between each pummeling by the 10-degree white fluff. I love Altabird.

Edited because 1) I wanted to reduce ambiguousity about choking and 2) I like it better.

nicely done max.

it took 272 tries, but you nailed it.

Wait, what the hell...? Did I just get approval? :confused: Weheeeiiird.... ;)

Thanks, guys. But where's your stories? I want to hear some brief but intense derangement... Let's have it.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Max Gosey
Wait, what the hell...? Did I just get approval? :confused: Weheeeiiird.... ;)

Thanks, guys. But where's your stories? I want to hear some brief but intense derangement... Let's have it.

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NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO FUCKING NERDS!

Quote:

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Originally posted by Ogre
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!
NO NERDS! NO FUCKING NERDS!

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He made sure his post was exactly 55 words, and he's calling Max a nerd.
NO IRONY! NO IRONY! NO IRONY!!!!

Mine's sort of plagerized...

I was deep in her waist. Deeper ever before. And warm. So warm. Every thrust was a refreshing plunge into the flesh abyss. I mached rhythmic turns, loving every minute of it. These days are not many. She welcomed the ninety eight point six-degree choking spray down her throat. I love doing hot chicks.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Max Gosey
I welcomed the ten-inches choking spray down my throat with each thrusting movement. I love Altadude.

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Maybe you should write one about skiing too.

She's smiling at me looking into my eyes. I'm cold, wet, and ugly but she doesn't care. I haven't been this excited since I caught my first fish looking back and talking to her it hits me, I'm here talking to someone who I see love in her eyes. We get off the lift I forget her after 3 turns.

Quote:

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Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
She's smiling at me looking into my eyes. I'm cold, wet, and ugly but she doesn't care. I haven't been this excited since I caught my first fish

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At this point I thought a bear had jumped through your window, knocked you off your chair and started typing.

I also realised that the bear could spell and miraculously had learnt to use punctuation. However, if a kid from AK struggles with spelling how is a bear going to be able to do it.

Bottom of the 10th in Game6 of the 1986 World Series. Mookie Wilson steps up to bat and hits a slow grounder that should have been an easy out. But the Curse of the Bambino caused the slow grounder to trickle through Boston first baseman Bill Buckner’s legs allowing the winning run in.

Hmm, let me see, a story with 55 words.

Word word word word word word word word word word.
Word word word word word word word word word word.
Word word word word word word word word word word.
Word word word word word word word word word word.
Word word word word word word word word word word.
Word word word word word.

:D

Deborah was a Catholic girl, she held out to the bitter end.
Carla was a different type, she's the one who put it in.
Mary was a black girl, and I was afraid of a girl like that.
Susan painted pictures sitting down like the Buddhists sat.
Reno was an aimless girl, a geographic memory.
Cathy was a Jesus-freak, she liked that kind of misery.
Vicky had this special way of turning sex into a song.
Camella couldn't sing, kept the beat and kept it strong.
Xylla was an archetype, the voodoo queen, the queen of rap.
Joan thought men were second best to masturbating in the bath.
Sherri was a feminist, she really had that gift of gab.
Kathleen's point of view was this: take whatever you can grab.
Seattle was another girl who left her mark upon the map.
Karen liked to tie me up, and left me hanging by a strap.
Jeannie had this nightclub walk that made grown men feel underage.
Mary Ellen, who had a son and said "I must go, but finally stayed.
Gloria, the last taboo was shattered by her tongue one night.
Mimi brought the taboo back and held it up before the light.
Marilyn, who knew no shame, was never, ever satisfied.
Julie came and went so fast, she didn't even say good-bye.
Well, Rhonda had a house in Venice, lived on brown rice and cocaine.
Patty had a house in Houston, shot cough syrup in her veins.
Linda thought her life was empty, filled it up with alcohol.
Katherine was much too pretty, she didn't do that sh** at all.Uh-uh. Not Katherine.
Pauline thought that love was simple, turn it on and turn it off.
Kit-Marie was complicated, like some French film-maker's plot.
Gina was the perfect lady, always kept her stockings straight.
Jackie was a rich punk-rocker, silver spoon and a paper plate.
Sarah was a modern dancer, a lean pristine transparency.
Janet wrote bad poetry in a crazy kind of urgency.
Tanya Turkish liked to f*** while wearing leather biker boots.
Brenda's strange obsession was for certain vegetables and fruits.
Roeena was an artist's daughter, the deeper image shook her up.
Dee-dee's mother left her father, took his money and his truck.
Debbie-Rae had no such problems, perfect Norman Rockwell home.
Nina, sixteen, had a baby, left her parents, lived alone.
Bobbie joined a new-wave band, and changed her name to Bobbie-sox.
Eloise, who played guitar, sang songs about whales and cocks.
Terri didn't give a shit, just a nihilist.
Ronnie was much more my style, she wrote songs just like this.
Jezebel went forty days drinking nothing but Perrier.
Dinah drove her Chevrolet into the San Francisco bay.
Judy came from O-hi-o, she's a Scientologist.
Pomerante, here's a kiss, I chose you to end this list.
Eighty-eight lines about forty-four women.

Quote:

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Originally posted by DaveTV
Bottom of the 10th in Game6 of the 1986 World Series. Mookie Wilson steps up to bat and hits a slow grounder that should have been an easy out. But the Curse of the Bambino caused the slow grounder to trickle through Boston first baseman Bill Buckner’s legs allowing the winning run in.

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damn that hurts.

Quote:

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Originally posted by fez
damn that hurts.

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So much dude

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four women.

Good times. I was suprised to hear it in a tv ad last year.

Max. I likee. Cool.

Quote:

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Originally posted by joshbu
Mine's sort of plagerized...

I was deep in her waist. Deeper ever before. And warm. So warm. Every thrust was a refreshing plunge into the flesh abyss. I mached rhythmic turns, loving every minute of it. These days are not many. She welcomed the ninety eight point six-degree choking spray down her throat. I love doing hot chicks.

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Plagarized from AKPMs private storybook bout Ingrid

OK. I'll play for real...

No one has ever died in my family. Of course, if you are a family of one, then that's plain. I'm not a family of one. Still no one has died yet. I wonder what that will feel like. Will it be a sad or angry feeling? How will I cope? What if it's me?

You've got to love gravity. It sends me reeling in a headlong plunge, choking and whooping, slashing and smearing down Alf's High Rustler. We foolishly think we can defy it but we're forever in its thrall. My English teacher, on the other hand, isn't so stoked on gravity. It's done strange things to her boobies.

55. Thats me as of yesterday. Am I required to move over to Epic now? My parents called and jokingly said I could move into their retirement city in Arizona and be their neighbor now. My ski season finally ended in July at 45 days, I should try to match my age this coming season!

Nice guys. :)

As you approach the cliff edge, at forty miles an hour, the world slows down. You feel each oxygen particle hitting your face. Then you fly.

Others will say dust to dust; you gave it all up for one mad moment. Only you know, just before you hit the rocks, that your flight is eternal.

Max...well written. Don't be afraid of the semi-colon.

And if your English teacher tells you that "mach" is not a verb; respond that he is a stinking JONG and it FKNA is too.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Oopsie Daisy
To quote Barbie: Math is hard! :o

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Barbie doesn't talk, that would be Malibu Stacy.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Oopsie Daisy
Mrs. Roo, may I have a nip of absynthe? If so, will it make my pussy as fierce as the one in your avatar?

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It's not fierce, it just doesn't blink!

Quote:

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Originally posted by Oopsie Daisy
Anybody remember the Barbie Liberation Movement?

A most excellent prank, circa year 2000...

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Bwhahahahahaha

Just to comment: I am not afraid of the semicolon, I just didn't think it fit the style here. I wanted simple thoughts cuz that's how you think when you are ridiculously happy. Just the basics. But.. wait what am I doing! Explaining syntax! AAaaahhh!!! I sound like an English teacher!!!! :eek: Just kidding...

Irul: my English teacher approved highly. She didn't even ostricize me for writing my third story this week about skiing!!! :D

Roo, I just got a chance to actually read yours. Very very nice sir. Any more takers? The ones so far aren't nearly as effed up as I expected to find... ;)

Quote:

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Originally posted by Oopsie Daisy
Anybody remember the Barbie Liberation Movement?

A most excellent prank, circa year 2000...

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muh bad.

Light falls from the edges of the shortening days, awakening smoldering embers deep within my soul. Cold air swirls down into the valley, frightening color into blushing, anxious leaves. Fog lurks low over Squaw Creek. Soon, the snow will come, forcing the darkness from my life and leaving only shimmering bright powder in its wake.

You hit on me on the chairlift, you hit on me in the bar, you hit on me in the parking lot. Will you just get lost! I came here to ski, not to fuck. Do you want to be my friend or do you just want to fuck me? Cause it ain't gonna happen.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Beaver
No shit? Well happy fucking belated birthday man. You really should try to match your days of skiing to your age this winter. At 36 I managed half my age in ski days, pretty sad really but most of them were touring so that's not too bad I guess. May your turns be bottomless. Get some.

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Thanks Beaver:D My wife asked if I had change for double nickels, HA HA! I see you're from BC, I'm hoping to get back up to Whitewater this year, guess thats more the Selkirks than Kootenays, but close! When you're not touring where do you usually ski?
edit:
Oops, only 47 words. Wait, there's 55.

Quote:

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Originally posted by fiddler
55. Thats me as of yesterday. Am I required to move over to Epic now? My parents called and jokingly said I could move into their retirement city in Arizona and be their neighbor now. My ski season finally ended in July at 45 days, I should try to match my age this coming season!

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Your old.