How do I pull this one off (boooty call related)

So I'm taking the norwedgion chick fishing on wedsday and my rents are both out of town and I get the houses to myself so far my plan is to inviter her to come eat dinner and I'll cook up her fish offer some wine ect. that gets her in the house then what? I can't drink because I have to take her home that night and I have to be at work at 7 am the next day... how do I pull this one off? (besides making a kickass dinner) And does anybody put stuff on the fish when they bbq salmon?

And wish me tons of luck

I really haven't followed any of the saga you posted, but...

Forget working too hard to impress her. Show her that you care, and mostly that you're interested in her and what she has to say. Dinner will not seal the deal for you, but if you can listen attentively (or appear to) to whatever crap she has to say until 2 or 3 in the morning, and say something witty/understanding, you should bag her. That's how it should work, anyway.

^^^^ Yeah, that.

And if she starts getting off the topic (assuming the underlying topic is you scoring), bust out complements. For example:

Her: "Yeah, I like blah blah blah, but blah blah blah is better. You know that blah blah blah, because blah blah makeup, blah blah new shampoo, blah blah blah.....

You: (Inetentionally interupting her). I love your dimples.

Her: "My dimples? What dimples?"

You: "When you smile, you have these really cute dimples. You didn't know that? Sorry, I didn't mean to interupt you, but I like them, and I just wanted to tell you that."


Do that a few times, and she'll start thinking about making babies before you do.

Never thought I'd see the day when AKPM's name was next to the words "booty call".

As for advice, it's a well documented fact that a girl will decide whether or not she's going to fuck you within the first five minutes of meeting you. So just make sure you give a firm handshake, don't say/do anything stupid after that, and you should be hittin' the skins in no time.

Girls from Norwedge are hot.

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Originally posted by irul&ublo
Girls from Norwedge are hot.

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Ahhhhh...Norwedge....

http://www.bullz-eye.com/gallery_sho...ong_dawn_1.jpg

As for the salmon, melt some butter then mix in brown sugar. It will turn into a paste if you don't have enough butter. You want it to be thick, not runny. Lay out a little tin foil, use a bbq brush to brush on the butter/sugar. Wrap up the fillet and bbq. I make this on occasion and people love it. If it doesn't get you laid, don't blame me.

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Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
I'll cook up her fish

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Bwah!


No advice, since I suck at giving it, and after this weekend, I'm not one to talk.

Mrs. phUnk made this kick ass salmon with a wasabi marinade when I was in SLC. PM phUnk and see if she can send you the recipe.

As far as female advice: maintain eye contact. I know this sounds really easy, but it's not. I'd probably be a lot more successful with the ladies if I wasn't constantly checking out their boobs. So keep your eyes on hers and don't glance at her cleavage.

Chicks from Norwedge get off on watching you gut a salmon in front of them and then rub the offal in their hair. You'll be guaranteed to score, especially if you strip down to your smalls and then proclaim that your are known locally as King Dung Puncher.

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Originally posted by bad_roo
Chicks from Norwedge get off on watching you gut a salmon in front of them and then rub the offal in their hair. You'll be guaranteed to score, especially if you strip down to your smalls and then proclaim that your are known locally as King Dung Puncher.

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Listen to this man. He is the essense of smoooove.

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Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
How do I pull this one off

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Slow pitch in the title....


At risk of being too serious... Are you sure it's a booty call that you're interested in? Your previous post regarding this lady seem to indicate a deeper interest

But, what do I know?

well, it could be very easy for if depending on one condition. is this norweigen girl a citizen of the USA yet? if not, just tell her you'll hook her up with a green card, and that should get you in. if not, just get her REALLY drunk, may i recommend 2 bottles of wine?

Okay,

From one guy who is not smooth with the ladies lemme give just a little advice.

1. Condoms, you should own them and make sure they fit. They should be handy but not obvious. Set your mind that you ain't gonna need em.
2. Now, this is the hard part: DROP ALL OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS!

Trust me I know how it fucking works and I can see you doing it, a little fishin a little cookin a little drinking maybe she suggests some light petting and starts sucking your nob and BAZAM! she wants you to ride her like the lone ranger's horse silver. THAT IS A MASTABATORY FANTASY! and they're good but not what a date is like (although, some dates can later be re-run as a mastabatory fantasy if they go well, if they go really well you won't need to hork off for a while).

Now, this doesn't mean that you can't pre plan shit (have some salmon thawed and marinated and just tell her you cooked her's (provided she catches one)) but IMVHE the best dates have some pre-plan with an opening activity and then simply evolve from there.

Additionally, it is just a date. If it doesn't go good or you don't hit it off or whatever, it isn't a big deal. Making everything a BIG DEAL with girls just fucks you up and doesn't get you laid. It is a DATE, have fun, be yourself and above all if something stupid or embarrassing happens to you LAUGH YOUR FUCKING ASS OFF AT YOURSELF.

As far as the title goes, beyond TN's suggetion, this isn't the right use of the phrase, which is of course all beside the point.

Good luck ----> JUST HAVE FUN!

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Originally posted by bad_roo
Chicks from Norwedge get off on watching you gut a salmon in front of them and then rub the offal in their hair.

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That's true, and everyone here is offering up some fancy ways to cook the salmon. Hell, give her some lutefisk and she'll be happy as a lark.

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Originally posted by The AD
Hell, give her some lutefisk and she'll be happy as a lark.

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Lutefisk is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.

CHANGE THAT FUCKING PICTURE BY YOUR NAME!

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Originally posted by Plakespear
Lutefisk is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.

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Damn Swedes ;)

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Originally posted by Plakespear
Lutefisk is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.

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Said by a guy who clearly hasn't tried a lot of foods.

I put lutefisk pretty solidly in the middle of the pack. For reference, that's right around dog food but somewhat below dog treats.

Well for your diner do the following.

Get some "Diana's cajan marinade" and let the fish soak in it while refrigerated for an hour before you grill. Now take some tinfoil and make a small 9x12 baking pan that has sides. Put the tin pan you made on the grill and toss on the fish. Pour the excess marinade on top of the fish. With the marinade filling up the pan it will boil and give an extra steam effect. Yes it does help with the flavor of the fish, but the steam effect looks cool as well for some added BBQ drama.

For a vegatable go purchase 1 red bell pepper, 1 green zucchini squash, and 1 yellow zucchini squash. Cut out the core, and the seeds of the red bell pepper and then cut the pepper into long thin strips. Cut the zucchine squash's into quarters, then cut away the inner seed pulp, then cut those into long strips as well. Heat your pan up completely on medium heat. Then put 1tablespoon of olive oil, and a few drops of hot sauce. Toss in your veggies and season them with a pinch of ginger, a pinch of garlic, and a pinch of sugar. Only cook them for 5 minutes then cover with foil, turn off the heat, and keep the pan on the burner. This will cook your veggies while keeping them firm.

Now for the potatoe. Take one big Idaho spud and cut it into chips w/skin still on. Then take 1 texas yellow sweet onion and cut that into chips. Get out the tinfoil again and throw the spud/onion chips in the foil. Take a healthy dab of butter and toss it on top. Season everything with Lawry's seasoning salt and pepper. Then roll it all up into a pouch and toss on the grill about 15 minutes before you start cooking the fish. This way your potatoe pocket will be done when the fish is.

And one glass of wine with dinner isn't going to kill you. You can make an appt if you want. Broil mushroom caps stuffed with cream cheese and crab meat is a big winner usually.

Now as far as the female get laid advice goes. Don't listen to any bullshit we may tell you here. Because when it comes down to all that stuff ends up forgotten. It comes down to what kind of person you are inside, and any chemistry the two of you have. But I will tell you this much. If you go into this with the idea of getting laid it won't happen. Just let it flow and be yourself.

Incase it you feel it might happen. Well PM me and I'll tell you the secret to the "one handed bra undoing " trick. :cool:

Teej - you ever hear of an American politician called Dan Quayle?

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Originally posted by bad_roo
Teej - you ever hear of an American politician called Dan Quayle?

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9 minutes. 9 friggen minutes it took someone to catch onto that. You maggots are slipping just a bit. I toss out a fresh jong bomb like that and it takes 9 minutes before it gets caught. It's summer time when maggots are glued more to this site than any other time. I'm so dissappointed. 9 minutes :rolleyes:
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Ya I think they bought that excuse;)

http://us.st5.yimg.com/store4.yimg.c...s_1793_2706382

Just kidding! Sorry, dude - somebody forwarded me a website of these just before clicking on this one and I couldn't hold back. :D

In all honesty - whatever you do - DO NOT OVER DO IT. Nothing will turn a maggette off more than going over the top. Be yourself and just make it a fun night. Get a movie. Play a stupid board game or something. If you try too hard, she'll catch onto your motivation immediately. And nothing sends a girl out the door faster than knowing that the only thing on your mind is getting in her pants.

AKPM - be nice, be interested i.e. ask her questions (amazing how many guys would rather talk about themselves on a date than get to know the other person), listen to her answers and show that you're listening by asking more questions sparked by her answers. She'll warm to you in no time.

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Originally posted by yogachik
AKPM - be nice, be interested i.e. ask her questions (amazing how many guys would rather talk about themselves on a date than get to know the other person), listen to her answers and show that you're listening by asking more questions sparked by her answers. She'll warm to you in no time.

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He he... no offense, yoga, but somewhat ironic comment! Dissing guys for talking about themselves and not me!

Guys talk about themselves for two reasons: 1 - because it is a comfortable topic that they can speak about at ease (when they are in a nervous situation like trying to impress) and 2 - because they feel that they are trying to impress! Like giving a case to a jury - "this is why you should go out with me!!"

For the most part, it is done subconsciously. If a female casually points out that the male in question is doing this - then I'm sure the conversation will turn to something that she's more comfortable with! Like herself! ;)

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Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
How do I pull this one off (boooty call related)

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Start by loosing the orange lens glasses (unless its flat light) and the face paint. ;)

Just kidding.

I think the yogachik nailed it. Conversation that “she” is interested will go a long way…even for a married dude like me.

Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.

You're young enough that this will not affect your ability to perform, in the unlikely event that it becomes an issue.

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Originally posted by Spats
Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.

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Ha Ha Ha! This is good advice for a guy your age...Shit it's good advice for any guy.

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Originally posted by road trip
http://us.st5.yimg.com/store4.yimg.c...s_1793_2706382

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Damn, I need to get one of those for my room.

Get a haircut, ya damn hippie.

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In all honesty - whatever you do - DO NOT OVER DO IT. Nothing will turn a maggette off more than going over the top. Be yourself and just make it a fun night. Get a movie. Play a stupid board game or something. If you try too hard, she'll catch onto your motivation immediately. And nothing sends a girl out the door faster than knowing that the only thing on your mind is getting in her pants.

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werd

I scared off way to many quality women in Aspen by going way over the top first date ( flowers music, etc) cuz I was tired of the odds & the bar whores.

once I got here & was not so, well desperate, I just was me & showed a keen interest in them & the rest is, well legend around these parts........

ok the last part is kidding but the rest is serious.

at her age she better think ya want her & not parts of her or yur done & she will tell all of her friends how it was you handsy bastard

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Originally posted by Woodsy
once I got here & was not so, well desperate, I just was me & showed a keen interest in them & the rest is, well legend around these parts........

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Ha! :D

First she has to know that she can be comfortable and have fun with you.

Then she'll make herself comfortable and have fun with you! ;)

What I remember about being a 17year old idiot trying to beat the long shot odds of getting laid, the most useful advice came in 2 parts:
1) girls want to bone just as bad as you
2) mostly, you just have to not screw up and you're in there

A list of things not to do would include a bunch of things that have already been mentioned: don't go overboard, don't have any expectations.
Some not mentioned: don't go for her pants as soon as you want to (not even half as fast as you want to), don't keep score in your head of things done right and wrong over the course of the night, don't think you can read her mind (read her body language and listen to her words/tone/pace), don't make a big deal about it when you make your move, don't think it's over if she asks you to slow down, don't talk about yourself in a manner that has any chance of grossing her out or making her not trust you, don't act cocky, don't act like you're not worthy, the list could go on longer..

Treat her with respect and get her to give you the lead.

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Originally posted by road trip
He he... no offense, yoga, but somewhat ironic comment! Dissing guys for talking about themselves and not me!

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Actually, it's a two way street. I ask tons of questions. If I'm out with you, I want to know you better, know who you are. In my experience, guys don't ask many questions. They want to cut to the chase and get to know you later.

AKPM - so keen to lose the "V" plates this summer. ;)

And yes, so was I a few years ago...

bust out some Norwegian on her!
"Vil du kline med meg?" (vill doo cleeneh meh mey) = will you make out with me

vil du pune med meg (poone) = will you fuck with me?

Substitute hunglah (see under my screen name) for kline and you have the Swedish version.
All of these worked for me this winter.

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Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
So I'm taking the norwedgion chick fishing on wedsday and my rents are both out of town and I get the houses to myself so far my plan is to inviter her to come eat dinner and I'll cook up her fish offer some wine ect. that gets her in the house then what? I can't drink because I have to take her home that night and I have to be at work at 7 am the next day... how do I pull this one off? (besides making a kickass dinner) And does anybody put stuff on the fish when they bbq salmon?

And wish me tons of luck

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Dude, you can't drink because you have to take her home? uh, you drink, then you can't take her home, so she has to stay. Then you get to playing guitar or looking at pictures in your room, you both end up sitting on the bed, then you lay on the bed, and then you are humping and pumping (or at least making out) in no time. You would be suprised how well it works.

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Originally posted by Spats
Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.

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Since this is AKPM, I recommend you follow this advice twice.

Don't forget to hide the evidence. ;)

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Originally posted by White Chocolate
Then you get to playing guitar or looking at pictures in your room, you both end up sitting on the bed, then you lay on the bed, and then you are humping and pumping (or at least making out) in no time. You would be suprised how well it works.

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That only works on chicks that banged your best friend.

[/Phoebe Cates] Mike Damone is a fucking prick! [/Phoebe Cates]

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Originally posted by SponsoredByDuctTape
That only works on chicks that banged your best friend.

[/Phoebe Cates] Mike Damone is a fucking prick! [/Phoebe Cates]

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"First of all Monkey, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."
Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."
And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."