Commencement Speakers

Always fun this time of year to see what kind of goofy ass shit commencement speakers say to students as they're sitting outside baking their ass off under a gown or trapped in a gymnasium.

I've had a couple good ones with Congressman John Lewis speaking at my law school commencement, and I got to hear Lee Majors speak about his 5th liver transplant at my sister's undergrad commencement.

On the other hand at my other sister's college graduation we got treated to a 45 minute lecture about "privilege" from the 21 y/o valedictorian who also happened to be the granddaughter of Bill Bogle, founder of Vanguard Funds, who was sitting in the front row rolling his eyes.

This one has to take the cake though from THE Ohio State University this week. This guy admitted to writing the speech high on ayahuasca, oddly pimped Bitcoin, gave out free charm bracelets from his startup and led not one but two attempted singalongs, one of which to Four Non Blondes' What's Going On?.

https://www.dispatch.com/story/news/...s/73632227007/

I have to imagine it would be like Leroy Jenkins and Pure Gravity hosting a timeshare pitch.

This is one of my favorites, doesn't really get good till the 10 min mark.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzu9S5FL-Ug

My college grad speaker was Pete Seeger, who did a show and told us he was trying to save the Hudson River.
Med school the class voted for Hanoi Jane. They gave us Marcus Welby (Robt Young) instead. He was actually pretty good although I was seriously buzzed so it doesn't count and I can't remember anything he said.
I went to my cousin's law school grad and fell asleep to Ralph Nader.
Anyone here that can identify all 5 people I named in this thread. (6 if you count Henry Hudson).

Old Goat droppin Old Names.

Did Ralph talk about cars?

My commencement speaker was astronaut Marc Garneau.

I don’t remember anything he said, so I guess it could have been worse, or better.

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Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Old Goat droppin Old Names.

Did Ralph talk about cars?

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Dude- reading comprehension. He was asleep.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by warthog

Dude- reading comprehension. He was asleep.

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He said he fell asleep to Ralph, meaning Ralph's dulcet tones and dire warnings lulled him to sleep.

I saw this one live. No clue who did the speech at my ghetto school, but my sistah was wicked smaht.

https://www.c-span.org/video/?106133...s-commencement

I can't wait until Aaron Rodgers hits the commencement speech circuit. He'll be so pumped up from getting a free robe and hat that he'll spew all kinds of off the wall shit and random conspiracies.

Hold on, the mighty Steve "better/faster/stronger than before" Austin was a commencement speaker ? Did he give a trip report about banging Farah in her prime ?

https://youtu.be/_yrqai8eqpE?si=OQwnsHUz8Gsf6jZ4

still relevant

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

I have to imagine it would be like Leroy Jenkins and Pure Gravity hosting a timeshare pitch.

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https://live.staticflickr.com/4103/5...6895b7d9bc.jpg

For my wife’s PhD commencement Mr. Roger’s spoke. Fred of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, not Aaron. It was really fun to be there.

That's cool. Did she go to Dartmouth? I think there's a famous one of Mr. Rodgers giving the commencement speech there that was really nice.

Zero Bitcoin pitch or plug for his startup.

Mine was fucking Antonin Scalia. It wasn’t much of a get either, since his daughter was a sophomore. My GF at the time graduated 2 years earlier and had George Will. There was a theme.

A few years ago one of the high schools in town invited an alumna to speak about developing a successful business. That business is Buzzballs, the pre-mixed cocktails. The news coverage was polite, but I heard from a lot of people that it was wildly inappropriate for a high school audience. Even accepting the fact that a large portion of the kids are drinking and hooking up.

Gary Trudeau spoke at my graduation. I'm sure I would have enjoyed it but I skipped it.

HINT: he's not a Canadian politician....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by evasive_MT

Mine was fucking Antonin Scalia. It wasn’t much of a get either, since his daughter was a sophomore. My GF at the time graduated 2 years earlier and had George Will. There was a theme.

A few years ago one of the high schools in town invited an alumna to speak about developing a successful business. That business is Buzzballs, the pre-mixed cocktails. The news coverage was polite, but I heard from a lot of people that it was wildly inappropriate for a high school audience. Even accepting the fact that a large portion of the kids are drinking and hooking up.

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I had nino Scalia speak. Smart dude. His son was in my class.

Buzz balls? That’s fkna hilarious.

My college graduation speaker was the writer of Deliverance, Jim Dickey. He was a great speaker and a better drinker. Wasn’t phased by randoms shouts of Sooooo-iieeee!!! But the heater he had going definitely helped w some good rambling asides. A+

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Old Goat droppin Old Names.

Did Ralph talk about cars?

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Before I fell asleep he was saying something about all the grads should become public interest lawyers. I suspect most of them fell asleep too.
Interesting thing is--Ralph continued to drive a Camaro after he wrote the book.

His corvair must have been in the shop.

I can't picture Ralph Nadar in a camaro any more than Bernie.

I think Matt's Off Road proved Nadar right though for the current generation.

I am so confused, because according to the interwebz, Lee Majors has never had a liver transplant…

That’s because it’s a bionic liver.


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Old girlfriend, (as opposed to new girlfriend), went to Yale School of Drama and they gave Paul Newman his diploma, even though he left early from the program. Met him and Joanne and he was hilarious.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Harry

That’s because it’s a bionic liver.


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did it make any of these noises whilst he was imbibing?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OyIBuF73PQ


Curious minds wanna know!