How to deal with psycho bitches?

Disclaimer: Not referring to any chick I've banged

A psycho bitch moved into my apt block and lives downstairs from me. She is a fucking tool and calls the cops for any noise after 10pm....she yells at me for "noisily" hauling my bike down the stairs at noon since I was disturbing her beauty sleep (which she needs a lot of). She regularly calls cops on any parties happening in the apt block and adjacent apt blocks for the sake of being a bitch (and presumably because she needs all the beauty sleep she can get).

So last night psycho bitch parks in front of the automatic garage door. This morning I hit the garage door opener, not knowing what's out there, it hits the front of her piece of shit car (no damage), and then she's screaming saying that I'll pay for damages and that she'll key my car and slash the tires and shit.

So I give her a taste of her own medicine and give her the Pound Key treatment, but I'm now worried for my car's welfare.

How do you deal with such psycho bitches? I do have her cell phone number for pranks and other shit.

Dear Diary,

Hi, how are you? This is Punani again. Been a long time since I wrote you about woman problems. Almost a week I think. Anyway, I hope you are good. Write back when you have a sec, 'kay?

Love,
*SuPaPu

Obviously the correct answer is to stick it in her pooper.

Then post pics.

I'd just cut to the chase--
1. Open said car's driver's side door
2. Squat
3. Grunt
4. Strike match
5. Watch evidence burn
6. Laugh
7. Swear at said Pyscho bitch
8. Laugh some more
9. Park your car somewhere else for the next month or so.

Tow her car. :the_finge

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Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

A psycho bitch moved into my apt block and lives downstairs from me.

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Honey Pie????

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Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

. She is a fucking tool and calls the cops for any noise after 10pm.....

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Now, now, a tool is something useful!!!! She's definitely not a tool. She probably just needs one used creatively.

1) Apply makeup, false eyelashes.
2) Apply suitable coldcuts to chest, Blood sausage is best, but bologna will do.
3) Don swimming regalia, including swimfins, mask, etc. Carry boardwax.
4) If you have daring friends, ask them to accoutrement themselves accordingly.
4) Stride proudly over to her apartment door. Knock.

When she opens the door, ask her if she want to party. Bat eyelashes and wiggle.

She will most likely slam the door in your face. If she invites you in, don't say much, act as weird as possible and eat all your coldcuts. If she hasn't thrown you out yet, leave and tell her you're going to stock up some more.

Continue to behave in socially unacceptable, but friendly ways. Before long, she'll be avoinding you. Mission accomplished.

get your neighbors that feel the same way to report her uncivil activities to the super.

Make her life miserable by putting the stereo on a timer cranked for 1 minute every hour or so.

If she ever tries anything like that on you again, SuPu, call the poLice and get the bitch on record for threatening you as well as your property.

Take some of that nasty Philipino fish sauce (which I mistook for Mang Tomas one time - effin nasty), and put it on her doorknob. If you can dump some in her car, then she will need more than beauty sleep to get rid of that stink.

Buy a dictaphone, try to get her to threaten you to f-up your car again, record the conversation, pray for her to f-up your car. When she does, call the cops. A nice little misdemeanor conviction and fine will shut her up.

Or, write her a letter detailing the content of your past confrontations, her threats to damage your car, and stuff re: the terms of your lease and how it lets you be loud at 10:30, carry things down stairs, and open garage doors. Threaten law suit or call to the cops if harassment continues. Save a copy for yourself and CC your landlord. Fuck it - CC everyone in your apartment complex. Then you have a legit paper trail down the road if she does something stupid and it may shut her up a bit too, and it will unite the front against the psycho biotch.

If you have her cell phone number I would call the Jehova's Witnesses and tell them you are interested in learning more about their religion. Then give them her address and phone number as contact information :the_finge

Then for good measure shit in a small tuperware container and mail it to her...

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Originally Posted by Pinner

Obviously the correct answer is to stick it in her pooper.

Then post pics.

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That's funny.



Depending upon your level of depravity and commitment, you could do lots of things. I'd start by having someone steal her shoe from her in public, take deep breaths from it, then run away with it. Repeat every other week for two months time.

Go up to her, shout loudly "WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH?!!" and start giggling maniacally.

If she doesn't run away immediately (or mace you), start singing "it puts the lotion on its skin."

jesus...how fucking close was she parked to the garage door that it hit her car when you opened it???
as said before, id get her threats on record, and wear lunchmeat.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pinner

Obviously the correct answer is to stick it in her pooper.

Then post pics.

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STICK IT IN HER POOPER AND POST THE PICS!!!! :biggrin:

So I guess I'm the only one who doesn't know what the "Pound Key" treatment is. What, you keyed her car or something?

Wow, sounds like she is psycho. Why would see be made about you hitting the garage door opener and hitting her car? She was parked outside the garage and you hit the remote from the inside of the garage. What's wrong with that. You have places to go and bitches to bang, right? Why the hell was she parked on the other side of the garage door opener? Was she running upstairs real quick or something?

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Originally Posted by Summit

STICK IT IN HER POOPER AND POST THE PICS!!!! :biggrin:

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Then stick the pics in her pooper and take pics of that!!!

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Originally Posted by meatdrink9

Then stick the pics in her pooper and take pics of that!!!

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An den?

123456789

YOU are asking US????

Kill the bitch.

It's likely that no one will be looking for her since she's psycho.

So the noise complaints sound like our neighbors at my condo complex. It didn't matter what time it was they complained about the stereo. Mid day on a weekend and they threatened to call the cops cause they could hear it. I politely explained the noise ordinance in our town: Between 10 pm and 7 am it has to be quiet so that if someone is standing in the parking lot in front of the condo they can't hear it or can barely hear it. So the continued complaining about the noise after 10 (which was completely within town ordinances) so i told them to go ahead and call the cops. After 3 trips to our place in 2 weeks the cops told our neighbors not to call again or they would be cited. Our problem has since ended and they leave us alone no matter how loud the music is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

Disclaimer: Not referring to any chick I've banged

A psycho bitch moved into my apt block and lives downstairs from me. She is a fucking tool and calls the cops for any noise after 10pm....she yells at me for "noisily" hauling my bike down the stairs at noon since I was disturbing her beauty sleep (which she needs a lot of). She regularly calls cops on any parties happening in the apt block and adjacent apt blocks for the sake of being a bitch (and presumably because she needs all the beauty sleep she can get).

So last night psycho bitch parks in front of the automatic garage door. This morning I hit the garage door opener, not knowing what's out there, it hits the front of her piece of shit car (no damage), and then she's screaming saying that I'll pay for damages and that she'll key my car and slash the tires and shit.

So I give her a taste of her own medicine and give her the Pound Key treatment, but I'm now worried for my car's welfare.

How do you deal with such psycho bitches? I do have her cell phone number for pranks and other shit.

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She wants you. For the sake of the neighborhood, take one for the team and do her. Preferably in the butt. Then, never call. That'll show her.

I like Irul's idea, but here's a different suggestion:

Smash her face into a car window, then take her mother out for a nice steak dinner and never call her again.