Damn lemonaid extortionists.

So I live at the end of a dead end street. The next-door neighbors (one house before mine as you come down the street), have three little kids. Instead of sending them to camp or something, their arch-conservative Dad has decided to use the summer to teach them about capitalism and The American Way!

Which means a lemonaid stand every damn day, all damn day, staffed full-time by one of the rugrats.

I can't go home or leave home without passing a sad-looking kid sweltering in the hot sun with a pitcher of (always) warm and (sometimes) watery or (often) sickeningly sweet lemonaid. I can't drink the stuff, it's horrible. But I keep buying it because I feel bad for the kids. And I always have to stop and talk for a few minutes, which would be okay, if it wasn't ten times a day.

It's gotten to the point where I'm like, "Oh, good, it's raining, I can go to the store."

I was thinking of giving them each a ten-spot if they promised to close their little extortion operation, whaddaya think?

I think a sucker is born everyday.

Give me half that and they'll never bother you again.

Teach them how a business really works:

Turn 'em in to the Health Dept.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by iceman
whaddaya think?

---

I think their dad has decided to spend the summer teaching his kids how to spot an easy mark.

Your wife is a buisness whiz, you have 2 kids.

Conservatives love the old invisible hand, competition & privatization causes better products /buisnesses. Have your kids set up a competing stand & crush em. Subsadize their first month if ya need to. Have em keep a cold beer on hand for you every time you come or go. make a big deal of giving them a $5 for this beer when you get it.


Or

have your son work the old "protection money" scam on them. If they dont pay up he has an older bigger pal crush their stand, if they do he bleeds em dry.

"no sales today, fuck you pay me!"

"sister sick? fuck you pay me"

d-day

Woodsy's plan... best so far!!

Sprite

So Ice and I walk down the same street every day. And every day we pass the same guy asking for spare change. Ice always digs a couple quarters out of his pocket for this guy - that probably banks more than both of us combined and tax-free to boot - while I pull my empty pockets out and shrug my shoulders. Ice has become an annuity as this routine repeats itself for weeks on end. One day Ice pulls his pockets out and shrugs his shoulders too.

Who is the bigger jerk?

Me? The one that hasn't been enabling the beggar.

Or Ice, the man's annuity?


Open a lemon-aid stand of your own and offer to close yours down for $10.





edit: Woodsy is quick and I am slow.

Good ideas all, Woodsy, but silly me, I paid for my kids to go to camp. So now I'm paying for my kids' summers, and his kids'.

There's three houses at the end of the street, one is an old guy who never goes anywhere, the other is a family with a summer house, they're never around. My wife leaves for work before they set up shop and returns afterwards. The only other people who come down here are landscapers and delivery people, and they ignore the kids.

I'm their only customer.

Hooh boy...brace yourself iceman...sounds like it's gonna be a looong summer!
;)
Sprite

Take them some real good lemonade, give them the recipe. Tell them when they make it exactly like that you'll buy lot's more.

go on all day drunk down @ the bar & come home mean

Quote:

---

Originally posted by iceman
I'm their only customer.

---

Ya know, that got me thinking...since I'm their only customer, why does it have to be crappy lemonaid all the time? I think I'm going to start placing orders.

"This latte is pretty good, Sam. Tomorrow morning I want a croissant with butter and an orange joice with ice cubes in it, got it?"

So basically, this wouldn't bother you (as much) if the lemonade was cold, of better quality and didn't involve mindless chitchat.


Bring them a box containing the following items:

1.) An ice cube tray with instructions taped to it.
2.) A package of Country Time lemonade.
3.) A roll of duct tape.

Your lemonade experience should improve by weeks' end.

Even better - just tell their Dad that drinking all the crappy sweet lemonade has made you diabetic - and that your lawyers are going to be in touch.

Life lesson number one for the iceman neighbor kids:

Your Dad's a jerk and you have little hope of not being turned into jerks yourself.
Good luck with that.


ice... give them $20 for a couple gallons of lemonade and call it good. They'll remember that forever.

Steps to success:

1) Add them to your ignore list.

2) Say that the lemonade is aggravating your high school sports industries.

3) Shoot the hostage.

You should be all set ;).

Ice you want me to come over and rough them up?

edit: damn.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by iceman
There's three houses at the end of the street, one is an old guy who never goes anywhere, the other is a family with a summer house, they're never around. My wife leaves for work before they set up shop and returns afterwards. The only other people who come down here are landscapers and delivery people, and they ignore the kids.

I'm their only customer.

---

I thought the old guy never leaves the house?



No, but seriously. Why don't you saunter over there with a bucket of ice, your favorite vodka and a lawn chair. Show them how to really make a proper refreshment. I would think their solicitation for your business would subside shortly thereafter..

just stop givin' em money. that will teach them location location location. A kid on our street had a stand up one day, wish it was up every weekend. Seriously high quality fresh squeezed stuff with about the proper bit of sugar in it for 50 cents. Awesome I tell you.

This is supposed to be a business lesson right? Well, stop paying. They need to learn that people won't buy shitty products. That's part of business. If they're smart, they'll ask you what's wrong and why don't you buy their lemonade anymore. Time to be truthful. Tell that that unless the lemonade gets better, you won't pay anymore. It's just a lemonade stand. Little Johnny isn't going to starve if he doesn't succeed. The way I look at it, you're doing them a disservice by buying their swill.

There was an excellent article in the Sacramento Bee yesterday about McDonalds. As it turns out, the bean counters at corporate had decided to save some pennies by cheapening the ingredients in the special sauce. Once again, short sided business thinking killed them. Their sales started declining on a per restaurant basis. The regime at the time didn't care. Their measure of success was merely how many new restaurants they could open every year. Well, it finally came to a breaking point. Everyone hated their food. So some old veterans were brought back in and immediately they realized the problem. People had fucked with the old recipes and customers were going elsewhere. Problem was, it had been so many year the original sauce recipe was lost. After a lot of digging, they found it from an old supplier and implemented it in their stores. Along with that they worked on bringing up the general quality of all the food. The last piece was to close some unsuccessful restaurants and slow ridiculous pace of new store opennings. Result: the company is posting record profits thanks to a huge increase in per restaurant sales. Gee, who would have guessed that people would flock to better quality? Duh!

On a personal note, I still won't eat there.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Arty50


There was an excellent article in the Sacramento Bee yesterday about McDonalds. As it turns out, the bean counters at corporate had decided to save some pennies by cheapening the ingredients in the special sauce. .

---

thousand island dressing?

mayonaise, relish, and ketchup ain't rocket science.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by iceman
mayonaise, relish, and ketchup ain't rocket science.

---

This is why you aren't Ray Kroc.


:p