Attachment 388678Quote:
Originally Posted by Salvelinusconfluentus
You lose.
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Attachment 388678Quote:
Originally Posted by Salvelinusconfluentus
You lose.
Put 'em to work at an early age! But work with them. I have some great memories of doing jobs around the house with my girls, talking to them, listening to music, etc. And I was happy to pay them, and teach them that work = money. I think that's better than using the old line "Well we buy your food and clothes" etc. (Like my parents did lol.)
Attachment 388682
What a hard life, looks like it's uphill in every direction.Quote:
Originally Posted by skaredshtles
Congrats Crock!
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Congrats Crock!
2nd one was easier from a mental terror standpoint for us (as you understand more about what won't kill them), but it's crazy to see how different they both are. Our first few years with two were rough as ours are 2 years apart, but once they hit 3 and 5, them playing together was magic.
Take your feet off your brother's head. That's what I remember saying. Or the time thing #2 broke thing #3's front baby teeth by throwing a frozen water bottle at him.
Our daughters have always got along great. Now that they're both in high school they are even closer. I feel lucky. Dealing with battling kids sounds tough. I grew up with 3 sibs but we were all 3 years apart and had little interaction and conflict.
These lil pups showed up today!! Never been so stoked about skis in my life!!
Attachment 389189
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Cross post from Sprockets, my 2nd/8 yrs old and told me on the ride that riding mountain bikes w me is one of her favorite things to do.
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Riding bikes with the kiddos is greathttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...5d9b8109ad.jpg
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I knew it...
The early research is decisive: Having kids is bad for quality of life. In one study, the psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues asked about 900 employed women to report, at the end of each day, every one of their activities and how happy they were when they did them. They recalled being with their children as less enjoyable than many other activities, such as watching TV, shopping, or preparing food. Other studies find that when a child is born, parents experience a decrease in happiness that doesn’t go away for a long time, in addition to a drop in marital satisfaction that doesn’t usually recover until the children leave the house. As the Harvard professor Dan Gilbert puts it, “The only symptom of empty nest syndrome is nonstop smiling.”
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...=pocket-newtab
Didn't read the link, but I would not consider a study of 900 employed women decisive for the entire population, more a reflection of how poorly the USA supports working moms(parents).
hmmmm.
I'm an outlier again.
Since when is anything really satisfying and worthwhile devoid of difficult phases?
Those questions and more are addressed in the story.
Interesting article, although I don't think the conclusion was having kids leads to unhappiness. More that the happiness a kid brings is harder to quantify. I also liked the discussion of memory distortion, i.e. when we think about our past experiences we tend to remember the peaks and forget the mundane awfulness in between. Anyone who enjoys ski mountaineering experiences this phenomenon.
You kids bring me joy... but you don't make me very happy.
:D
I guess I would have expected a more nuanced summary.
The wife unit and I don't have kids. We married later compared to our peer group, and she works with special needs kids all day in a high school; so we're good. But this week and next, we are housing her nephew while her brother's house gets a remodel. It's a small house with only one bath. He's in high school and mostly a good kid. And quiet, really quiet.
So while the adventure is going well and we're enjoying it, I have a newfound respect for the fathers and parents out there. It's also shown me that while parenthood can be immensely gratifying, I do feel good about our choice to not have children.
Kids bring a never-ending source of worry and anxiety and, frankly, extra work into your life, and I think that can be interpreted as "unhappiness," although I'm not sure it really is the same thing.
I think that kids definitely bring stress. And for many, stress can turn into unhappiness. I don't think it's generally the kids themselves, but more the constraints they put upon you and the person you had them with. I think the stress it brings is like any other. If there are cracks just under the surface, it's going to break them open and that can be hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by yeahman
I do think that having kids is particularly stressful on type A folks who like to have everything under control. Little kids are kind of like puppies in that you can pattern their behavior with consistent feedback, but they always have an element of chaos lurking deep down and the more you can learn to just ride along with it rather than fighting with it/blaming yourself for it, the easier things will be.
I'm not sure I'm happier having had a kid, but I was really happy before I had a kid and I'm pretty darn happy now. I don't get to ski or mountain bike as much, but I play a lot more silly fun sports, have fun with things like RC cars, and there definitely is a satisfaction when your kid gets something in life right.
Just remember, you got to be there when they get something in life wrong too. When they're little it's silly things like sticking a ritz cracker in their ear and then it gets infected. When they are teenagers it's things like screwing up on I-89 and finding out that Canadian customs won't let you turn around and aren't amused that you have no ID, no valid plates, and no registration. And US customs is even less amused. My wife and thing#3 weren't going to tell me. Heck, he didn't tell my wife, she found out through social media because his buddy, that he wasn't supposed to have in the car because he had gotten his license earlier that day, posted pics on social media of them in custody and the neighbor's mom saw it.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcusBrody
Attachment 391612
I do not think this can be stated enough.
Hey, I don't care how many attempts it takes, if my son eventually manages to emigrate to Canada, I will be fully supportive.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser3
But I plan to be there for him when he gets things wrong. I just won't add it to my "how my child added to my happiness" count. :-)
My four year old has to learn things the hard way.
Tonight it was “if I put my feet on the dinner table and push back in my chair I will fall over backwards and hurt myself”.
Half the time my two year old is like “fuck you, that’s not a carrot that’s a bumblebee.” Stubborn, stubborn kid.
Some of us enjoy the mundane awefulnessQuote:
Originally Posted by altasnob
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Well, my 23-year-old daughter is, (finally), actually pretty fun to be around.
Ending the teen years at ~18 started it, but her getting a good job made her an actual human.
I just like doing things with my kids. Watching them learn. Relationship with the wife has become more difficult since kids arrived on the scene, especially as I continued to do activities I enjoy (on a much reduced scale). But continuing to do those activities has led to the kids wanting to do those things. So now that they are growing, 6 for the girl and 9 for the boy, they want to do what I do. They want to ski, they want to fix and build things in the garage. They want to play soccer and hockey. You can be an observer or you can be a participant. I coach soccer and hockey. I play soccer in the backyard and knee hockey in the basement. The 9 year old is getting pretty good at ping pong. The 6 year old is now able to have basic rallies on the table. They want to do fun stuff with me constantly and the fun factor is way up, and I love watching them progress. Helping with school is tougher, but they ask me for help. I help the when they want me to, and it is nice to see things click. They are a major source of joy for me.
My wife has suffered as she puts everything into the kids and takes no time for herself. I think women have it tougher with the breastfeeding and for my wife, it has been very difficult to emerge from the major disruption that was 100% taking care of kids. She stopped working by choice for a few years. She poured all her time into the kids. She is working again, but takes no time for taking care of herself. Our relationship struggles as a result.
Life when kids arrive on the scene becomes much more complicated with many more competing needs within the family, some that maybe don't get fulfilled as much for someone involved.
Our teenage girls are pretty easy to deal with. No drama, and they get along well with each other. I do a lot of stuff with them, but they definitely talk more to my wife. She's very good at getting them to open up. I'm kind of on the periphery of most of these conversations, but I'm okay with that. You need to understand your role and not try to force things. It can be hard sometimes.
Kids may not always bring you happiness in the day to day so to speak but they do give you a sense of purpose. So there’s that.
That article really does depend on the child. My oldest was a nightmare from the git go and now at 35 is a pleasure to be around. In her teen years I had to tell her to chill the fuck out or she was going to camp for cunts in Utah (that conversation cooled her jets for awhile). If kids were all like her, nobody would want them. Her sister was the exact opposite and was always such a joy to be around. If we could of had 3 of her, I would of been so happy. Sure our marriage suffered because of the oldest one. Mom was an enabler and I had to be the hammer, it sucked. Good news is, we made it to empty nesters and now we smile and get along great (the wife and I). The kids are great now too.
If I had it all to do over, pretty sure I would run screaming away from my wife, got a vasectomy and had a lot more fun. YRMV.
It’s 1:30 in the morning and I’ve just poured my first drink of the night. A four finger pour of Eagle Rare with one large cube.
My son started Cub Scouts this year with almost every other boy from his first grade class at his school. It’s a very, very well run pack with a ton of involvement and really cool activities. I’m thrilled for him as he’s been totally enjoying it. On a personal note I’m happy too as I’m an Eagle Scout as well, so of course I’m hoping he gets some of the cool experiences I got out of Scouting.
Tonight we had an overnight campout at Zoo Atlanta. Cool behind the scenes stuff, night and thermal vision goggles to see some of the animals and feeding. The boys and parents all had a great time.
When we got back to the building where we had set up camp we got ready for bed while a bunch of the boys ran the last of their energy out. My son sat down before the others and said he had a stomach cramp and wanted to hit the sack. Cool, me too cause I know sleep could come at a premium and we pass out.
I wake up to a warm feeling washing over my bag and a funny noise. I sit up and reach over to the bag next to me and realize my son is sitting up. I ask if he’s ok and what’s going on. He doesn’t say anything. I feel my bag and it’s covered in hot goo. I look up at my boy just as he rockets a second hurl of mac n cheese, tomatoes, ham and whatever else he ate earlier today. Right. In. My. Face.
I scoop him up and try and contain the third blast to just our two sleeping bags as we’re about a whole 2 feet away from the next set of Scouts and parents. Luckily he’s a silent puker. Seeing this isn’t stopping anytime soon and someone is gonna get wise I grabbed him, my bag, his bag, and as much of the vomit covered mess as I could and made a beeline across the pitch black room and 30-40 sleeping boys and dads to the hallway door where I was able to get a look at the mess we were. I took him to the bathroom to try and clean up as best as I could. We reek.
We tracked down the overnight security guard who said he’d let us out of the locked facilities. Great I say, however we chose to park in the secure garage on the other side of the property (Grant Park isn’t known as the most personal-property friendly neighborhood in ATL) and I sure as shit wasn’t dragging him on the 1 mile walk across the public park at night to the garage. Dude could see the look in my eyes that we needed help and said, “let me track you down a golf cart”. Thankfully about 20 minutes later another zoo security guy shows up with a cart and a speedy lift across the land to our car.
How my boy had anything left in him I’ll never know as he’s skinny as a rail and there was enough vomit in our gear to drown a horse but damn if he didn’t give’r in that cart ride to the garage. All good man? Yeah, he replies as we get out.
Oh for fucks sake. The garage is locked down. Like every entrance. Great for cars, bad for sick kids and dads at 1am. Golf cart guy helps us track down the third party security company that runs the garage to open it up. We’ve moved to dry heaving now, or at least the water that he’s sipped in the past bit. We eventually get in the car and get on the (thankfully) 20 minute ride home, during which, I got to tell the story about how I ate an undercooked burger on a Scout ski trip when I was a year older than him in Northern Michigan and woke up puking my guts out, same as him, except my parents weren’t there, in fact they were 4 hours away, which made for a fun night until they came to get me - bottom line son, this is tradition.
So here I am, 2:20 now, still laundering puke-gear, on my 3rd bourbon and smiling. Why? Cause despite all that shit, my son said he had a blast tonight as I tucked him in his own bed, clean and warm, and that he thought it was hilarious that boys in our family puke on scout trips.
#dadstory
Attachment 391788
Awesome (for the bonding, not the puke).
He said his name was Ralph.
Cheech ain’t got nothin on my boy.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser3
Sorry man. Reminds me of a story my wife told me. She took our two younger kids (boys) to the Echo center in Burlington along with a very germaphobic friend and her kid. The friend spent the whole time running around after her boy sanitizing him and not letting him touch things. My wife and I are a lot more relaxed about that stuff. Anyway, they were on their way home and my youngest made a funny sound from the back seat. The friend turns around just in time to get multiple streams of projectile vomit in the face and mouth. Apparently my kid spent the whole time drinking water out of all of the exhibits that had water in them. Oops. He was fine. The friend not so much. The lesson is, be careful when you are checking out funny noises from the back seat. And lighten up on the germs. You never know when you are going to get a faceful of puke.Quote:
Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
Holy fuck Bmills I laughed my ass off reading that story.
Best I got is my kid puking on a plane. No where to grab and go, just had to sit there in the stink. I felt really bad for all the people sitting near us.
Reading about teens on this thread as my 15 y/o tells me her BF is coming over and I am supposed to pick him up/drop him off and feed him. Ok, no problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser3
Problem comes when he tries to get in her pants.
Hopefully you won't be there when that happens.Quote:
Originally Posted by 54-46
Are they his size?Quote:
Originally Posted by 54-46