ding ding ding.
Get something with 4wd, good tires, good clearance and good reliability. from the early 2000s or late 90s. Preferably with a beat to shit exterior and needing new upholstery inside. Now, go beat the shit out of it without a single pang of guilt. Feel free to park where you like (keys, birdshit, sap, baseballs, who cares?), and lean your skis/bike handlebars right up on the side panel.