Gapergenuity

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Originally Posted by Jukes

Well, what if you have this amazing piece of gapergenuity? A pole with built in flask!! Perfect for the chair ride right after your 4 martini lunch :D

http://patentpending.blogs.com/photo...pole_flask.JPG

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Leki Hot Shot Trigger Ski Poles:

You will be the hotshot when you are sitting on the lift and your friends start to wonder what you are doing twisting off the top of your pole handle. What your friends don't know is that you have a quick pick-me-up hiding in there to keep your warm. Built into the pole is a flask so all you have to do is twist off the handle and boom...instant party on the mountain...Just add schnapps and you will feel like you are on the top of Chamonix ready to go swooshing down the mountain. Oh and they look and work as ski poles as well so nobody will have to know what is hidden inside



http://bergsskishop.com/leki/ski-poles-p3080c2076.html

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Originally Posted by philippeR

Maybe are you a little slow ?

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And maybe you're a euro fag?

Is it really that fucking hard to say something, like "mind if I put the bar down".

Or just give a little warning. I wish I had a dollar for every time I got clocked in the head with the bar by some gaper who decides that it has to be down before our skis are off the snow. Let everyone get settled in and then provide some indication that the bar is coming down before you pull it. That's all we ask.

If you are so afraid of falling off a chairlift, what do you do when confronted with a bar stool?

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Originally Posted by doughboyshredder

And maybe you're a euro fag?

Is it really that fucking hard to say something, like "mind if I put the bar down".

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Wow, OTOH, you're fast. That post was barely 10 month old !

(And, ask Iceman. Eurofags got all the chicks...:D)

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Originally Posted by lemon boy

certainly triple scotch guarded jeans have to be near the top of the list.

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Don't forget the matching 3x scotch guarded starter jacket

Also at Copper back in October...

The tongue ripped out of my four year old lange comp boots a couple years ago and I have yet to sow it back in. Apparently, when my girlfriend picked my boots up at 5am in fort collins, the tongue fell out. I didn't realize it was missing until we got to the mountain. So, like anyone here would do, I'm sure; walked to the nearest shop..

Shop guy: "No, we need all our liners, we cant loan you anything.."

Me: "Alright, give me one of those greasy hand rags, scissors, and a roll of duct tape.."

Ten minutes later I had six layers of greasy white rag duct taped to my leg.

I rode all day, no problem. Gapergenuity.

Another recent incident at Winter Park:

At the base of jane I see an older/middle-aged woman struggling, boots fully unbuckled, pants tucked in, whacking at her boots with the basket end of her poles trying to get the six inches of portland-cement-esque snow from the bottom of her dalbellos and trying relentlessly to cram into her bindings...

Me: (politely) "Mam, theres a big chunk of snow on the bottom of your boot still. If you hit it with the handle side sometimes that works a little better."

Her: (scowls) "I've been skiing for 50 years..."

Me: "Oh." (I ski away)

Oh yes, at WP again last week (college week I think):

My buddy and I are riding the new parsenn bowl chair (whatever its called) and my friend asks the dude in bewteen us:

"Got any safety gear?"

the dude: "Nope, sorry man.."

Thirty seconds later, the dude pulls out the obligatory flask..

Me: "No thanks."

you should have just slipped the tips of you skis into your pole wrist straps and then placed the basket end of you pole under the backrest of the chair. Instant foot rest.

Tragic gapergenuity :
Pretend to ski the vallée Blanche on your own, dressed with a jean and a leather jacket.

"A Lithuanian skier has been missing since Friday afternoon after attempting a descent of the Vallée Blanche above Chamonix. An extensive search for the 26 year old man had found no trace.

The head of the high mountain police (PGHM) section in Chamonix said that the man, who was skiing alone, was poorly equipped for the descent and had neither the technical abilities nor the terrain knowledge to attempt such a route. In season thousands of skiers descend the Valley Blanche each day but it is heavily crevassed in places and should always be skied with someone proficient in crevasse rescue.

No one on the route saw any trace of the man – clothed in jeans and a leather jacket. The lift operators on the Aiguille du Midi had tried to dissuade the man from setting out on the run."

to add to the gaper ski rack list.....

i was coming home from copper today, and passed a sedan (probably a rental which is why the gapergenuity happened in the first place) with a ski rack on top that consisted of......

-two rolled up egg crates, duct taped to stay rolled
-an airplane ski bag complete with rollers and everything (probably had half his gear in there too)
-two straps run across the ceiling of the car and out both sides and over the top of the bag a la ghetto mattress moving style.

not to mention the guy was white knuckled at 10 and 2 while everyone's flying past him going the speed limit.

thought of this thread first thing

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Originally Posted by philippeR

Tragic No one on the route saw any trace of the man – clothed in jeans and a leather jacket. The lift operators on the Aiguille du Midi had tried to dissuade the man from setting out on the run."[/I]

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Well hopefully he applied that third coat of scotch guard. If he did he'll be fine.