work bathrooms = SLAY3D

I peered over the lip and could see my entry point. Peeled over the edge and dropped in hard. Tucked down and straightlined it to the bottom. Looking back, I could see my tracks from the top to the bottom. That bowl was slayed.

Wait, am I talking about porcelain or powder?

..And I'm spent.

bump for someones first day at work

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Originally Posted by skiingsamurai

Wow, what I just did to our bathroom here is unGodly. Ill recieve a week in hell for this one.
Our bathroom is a U shape, sinks and uinals on the unside walls, stalls on the outside. I took the right side since there were fewer people in there. After 10 minuntes of doing battle someone called over from the other side of the U, "can we get a courtesy flush? It smells like death over here." 25 min, 5 flushes, 1/2 a roll of toilet paper, and one guy almost gaging I had won. As im walking out ahead of someone else who just finished his routine, he tells his friend on his way in not to bother, its not humane to go in there for the next 2 hours.

I love pooping on government time
plus the toilet paper is o so soft

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That's one you're gonna want to tell the grandkids about. Well done.

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Originally Posted by G. Gordon Liddy

I have to tell somebody this... This really creeps me out. I thought for a while it was just pure chance, but I am now fully aware that my co-worker is a habitual poo-sniffer.

I work in a small office of 6 people. My job isn't the most thrilling in the world, although it pays the bills and I tend to enjoy it more often that I hate it. My morning schedule is fairly simple. Walk in the door, fire up the computer, make a pot of coffee, eat a bagel, drink said coffee, and finally proceed to the restroom for my most peaceful part of my morning. I fit into the category of the ‘relaxed crapper’. I often grab the Journal, or maybe just my cell phone for a few games of bubble breaker. Anyhow, I tend to take my time and enjoy my peace and quiet. But, being such a small office, everybody knows when, and how long you are in there, so it can be a bit odd if you spend too much time in there. Well, lately I’ve noticed that as soon as I leave the restroom, I hardly have time to get back to my office before a gal in office is quickly out of her seat and headed into the tiny room I just destroyed. At first I thought it just a chance, but now after 2 weeks of careful consideration, I think she may be addicted to the smell. Needless to say I’m a little freaked out by this pattern of events.

So, in closing, I would like to say this to poo-sniffer: “I can hardly stay in there for 5 minutes with that smell, WTF are you doing in there!!!!!!!”

That's it.

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Wow. I hadn't heard about this. Who is it?

It was a two day stand off. Even Saturday Night's drinking encounter with the Seattle Polish community couldn't sway its firm grasp. 3 cups of coffee down today, some left-over meatloaf, and my fury was unleashed. Iceberg'd it, double flushed and high-fived the stall wall on the way out. Chalk one up for the good guys.

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Originally Posted by pechelman

bump for someones first day at work

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The life of a first year associate dictates that while my office doesn't have a window, the shitter does. I wouldn't have called it my best effort, but it felt the thunder.

I've slayed the most salubrious bathroom in the ski world - the palace like facilities at the Snowbasin base lodge.

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Originally Posted by Rontele

The life of a first year associate dictates that while my office doesn't have a window, the shitter does. I wouldn't have called it my best effort, but it felt the thunder.

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wait-- the shitter has a window and your office doesn't. That's bad. Do you have a laptop? If so I totally suggest moving the office into the crapper.

i never reported back about slaying the scene at the neuschwanstein castle this past summer. the stall had a window, which was awesome. it was a hot summer day, and the breeze coming in through that window was heavenly. i actually took my shirt off to more completely enjoy the breeze. and, unlike most other shitters in the fatherland, i didn't have to pay anyone. ahh, memories.

This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners. I tried to hold out until he left--even though he engaged in some serious grunt and plop. I couldn't hold on, however, and unleashed in a fury of machine gun farting and topped it off with a KAPLUNK!

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Originally Posted by Rontele

This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners.

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Just watch the toe-tappin ;)

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Originally Posted by Rontele

This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners.

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Yea-well one time this summer I accidently opened the stall door on the chairman of the firm. He yelled "in here" as I did it. It was funny.

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Originally Posted by Tye 1on

Just watch the toe-tappin ;)

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That's a requirement fo the job.

Someone slayed the women's room so badly today that three hours later it still reeked and they actually had to close the bathroom. It was truly foul.

Yogurt (breakfast)
+ Guadalajara Espresso Burrito (lunch)
+ 1 Red Bull & Vodka
+ 5-6 PBR's
+ 1 porky treat (brat - dinner)

= next day swamp ass

Feels like my ass is running jihad on the bathroom. I feel sorry for anyone who goes in there within an hour of my last strike.

I miss furturama

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Originally Posted by wandering, not lost

Someone slayed the women's room so badly today that three hours later it still reeked and they actually had to close the bathroom. It was truly foul.

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That's disturbing. Do you know the culprit?

'twas me. Heh heh.

Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.

ya...well whoever keeps taking an f'ing dump in the sink at my school needs to be shot

O man, today was another olymic level shit.
I was in the engineering building here at school evacuating some beer and chineese food. My eyes were watering. Half way through the ordeal someone walked into the bathroom, sniffed, coughed, almost vomit and ran out screaming "holy shit!"
I like to think God was on my side with that one

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Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.

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our bathrooms here at work have the power flushes, so i just hit that sucka and explode. My issue is i cant enjoy a good bowel movement with people in stalls next to me who have no shame. And it seems everyone on my floor, has no shame. They just let it flow.

What is there to be ashamed of? Are you the only person in the world that has to shit? Nobody elses shit smells or has outrageous farts while taking a shit. It's the crapper, let it all hang out man and bring a friend.

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Originally Posted by Rontele

Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits.

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Can't you shit at home before work? Moderate your schedule, man!

what do you call it when the shit piles up out of the water?

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Originally Posted by RootSkier

Can't you shit at home before work? Moderate your schedule, man!

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I am incredibly regular. Yougurt smoothie + large cup of coffee = immediate bowel movement.

Tap, floating shits are either referred to as Hawaii or sunken ships.

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Originally Posted by Rontele

I am incredibly regular. Yougurt smoothie + large cup of coffee = immediate bowel movement.

Tap, floating shits are either referred to as Hawaii or sunken ships.

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this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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Originally Posted by Tap

this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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An aquatic butt snake

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Originally Posted by Tap

this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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An iceberg.

so i gave the work bathroom a proper slaying then headed into the break room for some water. on my way back to my office, a co-worker walked into the bathroom then beat a hasty retreat in horror.

i felt proud.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tap

this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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Easy. Crapatoa.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

Easy. Crapatoa.

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Lol
+1


I'm not much of a slayer, but the other day I was being really quiet so know one knew it was me in there. And as the anonymous pisser left, he turned out the lights, allowing me to finish my shit in complete and udder darkness.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

Easy. Crapatoa.

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This is some solid work, Rev.

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Originally Posted by Rontele

This is some solid work, Rev.

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It's gotta be pretty solid to pile up like that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tap

this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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I dont know about that one, but we had somebody leave a log on the front part of the toilet today (like on the bowl) - we called it "dry-docked".

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Originally Posted by TeleHoar

I'm not much of a slayer, but the other day I was being really quiet so know one knew it was me in there. And as the anonymous pisser left, he turned out the lights, allowing me to finish my shit in complete and udder darkness.

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It's not so much finishing the shit that gets to be a problem, it's finding your way to the light switch when you're done. Or better yet, when someone walks in as you're staggering around in the "Crouching Tiger" position, fending off urinals and automatic hand-dryers.

We've got a conference room that shares a wall with a one-hole shitter. I know there's very little sound protection because I've been in a meeting and heard a guy pissing next door, plain as if there was no wall. So, ...

My boss and two other management types are in the conference room interviewing a job applicant - luckily, too many beers and a couple bowls of spicy jambalaya last night set me up perfectly for the kill - Rocked the bowl with an explosive thunderclap followed by a rapid discharge of a solid/gaseous mixture.

If only the interview was being videoed ...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tap

this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.

so what's that called?

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impressive. you should have taken a picture and submitted to www.ratemypoo.com

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.co...7/06/favor.jpg