Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Unfortunately I missed out on the first hand experience, but this one is worth sharing...
This is at a small local hill that had a pretty good 25+ cms over night plus another 10-15 on the week. generally a great place to watch some pretty funny gaper antics (granted they are generally younger (10-16) kids)

In the day lodge...
gaper - "are you a ski patroler"
volunteer patrol (wearing the blue and yellow) - "yes"
g - "I lost both my skis and a boot on the hill (rentals:biggrin:), could you get a sled and get them for me"
vp - ":confused: how did you get down?"
g - "oh I walked"
vp - ":nonono2: where on the hill?"
g - "in the deep snow"
vp - "and you just left them?"
g - "I looked for a while but couldn't find them"
vp - "we'll see what we can do."

Quote:

---

I MEANT A TR OF THE LABIA LAPPIN. I NEED PICS OF THAT

---

There is no TR of the LL thank god. Besides, Mrs. GunPowder is bullseye With a shotgun, so I'm not wasting any LL (possibly my final LL) on anyone older then me.

At least it was a good call refraining from a TR of my Inbounds, Milquetoast, Mt. Snow, Gaper Outing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GunPowder

Besides, Mrs. GunPowder is bullseye With a shotgun,

---

NOW THAT'S FUCKIN FUNNY

yo -- I love these , and

didn't get very far ,,, and

wanted to drop-in and Go the Other way --





defy [ can't ] .


... just thinkin' , j

Guy skis up to a packed lift line at Vail on Saturday and starts yelling “ones” progressively louder for a solid 30 seconds until someone figures out what he is getting pissed off about and points him to the singles line.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by skiingsamurai

I had a good one at Jay this weekend.
Sick day, bluebird, 8" of fresh. Everything was great. I was skiing very well, my boots wernt hurting me.
Tweaked my knee around 2pm so I called it a day. On the way back to the parking lot, on some low angle groomer, a french canadian, quebec no doubt, snowboarder ran over my skis while we were still moving. He came to a stop on my ski tips. Keep in mind im still sliding at this point with this moron standing on my skis. I yell at the moron, and he turns to me and laughs. Without thinking I punched the asshat right in the side of the head. Knocked his ass right to the ground and kept going as he yelled at me in french.

Later i thought about it...I should have hit him harder

o yeah, he was wearing the burton money camo bogner. that might have added to the impuse to punch him

---

Another benifit of skiing.........you have poles........use them.......POLE CHECK.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gnu

Hell is Ann Arbor?

---

Well Duh!


That, and Hell is a town in Michigan believe it or not...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GoEhuge

Serving breakfast to some fucks from NY last year when I was at Alta: "Oh gosh, it looks terrible out there. Today is definatly a day to stay in and enjoy the hot tub. Lets hope the skiing gets better later in the week." 2 foot pow day... counldn't leave till this asshole had finished his 2 hour long breakfast.

---

I'd like to add that pretty much everything that came out of my psycho bar fighting roommate, Camel toe's mouth was a memorable gaper quote. Hey buddy! Missing the canyon crew A-team and passing desk time on this forum!
Let me know when you come up to Jackson.;)

ps. they were all from new york, and they were all fucks. cheers to nap shifts while working the breakfast buffet table

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AKbruin

I didn't mean to imply that people on race skis or midfats in powder are necessarily gapers. (Indeed, I started last season on five-year-old X-Screams.) I only meant to point out that these people aren't exactly in the best position to cast aspersions on my choice of fat/funny-shapped skis on a pow day.

---

Oh don't worry, I was just giving you a hard time. However, some talented skiers simply don't really care about the gear they use, it's weird. I, and I'm sure many other maggots, are definitely the type that are always eyeing the newest shiniest toys.

Today I heard a gaper say:

I might try Denali next year.

I'm a backcountry skier myself. Yeah, you see that rope line over there? I skied next to it... on the other side!! It was all fresh.

At Elk mtn in NEPA today.

"I hope the mountains out west are as big as this one."

I'v gotten this many times.

"You ski in the terrain park/half pipe? Dont you mean snowbording"

I get this at work from the younger folk.
"you ski, you should try snowboarding"

I've heard that many people don't like powder.

And get it right...the gapers ask where the deer turn into ELK, not MOOSE. :rolleyes2

my room mate and I were at Jay on a nice soft day earlier this season. I was going to duck into the trees for some morning pow. He decided that he was going to stick on the groomer, which was essentially all ice.
He claimed "powder is nice, but i like man made snow better, its softer and faster."
Me, "Sorry, could you repeat that. I couldnt hear what you said over the sound of me shitting my pants."

he also thinks mt snow is the best mountain in the east, including places like tucks

I no longer ski with him

At Jackson last March, was riding up the gondi with my buddy and 3 new friends. This was when it was about 15 at night and 40 during the day, so everything was bulletproof in the AM. The run under the top of the gondi had sheer ice in many places, and did not look inviting. Nevertheless, there were a couple people on the run, one of whom was a 50-something year old man, sliding headfirst, on his back, at all of about, 1mph. He is stiff as a board, making ZERO effort to stop himself, all the while yelling "LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!" Upon seeing this, the 5 of us proceed to cram around the vents and yell back at him (what would you have done?) He slowly continued to slide for about 50, nearly hitting 2 separate snowboarders who were sitting down, and a stand of trees. Priceless.


Riding up the chair at Tyrol Basin, WI during high school, there was a brother and sister on the chair in front of me, and their parents in front of them. The brother and sister are arguing and the parents are trying to mediate from in front. Finally, the Dad yells, "That's enough Brian! You've managed to ruin yet another vacation!!" When the kid whines "but Dad.." the Dad yells again, "That's enough!!", and turns around for the rest of the ride.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by depressed skier forced to be LA

and my own addition to the thread

"at what altitude does a deer become a moose?" really?!?!?!

Have heard this multiple (double digits) times

---

The version I've heard is "At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"

A few years back, living in Crested Butte, I'm working at a restaurant in the middle of July, and this lady comes in, sits down, points out the window at the snow on Paradise Divide and says in her best Texan twang, " Is that snow still cold?"

Quote:

---

Bogner stands for sports and quality, activity and self-confidence. Bogner stands for the very personal luxury of being able to live ones own free and active life,... and the courage to do so. Sports and high quality are both among today's megatrends and becoming more important all the time. Bonger Ski Wear - The balance of sports and luxury.

---

Quote:

---

Leave your slow-skiing friends in the wine bar and hit the mountain for some more turns in the Bogner Men's Rapid-T Ski Jacket...

---

...:confused:

edit - im still perflexed. high quality=megatrend? speechless...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hartzejr

The version I've heard is "At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"

---

yeah, I have heard that one too...crazy how elevation is able to make animals change species...i assume it is somewhere around tree line

Instructor at Bolton Valley tells about ten kids that the stop gate at the bullwheel is a wind sensor that shuts the lift down when it gets too windy. They were the type that ought to know what a stop gate is. Bullwheel riders, the whole lot of em.


Oh, and people thought my 94 waist sickbirds were cross-country skis

"Does that yellow bus really go to Amarillo??"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rontele

IIRC, > is a segue without a pause (i.e, Tweezer > Izabella from 12/7/97, Palace of Auburn Hills), -> is a segue with a slight pause (Tube -> Dayton Jam from 12/9/97 Nutter Center)

---

12/7/97 is great.

While working the front desk for Kirkwood lodging, had a lady come in around July & ask me
"Where do you put your moguls in the summertime"

I could not respond to this(due to an uncontrolable feeling of laughter that was welling up inside of me) and proceeded to walk into the back office & sent my manager out to answer her question.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Southeast Maggot

Not new: Some guy saying today "Those are some fat skis"

New: Doing so in reference to my Line Prophet 90's.

I love skiing in the SE :)

---

A few years back I heard that in reference to my old Skogen Sprang Pros (76 under foot) up at one of the Big Bear mtns.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by green mtns rider

12/7/97 is great.

---

12/9/97 is better...

Surprising numbers of people don't know where moguls come from, go ahead ask people:
Do you know how they make moguls?
"uhhh, are there hay bails under there or something?"

my friend hired snoller blades for a day as a joke... but in a touch of gaper irony he was seriously referring to them as "trick skis"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by telemike

ok - you asked for it....

Today while working at Vail Pass, I was talking to a guy on a really nice snowmobile all decked out in the latest and greatest snomo gear. He said he was surprised to see so many FS people working on a Monday. I reminded him that it was a holiday....

His response: "oh, yeah, I forgot. It's Nigger Day."

I told him that I, um, need to, um, go, um, do something, um, important....muttermuttermutter:mad:

He told me to have a happy nigger day as I walked away.

:fuckyou:

---

You should have said, "Sir, I am a nigger!" and kicked him in the balls.

"Follow me..."
Montana Skier



:fmicon:
;):):)

"its really powdery today, y'all."

that word makes me cringe.

I was riding up a lift at moonlight about a week ago, on a NICE powder day when I look down and see this park rat in one of those orange helly hanson survival suits sideslipping down a very fun, rolly powder covered run.

I ussually try not to be an asshole, but I had to heckle him, so I yelled "TURN DUMBASS"

His response: "Its not so easy on center mounted park skis".

Funny, cus with the money he spend on the survival suit he could have bought some powder skis and maybe a fucking clue.

I was in the collins line today at alta and heard some one behind me say "Sputoolas...don't those look funny." I turned around and realized he was trying to pronounce spatula on the back of my skis. I think I may just have to call them sputoolas from now on.

Some parents asking me about lessons/the hill the other day:

Me: Hey, what type of runs do you kids ski on?
Parents: Well, back home we ski only black diamonds and blue squares.
Me: Ok, where are you from?
Parents: We are from Indiana.
Me: Oh... Ok. If you look behind me, look at the run under the Gondola. Do you ski that type of stuff? (Bwana - an easier black)
Parents: Are you kidding us? That must be atleast a triple black...
Me: Actually, that is one of our easier black runs...
Parents: Oh, in that case we ski it.

End of the day:
Parents: So how did our kids do?
Another Instructor: Well, we moved them to level 4 (not parallel on green, no hockey stop).
Parents: What, our kids are level 8 instructors.
Another Instructor: Actually, to be level 8 they must be parallel and zip lining black bumps.
Parents: This is outrageous. Our kids are level 8, and should have been in a level 8 class. We demand a full refund.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TeleHoar

"Follow me..."
Montana Skier



:fmicon:
;):):)

---

BWAHAHAHAH!!!

at Mt. Snow, VT over the weekend.
guy standing next to me at the lift line talking to his friend:


guy1: man, my ski boots seem to feel really loose after that run, should i buckle them tighter?
friend: oh yeah, that happens some times.
guy1: yeah, what do i do to fix it?
friend: well....whats yer din setting?
guy1: whats that?
friend: i heard if you have a high din, you should buckle the boot tighter.

:rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TeleHoar

"Follow me..."
Montana Skier



:fmicon:
;):):)

---

http://vader.joemonster.org/zzu/99869dd6pwned-48495.jpg

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hafilax

Irregardless is a bastard child of irrespective and regardless and because of idiots around the world has been added to the dictionary.

---

:eek:WHAT?!?!?

My friend and I see a tourist in his socks walking down the A Lodge covered stairs that have tons of ice and snow on them:
Me: "Wow that looks cold"
Tourist: "Yea, I forgot my boots" (His ski boots were slung over his shoulder)

Every interlodge morning in the GMD dining room:
"Is interlodge over yet?" when there are a 100 people walking around the parking lot. Or they freak out when they find out about interlodge, "You mean we're in lockdown!?"

A lady by the A Lodge pointing to a small cliff across the road:
"I saw some snowboarders jumping into that powder snow up there. One of them was even carrying a shovel on his backpack to dig himself out of the snow when he landed."

In general the terms "powder snow" and "extreme skiiers" make me crack up. Tourists always ask, "Are you one of those extreme skiiers?"

And I saw a dude yesterday with his beater cords (pow cords); one end firmly tied around his knees and the other end securely attached to his bindings. All I could think was that if he fell his skis would beat him to death.

It's not a quote but I saw these bad boys locked up this weekend
from:http://www.antongliders.com/
http://tetongravity.com/forums/attac...1&d=1202341484

http://tetongravity.com/forums/attac...1&d=1202341484

it gets better!

I heard this on Saturday at Squaw (to the best of my memory), and managed to get a crappy pic with my phone.

Guy on SnoBlades: "I'm SO stoked I bought the fat ones or I'd sink in all this pow"
Guy on Skis: "Dude, I'm telling you you should ditch the poles its way better"
Guy on SnoBlades: "I feel better in the gnar gnar with them"

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b16/chattin/5-3.jpg

I've never actually heard anyone say "Gnar gnar" and mean it.

okbye