a buddy, right. :the_fingeQuote:
Originally Posted by Pow4Brains
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a buddy, right. :the_fingeQuote:
Originally Posted by Pow4Brains
hahaahahaaa...............I REALLY wish I could claim this one!Quote:
Originally Posted by fez
The coffee is working it's magic today.
BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
I finally read it, Pow4brains...and after a week of pure hell here in the cube...it was just what I needed to read. :D
That there was one well-written pants-crapping anecdote! I'm inspired to write some of these too, but alas... since I am a girl, something like that would never happen to me. (but damn that is funny...hee hee hee!)
Sprite
i played golf at the haymaker course in steamboat a couple weeks ago and had the pleasure of using a bathroom unlike anything i have seen before. (i don't get out much) ;)
i'm pretty sure there were two shitter stalls, so i head to the larger back stall to do the molson mudslide. didn't notice at first, but as soon as i sat down and looked forward i saw the greatest thing ever. a bathroom sink/cleaning station right there inside the stall. fuckin brilliant!
it tops snowbasin shitters for sure. what a clubhouse...
3....2....1....Dropping!!
...the Duece that is.
Just heard coming from the stall next to mine:
"Huh...
Unhhhhh...
Huhhhhhhh.....unnnnnHHHHUUUUUUUNNNNHHHHH........ THHHBBBBRRRAAAAAPPPPPTHHHHHHHBBBBBBFFFFFFTTTTHHHHPPPPPSSSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHHHHH....
Huhhhh....
squeeeeek....
Harrrrr......
..
..
Pbbbbththbbbbwwwww....
..
..
...Oh yeah."
I laughed out loud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
I was at my last job and the customers bathroom was close to our offices and after a 10 minute watercooler BS session, I went to go take a whiz. That bathroom had one urinal and one shitter, and someone was dropping deuce in the stall.
I'm doing my biz and a co-worker walks in, sees the situation and decides to chit-chat and wait for me to get done. Feeling a little odd, I finish up and wash my hands and the co-worker saddles up to the pissah.
The customer in the stall blows out a 20 second spackle-shat-fart that I thought would never end. This was a truely remarkable slaying in process, sounding like a lawnmower with a bad miss.
Laughing my ass off, my co-worker looked over at me and was laughing so hard he almost pisses on his shoes.
Thank you to whoever stocks the spacious handicap stall with the days newspaper. You make my daily slaying that much more enjoyable and informative. No thank you to the coworker that stood nearby after finshing at the urinal and proceeds to converse with me and watch me piss. Talking is allready a violation, but if you can not resist please move along to the sink to continue the blabbering.
I am here to report that school bathrooms too can be slay3d.
if we're going to get into details, it should be 5|4`/3|)!!!!1111!!11!!one!! lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Steven S. Dallas
Oh god, memories of the drunken slaying of the dorm bathrooms at early am hours freshman year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele
The worst was when I passed out on the shitter, and since we had shower curtians instead of actualy stall doors, only woke up when I felt myself falling forward. Luckily I had finished by that point. I guess thats one time the bathroom slayed me.
http://forum.ski.com.au/ultimate/graemlins/laugh.gif http://forum.ski.com.au/ultimate/graemlins/laugh.gif http://forum.ski.com.au/ultimate/graemlins/laugh.gif http://forum.ski.com.au/ultimate/graemlins/laugh.gif http://forum.ski.com.au/ultimate/graemlins/laugh.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Heh. Last month while recruiting, I was hungover, shitting in the hotel lobby bathroom, and the stench was so bad it made me puke up my breakfast all over the floor next to the toilet. Just kinda had to lean over and let er rip.
I pity the cleaning folk.
Damn! Thats fifty hobo power right there!Quote:
Originally Posted by P_McPoser
I have tears rolling out of my eyes!!! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Crew practice + shitty beer the night before + jalapeno covered hoagie = shit that burns on the way out.
I think I need to eat bran to better my shitting experience.
That is gold. Relayed in factual detail like a true reporter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Not sure how I missed this thread until now, but I am rolling.
A friend of mine once told me about how during his VERY FIRST visit to his girlfriend's (now wife) parents' house he plugged up the basement toilet. It took him and his future father-in-law two hours to unclog it and clean the bathroom floor. At the end of the ordeal, his future FIL said to him, flatly, "Next time you oughtta chew your food a little better."
You oughta chew your food better! LMAO...like, how do you even respond to that!
Bwa!
Sprite
Just stumbled onto this one, great daytime reading.
The night before this incident I had been drinking PBR's for a dollar a pop and multiple shots of Beam and Screaming Nazi's. We had Greek for dinner.
The next day there was a concert we all went to, this is in South Carolina around the middle of July and the humidity is peeling paint. I am pretty badly hungover, one of the ones where you feel like you have an oily sheen all over your body and your hands quiver. Already drank 2 gatorades.
I start to feel the beginnings of the bubble gut and stand in line for the porta potty. Feeling really queezy (sp) I finally get in and mount the hole. A solid 4 inch plug comes out to my relief. Then the spastic "hot water" stream, complete with burning from jalapeno poppers. This is the phenomenon that creates a high mark. I think I need to get a skin graft for my asshole at this point, the smoldering is intense. There is a lot of cramping, and my face is covered in sweat. Then the smell hit me and tripped a wave of nausea, a mix between roofing tar and indian food.
I fight it, I spit between my legs, and then I hurl a mighty stream of vomit onto the door in front of me that turns right around and splashes me on the chest and face. I do this twice, I can't control it.
The puking subsides, and then I realize I picked a stall where someone pissed on the roll of toilet paper. I am feeling bad, but not that bad. I am wearing flip flops, so socks are out. T-shirt is covered in puke, but somehow poo seems to be worse and I am trying in vain to hold onto a shred of dignity.
I use the wadded up plastic shopping bag in the corner which further inflames an already painful poop chute. Lucky for me no one was waiting when I emerged, I am sure the noise was enough to redirect people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCidWill
Bwaahaaa - brings back bad memories
^^^^^^Hahahahaaaa. Almost a voop (vomit and poop at the same time)!
The puking subsides, and then I realize I picked a stall where someone pissed on the roll of toilet paper. I am feeling bad, but not that bad. I am wearing flip flops, so socks are out. T-shirt is covered in puke, but somehow poo seems to be worse and I am trying in vain to hold onto a shred of dignity.
QUOTE]
WOW, that is great. :)
1988 Dead show at Buckeye Lake outside of Columbus Ohio, we stop at a G-station to take a leak after driving and drinking for 2hours. No inside restroom but a port-a-potty outside. No problemo, walk in and this pile of shit is piled ABOVE the top of the seat. I mean a perfect mound of poop with no TP visible.
That was about the best slaying I have witnessed and I cleaned the bathrooms of a very popular bar every day for about 5 years seeing some of the nastiest stuff.
This thread is useless without audio.
BTW - is the quadruple flush one of praise or concern?
ElCid...you sure have a way with words! :D
A quadruple flush means you should have run for your life after the 2nd flush.
Sprite