Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

FZ wisdom:
The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn't mean they are dumber than you.

Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.

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Originally Posted by Touring_Sedan

I'm sure you did. But read the room, there's a dad a few pages back at the end of his wits. Do you think he's going to wade through all this garbage for a little support? There's 4K other threads to cunt up.

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Consider yourself lucky!

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Originally Posted by AK47bp

Daughter had a friend sleep over the other night. The girls asks me where our cameras are. Apparently a lot of people have cameras in the house, outside the house, and doorbell cameras.

Crazy creepy shit. Why do you need cameras inside your house? My buddy has them and I think it’s stupid.

Kids can’t get away with shit. Once these kids go to college they’re gonna die.

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People are crazy now. I met another dad on a playdate for our kids who seemed appaled at my lack of concern for my kid when he faceplanted in the playground woodchips (he got up and said "go boom!", didnt brush himself off and continued toddling on at unsafe speed), and also said something along the lines of "we grew up just having to be home when the streetlights came on but things are different these days and you just cant do that anymore". I just dont understand why not? Statistically its safer now... and we intentionally bought in a safe neighborhood.

Its a fine line. I dont want my kid growing up a goody twoshoes who is terrified of authority, rules and risk... but also going too far to the other side of the spectrum is way worse. Its going to be a terrifyingly fine line to tread between teaching him freedom and responsibility, but also trying to keep him out of serious trouble that he can get into.

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Originally Posted by Touring_Sedan

I was really enjoying this thread as a resource for those of us who are trying to figure out this parenting thing. Why the fuck do you stale old turds insist on fucking up every thread by debating shitty music, posting half assed lyrics, bad dad jokes and screwed up hyperlinks. Jesus H. Christ, it gets old.

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Well, I don't know, but I've been told
You'll never die when you'll never grow old
-Modest Mouse

When my boy was 2ish I'd drive him around playing music to get him to fall asleep and he listened to a considerable amount of Modest Mouse, he always asked for the song "night on the sun." Something soothing about him falling to sleep while singing "freeze your blood and stab it into me."

He has his own unique music tastes (he did not pick up tropical house from me) but his playlists are usually have a good bit of overlap with stuff I like too.

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Originally Posted by Mofro261

Well, I don't know, but I've been told
You'll never die when you'll never grow old
-Modest Mouse

When my boy was 2ish I'd drive him around playing music to get him to fall asleep and he listened to a considerable amount of Modest Mouse, he always asked for the song "night on the sun." Something soothing about him falling to sleep while singing "freeze your blood and stab it into me."

He has his own unique music tastes (he did not pick up tropical house from me) but his playlists are usually have a good bit of overlap with stuff I like too.

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See, y'all can contribute some decent music related content without it turning into a dark side of the self flagellating moon circlejerk. On that note, if anyone wants, I have a Dropbox folder with 47 cd's worth of Rock / Alternative Lullabys, someone gifted them to us when our first was born. PM me for a link.

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Originally Posted by yeahman

My wife and daughters just returned from Denver where they saw the first of two sold out shows at the football stadium. 73,000 people at the show. Taylor Swift played for 3.5 hours, everything from her pop hits to just her and her guitar and piano. Best show she's ever seen, wife said. "Life changing. Worth every penny." She's got wide ranging tastes and is not some clueless tween.

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what about high energy Taylor Swift stuff? does that exist nowadays? (asking for a tween) she somehow knows its old lady stuff when I play it.

https://youtu.be/ShPrDSMVsD0
https://youtu.be/5COHP3KZuq4

Maby Horsegirl? or is that just young retro band.
https://youtu.be/dBuOJF_rX40
Or I’m just selfishly wishing I can expose female bands to daughter that I also wouldn’t mind listing to.

I went to my daughter's Musical this weekend. Twice. In a 36 degrees ( that's about 236.7 thousand former imperial colony degrees) elementary school gym. Just to see her Sing for 5min and dance around as a Star.

And I endured terrible Songs and other people's kids' singing. Not to mention the artrocious " rhythm kids" ( basically those kids who are too bad at singing or playing anything just hammering on cardboard Boxes totally offbeat and out of sync ).

I HAVE EARNED MY RIGHT TO BE OFF TOPIC! [emoji3]

And only the little boy likes loud Rock Music in the car. The oldest only wants " childrens songs".
Edit: I wish my girl liked riot girls

https://youtu.be/5t1Q3O8dNbM

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Originally Posted by Meconium

what about high energy Taylor Swift stuff? does that exist nowadays?

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ask Bunion :fm:

Hi Bunion, do you have any recommendations?

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Originally Posted by subtle plague

I went to my daughter's Musical this weekend. Twice. In a 36 degrees ( that's about 236.7 thousand former imperial colony degrees) elementary school gym. Just to see her Sing for 5min and dance around as a Star.

And I endured terrible Songs and other people's kids' singing. Not to mention the artrocious " rhythm kids" ( basically those kids who are too bad at singing or playing anything just hammering on cardboard Boxes totally offbeat and out of sync ).

I HAVE EARNED MY RIGHT TO BE OFF TOPIC! [emoji3]

And only the little boy likes loud Rock Music in the car. The oldest only wants " childrens songs".
Edit: I wish my girl liked riot girls

https://youtu.be/5t1Q3O8dNbM

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wait till they they join a swim team and you have to sit in a sweltering pool on the best pow day of the year and you'll have tears streaming down your face for HOURS between heats from the misery AND chlorine in the air.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

wait till they they join a swim team and you have to sit in a sweltering pool on the best pow day of the year and you'll have tears streaming down your face for HOURS between heats from the misery AND chlorine in the air.

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I might have dodged that bullet.

Her first freeride turns. [emoji3]

Attachment 465282

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

wait till they they join a swim team and you have to sit in a sweltering pool on the best pow day of the year and you'll have tears streaming down your face for HOURS between heats from the misery AND chlorine in the air.

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Haha holy shit that described my friend’s life. No way would I want my kid to swim competitively. Super early mornings, long days sitting around and being inside. F that.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

wait till they they join a swim team and you have to sit in a sweltering pool on the best pow day of the year and you'll have tears streaming down your face for HOURS between heats from the misery AND chlorine in the air.

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Holy shit yes. I had two kids swim.

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Originally Posted by californiagrown

<snip> Its going to be a terrifyingly fine line to tread between teaching him freedom and responsibility, but also trying to keep him out of serious trouble that he can get into.

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lates...thod_b_3588031

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

wait till they they join a swim team and you have to sit in a sweltering pool on the best pow day of the year and you'll have tears streaming down your face for HOURS between heats from the misery AND chlorine in the air.

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Wait till the police call you because your son was just arrested stealing watermelons from the Whole Foods over at Centennial Park. I'm just about at my wit's end right now. I blame some of the gangsta music he listens to. He's a big A$AP Rocky fan and I'm always asking him to turn that noise down. The dog is practically deaf riding around in the car with that boom boom stuff blasting. And the language...bitch this, bitch that, and some other stuff I can't even bring myself to type here. You should enjoy your dances and swim club events, because it could be worse. A lot worse.

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Originally Posted by digitaldeaths mom

Wait till the police call you because your son was just arrested stealing watermelons from the Whole Foods over at Centennial Park. I'm just about at my wit's end right now. I blame some of the gangsta music he listens to. He's a big A$AP Rocky fan and I'm always asking him to turn that noise down. The dog is practically deaf riding around in the car with that boom boom stuff blasting. And the language...bitch this, bitch that, and some other stuff I can't even bring myself to type here. You should enjoy your dances and swim club events, because it could be worse. A lot worse.

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Yeah but his phone is filled with every number of your Wednesday night bunco group and a fine collection of slightly stretched out Amazon choice women's performance underwear under his twin size mattress in the basement. Your darling Andrew is serving a very important public service , it's like being a head start teacher but for the other end of the age group and being gender specific. It's not every day a woman can say they're being attended to by the owner of an AMG. Lighten up mom and next time you're at Costco stocking up genuine Hidden Valley ranch dressing get him a couple cases of "ribbed for pleasure" condoms. It's for a good cause, this way all the ladies will be super relaxed making them easy marks for you to take their money on Bunco night.

It's a breath of fresh air around here with DD and his mom gracing us with their presence.

The girl child is the one that uses “bitch” the most, and it’s usually directed at me.

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Originally Posted by zion zig zag

Holy shit yes. I had two kids swim.

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We only did summer swim team. It took up a bunch of summer and involved standing in the rain some evenings, however only one team had an indoor venue and we only went there once a summer. What my wife and I lament is now that the kids are all through HS, the new city pool is very close to our house. Many years too late. It would have been nice 5 through 20 years ago. It's a selling point though when we move and downsize.

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Originally Posted by bagtagley

The girl child is the one that uses “bitch” the most, and it’s usually directed at me.

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Lulz.

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Originally Posted by Meconium

Hi Bunion, do you have any recommendations?

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Nope, fortunately I cannot speak meaningfully about the more upbeat portions of the Taylor Smith catalogue. Shake it up was catchy.https://youtu.be/eq-yoorI7lo

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Originally Posted by Touring_Sedan View Post
I was really enjoying this thread as a resource for those of us who are trying to figure out this parenting thing. Why the fuck do you stale old turds insist on fucking up every thread by debating shitty music, posting half assed lyrics, bad dad jokes and screwed up hyperlinks. Jesus H. Christ, it gets old.

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Ooooh drama.

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

FZ wisdom:
The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn't mean they are dumber than you.

Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.

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Yep, we talk through the why a lot and my son complains about all my lectures, but I think they'll end up ok if they can listen for more than 5 seconds. Also - letting them be bored. I see so many parents immediately flipping on the phone or tablet then hearing them whine about behavioral issues because they can't just give their kids a timeout or ignore their whining long enough for them to go find some creative play.

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Originally Posted by schuss

Also - letting them be bored. I see so many parents immediately flipping on the phone or tablet then hearing them whine about behavioral issues because they can't just give their kids a timeout or ignore their whining long enough for them to go find some creative play.

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My wife struggles with this as she truly has trouble functioning when junior is whining and fussing, though she doesnt rely on screentime. Junior knows that i am relatively impervious to his whining and fussing if its just because he is bored so he is generally much better behaved around me, but he sure does fall apart into a needy little mommas boy around his mother... which is just encouraged by her immediate reaction to the whining and showering him with attention. It can get frustrating when he is throwing a fit crying for mommy while i try to distract him and my wife keeps answering his cries from the other room because she feels bad.

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Originally Posted by bio-smear

I'm curious how others squelch the Taylor Swift?

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Wait for it....
https://youtu.be/-aLYvZ5sX28



Mine is 7, and hasn't gotten into Taylor swift too much yet, but she went through a JoJo Siwa phase and goddamn that shit fuckin sucks.

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Originally Posted by basinbeater

Wait for it....
https://youtu.be/-aLYvZ5sX28

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I'm pretty self satsified with my music taste but I've gone headlong into Taylor this week, wife has too. Some of it is just too good. Perfectly crafted and produced. You're hearing this from a guy whose last concert was Skinny Puppy back in May.

Anyway, dear diary:

Since I last wrote, I have had tender loving moments with my daughters that have canceled out the soul crushing ones from the weekend. I have saved my 5 year old from drowning in our lake and dunked my super expensive Honda key fob. I have witnessed the joy and borderline fear of my 7 years old reeling in a huge large mouth bass from our dock. And I have discovered a new cherished musical talent that has been under my nose for years. We are a family of Swifties now. May as well have been Jesus.

Not really doing my best as a dad, probably 80%. Could try harder I guess but I'm so tired all the time that I get selfish. As for musical taste, I have hope. I have been a musician most of my life and these girls are in lessons and they rotate around the piano and various guitars and bass and synths in the house. My hope is that in the natural scrutiny of music that occurs when you play, the shit will shake out in the wash. Then again maybe they will contribute to the catalog of bad pop music in this world someday. Maybe they'll write some hits and we will be going to Aspen in our private jet to park between Taylor and Al Jourgensen. I just don't know.