Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Riding up the chairlift at loveland this past weekend, some guy asks about my M1's:

guy: "are those square tips for powder?"

Me: "no the company just does that to be unique"

guy: "I'm gonna have to try one of those new fat parabolic skis. I hear they're pretty fun"

I had someone ask me if we sell reverse camber wax the other day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thedexterreutecki

Call this guy at 801-949-5115 and ask for his best gaper quotes he has a million from working at a ski resort on I-70

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I'm sure he'll be thrilled to learn you just published his phone number on the internet and told 15,000 people to call him. :nonono2:

Looking at TDR this isn't the first time he's done it.

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

Hall of famer there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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That's a win right there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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DING DING DING

And we have a winner!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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Hands down the best lift story/gaper quote i've heard...possibly ever.

Just out of curiosity Marshal, what skis were you on?

I heard and saw countless idiotic things last year as a lifty, the best though was when 3 of my supervisors and an inspector from the Tramway safety board were riding up the lift to inspect my lift and right as the are about to get off some guy on the chair in front of them falls off and gets hit in the head by the chair. I couldn't fucking believe it as nobody prior that year fell in such a way that the chair would actually hit their head. so I hit a stop, get out of my shack to see if the guy is alright and he turns out to be a total eurotrash asshole , I try to help him up and he kind of pushes me away. All of this is happening as my Boss, 2 of my leads and a Colorado state inspector are sitting on the chair 15 feet away. I ask him if he is ok about 10 times and he says yes so I let him go and start the lift back up. Needless to say it was fairly uncomfortable when all 4 got off the lift.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by njfreeskier

Just out of curiosity Marshal, what skis were you on?

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wailer 105s

yup marshal takes it that's awesome

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stash searcher

This last week, I was very excited to get an email from our patrol director, with an update from our last patrol meeting, which I missed, due to a quick ski trip elsewhere. The last topic listed was that the patrol had decided to buy a few pairs of fat skis for "training". Keep in mind our ski area brings you back in time anywhere from 2 to 25 years. It's a great place with great terrain, but small. I got super excited, because I spend hours thinking about fat skis anyways. I immediately offered up my services as "fat ski researcher", and was interested when I got a reply that it had already been taken care of.
When I got to the hill this weekend, I finally found the guy who had appointed himself "fat ski purchaser" (not our patrol director-who skis havocs, but he's an older gentleman, very nice. He skis on 5 year old X Screams, like about 5 other people on the patrol). I excitedly asked him what he was getting for our "fat ski" training.
He replied "We got a great deal on a pair of Rossi Bandit B83's. They're mounting up rental bindings on them so they'll be easier to change around for everyone. We're thinking about getting a pair of shorter ones for the girls, so it'll be easier for them."
He then looks down at my pontoons and asks "what's the width on those?"
me "120".
him "oh..."

I think he was maybe a little confused.

(I know people here get a little confused by the 'toons, but they'll get used to it... also, thank you skinnyskiers for leaving the woods for me! there's a foot and a half in there, barely tracked, within mere feet of every run. got all i could this weekend, and it'll be unchanged next weekend, unless we get more snow... )

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Hey J* (I think). I witnessed this sad series of events from start to finish. Those skis have yet to be skied more than twice (wrong bindings for me -- too many attachment points, especially in the heel area).

My favorite was the lady and her umpteen zillion offspring who thought it wise to wander out onto an active downhill racecourse last year. I caught her just before they ducked under the big "warning, downhill race in progress sign" and had to politely and gracefully stand there and listen to her explain to her kids that patrollers do this stuff because we are assholes for 30 minutes while racers were whipping by in a blur every couple of minutes. The real kicker was when she told them I was doing this because "he is stupid and probably can't even read" (I am a Ph.D. student studying analytical biochemistry). Wonderful gal.

What sort of newbie wannabe gaper JONG skis the WROD in october?

Apparently, Seth Morrison.

lol...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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This is top 5 in the thread for sure.

^^^^^That's pretty funny, though it would of been totally lost on the G.O.C. since he probably doesn't know Seth Morrison from Van Morrsion.

Stupid (probably average smarts for the US) woman: I can't believe the insurance company, I had a $50,000 policy but when I totaled my car they told me it was only worth $2000 so that's all I got. I can't believe they don't tell you things like that, what a ripoff.

Yesterday I saw a woman have a 10 minute argument with her daughter over the house intercom. "Clean your room"-------"NO, I Don't Have To!"----etc for 10 mins. Finally, the mom says"Do I Have To Come Up There!!??" then turns to me and says ........

"It makes me so mad that she knows I won't".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jay P

... Needless to say it was fairly uncomfortable when all 4 got off the lift.

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Why? Seems like you did what you were supposed to do.

Just read this on backcountry.com's page for the Ortovox S1 avy transceiver:

Linda asks:

"All these avalanche beacons shown here are for finding people. What do you call the units that send the signal when someone is trapped by an avalanche?"

I love it, I think I've seen a couple versions of this same person in lift line to ski Slushman's this past year.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bullet

Why? Seems like you did what you were supposed to do.

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Ditto. If people didn't fall he would be out of a job.




Anyways, my neighbors just moved to sparks fresh from hamburg, germany.
Up in the vistas, we have a great view of the meadows then boom there's the eastern slope of the sierra.
The morning of the first storm that hit the mountains, I told the wife that it snowed in the mountains as I motioned towards mt rose, gleaming white with about a foot of fresh.
She said "that's snow!"
I guess they are skiers, just never lived by mountains.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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I just LOL'ed for a few minutes...
Damn I would consider myself lucky to be able to see Seth Morrison ski in person

Quote:

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Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

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Marsh, that didn't just make my day, but the week.

Seth, FTW. And he never even knew...

This summer, some friends and I ended up meeting JJ Thomas while tubing boulder creek, and we hung out with him a few different times. He was pretty humble so none of us figured out who he was... when I asked him where he worked, he said he pretty much just hung around and snowboarded. I ripped on him behind his back, saying how he was probably just some spoiled trust fund park rat from breck.

At one point, I asked if he had met any famous/pro riders...