Atleast he's gone now. However, his rediculous snow reports and various business dealings always gave us something to make fun of...Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiki
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Atleast he's gone now. However, his rediculous snow reports and various business dealings always gave us something to make fun of...Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiki
Here's another story that I've posted up here before... not mine, but my old boss'es from when I used to work at Mammoth...
During a very, very windy day in which a number of lifts were closed due to the wind, one tourist was perturbed enough to ask my boss about it. I don't know exactly what she (the tourist) was thinking... Maybe the ski company could build some baffles around the runs or something. However, it came out to my boss as "Can't you guys do anything about the wind?"
Dumbfounded, my boss said he responded with a deadpan "Sorry, ma'am, but my connection with God is a little short today."
There was a million other dumb questions asked by the tourists... some typical ones were:
"Where's the [_insert_name_here_] chairlift?" Mind you, most of them asked that question while in the cue line for [_insert_name_here_].
I heard this on an empty weekday just after a solid 2+ foot dump: "So... where's the good snow today?"
This one wasn't stupid, but just sort of funny: One chair that I was working had a very cute girl on our crew. She was working at the bottom, and I rotated out with her so she could work the top or something. Some guy came up to me and asked where the cute girl went. After I explained that she's not working at the bottom anymore, he jokingly ranted about not having her around or something. My response to him was something like "well, Mammoth as a company believes in equal opportunities. You had your time, but the ladies could use some eye candy now." I had to pat myself on the back for that line.
wanker: There's skiing in Japan?
me: nope. not a fucking flake. Japan's a complete waste of your fucking time. Dont ever come wanker.
Jap: Can you ski on Japanese snow? Isnt it different from American snow?
me: Yup, its sooo different and sooo difficult :rolleyes: :fuckyou:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacomaLuv
One night a couple years ago one of my old roommates - a floor broker - had some buddies over. There was a copy of Powder - the one with the red letters and almost totally white cover.
One guy goes - who's is that?
Roommate - that's his.
Goon floor broker: dude, you like to party, huh?
...and then I dropped in parallel
Drunk girl after Squatch, Max, Nick and I are done skiing, and after talking about it to the remaining ten people at the table. Thought the shots of everclear were impresive.
You can't go skiing.
oh yeah, that was pretty funny,
Drunk Chick: huh, its not open though...?
Max: Well the forest service tends not to close...
Drunk Chick: But there are not lifts, you cant ski this time of year
Max: we hiked
Drunk chick: you cant ski
While running races above the Squaw Vally Hotel on the Red Dog side of the Mountain. Have approx. 55 racers and celebrities lining up for dual elimination slalom with Horse gates. running start and standing next to entrance to Horsegates. Gaper skis up to me, 55ish, 270 lbs, very round; "Can I race, I've never done it before, can I get in line here? Answer NO, duh and then I thought to say. Sure have you had a race lesson? "Well no". Go down to the ski school and ask for a race lesson and then come back up when you've sucessfully finished the lesson and get a specail race pass from the instructor. Gaper; " wheres the ski school". Unbelieveable.
This is great!
"how do they make moguls? Do they put big plastic things under them?"
Dumb Fuck At Skool "Snowblades are so cool they take so much more skill and you can do more stuff"
Me"stfu u queer"
Wow. Are you on the juice?Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring On The Snow
How do you like those FAT skis?
(I was on iM75's!)
Happening on some snowshoers while skinning on my Splitboard:
Snowshoers: Are those skis?
Me: Kind of....
Snowshoers: What do you mean?
Me: Its a Splitboard. Its a snowboard that splits into skis to climb and back into a snowboard to come down.
Snowshoers: (shaking head) What will they think of Next?
Hiking up to Tuckerman Ravine w/board on back.
Hiker: You gonna snowboard today?
Me: Nope. Just taking the board for a walk.
here's your sign.Quote:
Originally Posted by Affix Snow
Isn't snowboarding better than skiing?
:nonono2: moron.
A spanish gentleman (an acquaintance of a few who post here) was watching me get my avi gear together before a day in La Grave.Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
Him: (Sniggering) So are you some kind of hard core freeskier.
Me: No
Him: Anyway, Indian people can't ski
This guy IS a skier and a GOOD skier. Rude rather than gaper but still stupid.
There were these two gals that were really into bump skiin' and 90% of the time they skied Mary Jane (which at the time was Colo's premier bump hill). They'd come 'round Loveland once in a while & I'd make some runs with them... always on the steeps off chair one. Well, somebody says lets go ski chair four and we decide to duck the ropes on what then was the "race run" (Exceleration) to get over there. The run had been groomed perfectly and the one gal looks at it from the top and says "There's NO bumps! Where are you supposed to turn?"
Auuugghhhhh!
Well, we 'Mericans did push you off of your, er, I mean our land. You really don't belong in our mountains either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Roo
wrong indian.
everyone knows there are no mountains there.Quote:
Originally Posted by rideit
First chair two outta the parking lot on a blue-bird powder morning on my way eventually to the top at Mammoth...some goofy-ass mofo dude in color-coordinated ensemble of matching pants-boots-coat-helmet-gloves-board-bindings says:
"Snow Summit is sick, man."
Almost rolled off and into the powder twenty feet below.
said to me at a Warren Miller showing/poster signing.
"so, you guys just like... must make millions and travel the globe all year round, thats soooo awesome!"
i think i severly bummed this guy out as i signed a poster for him and told him that i had to take the weekend off of waiting tables in order to come the movie premiere.
come to think of it, i think about half the conversations at the WM showing could have made it on this list.
"so can you see anything when you're going that fast?" (no i just close my eyes and go)
"what if you're ski came off going that fast?" (well i'd crash)
Don't sell yourself short. We know you'd just ride it switch to the road!Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkasquawlik
No shit, Sherlock.Quote:
Originally Posted by rideit
After that remark, I should rehash a pic of Mrs. Roo that makes all of us jealous of Mr. Roo. Seriously.
http://www.tetongravity.com/usergall...s/Img_1781.jpg
Seriously? But I always had this picture in the back of my mind whenever Mrs Roo postedQuote:
Originally Posted by rideit
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...lakes_logo.jpg
:)
I always have this one in the back of my mind when it comes to Land O Lakes
http://www.e-z-smith.com/images/Maiden.gif
ME (as customers walk in shop): Hey guys, how you doing? We will be right with you.
Mom Customer (getting attention of preteen snowboarding son): Honey, look.
That man looks like a racoon. That was what I was telling you about.
Not mine, but a friend's who worked facilities at the resort. After the slopes were closed riding in an elevator with a vacationing Dad and his kid, the Dad leans over to the kid and in a still audible voice says "See son, this is why you go to college." Didn't realize he was probably getting waited on his entire trip by some of the most OVERqualified service industry employees you can find.
I work at a custom boot shop, on a VERY busy Christmas week day with customers waiting all over the shop, a woman and her son up. The kid races and the Mom is looking over my shoulder. As I measure his foot, the Mom asks "what size is he. Whatever you think he is, I want one size larger!"
ME "we won't guarantee a fit if you want to do that."
Her "Well I dont care. We have been through this before, I want one size bigger than whatever you think is right!"
Me "Would you like a job here. Because Last I checked I am on the clock not you."
Lady storms out, I move on to next customer.
It really encourages your faith in mankind. . .
gee, my first post...i'm so nervous.
anyhoo, i work at a ski resort, so i hears 'em all. my favorite comes from my non-skiing neighbor when i tell her i'm going up... "But didn't you go skiing yesterday?" she asks.
Last march I was at Snowmass looking to demo some fat skis since we had picked up some snow during the day, and it was supposed to keep up all night. Went into the 4 mtn sports shop and asked if they had any fats to demo. I see all they have are solly and ask about maybe a 185 PR since they dont seem to have many high end skis, and this chick goes into a speil straight outta 1998, "ski lengths have shortened, you know longer need such long skis, I dont know anyone who skis anything longer that 180", she reccomends the 175, possibly even the 165. I am a big dude, 6'2 #230, there is no way in hell I am renting 165 PRs..I slowly backed out of the shop, not really knowing what to say...
Wandered across the mall and found a shop with a dude working who actually skied, and he hooked me up with some scratch bc's and I enjoyed a great powder day the next day.
?: Why don't you move to Sacramento, it's close to Tahoe & you can get a better JOB?
answer: If you don't know you wont' know.
I like what you painted on your skis!!!
-refering to graphics on public enemy's
Guy on lift, pointing to Public Enemies: "Oooh, powder skis!"
Kid in shop: "Oh, I'm not going to buy anything, I'm just looking. I know a pro at Cascade who buys stuff for me on pro form. His name is Gary." BUSTED.
Sitting on the chair chatting with a punter from a warm flat city far away. They were on a week long ski holiday.
They - "...and so where are you from?"
Me - "I live here."
They - "Wow, I would do anything to live here."
Me - "Oh that's an easy fix; pop home, quit your job, box up all your shit and I'll see you back here next week."
They - no response but the mere idea of it seemed to petrify them.
Normally I make an effort not to scare the punters (new lifts don't pay for themselves) but every now and then I must! Mouhahahaha!
The happiest conversation with a non skier -
We were going to a near-by hill for some night skiing, it was a work trip/outing. One of my work mates who had never skied before said (he's hungarian. Please apply the necessary accent) "I don't won't to like this. Me and cold are not friends. How you work this skis anyway?"
2 Hours later - "I love it! Where I buy everything?"
Another one hooked!
Don't say anywhoo, jong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Parvo
Funny thing, the Japanese ski industry argued that Japanese snow WAS different from Europe's snow to justify tarriffs, back in the day. France responded with conterveiling duties on Japanese camera's stating that French sun was different. Japan relented and companies like Yamaha no longer make skis. True storyQuote:
Originally Posted by satori
"what time does it snow?"
guest: what happens to the snow in summer?
me: it melts
Guest: where does it go?
me: melts in the ground
guest: yes, but WHERE do it go?????
me: yeah you got me we store it under the ski tube building.
guest: cool so is it cold?
At a big 187 posts, er... you're not one to talk, Jong.Quote:
Originally Posted by yooper
Anywho, I should probably go back to work now.
Arranged to meet up with a friend from work and his wife at a local hill one Saturday. This was maybe their 3rd time using the ski gear that they had bought. Tell him exactly where to meet, we agree on 11:00 (so, I'd already been skiing for 2 hours). No one around at 11, figure I'll take another run and check again. Still no one. Okay, take another run. Riding up the chair, cell phone rings.
Him: Hey, we're here, we're in the lodge. We can't get our boots on.
Me: Uhhhh.... What?
Him: We've been trying to get them on for 20 minutes.
Me: <long pause>
I ended up explaining how to put ski boots on while I was riding the chair up.
I'm a pretty big guy, too, and I've had that experience far, far too often. Every time, it irritates me to no end. It's usually made worse by the fact that I don't live in the flatlands, and I certainly don't appear to be a great athelete. It seems like whenever I start looking at skis in a shop, they always assume that I'm a blowheart who's never skied off a named run on the trail map. They always try to veer me away from the Mantras and Gotamas, and over to the AC2 or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by rip
I don't last long in ski shops like those. Bastards.
By the way, 180" = 15 feet = 457cm. Hey, maybe she really was working in inches. Like her, I also don't know of anyone skiing on anything longer then about 220 cm, let alone 457 cm.