I am exhausted because I have been up all night and today. Vesna went into labor about 8am yesterday morning and was in easy labor all day until 4pm when they started to become more intense. At 6pm we drove to the hospital to start working through the rest of the labor process. Vesna was a trooper. She stayed with her breathing through each and every contraction. We had her doula Tamara and her friend Tracy to help with the labor along with Vesna’s mom...
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It was a mind-blowing experience.
So now the story has changed like it was bound to. It is no longer about Me and my adventures in the mountains. Don’t get me wrong, I will still go in the mountains but I don’t feel like I have the stomach for any more near death experiences. The adventure is now about raising baby Rosie Julijana and experiencing the world through her eyes.
2 weeks later:
I am on the final step in finishing this house. I started construction with very limited experience in legit house construction but now I feel like I can build the next house even better. The next plan in the works is to make the move back to Alaska and work on developing our little piece of land in Girdwood. Maybe then my spirit will feel at ease, like season bird home to roost? Smithers is all right but as I tell Vesna, Smithers is nice where as Girdwood is magical.
Baby Rosie is just over two weeks old now and her personality is just beginning to develop. The other day Vesna left Rosie and I in bed so she could go to town to get some coffee to bring back. She left at 8am and I lay there for a while watching Rosie sleep like only an adoring father can. Around 8:30 she began to stir from here angelic slumber. She sure was cute when she was calm or asleep but like any baby, once she is hungry she will let you know by wailing her little lungs out.
I was getting nervous. Where is Vesna? I bet she is caught up talking to some girlfriend like she has the tendency to do. No, she knows there is a baby here that only she can feed, as we are not using formula at all. Rosie is awake now and starting to get upset. I walk in circles in the little cabin we are still in but she is not buying it. The pacifier is doing next to nothing. She is crying now and I feel completely helpless. I am helpless. Vesna has the milk… Where is she?! Maybe she got in a car wreck? NO that is crazy! But maybe? Rosie is wailing and I feel empty and helpless. How long do I wait until I have to race to the store and go buy formula? Where the heck is Vesna?! I am getting kind of angry because I KNOW she is gabbing to some random long lost friend, recalling the details of the birth of our little beloved baby. WWWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
I can only sit there for the last 20 minutes with a knot in my stomach as my little girl is apparently in so much distress. I envision a life without Vesna, just me and the baby and somehow we would make it work…
Just then the car pulls up and Vesna gets out with my lukewarm latte. Sure enough she was talking to her friends and even though she was trying to get back to us they were pushing for me and the baby to have some quality time together. Time to bond I guess.
So there you go. Welcome to the life of a parent. It has been practiced through out the ages so there is some comfort in knowing that each and every person has started out as a screaming infant. It is like joining a huge, not so elite club where the entrance fee is nominal but the responsibility is enormous.
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