I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

You can either be pissed about this forever, or just occasionally clean the fridge. Being passive aggressive about a habit your partner is oblivious to only hurts you as she clearly doesn't care.

Only took me six years to figure this out.

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How about the reality, not just concept, of time? Can you just be straight up aggressive? That's one I just can't get over.

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Originally Posted by Conundrum

Come home from a mtn bike ride and the kitchen looks like the back bar at last call at your favorite dive bar the night before stay at home orders start.

“What the hell is going on?”

“I’m making cocktails for all my gal pals for so and so’s birthday zoom call tomorrow and I’m going to ride my bike around and deliver them tonight in these cute little mason jars.”

“That’s a cool idea. Need me to do anything?”

“Nah, just relax...I bet you’re pooped, it was pretty hot out.”

Cool. I go out to the shed, burn one down, pour a glass of nice bourbon and plop down on the sofa and watch whatever I haven’t watched on Netflix yet.

An hour and a half later, she comes in and asks what’s going on in the kitchen.

“Nothing since you left.”

“I thought it would be nice if you would have done the dishes. This is a mess.”

“Yeah, I’ll remember that the next time I have six or seven buddies over on a bender and we leave things looking like this.”

Then I got up and started doing dishes. She eventually perceived my mood and helped with an apology so there’s that.

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Early on in our relationship, we discovered that we have entirely different kitchen etiquette. I wipe down the counter and wash dishes between tasks, my wife not so much. When our daughter was about 3, I told her mummy looks like the swedish chef at work. Of course the little princess needed to see who was the swedish chef. A couple of youtube videos of the muppets skits later and she is howling with laughter.
Wife was very good natured about it all, especially as I always appreciate her efforts at the table, and I don't mind cleaning up afterwards while she settles down our daughter before bed. But every once in awhile, daughter observes mummy preparing a meal and comes over to me giggling and says mummy is going swedish chef tonight!

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

How about the reality, not just concept, of time? Can you just be straight up aggressive? That's one I just can't get over.

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I adjust any statement about time from the better half by about 2 hours. Wife standard time, "I'll be there at 11" means, I'll start to think about being there at 11 and actually be there around 1.

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn

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Duplex might be a good setup

My buddy Jack figured it out, but it takes the right girl. Lives a few blocks away from her, both have their own money and places. Hang out a lot, trips, etc, but still their own places when they need some "me time" for themselves. Not married but together for about 30 years now.

I saw this movie once where this guy keeps the girl in the cellar in an old well. The chick was pretty pissed, but the arrangement seemed to work ok.

My dad and stepmom each have their own bedrooms.

I’m so jealous of them.

My wife and I go to bed at different times, wake up at different times, all we do is interrupt each other’s sleep.




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Fuck, you're a trooper. I won't even date someone if their sleep schedule differs much from mine.

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

How about the reality, not just concept, of time? Can you just be straight up aggressive? That's one I just can't get over.

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As long as you factor in the time you spend complaining about it or thinking about it, I imagine it's a time saver to just suck it up, but you may also get some value from feeling superior, so you'll have to run the math yourself on if it's worth it.

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Originally Posted by Timberridge

I saw this movie once where this guy keeps the girl in the cellar in an old well. The chick was pretty pissed, but the arrangement seemed to work ok.

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Was that the one where she moisturized regularly? I think that movie sent a good message about skin care.

It puts the lotion on its skin.

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Originally Posted by glademaster

Fuck, you're a trooper. I won't even date someone if their sleep schedule differs much from mine.

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Well at first we were on the same page, get high, sex, sleep, go to work, repeat.

Then the kid happened.

I need about 5hrs of sleep, she needs 8 or is a mess.

Men and women were never meant to share sleeping surfaces. It’s a sham set up by Big Mattress to get us to buy bigger and more technical beds to make us feel like we’re in bed alone to improve sleep.




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PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

put in a bidet 8 weeks ago when the TP shortage happened ... still on the same roll eh

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Mine went in shortly after separation 3-ish years ago. Think I'm still on the same 12 pack of TP I bought right after that. The bidet seat is truly one of mankind's greatest accomplishments.

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Originally Posted by AK47bp

Men and women were never meant to share sleeping surfaces. It’s a sham set up by Big Mattress to get us to buy bigger and more technical beds to make us feel like we’re in bed alone to improve sleep.

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Do you have a root cellar?

I think the sleeping together thing is an anachronism from our cave dwelling days. Caves were cold scary places with spiders. Chicks don't like that shit, especially the spiders. So it became something guys had to do. Today, most of us live indoors, have heat, and except for a few dirtbags here, a relative lack of spiders in the house. So, there's really no reason for this anymore.

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Originally Posted by Timberridge

Do you have a root cellar?

I think the sleeping together thing is an anachronism from our cave dwelling days. Caves were cold scary places with spiders. Chicks don't like that shit, especially the spiders. So it became something guys had to do. Today, most of us live indoors, have heat, and except for a few dirtbags here, a relative lack of spiders in the house. So, there's really no reason for this anymore.

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You don't really live in VT, do you? No spiders in su casa? How can that be?

I had ladybugs. Perhaps they ate the spiders? The ladybugs in VT are a PITA.

If the extent of your female grumbling is related to lady bugs I’d say you’re doing something right or something really wrong.


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After some years of marriage, I believe I have reached a plateau where I understand 85-90% of the way the female mind works. My bird is fairly easy to figure out though. I'm not trying to get to 100%, because I think the last 10% should remain a mystery.

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Originally Posted by Timberridge

After some years of marriage, I believe I have reached a plateau where I understand 85-90% of the way the female mind works. .

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That’s cute she lets you think that.



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Originally Posted by Boissal

I'm 3 years in, you gave me hope.
Ms Boissal is physically incapable of throwing stuff out of the fridge. We have some long running bacterial cultures in the back that I keep hoping she'll eventually deal with after I pointed them out a few times. Instead she builds little walls of stuff in front of them so they're out of sight.
He favorite thing is to leave a speck of something in a jar so it doesn't have to be thrown away. As in a small spoonful of yogurt, a smear of jam, or my latest favorite, 1 slice of pickled jalapeno in a quart jar. It's been there for a month and I will not eat it on principle (even though I really want to).

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The corollary to this one is opening a new jar of something before the old one is empty. Very annoying.

Guys - did you know that various towels can only be used for certain things? I used the 'wrong' towel after showing yesterday, and received a formal towel use education.

It's serious stuff.

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Originally Posted by Thaleia

Guys - did you know that various towels can only be used for certain things? I used the 'wrong' towel after showing yesterday, and received a formal towel use education.

It's serious stuff.

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And don't just assume you can use any pillow!

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Originally Posted by The AD

And don't just assume you can use any pillow!

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Pillows omg. We actually have extra (throw?) pillows on standby in the storage room in case the ones that no one uses on the couch need to be updated or replaced.

Pro tip: Throw pillows are a perfect low cost way to spruce up the look of a room. Tell her the new pillows look great and let her buy all the pillows she wants as re-upholstering the couch or god forbid, buying a new one is $$$$ .