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An older gentleman(probably mid 60's)on the lift with me ripped outa his mind-"You dumb motherfuckers want to spark a motherfucking bowl with me" I replied in a tone that I very clearly thought was joking, "Not with that attitude I don't" quickly followed by "just joking, I don't but don't mind if you do". Dude missed this part and launched into a tirade about how youth these days are too motherfucking responsible and uptight for the rest of the ride up and stormed off at the top.:biggrin:
Yeah, I know, they're gapishly jongtastic, but it's better than frostbite.Quote:
Originally Posted by WWCD
She was wearing stretch pants, yooper.
Oh,.... Well that's good news... At least she wasn't totally clueless.Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
That goes for Utah too. So many people who were born and raised here have never been on a pair of skiis. WTF?Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone-Free
I've heard this off loading the tram at the Bird a few times. Here's mine:
"There's too much snow up here, let's go back to the park."
Do park rats count as snowboarders?
After I told my friend I was going to the garage to wax my skis.
Him: Why the hell are you waxing your skis, it's April and I don't think you're going skiing soon.
Me: I have to put on a layer of wax so that the bases don't dry out.
Him: Aren't they made of plastic?
"did you watch the football game this weekend?"
"i didn't know you could ski powder i thought you could only snowboard it, like wouldn't you get stuck"
They should...Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnygirluvspow
Why?
Well they were snowboard clothing (snowpants especially, without the cordura patches and end up shredding the inside of them)
They act like snowboarders- Follow each other into terrain that they do not have the slightest chance of being able to ski
They think like snowboarders-Bad attitudes, punks, just picture Tanner Hall
Ha read my avatar...
Up at A-Basin this spring, and some JONG with a NY accent and head to toe Burton Camo clothing, carrying a Custom X under his arm, was telling the chick at the pass office that the Snow sucked.
It was "..too hard and Icy. I only did one run straight back to here. Why won't you give me a refund?"
After explaining "No" about half a dozen times, he walked over to his friend (also head to toe burton gear) and loudly proclaimed as to how much the Basin sucked as they wouldn't give them a refund
"We so should have gone to Vail, the snow would be way better, and they aren't so tight with passes"
Amusing considering CO had no snow for a week or so and that they had $41 day passes instead of Vails $70+
"You two must be the most colorful couple on the mtn. Those skis are really loud" Refering to my sethpistols and my bfs squads.
another good one "Why does a girl need to ride a ski that is over her head????????? Isnt that going to big for you?" This from a guy working at a ski shop. My respoce "the bigger the better maybe you dont know too much about that!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubersheist
:eek: I remember that. I took a class from Cohee a while back and he really is the biggest tool ever.
Another Beaver Creek story...
Day was sick skiing some of the "side country" at Beaver Creek but it was a few days after the snow, was caked head to toe, snow inbetween my goggles and helmet, etc. Some dude was walking by with his family, and pointed, said, "Maybe someone should leave more snow on the mountain"
Kid "He must have fallen good"
Mom "Well"
by this time I'm cracking up, they are pretty much pass me, and I chime in with, "I couldn't find the groomers."
The father turned around and gave me a thumbs up, the mother looked disgusted that I was talking back.
On the Outback Lift at Keystone:
Some dude in jeans: How's the snow?
Me: Not bad for mid December, just trying to keep off the downed trees and rocks
Jeans: Why would you ski somewhere with rocks and downed trees
Tonight at this girl's house in steamboat:
"How did you ski today? You can't ski today!"
"Umm... we just did. We got off the pass like a half hour ago."
"But you can't ski! It's September!"
"Eh...???"
"So Steamboat's really open?!" (with obvious brown on the entire lower half of the mountain)
Excellent! I'll have to try that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankZappa
Oh, another Beaver Creek one:
While heading down to lunch with a Barking Bear, we did some random drills. We had no idea where we were going, and just headed to the nearest lodge. Unfortunately, we hit Bachelor Gulch and the fucking ritz. Me and the guy were on one ski for the whole lower half of the run, carving at moderate speed. Another bogner prick says at the bottom as we blow by, "Skiing on one ski is dangerous! Patrol should throw you off the mountain!"
On a crowded traverse at Loon, years ago, random older dude in a crappy wedge, repeated every 20 feet or so, "WATCH OUT BEHIND ME!!!!," while turning back to look behind him. WTF?!
I nominate this for 2nd funniest thing in this thread.... Just behind the boot glove comment.Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
Regarding your opinion:Quote:
Originally Posted by yooper
http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/6...kometerad0.png
Regarding your "Drills":
http://i10.tinypic.com/2q2h6vm.gif
Kayaking related:
An old-timer remarks to my buddy at a gas station, with those two pontoons, you outta be in good shape if you roll off the road.
A few years ago we had a massive dump in MD (prolly same storm EPskis is talking about). By shear dumb luck, I was up in western MD where it was just pounding. By Monday morning, it finally stopped storming and was starting to clear. Final count: 51" in 40 hours.
I walked up to the ticket window and the guy in front of me said "I was here yesterday, I talked to someone, they said because of the conditions, I could get a free ticket today?" Woman behind the counter said "yes, do you have your ticket from yesterday?" He does, she clips it off, gives him a free ticket for the day. WTF?? Only the best conditions ever, and they're giving away tickets? So I stepped forward and said "they told me the same thing." I took my free ticket and didn't ask questions.
Good comeback, I must say.Quote:
Originally Posted by yooper
I thought it was pretty funny too.Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
Thanks. Feel free to use that graphic for future comebacks!:biggrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
One I get far too often, or some variation of:
"Black people ski?"
and this priceless one during an NBS summit in Keystone, from ski patrol:
"The Brotherhood has no business in the Outback"
a few years ago my friend and I were riding the lift up with some gaper from New York. He broke into our conversation by asking my friend Jack "How do you ski powder?" MY friends reply was really well thanks. We continued our conversation. The look on that guys face was priceless!!!
You must not give up so soon. Now is when you pull this one out....Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
Attachment 16269
Nice! (I've tucked that one safely away into my "email replies" folder..... Next to this one:
http://i9.tinypic.com/48w5nkl.jpg
Holy shit, I cannot believe that keystone quip. Crazy.Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
I am waiting for the time someone says "smart people snowboard?" to me.
But it will never happen.
I am for sure going to have to use this one!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mannix
Me: You're going to like those skis
Guy buying skis at REI: I bought them 'cuz they're red
Ok, the first one is mostly just ignorant. The second one is way the fuck out of line. Wonder what marketing would have thought of that asshole?Quote:
Originally Posted by bklyntrayc
I just remembered another. Bluebird day at Alta, I'm riding collins for the 4th time maybe of the morning. They had just opened ballroom on my previous run, so the stoke meter is running high (hmm, no graphic for that.) I get on the lift and the guy I sit next to is explaining how he just got out of bed. "So" he asks, "what is the best run to ski?"
I just start laughing and shake my head. I tell him to follow the signs that say "main street," and bomb off to bad news again.
I nominate this one for best post in the thread. Can't stop laughing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy
:smile:
From my Dad a few years back. I'm telling him about how great our weekend was after we had skied a few days during a heavy storm cycle. He proceeds to tell me "I just think it's great that you can still do that at your age."
I was 42 at the time.
Very timely. I just got this jewel yesterday from a friend's new trophy wife in Bend:
"I raced ever since I was 10, and it ruined me. I can ski free at Bechelor but I just don't get it. Up, down, up, down. No gates, no stopwatch. What's the point?" I had no rejoinder. Just silence.
When I used to Work/Live at the rustler lodge in Alta:
Them: "Bundle up kids"
Me: "Take those layers off its not that cold out"
Them "Are you sure it winter outside"
Me "You don't need three layers and a neck warmer in March on sunny day in the high 30s"
Them "Are you sure???"
Me "I ski here everyday I think I can say yes to this, wear it if you want but you'll be back in the lodge changing in one run"
I've been around a lot of racers, and I've never heard that shit. :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by Blinkyjoe
I get it -Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
Like a grey hound or a race horse (or a friend of mine who was on the Australian Swim Team) it's hard to see things any other way after you've been conditioned for so long.
"Did Meteors hit the mtn last night?"
Some Guy was refering to the long range arty rounds fired above Little Cloud on the american twins at Snowbird
I see your point, but I've raced since I was about 11 too. I like gates and the competitive aspect, but I'd take powder in an instant if I had to pick between the two.Quote:
Originally Posted by KQ
"Oh you're one'a them snowriders, Do have any of those little snowblades for doing tricks?"