I think Warren Miller said that before he got married.
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I think Warren Miller said that before he got married.
you keep that shit like luggage
Go pet your dog and give ‘em some love right now. They aren’t going to be around forever.
Always wash your ass before your procto/gastro-ent appt. They're used to it and will just make a joke, but it's mortifying all the same.
Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
Never by a house next to Dry Creek. (There is at least one in Sacramento that floods regularly and I'm sure there are others around the country.)
If you're the smartest one in the room, you're in the wrong room.
If it is worth doing, it's probably worth overdoing.
Sometimes good enough is good enough if it gets it done
Only invest in bitcoin if you're smarter than everyone else.
Whatever amount of garlic you were going to use, double it. Then add a little more.
Then let it age 5 days and it will triple in flavor, and can be used as a bear repellent.
Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.
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Wait .... are you talking about uteri?!?!?
When making a grilled cheese, put the slices of bread in the pan while it heats up, then build the sandwich with the hot sides in, against the cheese. It’ll melt much more quickly.
My boss once told me, "Never have an affair with someone who earns less than your wife."
Salesman said, I hit all my goals last month and all they gave me was a pat on the back. I said, better to get a pat on the back than a kick in the ass!
If you say something and your wife says, "what?' and you repeat it and she says "what?" again don't raise your voice when you say it the third time, even though it makes complete sense that you would do so. And watch your tone.
^ Good fukn advice. Wish I’d followed it more.
Maybe I learned it today. We'll see I guess.