Coronavirus complaint/commiseration thread.

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Originally Posted by muted

Absolutely works for the 6 year old, yes, no matter the mess she makes its worth it. The 3 year old is completely inept though, she doesn't pull her weight around the house, WTF.

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^How about paying the six YO to babysit the 3YO for say an hour or two? Feed her peanut butter, keep her entertained?

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Originally Posted by iceman

Shit give the kid a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread and a very sharp, very large knife and tell him (or her, of course) to have at it. What's the worst that could happen?

parenting tips from iceman

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FIFY

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

You hit up any Eagle county restaurants or breweries yet?

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Every day. Should I wear a pin with my antiviral test results and confidence intervals?

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Originally Posted by TBS

^How about paying the six YO to babysit the 3YO for say an hour or two? Feed her peanut butter, keep her entertained?

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Why, it’s just that simple?! Bless your heart, thank you!

Kidding...

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Originally Posted by iceman

Shit give the kid a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread and a plastic knife and tell him (or her, of course) to have at it. What's the worst that could happen?

parenting tips from iceman

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dog blowjob?

https://www.bloombergquint.com/onweb...irus-reopening

Sex work is safer than sports?

Essential workers

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Originally Posted by muted

Why, it’s just that simple?! Bless your heart, thank you!

Kidding...

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To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.

Well you can always turn on some video for them, that usually worked for me when I was in that boat.

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Originally Posted by muted

I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEwSAvvbzJ4

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Originally Posted by iceman

Well you can always turn on some video for them, that usually worked for me when I was in that boat.

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'usually' is a key word here.

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Originally Posted by Danno

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEwSAvvbzJ4

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Absolutely.

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Originally Posted by muted

To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.

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Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

Thank you for the reminder of how grateful I am to be through those years. I used to say the 3 Things were like the bear cubs at the zoo. Horsing around, wrestling in a rolling ball of energy x 3 that destroyed everything in its path. There was screaming too. I will tell you it gets better, and in spite of the fact that it feels like it will never end, it will, and you'll wonder where the time went!

^^^Amen. Been through it as well. I raised girls, was raised in family of boys, not sure which is worse.

And muted, I paid the 6YO to take care of the 2YO. It works for about an hour, then comes the meltdown. But if you only need 30 minutes...
The dog seems to be its own problem. Kennel?
Vibes though. Parenting young ones by yourself can be draining

When ours were teensy, we did a lot of long distance trips, like 1000 miles each way 2-3 times a year.

We eventually stocked up on earplugs for the drive, not from their fighting, but from their laughing and screaming joy.

They're teenagers now, so it's more like volleys of disdainful reproofs going back and forth in an approximation of civilized behavior.

So I recommend earplugs with a background veil of AC/DC, Led Zep, Stones or the Who. But then the problem is like when it's too quiet and you know you'd better go check on them. So set a timer.

Man, I found evidence of poop atop the toilet lid the other day. Carefully cleaned (with TP only) by the 3yo and matter-of-factly explained as "totally handled".

WTF happened, kid? Didn't quite make it in time? Forgot the lid?

muted... you got a trampoline? I zip my kid into the enclosure and get a few minutes to work.

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Originally Posted by Sirshredalot

Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

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Yes, the screaming and whining is really what kills me too. Add screaming + hangover = hell

Norse, all tramps are sold out around here last I looked, I would love a smaller one we can wheel away. Don't want a big year-round one.

We have tons of things of them to do in the backyard though. I know what to do to get a minute break guys. I'm not totally useless I just need to bend in the breeze more. I don't know how this thread turned into all about me whining, I'll shut up now.

Teenage boys beating the motherloving shit out of each other is such an unspeakable joy. 17yo has height weight advantage for now. 15yo has more muscle and is more athletic.

Lol

Well it is the complaint thread. I see these little points as lighthearted distraction from the real shit of it. I'm glad to be with my kids this much even if it is hard to work.

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Originally Posted by muted

To be more articulate, you guys are giving me dad advice based on logic. I live in a 3+6 year olds world were nothing is logical, my daily life with them is a string of absurd events, and they are agents of chaos where a simple sandwich is not a simple sandwich. Now add a dog who eats all their food if they look away for a second, bolts out the door to bite the mailman (when the kids open the front door when they know they shouldn't) and this same dog occasionally munches down on a dirty diaper if given the opportunity, all while i just neeed ONE FUCKING MINUTE to concentrate. I don't need advice on kids, I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

Gotta go, there is a poop in the bathtub to clean up.

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A six year old does not know shouldn’t. A 3 year old opening the front door is a prodigy. Or maybe you don’t have a proper deadbolt. Beat of luck with that bathtub.

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Originally Posted by Sirshredalot

Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

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A screaming 9 year old has bigger lungs. Buy ear plugs.

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Originally Posted by muted

<snip> I need advice on how to go with the flow and accept this absurd life.

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My advice would be to have another kid.

:fmicon:

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Originally Posted by Norseman

Lol

Well it is the complaint thread. I see these little points as lighthearted distraction from the real shit of it. I'm glad to be with my kids this much even if it is hard to work.

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Parenting is a million times easier when all you have to do is parent. When that happens and you can focus, yes, it's hard work but awesome. my 3 year old is fucking hilarious, the 6 year old is pretty damn funny too. thankfully.

That was a trying time too. They can be downright cruel. Just remember, before you'll know it they'll be rolling by for drinks, beers and smoked ribs (like tonight) and clearly loving each other regardless of occasional disagreements and eye rolling. And two of them live together. I'm kind of amazed that works as well as it does, but hey.....!

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Originally Posted by riser3

Teenage boys beating the motherloving shit out of each other is such an unspeakable joy. 17yo has height weight advantage for now. 15yo has more muscle and is more athletic.

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Originally Posted by muted

Parenting is a million times easier when all you have to do is parent. When that happens and you can focus, yes, it's hard work but awesome.

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We agree man, I ain't knockin. It's fuckin hard to get real work done with tots about. Just raising them is easy cheese in comparison

Cool, i wasn't taking it as knocking me, I'm just mansplaining the obvious then agreeing I guess?

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Originally Posted by Ottime

A 3 year old opening the front door is a prodigy.

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We were staying in a pretty good-sized hotel on a family trip, it had a deadbolt but it unlocked when you opened the door from inside. About 3:00 AM the phone rings. Front desk: Do you have a little boy named "J-"? Groggy, me: "Yes, why?" FD: "He's down here at the front desk in his pajamas."

Kid went to use the bathroom, opened the front door instead and went out into the hall , locked himself out, found his way to the front desk somehow (we were on the 5th floor), and was able to tell them his name and our name. I was pretty proud of him but the rest of the trip we pulled furniture in front of the door.

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Originally Posted by iceman

Kid went to use the bathroom, opened the front door instead and went out into the hall , locked himself out, found his way to the front desk somehow (we were on the 5th floor), and was able to tell them his name and our name. I was pretty proud of him but the rest of the trip we pulled furniture in front of the door.

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I did this personally in Reykjavik last year but I was hammered and it was 3 am. I was also in my boxers. Better half wouldn't wake up so I had to front desk it and get a key. Icelandic women are very attractive and clearly unimpressed by drunk Americans.

I love my kids (3 and 5), my job is decent, but not enough time to do either justice.
After 2+ months of being teacher and social entertainment, I'm just tired and want a day off.

The state I live in opens up on Monday. I hope the influx of tourons won't let Covid kick us in the nuts.

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Originally Posted by concretejungle

The state I live in opens up on Monday. I hope the influx of tourons won't let Covid kick us in the nuts.

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Been discussing this in the "fear & loathing thread." Aspen and Walla Walla have both ramped up their marketing for tourists now that things are opening up. On the one hand - tourist dollars would be good for struggling businesses but then there is the potential for increased exposure to the virus. Guess we just need to wear our masks, keep our distance, wash our hands and hope for the best. Going to have to come out of our holes sometime.

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Originally Posted by Conundrum

I did this personally in Reykjavik last year but I was hammered and it was 3 am. I was also in my boxers. Better half wouldn't wake up so I had to front desk it and get a key. Icelandic women are very attractive and clearly unimpressed by drunk Americans.

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Ha! Yeah I can picture that happening to me...

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Originally Posted by oftpiste

That was a trying time too. They can be downright cruel. Just remember, before you'll know it they'll be rolling by for drinks, beers and smoked ribs (like tonight) and clearly loving each other regardless of occasional disagreements and eye rolling. And two of them live together. I'm kind of amazed that works as well as it does, but hey.....!

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The funny thing is they still get put in their place by the 21yo older sister who is 5'3". She drew the short straw. Bahahahaha. I am relentless. It's purely control of the dark side of the force on her part. They tower over her.

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Originally Posted by Conundrum

I did this personally in Reykjavik last year but I was hammered and it was 3 am. I was also in my boxers. Better half wouldn't wake up so I had to front desk it and get a key. Icelandic women are very attractive and clearly unimpressed by drunk Americans.

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I ended up in the furnace room of a hotel in Whistler. Who would have guessed the front desk was on the top floor (place is built into the side of the hill)? Not me in that state. I thought Freddie Krueger was gonna get me. I was not in a state where I could keep both eyes open simultaneously.

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Originally Posted by Conundrum

I did this personally in Reykjavik last year but I was hammered and it was 3 am. I was also in my boxers. Better half wouldn't wake up so I had to front desk it and get a key. Icelandic women are very attractive and clearly unimpressed by drunk Americans.

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Ha! A friend of mine told me a story of why he doesn't drink anymore. One day he 'woke' up in a Vegas hotel stairwell pissing in a corner. Naked. Only door that wasn't locked was a ground-level exit in the entire stairwell. And a very long way away from the lobby entrance on the other side of the building. And it was broad daylight. His plan was to run around the corner and through the Strip as fast as possible to the front desk, but what happens when a naked man runs into a Vegas casino? I learned that you get tackled by security.

What kills me is I can't remember WHICH friend told me this story, fuck.

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Originally Posted by Sirshredalot

Was that poop announced with extensive screaming? Because the screaming really wears me down.

Mine have turned 3 and 5 during the lockdown.

Drinking seems to only make me fat and has not stopped the endless screaming.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

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I announce poops with extensive screaming sometimes now and again too. Some days you just don't eat and drink right.

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Originally Posted by riser3

I announce poops with extensive screaming sometimes now and again too. Some days you just don't eat and drink right.

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Haha


https://i.gifer.com/LhtX.gif

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Originally Posted by Ottime

A 3 year old opening the front door is a prodigy. .

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What about one that locks the deadbolt to the backdoor and runs away inside as I'm about to open it with an arm full of groceries?

She loves locking us out.

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

between the stock market crash, oil market crash, a likley RE crash, mass lockdown with inability to work

its the end of the world as we know it

who can say how the new world will look ?

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https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/29/succe...afe/index.html

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Originally Posted by KQ

Been discussing this in the "fear & loathing thread." Aspen and Walla Walla have both ramped up their marketing for tourists now that things are opening up. On the one hand - tourist dollars would be good for struggling businesses but then there is the potential for increased exposure to the virus. Guess we just need to wear our masks, keep our distance, wash our hands and hope for the best. Going to have to come out of our holes sometime.

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I like Gunnison/ Crested Butte's new campaign.
https://youtu.be/d2EpOKcQ5OE