I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...-4vZx1mAtMoiFG

Is somebody's wife reading this thread? Has a safe word been established?

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Originally Posted by Self Jupiter

‘. I wasn’t trying to trash my wonderful wife or make myself look cool. s.

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You didn't......
If a slightly unsterilized cup makes you puke, what happens when you eat her taco?

^it happened when I found out what had happened. Dramatic? Def. I thought it was amusing though.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

somebody helping me out with a cart would make me more benevolent

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Assuming you mean one of these?
Attachment 294948

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Originally Posted by Self Jupiter

^it happened when I found out what had happened. Dramatic? Def. I thought it was amusing though.


Assuming you mean one of these?
Attachment 294948

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Actually quite impressively dramatic. That is a skill. Have you tried acting?

The ability to puke by just thinking of something blows my mind.


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Originally Posted by smartyiak

Somehow my wife just locked her keys in her car....both of them.

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Come on man. You let your wife have the "spare" key?? Spare key is defined as "any key your wife does not have access to so that it will actually be where its supposed to be in case it is needed"

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Originally Posted by riser3

Anyone second that motion?

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Oh come on now guys.... it's all in fun! If we can't laugh at our foibles what there to live for? I'll give you a second.

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Originally Posted by DBdude

somebody helping me out with a cart would make me more benevolent

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Son, it sounds like you've got a monkey on your back. Don't you know those things will kill you, literally?

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Originally Posted by Self Jupiter

I wasn’t trying to. This is something that happened a few days ago that I find amusing/ kinda funny that I now regret having shared on this thread. Wasn’t trying to imply I’m mad about it, more just that it happened, world keeps spinnin. I obviously didn’t write it to any amusing or funny effect, considering the responsesx ‘. I wasn’t trying to trash my wonderful wife or make myself look cool. For the record, I think my wife is awesome and I think our relationship is pretty great. Maybe I never read up on this thread and I don’t understand be context? Can I use my mulligan? I did take laps.

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I think the thing is that you came across as a bit, uh, delicate. What's TGR good for if not a good ribbing?

Is your name Mike, by any chance?
Attachment 294958

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Originally Posted by idahospud

I think the thing is that you came across as a bit, uh, delicate. What's TGR good for if not a good ribbing?

Is your name Mike, by any chance?
Attachment 294958

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Wouldn't the hot coffee have killed anything that was lurking in the cup anyway?

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Originally Posted by KQ

Oh come on now guys.... it's all in fun! If we can't laugh at our foibles what there to live for? I'll give you a second.

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https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...r-sIGM1jNY0z2o

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Originally Posted by Gepeto

https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...r-sIGM1jNY0z2o

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dude

http://giphygifs.s3.amazonaws.com/me...0z2o/giphy.gif


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gas giant duder gets a pass from me based on ski skillz meritz despite odd dish drama

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Originally Posted by Norseman

gas giant duder gets a pass from me based on ski skillz meritz despite odd dish drama

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Haha, quoted for truth.

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Originally Posted by smartyiak

Somehow my wife just locked her keys in her car....both of them.

I woulda thought the key rack just inside the front door of the coupled with a constant reminder of “can you put one of the keys on the key rack just inside the front door” would have been sufficient. 🤷♂️

Maybe I secretly need to make a third key and hide it in my dresser?



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I did a 3rd key (went with the cheap non-transponder enabled key that has to be programmed for the car to start up) when I got another car this summer. Came with only 1, so needed a second anyway that can be stored at home. 3rd key is in the wallet and will only open the car door (not even a trunk lock anymore included)...

Attachment 297015

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

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Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

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duh this is obviously your job....

BTW I believe that is called leaving the scene of an accident.

She’s lucky Gomer didn’t see her lawless behavior.....




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9efgLHgsBmM

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Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

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In all honesty, you should make sure she is ok and doesn't have any sort of brain injury from the accident. If she hit something that hard, she could definitely be showing some symptoms here.

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Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

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Not to single out your lovely wife but.... I can't believe the things we are allowed to do while operating heavy machinery. Smoking is one thing in particular that has always amazed me. You're driving with a burning stick in your hand/mouth, how can that be safe? It's not just your life in the balance, your choices impacts everyone else on the road.

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Originally Posted by Skidog

BTW I believe that is called leaving the scene of an accident.

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and F C is an accomplice now. (I'm assuming there's more nuance to the story and it's not quite the hit and run it sounds like)

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Originally Posted by Thaleia

and F C is an accomplice now. (I'm assuming there's more nuance to the story and it's not quite the hit and run it sounds like)

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yeah but im pretty sure that even if you hit a simple deer you're supposed to call the coppers...I wouldnt call it "hit and run" but technically she left the scene.

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Originally Posted by Skidog

yeah but im pretty sure that even if you hit a simple deer you're supposed to call the coppers...I wouldnt call it "hit and run" but technically she left the scene.

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When my fence got smoked by a driver that fled he got a hit and run charge. (This is in Canada though, and he fled on foot, so agreed not the exact same scenario)

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Originally Posted by Thaleia

When my fence got smoked by a driver that fled he got a hit and run charge. (This is in Canada though, and he fled on foot, so agreed not the exact same scenario)

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interdasting