How do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?
Wipe the blood on his teddy bear.
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How do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?
Wipe the blood on his teddy bear.
What's the worst thing about eatting bald pussy. Getting the damn diaper off.
Have you guys heard about the racist sprinkler system?
It goes Spic, Spic, Spic, Spic, chink!... nigga,nigga,nigga,nigga
That's why I hate PC types. They haven't realized that in most cases humor is someone else misfortune. That's why it's funny. That's why the PC types can suck my dick. You're sucking the life out of humor, put those lips to good use. :fuckyou:Quote:
Originally Posted by Caucasian Asian
What's long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
What are 3 things you can't give a black guy?
Black eye, fat lip, and a job.
Little girl walks into the bathroom in the morning and sees her Dad taking a shower. She points at his penis and says "Daddy, what's that"?
Dad says, "you're gonna find out when your Mom leaves for work".
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black kid?
Most people know this joke as, "there are skid marks in front of the dog"
My friend used to tell it as, "the dog had a soul".
Q: How are Redneck children taught to put on their underwear?
A: Yellow in front, brown behind!
Q: Whats a weiner?
A: The first person across the finish line at a Mexican track meet!
Q: Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with her right hand?
A: So she can scream with her left.
Whats the worst part about eating vegetables?
Getting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Not quite so dirty, but,
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel balls?
Sparky.
Damn right.Quote:
Originally Posted by BlurredElevens
How is spinach like anal sex?
It's really hard to enjoy it as an adult after you're forced to have it as a child.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
In your cockgarage!?!?Quote:
Originally Posted by arbuckle
;)
Q: Whats the definition of relative humidity?
A: While you're butt fucking your sister, you see the sweat trickle down her back.
Why don't men trust women?
Would you trust anything that bled for three days and didn't die?
Did you know that ducks die after having sex? Well at least the one I fucked did.
Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow!
"Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"That's the least of your problems. You have AIDs."
Edit: Page Bottom. Bitches.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasputin
What's even funnier that that!?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasputin
The story of Rasputin's penis
(yes, it's SFW)
Ok, just some hippie jokes...
whats more dumb than a box of rocks??
the hippie that carries it accross the country.
How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.
Why did the hippie cross the road?
Who else would follow a chicken around?
How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
She's only got one sock.
What do you call a hippy with a haircut?
The defendant.
Two families moved from Pakistan to Edmonton. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet. In a year's time, whichever family had become more Canadian would win.
A year later they met again. The first man said, 'My son is playing hockey, I had Tim Hortons for breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Molson's.
How about you?'
The second man replied, 'Fuck off, Paki.'
Probably already been posted but i dont feel like reading 10 pages
-whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a lambo?
-I dont have a lambo in my garage
What's black, blue, and doesn't like to have sex?
The 8 year old in my trunk
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees
Now you're bringing back painful memories of past lives, but nothing that I haven't seen here before. You obviously aren't aware of my beginning here. :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by MrZach
Now those are some GOOD hippy jokes, because they actually have something to do with hippy behavior. Also:Quote:
Originally Posted by 72Twenty
How do you know if hippies have stayed at your house? They're still there.
this one is hard to wright down, but if you say it out loud it works.
What is the best thing about fucking twenty four year olds?
There is twenty of them.
NOTE: mildly racist
whats the difference between a jap and a hot pocket?
-hot pockets dont scream when you nuke 'em
Sorry for bringing it back from the dead, but I LOVE JOKES!!!!!!!
What do you call an Ethiopian Woman with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
What is the fastest animal in the world?
Ethiopian chicken.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What do walrus' and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?
Daddy get off me you are crushin my smikes.
What's black and crispy with wheels at the top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeve in a house fire.
What's funnier than a drunken clown?
A drunken clown with down syndrome.
that is fucking gross!Quote:
Originally Posted by basinbeater
Q: What's purple and sits in my basement?
A: My Nigger! I can paint it whatever color I want!
What do you do after you rape a blind, deaf, mute?
Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
A teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on an airplane with three orphans. The plane is crashing, the pilot and the co-pilot have already bailed out and there are only three parachutes left. The teacher says, "Quick, get the orphans into the parachutes. We've had our lives, let them have theirs!" The lawyer says, "Are you kidding... Screw the orphans." And the priest says, "Do you think we have time?"
What's the difference between a blonde and a fridge?
THe fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
The young girl in the deeps woods of Appalachia wanted to go to her high school dance. So she asked her dad, "Daddy, can I go to the dance tonight?"
"No, bobby sue, you've gotta stay home and do your chores."
"But Daddy, I do just about ANYTHING if you'd let me go to the dance tonight."
So the Dad thought about it for a minuet, and said, "Would you suck you daddy's dick?"
Bobby sue thought about it and said, "Hummm, Ok"
So she's down there going to town and gets this awful look on her face and says "Daddy, your dick tastes like shit!"
"Yeah, your little brother wanted to go too."
I came up with a couple more:
- what do you call a 500 lb woman sitting across the bar from you licking her lips and holding a condom? - - - a 1/4 ton pickup with a box liner.
- a man comes home from work to find all his possessions on the front lawn. When he goes inside to confront his wife, he finds her hysterical - telling him to get the fuck out. He questions her and finally gets her to tell him that all the neighbors, all her friends and family think he's a pedophile. He thinks for a moment and replies - - - "pedophile...pedophile? Honey, c'mon, don't you think that's a pretty big word for a fifth grader?"
What is the best way to clean a dead baby out of a blender?
Nacho chips.
:D heheQuote:
Originally Posted by maddog
What is red and hangs from trees?
monkey miscarriages