:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by cj001f
54321
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:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by cj001f
54321
ive gotten the 'why did you move to Utah' questions a lot, and i have finally started to tell people ive converted to LDS cause the reactions are better, especially when i have a beer in my hand.
also gotten:
"dude, the tail of your ski snapped off(while skiing ak rocket swallowtails)
on a chairlift with a mother and young child (child)"What makes moguls?" (mother) "the resort places rocks under the snow"
"i used to be really good at skiing, but ive found that snowblades take more skill"
I love running into tourist groups on snowmobiles in the Canyon Creek backcountry. Usually goes like this.
Them, "Are you lost?"
Me, "Nope."
Them, "But the ski resort is like a mile away."
Me, "Yeah, so how bout a ride."
Them, "Uhhh."
About this time I usually climb on behind some guys wife and snuggle up to her ass. If it's a guy I get out the tow strap.
Top of Teton pass, after hitching up from coal creek:
"where do you want to go? Up top here, or down at the ticket office?"
speechless.....
Asked to me in regards to telemarking.....
"I don't think people can ski downhill when their heel is not attached."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spark
just not very fast.
from a liftie 30 years ago
You can't ride the lift, those aren't skis (on telel's)
This thread is great. I'm laughing my ass off.
While patrolling, I watched a guy enter the terrain park. He proceeded to hit an S-berm straight on, went airborne, and landed on his back. I skied down to him and asked him if he was alright.
He said: you guys shouldn't put big bumps in the snow like that, people could get hurt.
Me: You know that you are in the terrain park, right?
Him: Yeah, but somebody might not see those bumps.
:eek:
Co-workers as they look outside in disgust (face it, we live in Ottawa and it's snow in winter and it generally stays (if lucky) from november to april - if you're not happy move):
"When is it ever going to stop snowing?"
"Again, I tired of all this snow (on a terrible snow year)"
"Go ahead rain, melt all the snow away"
On TV/radio:
"It's going to be a beautiful weekend. Temps way above normal which should help melt the snow away." (I've trying to teach my kids (3 and 8) to stop using it's nice/bad in describing weather. Use the terms it's sunny, it's snowing, it's raining...etc) My nice and beautiful weather is very different from the people I work with.
From my mom (she was once married to a skibum (my dad)):
"You should stop skiing, it's April for God's sake"
"You're no longer a kid (I'm 41). You should get serious how that you have kids and a wife and stop only think about skiing"
"You're thinking, right?" (as I told her maybe a week after coming back East from Mammoth that we were going back West to the Northwest for your vacation in August/September which would included skiing).
"Don't get yourselves hurt/killed" (what I call positive vibe)
From the US Custom officer sometimes in the early 90.
"Where are you going in this snowstorm? And why do you have 4 pairs of ski in the car? (I was with a buddy)"
"There's still skiing?" Late in the season, especially when Killington used to make it to June.
Don't worry, I have many more positive vibe from my wife, kids and close friends.
Ok... the dumbest thing I ever heard was just after a warm storm blew through Tahoe last season, and all of the resorts got rain from top to bottom. I called the Kirkwood snow report, and heard Tim Cohee say something like the following:
"Our base is has not been affected by the recent rains. Most people don't know this, but rain only runs along the surface of the snow, and doesn't affect the depth of the base."
WTF????
Mr. Cohee was a veritable fountain of dumb-ass remarks when he did the snow reports.
"I'm skiing this weekend"
"Oh on a glacier?"
"Sunshine is still open until the end of May n00b"
Apparently there was this lady at Silverstar who tried get a refund for their lift ticket because there was too much snow and she couldn't ski.
"Jasper is much closer to Edmonton than Banff is"
"Sunshine is too flat"
"TeePee town chair is too slow"
Oh and my personal favourite "Hey are Stanley Zircon beacons good?"
"Uhh, that's a stud finder!!"
(aside)Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAYER
are you really saying the beauty of utah is how uncrowded the wasatch is?
(does that make me a nonskier with that question?)
I was sitting on the bench at the Beaver Creek base at the end of the day with skis and poles sitting next to me. Some rich bogner-clad gaper sat down next to me and starts a conversation. She was like, "yeah the whole family does this every year. I forgot how hard skiing is! Where are the easy runs?"
Me: Speechless............."Uh you may want to look into a lesson."
[I had my boot crossed across my knee at the time]
Bogner: "So do you ski or snowboard?"
[I look at the dobermann on my foot ... WTF]
Me: Uh i ski.
Bogner:So why is that fabric thing on your boot? [referring to my boot gloves]
Me: Because these are race boots and get very cold.
Bogner:Oh I saw racing on the olympics! Isn't that dangerous?
Me: It's a calculated risk, it generally helps if you can ski.
She got a phone call and left. Ugh I hate people who don't understand the passion of the sport.
Only at Beaver Creek....
Greatest thread ever..
From inside the Tram at Big Sky:
" Where are the green runs from up here?"
Said to Inspector Gadget and myself while riding the lift at the Canyons during a storm: "Too bad it's snowing."
gesturing from nonskier construction coworker when attempting to mimic skiing
_both hands to one side- double pole plant & butt wiggle
_repeat double pole plant to other side w/wiggle & "shss shss" sounds
"yeah jimmy.... something like that..."
I got a nice one walking back into dorms with ski pants on and poles in my hand...
"DID YOU SKI TODAY?!?" (I knew it was going to be a good one, opening up with such a question..)
-"Yeah."
"Where?"
-"Alta."
"I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANY RESORT IN THIS STATE OPENING IN SEPTEMBER!!!"
-"It's not."
"Well then.... how'd you ski?"
cow-orker teaching another the ropes:
"If you plan to learn skiing you should get a pass: you'll pay it off in a couple of months! Of course, there's always backcountry skiing, and it's free!"
Bwahahahahaha!!! Hilarious, got to try this one out sometime this season.Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankZappa
"Can you lock your heels down?"
While riding up a lift at Beech Mtn in NC with a middle aged patroler. Me on teles. I don't know if she was asking me to do it if I can for "safety" or if she just didn't know...
"I didn't know you can cross country ski downhill" in regards to telemarking
"Wait, how do you go up on snow" While trying to explain skins
I get the same kind of thing when I start talking about music with people who aren't musically educated. I'll be explaining why some part of a piece or song is so cool and they just stare at me with very confused looks on their faces.
Hah how about actions of non skiers?
Some people at Sunshine with Sunshine Cards (discount cards, something like a $13 discount on each day pass, Albertans buy them), well they put them on a lanyard (everybody carries their passes on a lanyard at SSV, you only need to scan it at the very bottom), but they leave the lanyard outside their jacket so it flaps around, and there is a chance of losing it and having somebody else take it and charge some ski days to your credit card, all while they could just as easily place it inside their jackets...
even better: what are they doing at sunshine if they're not skiers/boarders?Quote:
Originally Posted by skiitsbetter
silly albertans :nonono2:
"skiing is stupid"
This is the funniest thing in this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
One of our buddies said that exact thing in the tram on the way up to Lone Peak a few years ago. I wonder if you were one of the 15 peeps riding the tram that day...Quote:
Originally Posted by montanaskier
We had just made the comment that he only had about 10 or 12 ski days in his whole life and here he was riding the Lone Peak tram. One of the guys reminded him to make a pizza whenever he got going a little fast, and he asked if he'd be able to make any french fries. That's when he acted panicked and asked if there were any green runs off the tram.
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWCD
seconded.
coming from more than a couple coworkers, "so...you like to ski?" as they look around my cube, wallpapered with trail maps.
"dont kill yourself. pam broke her leg skiing a few months ago." - my managers (who is a fat tub of lard and definitely not a skier) comment to me at least 3 times in the week before i was flying to CO for a ski trip. btw, pam is this round woman who probably feels walking to the printer an athletic achievement, even before the crutches.
My boss came to me all excited because he had just bought "fat" skis.
I ask him what he got, at with a big grin he tells me B2's
After I blew my knee out (1st time)
Co-worker: "so, are you gonna quit skiing now?"
Days after blowing my knee last fall, myself and my g/f were walking around Australia (I had quite the limp) I missed a step and landed with my leg completely straight and all my weight on it. After I collapse and start swearing profussly, I'm holding my knee and rocking back and forth....she says 'Whats wrong honey? Does your knee hurt?"
I was sitting in a folding chair behind my car with the trunk up playing reggae adn BBQing brats on my little propane grill and enjoying a cold beer in the ski area parking lot at lunch, and a family of Nebraskans walk by. The mom says "Are you allowed to do that? They have a cafeteria here, you know."
(I always have lunch while skiing this way)
Another time preparing lunch had a guy walk buy to his car and fetch a brown paper bag of probably PB&J's and cheetos and was heading back to the cafeteria. He noticed the smoke coming from my grill and smelled the sweet aroma of sizzling cheddarwursts and then looked at his brown bag and sighed. Kinda had that "why didn't I think of that?" look.
Coworker after the mountains got a dusting here last week "so, you gonna go skinnying?" :nonono2:
Also, I just loved the blank stares I got after answering the question "So, what did you do over the fourth of july" with "Hiked and skied near Yosemite and skied Mammoth"
how was it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Elin
Silly Bogner-clad non-skier..... What ripping, kickass skier wouldn't know what those were? She probably wasn't even wearing stretch pants or anything.....Quote:
Originally Posted by doublediamond223
Only at Beaver Creek!
"I wish they had more of those green circles here"
"why is there only snow on this mountain its not very pretty"
"What you can ski in Hawaii?"
Was once talking to some guy in Boulder about skiing. Seemed nice enough, then he came up with a real gem:
"I really wanted to live in a ski town, so I moved here (to Boulder)."
Iain (if the term "JONG" had been invented at that point - 93 or so - I think it'd have been put to good use)
Yeah, I'm a jong, too. But JONG, you can ski in Hawai'i.Quote:
Originally Posted by TannerP
If there were more green circles off of Rendezvous peak/Thunder/sublette, there would be fewer people in the Alta chutes and the Hobacks.Quote:
Originally Posted by TannerP
I've seen it mentioned a couple of times in this thread already, but I was also shocked at how many people had never been up the canyons when I lived in Utah. I was at one of the gas stations on 92nd south in Sandy (or so, forget), ran into my next door neighbor's daughter (she was hot). Was on my way to work at (ummm, forget, either Snowbird or Alta), chatting, saw the blue car way up on the ridge, pointed it out to her.
"I had no idea the ski areas were that close! I've never noticed that!"
Ummm, what?
OK, I've lived in Colorado for 10+ years now (sigh, why'd I move here....), I've only been to Aspen and CB once each (if I'm driving more than 3 hours, I'm going to Utah, dammit), and I can kinda get someone who has lived here forever not taking the time to go to Vail or wherever, but this chick lived 12.6 miles from Snowbird/Alta. Even if you DON'T ski, it is 20 minutes away, summer concerts, Octoberfest, curiosity, the Mormon filing cabinet, whatever - in the span of eighteen years, she/her family had never ventured to BCC, LCC or even Park City - surely there was something "worth" doing in Park City during that time.
Shrug. I don't get it. I'm not really an art-guy, but I've explored that sort of thing in the places I've lived. I went to the Mormon Temple when I was in SLC, but I'm not mormon (and it took me longer to get there than it did Alta). I just don't understand.
I guess it is not a stupid thing said to me by a non-skier, but it is baffling nonetheless.
Iain (I did have a texan tell me I needed to "hunker down on them rims" in reference to skiing moguls. I have no idea what he meant, and he fell getting off the lift, so I never got the demonstration;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA
Very very very very fun. We hiked up a little past Watsons, basically to the top of Wildcat, and had a great time. Having bronchitis and Jersey lungs slowed me down a bit on the way up, but it was still super enjoyable. No camera this time, but I figure the season is still relatively young, right? :smile:
Said by fat boarder dude while standing in the lift line ~ 1 day after an extremely rare 3' dump in MD/PA:
"This fucking sucks ~ why don't they pack it down?"
:rolleyes:
Now, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a while.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mannix