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Buzz, I am sorry that life sucks right now.
There’s a lot of good advice in here already from smart people, so i can’t help much. but if I appreciate your posts half a continent and behind a screen away, im sure that you have people around you that do too. talk to them. call a helpline. wake up early and go get some exercise.
there’s a lot of good shit that’s out there, it just gets covered in bs a lot.
if the ratio hasn’t been coming up in your favor lately maybe it just means your due?
Buzz, reach out to old core friends. Even if "bridges were burned" they can be rebuilt. Time heals a lot of that shit amongst good friends. It sounds like you could use the people that know you best.
I'm sending positive vibes your way.
Couple things that can help as a daily practice. I'm 55 and have been going through some of the same shit.
This helps you get out of your head and into the present.
Go for a walk and....
Notice 5 different things; their color, shape, texture.
Listen and note 5 different sounds.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. What does it smell like?
Repeat the above throughout the walk.
Get a bird feeder and seed. Something about feeding birds gave me a glimmer of hope when I felt down.
Put on some good good music and cook some food from a favorite recipe.
Some ideas that helped me get through, and continue to help.
Good vibes from Witchita can heal ya.
Go listen to some more of that Charles,Wesley Godwin I sent ya.
Feel the West Virginia love
This reminded me of my pet/wild bird. When I split firewood with my axe the bark falls off and sometimes little larvae fall out. This bird knows the sound of my axe and visits me. It sits a few feet off to the side and watches for its food to fall. When it does, I take a step back and let it into the space to munch. Often it gets so fat it can't fly away and it just sits and sleeps in my garden for a few hours. It's cute as hell. This has been going on for two or three years now.Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnF
Keep your head up, Buzz. Sometimes that's all you've got. But it's still something. And something is more than nothing, even if it's only a little.
Do yourself a favor, Dan, and delete the posts you made in this thread.
Love you, Ron.
When you wake up tomorrow, remember this: Put down the booze for good. I never drank that regularly, but man, even a small amount can have a profound effect on your mental health. I don't drink at all anymore--almost entirely because of it's effect on my mental health at any dose. For me, even a glass of whiskey or a couple light beers would result in some sort of anxiety or morose the next day. And again, I was never a heavy drinker but I LOVE Irish whiskey.
This would be a meaningful and almost guaranteed improvement and a great first step towards breaking through.
Here's to tomorrow and the day after that!
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Hang in there Buzz. We need you here.
update Buzz has the cutest dogs
Grim thinks he is a 15lb lap dog
thanks for letting us come on by, we (all of us on this weird little corner of the Internet) love you & we're grateful you're here with ushttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...9753ced1ff.jpg
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Awesome y’all! We’re all here for ya Buzz!!Quote:
Originally Posted by tgapp
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And, the ribeyes.
tgapp, I hope we cross paths one day, 'cause this, along with all of your other selfless acts, are something to be admired; drinks on me. Thanks for looking out for one of our own.Quote:
Originally Posted by tgapp
Hang in their Buzz….you have lots of support and some great advice/ to help get you through this bump in the road. You have lots to live for….many more exciting times to enjoy.
I think we live pretty close to each other and we've met IRL once, (red bike pedals?) Feel free to hit me up if you ever want to unload or just chat in person. You seem to have raised some pretty decent kids in this weird East Bench world. I'd love to know how you kept them centered. Mine are getting to the age where I really have to think three moves ahead when they ask me a serious complex question. I'd love some real dad advice.
Hang in there dude, people love you, we need you around more than you know. One day at a time.
Buzz, every damn time I see your avatar, I imagine an entire block, both sides of the street, totally dark…with a wildly flaming couch on each porch and lawn. Red cups strewn everywhere, semi- naked kids gettin’ it on in the shadows.
Please don’t take that away from me. :FIREdevil
Sounds like MorgantownQuote:
Originally Posted by rideit
Buzzworthy- please hang in there.
You don’t know me at all, but I certainly remember your screen name from when I first started lurking here a long time ago. I care about you along with everyone else posting here.
From my own experience, giving up alcohol was huge for me and my overall mental wellbeing. Might be worth a go. I don’t know. Some micro ( and macro) dosing also helped me around that time and continues to somewhat frequently. But I’m no medical professional, although a reset can do wonders IME.
Your family needs you even if you don’t feel that way. You’re still here for a reason. Lotta good suggestions in this thread.
Tgapp and crew- nicely done. Amazing people.
Shit, I had the wrong location the whole time?Quote:
Originally Posted by AK47bp
Memory still stands!
One of the heaviest threads here. With some of the best displays of people being caring and kind.
BW, you matter and people want you around. Even anonymous strangers on the interweb, like myself, are rooting for you.
This is silly. My dad was a huge dick, died a few years ago when I was already an adult for decades, and I still miss the shit out of him. Broke my fucking heart finding his suicide notes to my brother and I while I was cleaning out his house after he died, even though he did not actually die by his own hand, he seemed to have little will to live left and I think might have neglected to seek medical attention towards the end. At the very least he wrote those letters a couple years before. My brother was being a dick trying to pressure and even manipulate me and fuck with me to get me to just throw all my dads stuff out so we could sell his house faster when i found them, and a whole bunch of other shit happened around that time and it was one of the very worse couple months of my life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
My dad had a lot to feel grateful about, and enjoy in life, as I am sure you do. He was old though, 77, but he was a pilot and was still flying just about a week before his death. He lived in a beautiful life, and had people who cared about him, although he didn't feel as close to them as he would have liked, and no longer had the plane that made him the happiest to fly, the plane that was really the love of his life, he still had a less nice plane and could fly and do other things.
I'm sure you have stuff going for you in life, and I'm sure you have people that would prefer you not to die. You have no idea what you mean to people around you. Like I said my dad was a dick, but he also had redeeming qualities. We spent many hours flying planes together, and he was pretty much a perfect father while he was teaching me to fly. He was less good at controlling his emotions at other times, but something about planes made him both feel more need to control and discipline himself, and also, made him happier and more at peace with the world. He had the good fortune and good taste to be able to purchase a two seat Mk IX Supermarine Spitfire back in the eighties, and operated it for over thirty years if I remember correctly. I learned how to fly in it and a piper cub. But then the Spitfire got damaged at an airshow, an on the ground collision with another airplane, and my dad didn't have the money to fix it and had to sell it as a project. This loss, and the loss of his wife to divorce years earlier, really broke his heart. Bla bla bla bla leroys walls of words, but my point is, the loss of that plane broke my heart too. I'll never fly another spitfire. I have like, a half a dozen landings in it that I did 100% myself and there will never be any more. And now, years later, I can finally financially swing getting a pilots license but flying doesn't feel as easy. My stomach is very much unused to several hundred foot changes in elevation in a matter of seconds. It seems more stressful. And my dad will never be there to teach me again. Turns out, not only are the memories of us flying something I cherish, but he was actually better at teaching me to fly than any instructor I've flown with since and created a better atmosphere to learn. I felt safer in his airplane than I ever have in another, because I trusted him as an aircraft owner, and knew and trusted his mechanic.
I could ramble on some more, but the thing is, time feels so cruel doesn't it? Time feels like it takes things from us? You're no longer needed by your kid supposedly, we have things, opportunities, experiences, moments we cherish, and then they're gone. But this can also be such a fixation, the seeing it as in the past, instead of just thinking fuck that happened how cool is that. It wasn't just that my dad was heartbroken by the loss of that plane, but also he just struggled with depression, and as it turns out, its hard to feel like oh whoa is me how hard and cruel is my life when you get to fly a WWII fighter plane, and teach your son to fly it with you as well, but after losing that, he struggled to cope with existence.
I think though, we get wrapped up in our own heads, and can forget what we mean to those around us and what they need us for. I also think, as cheesy as it sounds, the choice to be grateful for what you have and especially, have had and lost can be very powerful. Like, you don't have to stop feeling cynical or depressed or hopeless etc, but just stop and think of something cool from your life and be like fuck yea that shit happened. If you do that, it can really start to rewire your brain, preventing the negative feelings like hopelessness and meaninglessness, and it seems to make the weight of the cruelty of time less heavy, and our perception of time as linear and irreversible as less imprisoning.
Also, maybe old doors that were open have now closed, but there have to be some new doors opening somewhere. Most halfway decent authors don't write anything worth reading till they're at least sort of old and somewhat crusty and bitter. There has to be something left to learn or do or fuck.
thanks but all I'm doing is the same that many of you would do for meQuote:
Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
plus buzz has awesome dogs
and a great wife
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Yo Buzzworthy - We’ve never met but I’ve always appreciated your contributions to this community, it’s better with you than without you. I’m sure this little forum isn’t the only thing that’s better for having you. Hang in there.
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Buzz, I feel what you’re going for so deeply. A year ago I was in your place. Lost, depressed, felt like I had nothing to keep me going. I found a therapist I saw regularly and it for sure was the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but I have hope again for the future and I know you can too.
It may not feel like much to have a bunch of internet weirdos in your corner but we are here for you.
Love you, Ron. Always here for ya.
there are miracles every day, buzz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GyV...ClownPosseVEVO
Hey Buzz! Just a northern geezer here to say take it day by day brother. Hey man you got a bunch of internet ski weirdos on your side, not everyone can say that! Celebrate the tiny wins buzz. Thinking of you.
You are 5 pages deep of mags and fellow weirdos that are all saying that they care about you. Reach out for help if you can. Take it day by day. I am hoping things get better soon.
I get it.
My little black dog has been following me for decades.
Be strong. Steady your hand. Tomorrow is a new day.
Skiing doesn’t thrill like it used to. But it’s still fun.
Live to ride. Ride to live. Godspeed snow slider.
PS. Rode this morning with an old 69 year old friend. Caught a Gondi with frosty with a new knee. Keep sliding. Social skiing ain’t bad.
Good morning Ron.
We love you.
WE need you, you are us.
What are you thinking, your kid doesn't need you anymore? Kids like when their dad is at their wedding. Kids like when Grandpa watches their kid(s). Kids need grandpa to watch their kid(s) so mom and dad can get away for a few hours/days or even just go out to dinner. Kids always need. Always.
You don't even realize how much you want to be there for that but when it happens you'll be glad you're there. Or so they tell me. I'm waiting to find out and so should you.
Take moar happy pills asshole.
Sea how being a jerk comes back to haunt you?
FTWQuote:
Originally Posted by stealurface831
Good morning, Buzz. I hope you wake up this morning and feel a little better with maybe a little hope. As others have said, the fact that you started this thread is a sign that you want help. Hang in there! I’m just another random mag pulling for you.
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I have a grown son and he told me something yesterday that surprised me. We debate pretty regularly and sometimes strongly, but are both confident that the relationship cannot be damaged by it. Anyway, he told me that I'm the only person he can talk straight to, without sugar coating, and that it's important to him to have that freedom.
So I guess my point is that they do still need you, for some reason or other...
Morning Buzz. Another person here who you are in my thoughts. You matter. The world is better with you in it. Good on you for starting this thread.
Just wishing you well Buzz. I enjoy you in this little corner of the interwebz. I guess im in the habit of reading the Buzz posts
I guess it was at about 50 after family deaths i just took a step back from smoking and drinking. They were just distractions i figure. Unproductive escapes. I didnt want to waste time being in a daze. Good or bad i want to take it all in. Be present, soak it all in and try to make it fun. Im not sure how much time i have left but it seems like its speeding up. Turns out even shit fuck turns on an icy east coast mole hill are a productive escape because im having fun and its still the ultimate in freedom. Hope you can look past the bs and just have find enjoyment in whatever youre doing. I keep reminding my self, one foot in front of the other , go outside and have fun. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have to make little corrections as we go along
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Nothing but love Buzz!
It seems like empathy may be more helpful than advice. You are not alone. I'll be thinking about you and rootin' for ya the next couple of days. Please don't go dark.
And Tgapp...legend bro. Keep on being you.
Hey Buzz, I read your post yesterday and it got to me. I'm rooting for you and hoping you can work your way through this. I had a good friend in college who after a couple of years confided that they lost their sister to suicide in high school. The lifelong impact to my friend and their family was catastrophic. They were broken shells, alcoholics and the most unhappy people I have ever met. Since college I lost a friend to suicide. Their daughter and my daughter were close friends at one time and it really hit hard. Please take care of yourself. While you may not think your kid cares, they do and what you are considering would have a huge impact on them and those that love and care about you.
Yo Buzz, count me as another internet kook that's never met you but thinks this place is better with you than without you. And you do have loved ones that need you. Please keep fighting.