Dynamics
Metrics (don't you mean numbers?)
Goal/Results Oriented
Multi Level Marketing Approach (you mean Pyramid scheme, right)
Historical
Market Driven
Dynamics
Metrics (don't you mean numbers?)
Goal/Results Oriented
Multi Level Marketing Approach (you mean Pyramid scheme, right)
Historical
Market Driven
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.......Quote:
Originally Posted by Blurred
^ That post's a winner.
Meetings: Where minutes are taken and hours are lost.
Downloading the bingo chart for future use.
Our word ninja SVP of Operations laid this shit down the other day ...
"Now that we're in alignment with regard to the goals of the project, please elaborate on the stretch objectives."
Pretty sure that he sits up at night thinking of clever acronyms and metaphors. Fuckin' tool.
Is this thread really going to move the needle?
If not, let's table this discussion.
I don't think that's really in scope for this thread.
I also can't stand the word 'process' or the phrase 'in terms of'.
How about business oxymorons?
My favorite is "kaizen blitz". Yes, kaizen (Japanese continuous process improvement) done in a day! Then forgotten
Can we get a little more granularity surrounding the knock on effects of this impactful thread with regards to marketability?
We expect the IPO to reaccelerate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mud
That you Zuck?
I think "in the weeds" is the one I most despise right now. As in,"I think we're getting too deep in the weeds on this matter" i.e. I don't understand the details and like to pretend that I'm important enough that I don't have to
Also all acronyms, my new company is polluted with them
When used correctly (I'm fucking slammed) it is appropriate.Quote:
Originally Posted by khakis
CNBC was quarterbacking some good ones this morning.Quote:
Originally Posted by OldLarry
no, it's a dumb metaphor. "in (great) detail" is a more clear and concise way to make the same pointQuote:
Originally Posted by systemoverblow'd
Edit: wait it's also used to mean "I'm really busy"? Yeah thats dumb too :p
Corporate douches taking and ruining a perfectly good restaurant saying.Quote:
Originally Posted by systemoverblow'd
Sir, we need to align our strategic goals of this thread with the posts in order to ensure that the posts reflect the goals through specific objectives, actions and tactics.Quote:
Originally Posted by OldLarry
No, like I said, your douchepeople don't use the term correctly. When used in the food industry, being "in the weeds" is being backed up with tons of tickets, lots of food to go out to tables, drink tickets waiting, customers waiting, etc. See bagtagley's post quoted below.Quote:
Originally Posted by khakis
truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by bagtagley
what if it's a corporate restaurant? : flair :Quote:
Originally Posted by systemoverblow'd
1%ers can wait for their damn drinks.Quote:
Originally Posted by OldLarry
Agreed, hate when color is used like that. Also "headwinds."Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces
http://static4.businessinsider.com/i...nbow-email.jpg
it wasn't over when the Germans bombed pearl harborQuote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
GTFO, this has to be fake.Quote:
Originally Posted by phishstx
1-misspelled words
2-comic sans font
3-rainbow colored text
4-holy shit
oh yeah, and "Bring to the table."
Definitely pathetic, but I wouldn't completely put it past some 18 year old idiot hoping to be a BSD trader. Saw it on Business Insider via Dealbreaker.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hott Butt Mud
Shit, we have adults on here that think it's a good idea to use an infographic for a resume. :fmicon:Quote:
Originally Posted by phishstx
I think that's the e-mail Old Larry got from his prospective intern. Hey OL, after seeing the effective use of color, did you give the kid a job?Quote:
Originally Posted by phishstx
"Deep dive" must be on a phase of the month calendar or something, I've heard it twice in the last two weeks now.
Software vendor - we'll take a deep dive into the performance data and work to identify any areas of concern to address as well as opportunities to improve processes.
Me - find the problem, fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again.
Lots of awful here. One of my recent favorites as in I wanted to rip this guy's scrotum off through the phone is "socialize" E. G.: "Great idea, let's socialize it within the group and present it to the client."
If I ran shit boardrooms would be like Dr. Evil's lair.
Not really fitting but the President of our dept sits right outside my office. She has the mouth of a trucker and for some reason, she has picked up using "shut the front door?!?" instead of saying "shut the fuck up" when surprised. I'll show her something I am working on and she'll just say it and gasp. I fucking hate it.
I'm new to the business world. Does anyone know what skunk-works (I thinks that's what I heard) is where the expression came from?
And some really cool planes just flew over hafilax's head
ID10t error.
I actually have a SECOND kid chasing me now, who wants ME to call HIM, any time after 6 o'clock.Quote:
Originally Posted by smartyiak
Hafilax: wiki Kelly Johnson.
What does baseball have to do with this?Quote:
Originally Posted by mtnwriter
Way way over at a very high altitude.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
I feel like I'm being mached.
No its FTE'sQuote:
Originally Posted by Bobcat Sig
I used this statment in a change request I did last night
take advantage of the Duel ICON configuration preventing data loss during the upgrade
However for time efficiencies the scripts will be provided by the LAB and staged in advance so the DBA
I also reference (Scalable) and Leverage alot. Get Buy in is also popular
mached or mocked? check your resources and report back by COB.Quote:
Originally Posted by hafilax
Heading to a meeting this afternoon that will be a treasure trove of fucktarded biznass speak.
Everytime someone says 'synergy' or 'metrics' I'm going to rip one.
Going forward I expect an increased diminution in effective language based communication modalities. Just take it off line, crowd source the bandwidth and you can make it go viral.
-----------------------
Once I managed to say "synergistic collaboration" with a straight face. When my boss latched on to it in a serious way, I realized it was time to find a new job.