a few things:
1) I really don't want to work in dispatch anymore. Dispatch was all about being home with a family I don't have anymore. At the same time I have a problem with a knee and I can't hang with an aggressive PT program, so I need to find the right kind of arrangement. I can do a really good job running an engine, I can't get up every morning and do 6 mile indian runs with a crew. It makes it hard to look at random jobs with people I don't know because you never know what you're going to get. I can do really good work if I'm not having to run every day, or even if it's only 2 or 3 miles a day, but you can't count on that. If I ended up somewhere with some 22 year old PT nazi in charge I would be in trouble and doing more harm to myself than good.
2) I mostly wanted the OLF job to be working with someone who knows me and knows my background and understands my strengths and weaknesses...to go start over with some other fire program who doesn't know me, well, I'm just going to be some random crewmember without a lot of quals and not in very good shape. The engine job in WA was all about starting to build a program from the ground up, which is what my friend is starting into. He and I had done a lot of planning getting into this. Then they hire this girl. :mad:
3) If I get into a bind I'm sure I can find another job somewhere, it's just that with my house here it will be a sacrifice going anywhere but here. The tradeoff would be worth it with working with a good friend on the olympic peninsula, but to go work with some random people in some random place is a gamble I'd rather not take.
Not to argue because I really appreciate all the support. It's just that I'm physically past the stage of my career where I can just show up and kick ass with any fire program and I've learned enough with my seasons in the field combined with dispatch, which is a huge eye-opener to the program-management side of things, that if I end up working for a dumbass I'd go nuts.
It's all horseshit. I'm just going to end up eating bullshit in this fire center all summer again. Either way, trying to be a good person and do the right thing for family/girlfriend/gf's kids and take this job in spatch was one of the worst decisions I've ever made.