Originally Posted by tcohee
THANKS FOR CALLING KIRKWOOD!!!
IT'S BEEN AN UNPRECIDENTED EARLY SEASON FOR WEATHER. KIRKWOOD HAS ALREADY RECIEVED 1 FOOT OF SNOW TODAY, AND UP TO 3 FEET MORE OF THE SIERRA'S BEST SNOW IS FORECASTED TO FALL BY THURSDAY. IF THE WEATHER GOES ACCORDING TO FORECAST, KIRKWOOD MIGHT BE OPENING A LIFT THIS WEEKEND FOR EVERYONE'S ENJOYMENT. THIS MEANS THAT IF ANY DIRTBAG LOCALS HAVE A BRIGHT IDEA THAT THEY MIGHT HIKE UP THE MOUNTAIN AND RUIN OUR PERFECT POWDER, THEY'RE DEAD WRONG, AS OUR HIGHLY TRAINED SKI PATROL WILL BE TRIGGERING AVALANCHES DIRECTLY ABOVE THOSE DIRTBAG HIPPIES. IF ANY OF THEM MAKE IT BACK DOWN, THOSE COCKBITING FUCKERS WILL BE ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING BY OUR LOCAL ALPINE COUNTY SHERRIFF, WHO WILL BE SETTING UP HIS SUBSTATION FOR THE WINTER IN OUR RED CLIFFS PARKING LOT. THIS LEVEL OF PROTECTION IS WHAT WE AT KIRKWOOD OFFER TO OUR HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION. NOTHING BUT THE BEST, STARTING AT $55,000.