Interesting.
I meant this to be a thread about the animals we are scared shitless of and would go to any lengths to avoid in the wild.
And it turns into a thread about which animals we hate.
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Interesting.
I meant this to be a thread about the animals we are scared shitless of and would go to any lengths to avoid in the wild.
And it turns into a thread about which animals we hate.
Rats are cool, cuddly, and smell a hell of a lot better than mice.Quote:
Originally Posted by teledave
Here's a long, but kind of funny rat story.Quote:
Originally Posted by teledave
I lived in a house for about nine months in a neighborhood full of fruit trees. Around here, where there are fruit trees there are either squirrels or rats. We had rats. Rats up the ass. Every night you'd see them running across the telephone wires, and along the fences. There were little trails worn into the top of the cinder blocks from years of rats running across the top of the fence. It was a big house, and there was myself and four other guys living there. It was one guy, Roger's parents house. The folks lived in Hawaii. On a trip back, they brought some of those big, poisonous-glue-filled rat traps, and set them out around the house. One of them they left under a little table in the kitchen. Roger told me they didn't work.
One night I come downstairs to get something to drink at about 2:00 in the morning. As I get near the kitchen, I hear the oven crackling - like it does sometimes when it's cooling down. Some of the guys had a pizza in there, and I thought maybe they left the oven on. As I look in the oven, I hear the noise again, but from behind me. I turn around and there's a rat in the glue trap. A HUGE rat. Something like Teledave was talking about. The back half of the thing is caught in the trap, and the front half is trying to run away, but like a dog on linoleum, it can't go anywhere. Roger is passed out on the couch, so I yell at him about the rat. He wakes up and stares at me like he's dreaming. Finally he comes over to look, then runs upstairs to his bedroom. I leave too.
The next day, I come down on my way out to school. The rat is still there, barely moving, wiggling around in dried blood from bashing it's head against the floor all night. It had moved about a foot. It wasn't until I looked closer that I realized there must've been poison in the glue because the back legs and tail were starting to dissolve, and the rat was coughing blood. Everyone else in the house had left. I left too.
I stayed extra late at school, hoping the rat would be gone when I came home. Nope. All the other guys had come home and left again, and none of them had done anything about the rat. As I'm standing there deciding what to do, Roger walks in. I say, "Dude, what are we going to do about the rat?" He says, "I don't know, but I gotta date, I'm outta here." What a punk. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to pick up the trap and toss it in the trash can. The rat wasn't quite dead, but it was close.
I finally talked to the other guys about it, and they all said they knew that the rat lived in the house because they'd see it every once in a while. Apparently, they also knew which couch it lived in. They said they all saw the rat in the trap, but "didn't have time" to do anything about it. I called them all pussies. I moved out about a month later.
Splat - that dude's an animal and creeps me the hell out. You'd understand if you've met him.
Actually, I HATE little snakes, like pet King snakes or Garden snakes. They totally give me the willies. A few weeks ago, I was on a mtn bike trail, and my friend saw a huge rattlesnake crossing the path. Since it's head was alread in a hole in the ground, I was tempted to pick up it's tail (although I didn't). I don't have a problem with them biggun's, but those little fuckers send me running every time. ERRR! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about them!
I'm cool w/Mountain Lions and Cougars, but definitely not Pumas... ;)
MRW: Lions and Jaguars inhabit different continents. Methinks youthinks of Leopards.
Mosquitos give me the creeps, lately, thanks to that West Nile Virus. Good thing they're almost done for the year.
But the only animal I've ever hated was my sister-in-law's cat. Goddamn I'm glad that fucker is dead. (disclaimer: I like cats in general just fine, but that one was the spawn of Satan!)
soooooo what's the funny part, duct?
I don't know what animal it was, but my wife and I were camping near red Pine in LCC when in the middle of the night, we could hear this very heavy breathing. The animal began stomping the ground and was close enough to us that we could feel the ground move. We were without a tent that night because we got off to a late start and didn't feel like setting it up. It scared the hell out of us. When I finally had the balls to peak out from my sleeping bag, it took off and I didn't get a good glimpse of it. I think it was probably just an elk, but it scared the hell out of me.
You said this after you let the poor thing suffer all day 'cause you didn't want to touch it and then stayed an extra hour to avoid it?? Well, if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black! :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by SponsoredByDuctTape
;)
Nasty story, dude. I was getting hungry, but not anymore...
Colio - let's see... heavy breathing outside your tent... in LCC... if you peeked out a bit faster, you probably would've seen either Frozen ogling your wife while, uh, doing something, or Phunk ogling you.
Speaking of roaches, when I was living in Hilo, my neighbor tallied 53 roach kills in 1 week, compare that to our tally of 11. Ugh.
It's sickening how many roaches there are in Hawaii..
Oh, and my Uncle who used to load bombs on B-52s during the Vietnam war told me that roaches in Guam are ginormous -- "the size of dinner plates." I have to wonder about that one though, because the man did like his opium back then.
Spiders! I hate the little wolfie bastards. One of my least pleasant memories of summers. Work hard all day, crawl into your sleeping bag and just as you are on the edge of sleep, feeling one of the little nid's run across your chest. Jump up, shake out the bag and try to go back to sleep. A can of wd-40 and a lighter provides hours of sport.
Sharks, scary but I don't hate em. I try hard not to think about them when I'm surfing.
I grew up on a bear infested island so they don't worry me more then being on alert when they are present. Impressive creatures.
Cougars/Mountain lions, haven't seen many but I believe the "if your larger than they are" theory.
If more people encountered the dreaded Mountain Beaver they would know true fear.
Pigeons! I already have an irrational fear of birds (I think steaming back to being attacked by one when I was little)… But those things are gross. They have red eyes, and mutated limbs (no really, I see them with one leg or 5 toes or who knows what!) and they carry disease. And they fly. And whenever you’re walking they always find themselves underfoot, so you’re hopping on one leg, trying to avoid the stupid things.
Cougars scare me too. Especially when we have one on site, and I have to walk to my car alone at night.
I see your point. It's a better story in person. I actually considered just taking a shovel to the thing for a while, but I was afraid to grab the trap for fear that the thing would bite me. Besides, it was going to suffer whether I threw it in a trash can or not. Those traps aren't really humane. Plus, I was pissed that none of my roomates seemed to care but me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubersheist
At the time I didn't think it was funny, but looking back at it makes me laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bad_roo
That little pussy ran as soon as she saw my shinjuku style. i still go bukkake all over her face!
The Angry Whelk rules to animal kingdom!
Shinjuku, Motherfucker!
Any of you guys ever seen the arial photography over beaches? Fucking tons of sharks swimming around people all nonchalantly. The beaches would be empty if they knew.
[IMG]Quote:
Originally Posted by cololi
www.bfro.org
Spiders are up there for me, but only big hairy ones that look like they could do some damage not the little fly catchers and daddy long legs type. Had a big one in my shed last a couple weeks ago. It was about 2" in diameter(tip to tip on the legs) may not sound too big to some but for northern VT that is big. And it was FAST, never seen a spider move so fast. Fixed him up with bug killer and a hockey stick for good measure. Did not want to get close to that thing at all.
Other than that mostly just things that could eat me whole like sharks and effing big snakes.
i'm kinda scared of ducks. when i was really young and my fam would go visit my granny and gramps down at their winter place in florida, the ducks would freak me out. my grandparents spent the winters down there in a community that was old-folks only, with strange stuff like big adult-tricycles or golf carts for getting around. lots of shuffleboard, and plenty of other old-people stuff. it was an otherwise calm and comforting environment, except for the evil ducks.
anyhow, i remember one day i was running around like an idiot exploring stuff and whatnot (or whatever it is that young kids do) and came across a bunch of ducks next to the big pond in the center of the old-folks community. i went back to granny and gramps place and got some bread for the ducks. about 20 or 30 of them swarmed me and i tripped while trying to run away. are you aware of how much pain an angry and/or excited duck can inflict upon a wimp six year old?
well, i'm still afraid of ducks to this day. if i hit a golf ball next to a pond guarded by ducks, it's a lost-ball mulligan. duck poop creeps me out. i have problems like that.
True story...about a year ago, my daughter brought home a baby duck.After the usual "can I keep it" stuff, We named the duck Charlie and he became a regular member of the family. He was a mallard but due to some sort of condition known as angel wing, he could only fly short distances. As he matured, I was amazed at his level of intelligence. He would come when you called, could understand and react to about 20 words and loved to plop down next to you and just hang out. When he was about a year old, he was ripped to shreds by a hawk. Everyone in the family still misses the little guy. Ducks, great pets, who would of thought?Quote:
Originally Posted by acostiga
I've seen mountain lions here while fishing, bears while hiking, moose while hunting...I even saw a wolf pack while touring in the winter. We run across rattlers while hunting all of the time and it has become pretty routine. None of these wild beasts really frighten me in the slightest. But I scream like a frightened school girl at the sight of just one yellow jacket. I hate bees. Not alergic or anything...I just can't stand them! Wasps are even worse.
I'm guessing that Frozen's your hero.Quote:
Originally Posted by acostiga
Spiders. I hate the creepy little bastards. Spcifically, I loathe and tremble at the sight Black Widows. They are evil incarnate. Of course the little bitches only come out at night, or when you are moving somthing around that has sat dormant in the garage, or outside for a while. Black and pure evil. Not just any black, but this shiny "I'm from the deep depths of hell" black, and that sinister red hourglass.
Every summer I go to my parents I see them all over at night. I won't go outside. Eventually I can't take it and I don a headlamp, armed with some highly flammable aerosaul can and a lighter and go burn those bitches. Nothing as satisfying as seeing those things shrivel up in a nice hot flame.
Sharks scare the bejesus out of me. I kinda have a fear of the ocean too from a very bad personal experience, but thats another story for another day. I doubt if I'll ever more than dip my toe in the ocean again, it may sound irrational, but it's just one of those things. Oh and snakes, I hate snakes with a passion. Other than that, there are thing's I'm afraid of, but not to nearly the same extent
Quote:
Originally Posted by glademaster
No, you tell story!. you tell story of your early encounter with Angry Whelk! Tell about how i go bukkake on your face, and you run scared like the little boy you are!
You are fearfull of the Whelk, that is why you never come to sea shore. Well Glademistress, the Whelk has new powers. powers embided by pollution, and nuclear contamination. The Whelk has grown lagre, with amzing bukkake power. I will find you. I go Bukkake on your face once more. you fear the sea, now you must fear the sky!
I am pretty sure that if I saw a shark when I was in the water I'd shit my suit. I have run across a bear and many moose, surprisingly those don't scare me that much.