Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

Are you kidding? Did you and your wife ever sleep at the same time, or did you take rolling shifts so someone had eyes on the kid at all times?

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It’s one thing to be sleeping in the same house, or room even, than to be down the street having a cold one with the neighbor.

If people are so mentally weak that they can’t parent without a break for a few years then they shouldn’t have kids.


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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

It’s one thing to be sleeping in the same house, or room even, than to be down the street having a cold one with the neighbor.

If people are so mentally weak that they can’t parent without a break for a few years then they shouldn’t have kids.


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Maybe I need to add a bit more context: this would have been outside at the end of the cup-de-sac, three doors down, where I could see the front door of our house. Difference in response time between hearing something while there vs. being in a different area of the house from the sleeping kid is like 10 seconds. Could easily have a slower response if we were both asleep in our bedroom.

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

No, it’s not perfectly normal to leave an infant unattended in a house, even if you’re down the street. Wtf?

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Okay man, whatever you say. Why do you think they sell so many of those baby monitors? I'm not talking about being far away, just next door or pretty close by. Are you allowed to go out into, say, your large multi-acre backyard at night when the baby is down? Maybe if you have a barn or ADA or something like that. Same difference. Sheesh.

Barron DeJong - don't listen to these guys, it's extremely fucking normal.

Oh fucking please. I can monitor my kid better today from up the street having a beer with the neighbors with a cell phone and baby monitor than your mom could cleaning the kitchen while you were taking a nappy upstairs.

The douche is getting deep around here. Must be spring. [emoji17]

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Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Okay man, whatever you say. Why do you think they sell so many of those baby monitors? I'm not talking about being far away, just next door or pretty close by. Are you allowed to go out into, say, your large multi-acre backyard at night when the baby is down? Maybe if you have a barn or ADA or something like that. Same difference. Sheesh.

Barron DeJong - don't listen to these guys, it's extremely fucking normal.

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Well, they both survived that period, so I’m in the clear regardless.

We let them walk to elementary school on their own. Is that a no-no?

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

Maybe I need to add a bit more context: this would have been outside at the end of the cup-de-sac, three doors down, where I could see the front door of our house. Difference in response time between hearing something while there vs. being in a different area of the house from the sleeping kid is like 10 seconds. Could easily have a slower response if we were both asleep in our bedroom.

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no, dude -

what you are talking about is relying on an electronic device to alert you If your baby is in-distress -

This is not-okay.

adults do not leave babies alone.

... three doors down , outside, "ten seconds" - all rationalization.

If we were asleep and a baby screamed, my wife would have heard it, and wakened me If the screaming did not, and we were Present to deal with it - not having a beer at the neighbors because I wanted 'beneficial relief' --

no. Just no.


skiJ

postscript -
I have long had a phase,
' our technology has surpassed our intelligence '

I cannot imagine a better example.

You do not get relief with a baby unless you give someone else responsibility for your baby.

"context" my ass -
I will not report these two posts, but if you try to further defend this position,
Please report yourself to Child Protective Services.

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Originally Posted by skiJ

no, dude -

what you are talking about is relying on an electronic device to alert you If your baby is in-distress -

This is not-okay.

adults do not leave babies alone.

... three doors down , outside, "ten seconds" - all rationalization.

If we were asleep and a baby screamed, my wife would have heard it, and wakened me If the screaming did not, and we were Present to deal with it - not having a beer at the neighbors because I wanted 'beneficial relief' --

no. Just no.


skiJ

postscript -
I have long had a phase,
' our technology has surpassed our intelligence '

I cannot imagine a better example.

You do not get relief with a baby unless you give someone else responsibility for your baby.

"context" my ass -
I will not report these two posts, but if you try to further defend this position,
Please report yourself to Child Protective Services.

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Idiot post preservation service.

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Originally Posted by skiJ

no, dude -

what you are talking about is relying on an electronic device to alert you If your baby is in-distress -

This is not-okay.

adults do not leave babies alone.

... three doors down , outside, "ten seconds" - all rationalization.

If we were asleep and a baby screamed, my wife would have heard it, and wakened me If the screaming did not, and we were Present to deal with it - not having a beer at the neighbors because I wanted 'beneficial relief' --

no. Just no.


skiJ

postscript -
I have long had a phase,
' our technology has surpassed our intelligence '

I cannot imagine a better example.

You do not get relief with a baby unless you give someone else responsibility for your baby.

"context" my ass -
I will not report these two posts, but if you try to further defend this position,
Please report yourself to Child Protective Services.

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This may be the most insane thing I’ve ever seen posted on here.

Did your baby sleep in the same room as you? If not, did you rely on a monitor so you could hear the baby in the other room, and thus were relying on electronics? Are you saying baby monitors shouldn’t even be a thing, and that every parent who purchases one should be reported to CPS?

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

This may be the most insane thing I’ve ever seen posted on here.

Did your baby sleep in the same room as you? If not, did you rely on a monitor so you could hear the baby in the other room, and thus were relying on electronics? Are you saying baby monitors shouldn’t even be a thing, and that every parent who purchases one should be reported to CPS?

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Given his endlessly tedious posting style, I think it’s reasonable to conclude that skiJ and technology have a tortured relationship.

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Originally Posted by Mustonen

Given his endlessly tedious posting style, I think it’s reasonable to conclude that skiJ and technology have a tortured relationship.

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It's not his fault he was born before punctuation and complete sentences were created and refined.

Who knew baby monitors could be so controversial?

Wow.

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Originally Posted by oldnew_guy

Who knew baby monitors could be so controversial?

Wow.

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I did say in my first post about them that others likely had different opinions. Just didn’t realize that one of the opinions was going to be that kids should be removed from any household that uses one….

again, no, barron -

what you said was you left your baby alone, unattended, so you could attend a "block party" three houses away.


This is not about my writing style or "technology" -

This isn't about doing yardwork while your baby slept...


This - leaving a baby alone and unattended so you can attend a party - is neglect and it is negligence.

yes, barron, you acknowledged others might not share your 'opinion(s)' and I am glad your babies survived.


Good luck. skiJ

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Originally Posted by skiJ

again, no, barron -

what you said was you left your baby alone, unattended, so you could attend a "block party" three houses away.


This is not about my writing style or "technology" -

This isn't about doing yardwork while your baby slept...


This - leaving a baby alone and unattended so you can attend a party - is neglect and it is negligence.

yes, barron, you acknowledged others might not share your 'opinion(s)' and I am glad your babies survived.


Good luck. skiJ

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Actually, that isn’t what I said, but you go off. Please feel free to report me to the thought police.

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

We only used old school monitors, and the only time I would have wanted something more high tech was when we put the baby down and wanted to hang out at a block party at the end of the street.

If you’re not nearby, what good is it to be able to see what the baby is up to? Seemed to us that it would likely just add undue stress.

(I’m sure you’ll get varying options on this one)

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

Maybe I need to add a bit more context: this would have been outside at the end of the cup-de-sac, three doors down, where I could see the front door of our house. Difference in response time between hearing something while there vs. being in a different area of the house from the sleeping kid is like 10 seconds. Could easily have a slower response if we were both asleep in our bedroom.

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This is some clown shit. So my neighbors / friends who did this all the time, well, their kid just graduated as Valedictorian and he got a full ride to Stanford. But yeah, they shouldn't have been parents. lol...

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Originally Posted by skiJ

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What parts of ‘would have’ and ‘wanted to’ don’t you understand?

Bring back the days when parents and grandparents would suffocate children with love and cigarette smoke.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Okay man, whatever you say. Why do you think they sell so many of those baby monitors? I'm not talking about being far away, just next door or pretty close by. Are you allowed to go out into, say, your large multi-acre backyard at night when the baby is down? Maybe if you have a barn or ADA or something like that. Same difference. Sheesh.

Barron DeJong - don't listen to these guys, it's extremely fucking normal.

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Baby monitors are ubiquitous because people are crazy. Taking a break if you have a partner to spell you is one thing but clearing brush on the back forty with your infant in the house alone is another matter.


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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

Well, they both survived that period, so I’m in the clear regardless.

We let them walk to elementary school on their own. Is that a no-no?

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I let my girls walk to school alone, didn’t use a baby monitor to get more alone time when they were infants.


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( ya know ) This is a great thread -
I love reading stories of new Dads and the joy that you find in fatherhood -
Thank you.

I stand by my posts -

decades ago, I gave my friends first and second generation baby monitors when they had their first-born.

I have seen the devastation of SIDS. and
I have been touched by death in childhood.

my Grandfather buried at least two babies who died in infancy, and a daughter and a son when they were young adults --

This is a great thread, and
I stand by my posts.

skiJ

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Originally Posted by TahoeJ

This is some clown shit. So my neighbors / friends who did this all the time, well, their kid just graduated as Valedictorian and he got a full ride to Stanford. But yeah, they shouldn't have been parents. lol...

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That’s the measure of parental success, valedictorian and full ride to Stanford? I know several people that did that, they’re not all great humans.


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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

That’s the measure of parental success, valedictorian and full ride to Stanford? I know several people that did that, they’re not all great humans.


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I’d agree with you, but wouldn’t you say that raising a successful, happy human is every bit as relevant to one’s parenting aptitude as your value judgment over whether a baby monitor is capable of helping you monitor your child from a couple hundred feet away?

Seriously, what is it you imagine might happen that won’t happen while you’re in the next room? A rat?!

Are you afraid there might be a rat?!?!

Attachment 414114

I had forgotten the brutal insanity of other parents’ crazy judgment. I stopped tuning in to that shit years ago with my kids, who are all middle school or older these days.

Oh hey, skiJ: this post above originally had some parentheticals and dashes. That’s lazy writing and, out of respect for my audience, I cleaned it up. Why don’t you give that another go? Every time you’re tempted to use a parenthesis or a dash or a bunch of weird spacing, stop and reword it. Quit being weird and lazy about it, eh?

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Originally Posted by skiJ

no, dude -

what you are talking about is relying on an electronic device to alert you If your baby is in-distress -

This is not-okay.

adults do not leave babies alone.

... three doors down , outside, "ten seconds" - all rationalization.

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Give me a break. So a parent can’t sit outside in the yard while the baby is sleeping?