Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

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Originally Posted by wkd-rdr

My point was that there are plenty of non-binary choices on any given form, but computer systems can't grasp different parents at different addresses, or multiple contacts.

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My point is that there are plenty of non-binary choices on any given form that is hand written and you write in the margins or on the bottom, but computer systems with poorly designed databases that are not flexible to customize a few fields for different households and the programmer/designer can't grasp different parents at different addresses, or multiple contacts.

FIFY

Computers are easier and faster to change than a written form if the database is designed properly just saying.

Just discovered she hasnt paid aprils mortgage yet, we are closing in 3 weeks. Can we not go full nuclear on our way out please?

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Originally Posted by Todd Zander

Just discovered she hasnt paid aprils mortgage yet, we are closing in 3 weeks. Can we not go full nuclear on our way out please?

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Even if it’s her responsibility, I’d make that payment before the end of the month. Small cost to pay to save your credit.

Yea, I’d imagine that can be used as an offset somewhere too. Pay it.


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All taken care of, with a little encouragement and some strongly worded texts.

She has already secured housing so me thinks this was a last ditch attempt to screw me with a 30 day late.

To those just entering the initial phases, it gets better, much much better.

That's so petty.

Sorry for you having to go through that. Not sure if you have kids involved but for me it was really freeing to know that once everything was final I got to choose whether or not my ex had any impact on my emotions ever again.

“Divorce; it’s expensive, but it’s worth it.”

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

I got to choose whether or not my ex had any impact on my emotions ever again.

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I think that ^^ takes years if not decades, after decree absolute anything my ex wife did just instantly made me laugh, what made me frown cuz i was on the hook for it, suddenly made me laugh when I had no financial exposure

Well one year ago today I left Portland after separating. It’s been a tough year in lots of ways and lots of questions still unanswered, but for those going through it, it feels really fucking good to be on the other side and to be me again.

FKNA right!

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

Well one year ago today I left Portland after separating. It’s been a tough year in lots of ways and lots of questions still unanswered, but for those going through it, it feels really fucking good to be on the other side and to be me again.

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hell yeah man, so glad to hear you're growing and being yourself and finding joy again. that's about all we can hope for.

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Originally Posted by tgapp

hell yeah man, so glad to hear you're growing and being yourself and finding joy again. that's about all we can hope for.

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Thanks man! [emoji120]

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

Well one year ago today I left Portland after separating. It’s been a tough year in lots of ways and lots of questions still unanswered, but for those going through it, it feels really fucking good to be on the other side and to be me again.

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Isn't it amazing? All that time we think there's nothing on the other side than suddenly there is! Hope it just keeps getting better for ya. Well done on the survival and the surthrival.

Quest for the legal knowledgeable folk.

I work with a close friend of my ex-wife (2 kids with said ex-wife).

The friend reports to the ex when I'm at work, and not. This has implications with regards to child custody and support.

Is this legal?

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Originally Posted by wkd-rdr

Quest for the legal knowledgeable folk.

I work with a close friend of my ex-wife (2 kids with said ex-wife).

The friend reports to the ex when I'm at work, and not. This has implications with regards to child custody and support.

Is this legal?

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Wow, that’s fucked up. Not going to weigh in legally but I have some fun ideas how you could make it stop. Less fun but probably more effective, you could involve HR depending on what kind of work you do. Feels like a hostile work environment. We need slightly more specific details to give proper advice.

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Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Wow, that’s fucked up. Not going to weigh in legally but I have some fun ideas how you could make it stop. Less fun but probably more effective, you could involve HR depending on what kind of work you do. Feels like a hostile work environment. We need slightly more specific details to give proper advice.

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I've considered HR. It's gonna open a can of worms, but will go there if needed.

Said employee reports when I'm at work to my ex. They/them has stated that my child called my work looking for a ride when not there (complete fabrication that created unnecessary drama).
But generally, she reports my hours and work status (fte, vacation, etc) to my ex-wife.
There isn't anything I'm hiding as far as employment and support.
I just feel harassed, and I wonder if a coworker can report these things to another individual, who in this case is my ex-wife.

Go to HR then, that’s not okay and any smart employer is going to tell her to back the fuck off or she’s fired.

Curious what our legal maggots might say, however.

Have you considered banging your co-worker?


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Originally Posted by Gcooker

Have you considered banging your co-worker?


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Absolutely, everyday.

Duh

Hate fuck and start fresh.

Feels like a perfect time for dog shit under the door handle.

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Originally Posted by wkd-rdr

I've considered HR. It's gonna open a can of worms, but will go there if needed.

Said employee reports when I'm at work to my ex. They/them has stated that my child called my work looking for a ride when not there (complete fabrication that created unnecessary drama).
But generally, she reports my hours and work status (fte, vacation, etc) to my ex-wife.
There isn't anything I'm hiding as far as employment and support.
I just feel harassed, and I wonder if a coworker can report these things to another individual, who in this case is my ex-wife.

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Ignore it. Child support is based on your household income not your work attendance. Child support can usually be revisited and adjusted at a specific interval like every two years for changes in income and childcare needs.

I think it would be hard for you to prove that this is actually happening unless the coworker is documenting it somehow and you have access to the documentation.

Let your ex be petty if she wants, your kids will see it and it can only hurt your ex. Always take the high road. Speaking from experience.


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Is it more like

A small business, she's sending texts to her bestie about your goings or based on chitter chatter, whether you cars out side and so on

or

She's privy to your HR data via time card or something and is compiling a dossier?

Because I'm guessing legally they are a bit different

and also have no idea how that has any bearing of child support/custody

Sounds like OP finds it to be more of an annoyance bordering on stalkish behavior. At the very least I would keep a detailed record of the occurences, provable or not. May be useful down the line if things escalate.

let hr deal with her. Nobody needs to deal with this kind of shit at work. Just tell him that she is creating a hostile workplace environment. That should be the end of it.