Things That Amuse You

From the Tyson thread

https://x.com/HappyPunch/status/1857164571884028308

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Originally Posted by plugboots

I took my gown off and the nurse was saying “I’ll take all the stuff out”, so I just started yanking my EKG stickers off (no big deal), and she said something…that she needed to go get something…and I was standing around waiting. So I put on my shirt and everybody completely forgot about the IV.
But yeah, getting up at 5:30 to pound some Gatorade and it was 7:30 at night. I wanted out. I was completely bonked and loopy. I needed food.

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When you took your gown off the nurse was clearly overwhelmed by your manhood and fled, shaken by what she had seen.

Getting new living room furniture so had to clean a couple of area rugs first. Seattle in November doing its usual thing it’s cold and rainy out so didn’t want to rent the usual wet rug shampooer. Rented a Host dry cleaning system. The cleaning compound is pretty much just damp sawdust with a mild detergent mixed in. My house smells like a lumber yard now. Not sure how the wife is going to feel about it but I kinda like it.

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Originally Posted by LegoSkier

Getting new living room furniture so had to clean a couple of area rugs first. Seattle in November doing its usual thing it’s cold and rainy out so didn’t want to rent the usual wet rug shampooer. Rented a Host dry cleaning system. The cleaning compound is pretty much just damp sawdust with a mild detergent mixed in. My house smells like a lumber yard now. Not sure how the wife is going to feel about it but I kinda like it.

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Smoke some dank kush to complete the bouquet.

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Originally Posted by old goat

When you took your gown off the nurse was clearly overwhelmed by your manhood and fled, shaken by what she had seen.

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Here’s another thing I was gonna post in this thread.
Surgery is done. I’m waking up, feeling’s coming back to my lower body and there’s a nurse who’s been talking to me a lot and we’re getting along and everything, whatever. I find out that I have to pee before they let me go. Huh. So first she goes and puts some gel on my lower abdomen and I’m like what the hell? She’s like “This is to see how much pee you’ve got.” So she’s rubbing the goo around and the device tells her it’s exactly 487 mL. I’m cracking up. Now she brings me a pee bucket to pee in, so I put it over my dick and I’m like: “I can’t feel a thing. I can’t pee.” So she’s like well, “we have to do a catheter.” I’m like whatever, I can’t feel it. Shrug. So she puts the catheter in and the bag just starts filling up. This is all just beyond my control, I’m just watching it happen. All of this is cracking me up. Then afterwards I realize how many penises she has done this too. She’s like a penis expert.

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Originally Posted by plugboots

Here’s another thing I was gonna post in this thread.
Surgery is done. I’m waking up, feeling’s coming back to my lower body and there’s a nurse who’s been talking to me a lot and we’re getting along and everything, whatever. I find out that I have to pee before they let me go. Huh. So first she goes and puts some gel on my lower abdomen and I’m like what the hell? She’s like “This is to see how much pee you’ve got.” So she’s rubbing the goo around and the device tells her it’s exactly 487 mL. I’m cracking up. Now she brings me a pee bucket to pee in, so I put it over my dick and I’m like: “I can’t feel a thing. I can’t pee.” So she’s like well, “we have to do a catheter.” I’m like whatever, I can’t feel it. Shrug. So she puts the catheter in and the bag just starts filling up. This is all just beyond my control, I’m just watching it happen. All of this is cracking me up. Then afterwards I realize how many penises she has done this too. She’s like a penis expert.

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What is her name, and which hospital does she work at?

Big words

Attachment 505080

Sign guy has a stutter.

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It means intepreting the interpretation.

The ridiculous Amazon ads I get on Instagram.

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^^^ :eek:

I should've done my homework before posting, turns out interpretative is a word haha

What, kids can’t have piñatas at birthday parties anymore?

It puts the dog in the basket or it gets the hose again…




well known fact, clarice…

No barb or even hook on that fishing lure. Weird.

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heh.

Is there room for a hooker in that thing? Or at least part of one?

I was biking along the highway into town tonight and got the doors blown off by this clapped out but turbo'd Honda. So loud it felt like it could have blown my eardrums out. Stopped in at a convenience store to get some snacks. As I'm about to leave the kid at the till says have a safe trip! I mention the Honda. He says, totally seriously, that's probably my mom. Was it blue?
She's into the whole street racing scene.

I live my live my life 1/4 gallon of milf at a time.

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Originally Posted by evdog

I was biking along the highway into town tonight and got the doors blown off by this clapped out but turbo'd Honda. So loud it felt like it could have blown my eardrums out. Stopped in at a convenience store to get some snacks. As I'm about to leave the kid at the till says have a safe trip! I mention the Honda. He says, totally seriously, that's probably my mom. Was it blue?
She's into the whole street racing scene.

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Did you get her number?


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Originally Posted by nickwm21

The ridiculous Amazon ads I get on Instagram.

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If you go camping with a bear snack, that device makes perfect sense

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No demographic is too niche to market to, I guess.

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Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong

What, kids can’t have piñatas at birthday parties anymore?

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Endorsed by Governor Kristi Noem.

That's a hell of a Christmas card