I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

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Originally Posted by skaredshtles

Is this some sort of euphemism?

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No, she really likes oysters. But oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac. We used to have a bumper sticker from a Tamales Bay oyster place we used to go to--"Home of the Horny Oyster". Big disappointment when the oyster farm stopped showing up at the Sacramento Sunday morning farmers' market.

In her old age my wife is becoming security obsessed. It doesn't help that she spends time on Next Door. She wants cameras all over the place and I have to set them up which is a pain in the ass. And they keep going off line and I have to keep rebooting them. At least she hasn't asked for electric doormats for bears, so we can murder the UPS guy. Not yet anyway.

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Originally Posted by old goat

In her old age my wife is becoming security obsessed. It doesn't help that she spends time on Next Door. .

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That’ll do it.

When my wife passed I got to cancel the (expensive) security service. Kept the signs and stickers, which seems to me to be just as good. (Knock wood)

We have a neighbor who has been harrassing my wife when I'm away (it's a long story which may someday grace the pages of this forum) and the cameras do keep him away--and they work just as well when they're not working.

the thing to remember about the warning signs WITH A BUSINESS is if you advertise that you have security monitoring and you don't really have security monitoring if anything happens the business is liable

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Originally Posted by old goat

No, she really likes oysters. But oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac. We used to have a bumper sticker from a Tamales Bay oyster place we used to go to--"Home of the Horny Oyster". Big disappointment when the oyster farm stopped showing up at the Sacramento Sunday morning farmers' market.

In her old age my wife is becoming security obsessed. It doesn't help that she spends time on Next Door. She wants cameras all over the place and I have to set them up which is a pain in the ass. And they keep going off line and I have to keep rebooting them. At least she hasn't asked for electric doormats for bears, so we can murder the UPS guy. Not yet anyway.

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My wife is getting into cameras. I keep forgetting. I almost got caught on camera with her Christmas present. The cameras make sense at the empty farmhouse that gets used sporadically. And I suppose when we had a neighbor teenager with sticky fingers.

its my impression that even with a camera it won't stop anyone, they may or may not be identifyed and even if they are no one is going to get charged with anything ?

up here in the bible belt for years there have been security cameras on a local pro-christian-anti-abortion billboard that regularly gets painted or set on fire and no one has ever been caught

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

its my impression that even with a camera it won't stop anyone, they may or may not be identifyed and even if they are no one is going to get charged with anything ?

up here in the bible belt for years there have been security cameras on a local pro-christian-anti-abortion billboard that regularly gets painted or set on fire and no one has ever been caught

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Folks are frequently identified and prosecuted here. Especially when the videos and stills are shared on social media in neighborhood specific groups. If you're not on them, you'd never know.

Even with the mask the neighborhood Karen knew who this little fuck was.


https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...cfef03c751.jpg

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

its my impression that even with a camera it won't stop anyone, they may or may not be identifyed and even if they are no one is going to get charged with anything ?

up here in the bible belt for years there have been security cameras on a local pro-christian-anti-abortion billboard that regularly gets painted or set on fire and no one has ever been caught

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Someone stole the bike off the back of my kid's car in front of our house one night. Neighbor was happy to tell us he had it on camera. which did no good. A passerby got a picture of a car driving away with my catalytic converter one Saturday afternoon. I gave it to the cops. Did no good as well. Someone stole my truck with my phone in it and made a bunch of calls to the same number before I tunred off the phone. I gave the number to the cops. Did no good, although they did later find the truck intact and I got it back.

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Originally Posted by riser4

My wife is getting into cameras. I keep forgetting. I almost got caught on camera with her Christmas present. The cameras make sense at the empty farmhouse that gets used sporadically. And I suppose when we had a neighbor teenager with sticky fingers.

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I wish my wife would tell me when she's facetiming and not just talking on the phone while I'm walking naked around the house.

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Originally Posted by old goat

Someone stole the bike off the back of my kid's car in front of our house one night. Neighbor was happy to tell us he had it on camera. which did no good. A passerby got a picture of a car driving away with my catalytic converter one Saturday afternoon. I gave it to the cops. Did no good as well. Someone stole my truck with my phone in it and made a bunch of calls to the same number before I tunred off the phone. I gave the number to the cops. Did no good, although they did later find the truck intact and I got it back.

I wish my wife would tell me when she's facetiming and not just talking on the phone while I'm walking naked around the house.

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Like I said. Skip the cops, enlist the Karens.

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Originally Posted by subtle plague

https://youtu.be/X8a_-zFBldA?si=GRoDFXv-G1yXKHGJ

Which is actually an interesting question for the wife thread. Do you know the number? Do you want to know?

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Man twenty years here and you don't know how to embed a video? ("signs we are getting old" thread?)

To answer the question, I did not want to share my "number" with her (she had a steady boyfriend through college, while I was the opposite, plus I'm 6 years older) so I shot down the conversation when she tried to have it. I didn't want to know her number either.

Plus that video brings up a great point. Does oral count?? I would argue it definitely does. I've known girls who would fuck, if they felt like it, but wouldn't suck dick unless they actually liked/loved the guy they were with. I've seen the opposite too (I can't have sex with you but I'll blow you). Latter seems kind of stupid to me. (also knew a girl who only did anal so she could KEEP HER VIRGINITY. Huh??!)

Who fucking counts? Pun intended.

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Originally Posted by Touring_Sedan

Like I said. Skip the cops, enlist the Karens.

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I don't think the Karens know any of the perps, especially at the likely homeless guy who took the bike.

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Who fucking counts? Pun intended.

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I think everyone counts


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#allwivesmatter

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Originally Posted by bennymac

#allwivesmatter

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You get it


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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

I think everyone counts


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Even the professionals?

Pertinent question in present company.

Professionals surely count, they’re the inspiration


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the professsionals need to keep count for tax purposes...



fact.

We may be talking past one another


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Everything counts in large amounts.

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

We may be talking past one another


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Concur. And get tested regularly. I'm always safe, but I'm a stickler.

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Originally Posted by Diamond Joe

Man twenty years here and you don't know how to embed a video? ("signs we are getting old" thread?)

To answer the question, I did not want to share my "number" with her (she had a steady boyfriend through college, while I was the opposite, plus I'm 6 years older) so I shot down the conversation when she tried to have it. I didn't want to know her number either.

Plus that video brings up a great point. Does oral count?? I would argue it definitely does. I've known girls who would fuck, if they felt like it, but wouldn't suck dick unless they actually liked/loved the guy they were with. I've seen the opposite too (I can't have sex with you but I'll blow you). Latter seems kind of stupid to me. (also knew a girl who only did anal so she could KEEP HER VIRGINITY. Huh??!)

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Hey it wasn't me. The forum took its time to enbed it.

And I don't really care about the number. Aa long as it doesn't go up [emoji6]

And to go further down the professional road: do they make good wives or do they always load the dishwasher while high on pussy Coke?

[pussycoke]beatasschonkies[/pussycoke]

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Originally Posted by old goat

I wish my wife would tell me when she's facetiming and not just talking on the phone while I'm walking naked around the house.

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Don't you have a bathrobe for that?

you’re a towel