Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Not a quote, but a good story. Last month at Snowbird:

There's 10+ of new powder - so of course, everyones jonesing to squeeze on the lifts. I'm solo, but lined up with three boarders I'll be riding up with. Ahead of me are three groups waiting before the gates, and a lone boarder standing next to, but outside the line.

The first group at the gates loads up, and everyone in line all moves forward. The lone boarder fidgets.

The second group at the gates loads up, and again, everyone in line moves up. The lone boarder is now right next to me, at the tip of my skis. The group in front of me is all guys, the three riders next to me - all guys. I'm the only girl around.

The lone boarder looks at me, his pale, pudgy cheeks drooping around his mouth, and stomps his board on the front of my skis. Okay, I'm a nice girl, if he just asked me politely if he could slip in line, I might have let him (if it wasn't a powder day), but this is just bullshit. I just scrape the tips of my skis under his board and move up as the group ahead loads onto their chair. I don't even look at him or say anything. But now I'm ahead of him, and he stomps his board on the back of my skis.

THIS is lame. I turn around, eye him up, and I pick up one of my skis. Quickly. The dork falls over and I push off and load up on the next chair. :the_finge

LMFAO! I didn't say a word, but it made my day. This dude really was a JONG.

Surprisingly high douchenozzle quotient for Crystal closing weekend including a guy in stretch pants that nearly ran into my 7 year old, then immediately DID run into someone else from behind, then when he got to the lift line told the guy that he'd hit that it was HIS fault and he should 'watch the fuck out'.

My favorite one though:

Two guys looking at the enormous and nearly empty pay-by-the-season parking lot as they head toward the base early in the morning:

#1: "Wow! Is that pay parking?"
#2: "No, that's their heli landing area"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 303skier

fuckin boarders...

for some reason i find them all fuckin assholes.

and people ask me y i hate em.

this story is my reason

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go back to newschoolers jackass

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 303skier

haha

im walking back to the car in keystone CO (right by the bunny hill)

and i see a man in basketball shorts and ski boots... wtf? basketball shorts?

he looks tired and frustrated.

as i walk by i stay absolutly silent...than me and my dad start cracking up.

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We're all happy your daddy paid for you to go "shred the gnar" at Keystone.

If there is any.

Which there isn't.

After asking how i liked my Helly Hansen jacket, a good ol' Jersey boy told me he was very happy with his "Marmo" Jacket.

Apparently in NJ marmots are french creatures...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fellin34

After asking how i liked my Helly Hanson jacket, a good ol' Jersey boy told me he was very happy with his "Marmo" Jacket.

Apparently in NJ marmots are french creatures...

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http://snoot.org/i/wuss/hanson.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 303skier

haha

im walking back to the car in keystone CO (right by the bunny hill)

and i see a man in basketball shorts and ski boots... wtf? basketball shorts?

he looks tired and frustrated.

as i walk by i stay absolutly silent...than me and my dad start cracking up.

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Wow,THE Keystone Colorado? Great story. Can you tell it again. Douchebag.

GTFO.

Northwoods liftline at Vail on 4/12/08:

(cmsummit on his Praxis)

Gaper talking to his buddy about reverse/reverse skis ... in a pretty serious tone: "Hey, once the snow melts I bet he can throw on some rubber boats and go water skiing."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nick Pappagiorgio

Northwoods liftline at Vail on 4/12/08:

(cmsummit on his Praxis)

Gaper talking to his buddy about reverse/reverse skis ... in a pretty serious tone: "Hey, once the snow melts I bet he can throw on some rubber boats and go water skiing."

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Someone needs to try this this summer.

i was skiing last year in about 10 inches of utah's finest and under the lift is a family with the kid out of both his ski's hiking back up hill to get one yelling "i hate powder"

Saturday at PCMR I was getting on the lift with my buddy who rides a Prior WCR, and the lifty says to him "so, are you skiing or snowboarding today?" with all seriousness. It kept us laughing all day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Provocyclist

Saturday at PCMR I was getting on the lift with my buddy who rides an alpine snowboard, and the lifty says to him "so, are you skiing or snowboarding today?" with all seriousness. It kept us laughing all day.

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Here's a link to a vid of someone (certainly no gaper) tele skiing a splitboard for fun

-1 for families of gapers that find a table for 12 in the daylodge, dump all their gear and sack lunches and leave mom to hold the table all day, while people are eating their soup standing up because there are no tables.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Provocyclist

alpine snowboard

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This will keep me laughing all day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grrrr

-1 for families of gapers that find a table for 12 in the day-lodge, dump all their gear and sack lunches and leave mom to hold the table all day, while people are eating their soup standing up because there are no tables.

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With ya. This is endemic on junior race days where the entire day lodge appears 'reserved' like that and it always amazes me that they'll sit there and watch little kids standing up while they eat (spill) their lunches. And people who ski that much should know better.

I've gotten to the point where I just sit down with the kids at those tables anyway and if they give me any shit about I just say I'll leave when their crew arrives. They rarely do even though I get the stink-eye when I do it.

I think it sends a pretty crappy message to the kids about how (or how not) to be considerate.

About a month ago at Solitude, 300lb guy on 200cm straight skis, talking about how he hasn't skied in many years, looks and my skis and says " I think those fat skis cut deep trenches in the groomed runs "

On busy days at copper, ticket checkers wil scan tickets of everyone in the front of their respective queue's and then yell front line and everyone in front files in and the process is repeated. A group of guys in front who look like decent skiers in the queue closet to the lift get their tickets scanned and then just start to go, cutting my and my group off. The lifty says to them something like, "Wait for us to say 'front row' before you go" and gets them back in line. I overhear one in the group say, "but aren't we in the front row already?"

Then while we're waiting in line in front of them and while the lift is currently stopped, another yells, "hurry up, there's only four hours left to ski this season!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grrrr

-1 for families of gapers that find a table for 12 in the daylodge, dump all their gear and sack lunches and leave mom to hold the table all day, while people are eating their soup standing up because there are no tables.

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I love when people do that when I'm working... I'll go up to them, and tell whoever it is that its fine if they sit there, but if no one else is currently in the building they should either move all of the gear to one part of the table or leave. When they ask why, I just point around the room at everyone waiting to eat, and tell them that they do not own the table, have not rented the table, and must share the table like everyone else does.

When I'm not working I'll just sit down. If they say anything, I just tell them that until they can show me a deed saying that they have ownership of the table, I'll sit wherever the fuck I want to and if they don't like it they can leave. Or my favorite when I see one person hogging a table... I'll wait till they go to get something, then just dump all their shit on the ground as me and whomever I'm with just take over the table completely.

heard this at the bar lastnight

"I come here early season and late season, but im from new yawk, so i go everywhere."

he was hammered

today at closing day at Breck: In line at the Tbar with the Mrs. and DaHeel. Dude behind us looks at the sticker on DaHeels skis that says "Dick Cheney skis in Jeans" and says...."awwww, I ski in Jeans". He was wearing jeans....classic.

riding chair on pow day with uptight guy.

him: i own shares in this company and it's always the same, the patrol makes you wait until
they say it's ok to start the lift and it's never opened on time.

me: i think they do a pretty good job myself.

him: if the resort is supposed to open a 8:45 it should. the patrol needs to get their act
together.

it's been only a five minute wait while now as we ride up 18" of fresh snow passes beneath our feet.

me: you know if you feel that strongly about it maybe you should go somewhere else; you'd
be one less person here.

total silence rest of ride, thank you very much.

to a certain point he is right

"how do they keep snow on top of those?"
referring to one of the boxes in the park below.

Last week in Valdez over Breakfast in town Whats the Elvation here how far are we above Sea Level? I almost spit my Coffee all over the Table. Later that same person ask's the guide what Lake is that by the town does it connect with the Ocean?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Erls

... When I'm not working I'll just sit down. If they say anything, I just tell them that until they can show me a deed saying that they have ownership of the table, I'll sit wherever the fuck I want to and if they don't like it they can leave. Or my favorite when I see one person hogging a table... I'll wait till they go to get something, then just dump all their shit on the ground as me and whomever I'm with just take over the table completely.

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Nicely played! Are you a Dale Carnegie grad by any chance?