Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

Trying not to rely too hard on the brown booze but right now I'm not seeing a viable alternative. Tried the exercise route by long hikes with the dog while separated and found all I would do is bide time and miles on the trail till I could get home and have a drink. And re-start smoking. Awful I know. It was the only thing I could do to not be a snooping asshole.

But now that I crossed that bridge and affirmed my suspicions exercise looks about as enticing as banging a goat with digitaldeath's dick. Tried skiing when it was the end of the season and that didnt work either. First time in my life. I'm a wreck. But I dont want to go too far down the hole.

Stay busy. Maybe a new hockey league, disc golf, whatever you can do to stay out and busy. Get in the best shape of your life. Chicks will dig you and your ex will fuckin hate it. Hang in there.

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Originally Posted by m76b74

Trying not to rely too hard on the brown booze but right now I'm not seeing a viable alternative. Tried the exercise route by long hikes with the dog while separated and found all I would do is bide time and miles on the trail till I could get home and have a drink. And re-start smoking. Awful I know. It was the only thing I could do to not be a snooping asshole.

But now that I crossed that bridge and affirmed my suspicions exercise looks about as enticing as banging a goat with digitaldeath's dick. Tried skiing when it was the end of the season and that didnt work either. First time in my life. I'm a wreck. But I dont want to go too far down the hole.

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Buddy, I feel your pain. Take solace in whatever (for the first while), it helps but realize it's short term self-medication (and you're aware because you've said "you dont want to go too far down the hole". That's good, remember that.

Get a good lawyer quick. Write everything down. Use your friends to unload, use this board. Know that you're not alone!
And get ready to enjoy a bunch of new women, and find the one that you were looking for in the first place.

m76b74

You have to stay strong for the kid- can't be doing that if you are the parent with custody and especially you want to keep that privilege. It may make the pain go away for a few hours, but it is also sinking you into more depression.

Use the time to evaluate what is good about your life (hopefully your relationship is such that you and the kid have a good relationship and you can enjoy doing things with the little one.) Change up things that you can and try to be strong for the kid. Do not as much as you want to, poison the kid with negativity about your soon to be ex.

It's time to man up. You have a small window of opportunity to get a good lawyer and look out for yourself. When its over get a much younger girlfriend, buy some cool shit, and never look back. Time to put yoirself first.

This is a snapshot of your life right now and it will change

Lawyering up and getting your shit all in a row soonest can not be stressed enough

yes get the young GF even if you don't remember what to do with er

it will come back

If she is cheating on you, and you don't want to try to work things out with her, get the best legal counsel you can.
This will take stress off of you.
Let them do the work for you.
When you are thinking clearly do a inventory of your life and see what is missing.
Take positive steps towards changing what you are missing.
I can honestly say that skiing, surfing, motorcycle riding does not take the place of companionship.
Get yourself straightened out first then the rest will come naturally.
Wishing you a peaceful week .

Sorry.

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Originally Posted by m76b74

Did the one thing I said I'd never do and clicked on her location.

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Excuse the threadjack but what is this "clicked on location" thing? She sent you a text, and her phone was set up in some way where unbeknownst to her she incriminated herself? Who dreams up this crap?

Sorry.

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Originally Posted by TWINS

Take positive steps towards changing what you are missing.
I can honestly say that skiing, surfing, motorcycle riding does not take the place of companionship.

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IDK every situation is different I spent the last six years of my "marriage" figuring out how to make it without companionship. And it had a lot to do with hobbies. Again my situation sounds much different, YMMV.



Oh and there are some crazy chicks out there, and they look hot too. You have been warned....

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Originally Posted by EZB

Sorry.Excuse the threadjack but what is this "clicked on location" thing? She sent you a text, and her phone was set up in some way where unbeknownst to her she incriminated herself? Who dreams up this crap?

Sorry.

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Probably the Find My iPhone app.

Thank you all.

Forum is working really weird. my posts arent showing. Whatever.

First things first: Thank you all for the support. Long time mag here, too wrecked to make it public. If y'all will have me use this place to vent, so be it.

Mtngirl, props to your advice of getting at it when you dont want to.

as to the guilty snooping, iPhone 6s and same family plan as my "wife" so where she goes all you have to do is click on "details" in a text message to see where she is in the world. Creeper, I know.

on that note, she spent the entire morning with the man she spent the other night with (see above for proof) and was late for the arranged pick up of our son.

FUCK HER. Infedelity and non-truth has always been a big thing for me, and she knows that. Think she's pushing buttons.

Anyway, I appreciate y'all and I hate my life at the same time. cheers. bottoms, and bottoms up.

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Originally Posted by m76b74

Creeper, I know.

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Disagree. You had a suspicion and confirmed it. Not the same.

Hey, You did the right thing by checking that location, you were separated and she was being shifty. It has likely been "over" for a while and now it surely is so sack up and move on. Get off the brown or get some professional help to assist you in dropping it before you sink too low.



#toughlove

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

Oh and there are some crazy chicks out there, and they look hot too. You have been warned....

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Yes, yes there are, and it's more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

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Originally Posted by m76b74

as to the guilty snooping, iPhone 6s and same family plan as my "wife" so where she goes all you have to do is click on "details" in a text message to see where she is in the world. Creeper, I know.

on that note, she spent the entire morning with the man she spent the other night with (see above for proof) and was late for the arranged pick up of our son.

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I'm actually glad that I didn't know you could do that or else I probably would have choked my ex.

As for the second part document the shit out of this. Start a document with the date, time etc. and update it daily. It may not help but it makes it a lot easier for your lawyer.

Good luck and this place was a welcome respite from my shit during the divorce. I received multiple PM's from mags relating their stories and providing support. I've probably recommended this book here before but Pema Chodron's book When Things Fall Apart was a fairly easy read that helped a lot.

It's easy to get sucked down into the shit (booze, self-loathing, hating your wife) but try to make a conscious effort not to do that for you but especially for your kid. I know exercise doesn't take the place of companionship but it helped keep my mind from driving me crazy.

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Originally Posted by skiballs

Yes, yes there are, and it's more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

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The fun parts are fun the crazy parts can be terrifying.

Check to see if your health insurance pays for mental health counseling. We used that together and then separately.
It helped me to get feedback from someone not connected to the situation.
I sucks that she was so selfish to not wait for some kind of outcome. Just my thoughts as all that did is sabotage any easy chance of reconciliation.
Not sure if you are spiritual but I felt pretty good after leaving church on Sunday mornings. Always some nugget of positive info to think about. Wishing you a nice day ;)

Can't get shit to load right with this alias. Wtf Dunfee?

lower than low.

She has the kid, refuses to speak unless it's through an attorney because of the moderate requests my atty made regarding blocking her from using all our $ that she moved to a personal account w/o my knowledge. Also regarding seeing my son. Trusted her to do so when I handed him off.

Fuck me. This life just ain't worth livin.

edit: goddamn this forum now it shows posts newest to old.

Sucks, man. Patience is your best approach right now. Let the lawyer handle it, let her/him know what your concerns and needs are and wait it out. Excercise, friends, diversions.

I know it's hard, but it's gonna take time.

Hang in there. Document everything.

Hope you're doing OK bro. Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things WILL get better. Pulling for you man.

Make sure that you have a lawyer that knows what they're doing. Lots of lawyers dabble in family law, and some are bottom feeders. This shit is too important to be represented by someone who doesn't specialize in family law AND is good at it.

everything you do has to be for your child's best interest. including caring for yourself so you can do what you have to do. i am not minimizing any anger or hurt or anything else but you are the adult who got here and your child is the worst kind of innocent bystander. nobody's perfect and you don't have to be but you're setting an example and you have to save yourself and be as strong as you can be for your child's sake. be who you want to be starting now. you have a purpose and you can't take your eyes off that. i am telling myself the same thing. in a crisis you have to save yourself and the things that matter and cut everything else loose. i wish you the best.

And when you lawyer up get one that works with the judge that will be handling the case/courthouse.
He/she will know how to get the best outcome for you with that judge.
This was the best advice I was ever told by my paralegal.
Wishing you a happy Monday ;)