I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

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Originally Posted by Woodsy

My wife died her hair pink and it s not her. I cant get over it.

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No shit?? I too would not see that coming. Text me a pic.

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Originally Posted by oftpiste

Carpet match the drapes?

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If it’s pink. Poke it.

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Originally Posted by Woodsy

My wife died her hair pink and it s not her. I cant get over it.

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”If it’s green, smoke it. If it’s pink, poke it”
-Snoop

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Originally Posted by Harry

I’m looking forward to riser5. Full rotation. Like an airplane propeller.


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I was confident someone would make a treadmill joke.

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Originally Posted by basinbeater

Man. My wife has got to have a fucking screw loose. I just took the boys skates and mine to be sharpened yesterday. Today, she decides that she's going to spread everyone's hockey shit all over the driveway to "disinfectant in the sun.". So to make sure the skates get sun in the boot, she stood them all up on the blades on the concrete. The boy and I went outside and were like, what the fuck, and somehow i get yelled at for being annoyed that my blades are scratched up, because I really should be thanking her for disinfecting my hockey stuff and I should take better care of my stuff. Huh?. No. Don't touch my hockey stuff.

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sounds like you need some good old fashioned skate guards.

and if you actually communicate with your wife that sort of stuff just won’t be an issue

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Originally Posted by ~mikey b

and if you actually communicate with your wife that sort of stuff just won’t be an issue

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Nothing like divorced people popping in to act smug....

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Originally Posted by ironhippy

sounds like you need some good old fashioned skate guards.

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There is no smell quite as funky as dirty hockey gear

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Originally Posted by ~mikey b

and if you actually communicate with your wife that sort of stuff just won’t be an issue

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I don't pull her makeup shit out to reorganize. Pretty sure she would be pissed if I did.

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

There is no smell quite as funky as dirty hockey gear

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But it's had all summer to... sit in a bag in the corner of the garage.... lol

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Originally Posted by basinbeater

But it's had all summer to... sit in a bag in the corner of the garage.... lol

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I’m shocked that didn’t fix it!

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Originally Posted by ~mikey b

and if you actually communicate with your wife that sort of stuff just won’t be an issue

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Hey dear, you know those hockey skates I sharpened? Please don’t take them out onto the concrete driveway and scrape them up.


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thats just a simple/ cheap skate sharpening

my paddle budswife washed and dryed his drytop

the dryer heat ate the latex seals

replacing the neck and 2 wrists probably cost 150$

I’m not saying I’m perfect or anything

miscommunication isn’t good for a relationship - ask me how I know

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Originally Posted by ironhippy

sounds like you need some good old fashioned skate guards.

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I guess those are like the powder ribbons of ice skating?

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Originally Posted by Woodsy

My wife died her hair pink and it s not her. I cant get over it.

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no lovin till it's right. Then make sure the session is of the deluxe variety - YM will not V. Their may/will be some undo pressure with this option, but the results will last a lifetime.

or

f her but good and let her know it's like doing a whole different person... ymmv depending on where the moon is

I could've dropped this in tammy wynette but it made smile instead of grit my teeth
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Get a call from the 2ndX... idiot light for coolant is flashing on my 21yo's volvo. Okay, don't let him drive it and I'll stop by. 3 car household with a beater lexus for an airport car.

I get there the next day. 2Qts low on oil and Qt low on anti-freeze. I do my thing while she runs an errand in the beater (unspoken rule - we're never in each others company for to long).

She shows up after I lightly lambaste gepetosandue for his lazy approach to transportation while he monkeyz the car back into order. X reports the air-conditioning isn't working in the beater... and confidently says - is it possible it just needs a charge. Hmm, doesn't use the word Freon err nothin like that, but I was still a little taken aback given her naivete. I reply, yep - could be, I'll check it out.

Then the experience and wisdom surfaces as she casually states; can't you just put some "Anti-Freeze" in the beater to fix the AC? I'm frozen... stuck in time. I don't have a response. My head is spinning and my mouth isn't working - where do I take this... a managed to blurt out; they are different systems and make sure not to make any eye contact as I slink outta the garage.

My take-away... Ur never "unmarried" when there are kids and co-parenting responsibilities. Your just divorced from the terror of sharing the same space.

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Originally Posted by lifelinksplit

Nothing like divorced people popping in to act smug....

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Trust me, we've earned that privilege.

18 days into a 25 day trip to Yurp with the misses. Note to self, 2 weeks is quite enough of 24/7 with her.

Ha! When we're young, knowing your limits means speeding up to break them; when we're old, we need to avoid even coming close to them.

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Originally Posted by Supermoon

There is no smell quite as funky as dirty hockey gear

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How about shared intramural hockey gear?
Or the canyoneering shoes they rent to hike down the Virgin narrows in Zion NP? (We thought the shit bag had spilled in my back pack but it turned out it was just the shoes.)

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

My wife likes to ask me about random shit like credit card charges or shit on the calendar when I'm falling asleep late at night (9pm) with usually a pretty good buzz on. WTF Woman?!?!

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My wife does the same thing, but at like 6 in the morning (no buzz on though) when I'm still asleep. She got mad at me last week because I wasn't paying attention to her talk about office politics and said 'fine, I won't talk to you then.'
Haven't had this much sleep in a long time...

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

My wife likes to ask me about random shit like credit card charges or shit on the calendar when I'm falling asleep late at night (9pm) with usually a pretty good buzz on. WTF Woman?!?!

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Mrs. Plug will kinda saunter in and say:
“So…”
Oh fuck.
Here it comes.

Gepeto’s car story reminded me of this one…

My wife’s friend has gone totally overboard social justice warrior. She’s letting a homeless girl sleep in her van in their driveway. The girl asks me to jump the van so she can pull it to the other side of the street because they need the driveway. She admits that the alternator is broken, but swears that if I rev my truck and keep the jumpers hooked up for 20 or 30 minutes it will move the 30 feet necessary. I tell her I’ll buy the alternator and help her switch it out, but I’m not doing her plan. She and friend tell me that I’m a dick and should not mansplain car stuff to them. Okay, suit yourself. Go to dinner and get back and they have the two vehicles hooked up with jumper cables with neither of them on. Vehicles are communing in silence. They’re enjoying a nice chat waiting to see what might happen. I don’t say a word. My wife gives it to me the whole way home for not being more helpful.

Gee. I wonder why she’s homeless.
Dumb bitch. Can’t accept a free alternator? Wtf.