Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

I remember one tourist in GTNP asking if they "turn the Tetons off at night." None of us could quite figure out what that meant.

A buddy who worked in Yellowstone told a story about a couple park employees who had a wheel on a metal pole, and before Old Faithful erupted they ran out in front of a group of tourists and started cranking the wheel like they were turning it on. When the eruption was done, they turned the wheel the other way like they were turning it off, and then they got the hell out of there.

That's fucking awesome!
Speaking of which: hang out in West Yellowstone for about 5 minutes. There's bound to be some good ones.

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Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

The moose are on South facing aspects between 1 and 2 thousand meters.

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Attachment 156302

OOH! OOOH! TEACHER! CALL ON ME! I MEMORIZED A FACTOID! I'M NOT A GAPER! I'VE LIVED HERE 2 YEARS! I TELL YOU TO GET THE RED ONES ON TGR!

Best gaper quote of the weekend? Shit. Just look for whatever Stuckie posted on TGR, MTBR or ridemonkey. Guaranteed gapetastic while thinking self coresteezy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mrburns

Sea level to around 5000' - Deer
5000' to around 11'000' - elk

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stop making my head hurt.

We have Elk in Smoky Mtns NP. Once native, reintroduced.

A 14-year-old student of mine to me, while on expedition, during a chat about life goals and 'settling down':

"So, when are you going to stop being a douchebag?"


He meant dirtbag.

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Originally Posted by ODHGABFE

A 14-year-old student of mine to me, while on expedition, during a chat about life goals and 'settling down':

"So, when are you going to stop being a douchebag?"

He meant dirtbag.

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:nonono2: why did you bother posting this?

When I see that Gaper Quotes have made it back to the first page, my heart starts to beat faster, in anticipation of the tasty gaperness about to be revealed to me. So often I am disappointed.

summer quote ...

lady buys bear spray and asks how much to put on.

shop dude looks at her confussed ...

she thought it was like bug spray you put on yourself to keep them away !!!

shop dude couldn't stop smiling and laughing all day ...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shadam

summer quote ...

lady buys bear spray and asks how much to put on.

shop dude looks at her confussed ...

she thought it was like bug spray you put on yourself to keep them away !!!

shop dude couldn't stop smiling and laughing all day ...

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Not gonna lie. If I worked there I would've emphasized the importance of a good coating on the face.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shadam

summer quote ...

lady buys bear spray and asks how much to put on.

shop dude looks at her confussed ...

she thought it was like bug spray you put on yourself to keep them away !!!

shop dude couldn't stop smiling and laughing all day ...

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Excellen t

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shadam

summer quote ...

lady buys bear spray and asks how much to put on.

shop dude looks at her confussed ...

she thought it was like bug spray you put on yourself to keep them away !!!

shop dude couldn't stop smiling and laughing all day ...

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That is the sort of thing this thread was started for. :yourock:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shadam

summer quote ...

lady buys bear spray and asks how much to put on.

shop dude looks at her confussed ...

she thought it was like bug spray you put on yourself to keep them away !!!

shop dude couldn't stop smiling and laughing all day ...

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that's fucking hilarious. reminds me of the tourons in yellowstone. i would have told her it depends how big and how hungry the bear is.

Do NOT (under any circumstances) put bear spray on your genitalia.



This needs to be added to the warning label.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BigDaddy

Do NOT (under any circumstances) put bear spray on your genitalia.



This needs to be added to the warning label.

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That might actually be a great idea for a fund raiser--for testicle cancer perhaps--like the ice bucket challenge, only better.

I got sprayed in the face with bear spray once on purpose as part of a training. I can't recommend it. Testicles??? Man oh man...

Friend guided in AK, plane dropped off some NY yahoos for an unguided moose hunt(red flag #1). Pilot took off, and circled back to make sure everything was A-OK, and saw one of the dudes running in circles, stripping his clothes off, and diving in the lake.
He landed to see what the issue was, and much like above, the custy said "man, that bear repellent is a hell of a lot worse than mosquito repellent"

I wasn't quite that dumb, but close. I put it in my cargo pants pocket with safety off, then knelt to drink some water...

Pretty sure my feet never touched the ground until I hit Gunsight Lake.


Thank god those glaciers are made of ice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phall

Friend guided in AK, plane dropped off some NY yahoos for an unguided moose hunt(red flag #1). Pilot took off, and circled back to make sure everything was A-OK, and saw one of the dudes running in circles, stripping his clothes off, and diving in the lake.
He landed to see what the issue was, and much like above, the custy said "man, that bear repellent is a hell of a lot worse than mosquito repellent"

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Uh, isn't hunting without a guide illegal in a lot of places if you're not a resident of that place?

Not many things more exciting than when a can of bear spray goes off in the plane. Good times!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

There's a good-sized herd of Roosevelt elk up the California north coast around Humboldt County:
http://www.redwoods.info/showrecord.asp?id=481

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Heh, I had an up-close & personal with that herd back in the day. Crested a little hill around Orick doing ~90mph in my alfa @5AM, and there were several elk ~50yds ahead in the road. Slammed the brakes, hit the horns, closed my eyes and waited to die. Came to a stop sideways in the road without an elk in the front seat, so I cleaned up my pants & the upholstery & headed on up the road. And drove a shitload slower thru there after that :eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mrburns

Sea level to around 5000' - Deer
5000' to around 11'000' - elk
Depending on the aspect, any higher than that, most elk turn into caribou or reindeer

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Unless the ground is steep then they turn into Sidehill Gougers.

At what age does a MILF turn into a cougar?

You hunt MILF's. Cougars hunt you.

A MILF can be a cougar, but a cougar isn't necessarily a MILF.