Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[QUOTE=sbooy42;1706912]Me and a buddy were riding up with a couple @ Mary Jane and they asked us "how do they make all those bumps?" ...he told em they were big plastic humps that the resort brings out every fall and sets up all over the mountain.. then they put em all away in the spring....They responded " that must be a lot of work"

Actually not quite as far fetched as you may think. The only ski area in RI, haha if you can call it that, Yawgoo Valley, has been known to strategically place bails of hay and blow lots of snow on their only black diamond to form bumps since it isn't steep enough and there isn't enough snow to form bumps naturally.

At Bridger Bowl last weekend on my Gotamas, I got a new twist on an old classic:
"Those are some very thick skis."
Never heard that one before. There were also some sweet follow up questions (paraphrasing):
- What makes them good? (I'm sure my polite explanation was way over his head with concepts like "soft snow" and "stability".)
- Are they yours? (What the...? Yes, I own them.)

Gaping Texan commenting on an avi cannon (with empty shells sitting next to it):
Wow, snow guns look more and more like howitzers these days.
:nonono2:

^^^because they are?

On a positive note: I'm traversing into Cold Spring at Moonlight, and A dude in front of me has a Bulls jacket and a furry hat. At the end of the traverse, he says "looks like this is the end of the line." I'm about to make a comment about him maybe not supposed to be here. Then he proceeds to actually ski it pretty well. Good for him. Saw a guy with jeans and rear-entry boots, but didn't have a camera.
We really should be so snobby. They're just out there having fun, and don't necessarily have the latest gear. Unless they're from texas and are thrunting up the pow. Then it's no mercy.

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Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

^^^because they are?

On a positive note: I'm traversing into Cold Spring at Moonlight, and A dude in front of me has a Bulls jacket and a furry hat. At the end of the traverse, he says "looks like this is the end of the line." I'm about to make a comment about him maybe not supposed to be here. Then he proceeds to actually ski it pretty well. Good for him. Saw a guy with jeans and rear-entry boots, but didn't have a camera.
We really should be so snobby. They're just out there having fun, and don't necessarily have the latest gear. Unless they're from texas and are thrunting up the pow. Then it's no mercy.

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But it's a POWDER AREA!

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Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

I'm traversing into Cold Spring at Moonlight, and A dude in front of me has a Bulls jacket and a furry hat. At the end of the traverse, he says "looks like this is the end of the line." I'm about to make a comment about him maybe not supposed to be here. Then he proceeds to actually ski it pretty well. Good for him. Saw a guy with jeans and rear-entry boots, but didn't have a camera.
We really should be so snobby. They're just out there having fun, and don't necessarily have the latest gear.

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Really, only a complete gaper thinks someone else is a gaper because of what they're wearing or skiing on.

get a lotta q's asking if you can really ski fakie on twins.

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Originally Posted by WALKER TEXAS RANGER

get a lotta q's asking if you can really ski fakie on twins.

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Then stop fucking skiing them.

..................WTF?

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Originally Posted by WALKER TEXAS RANGER

..................WTF?

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Kidding!

at the Beav today, someone asked DaHeel if he had a snorkel.....he was wearing his avalung pack.

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Originally Posted by KungFu Eddie

Heard a couple of good ones at St Moritz a couple of years ago.

English lady with the poshest voice you have ever heard "where have you boys been skiing?"
Us Aussie dirtbags "over there" pointing to a small powder bowl between two groomers
English lady "ooo I never go off piste without my guide"

About ten mins later at the top of the chair we see a family group lead by a hard arse british army looking guy with a mostache. His family look so depressed. We soon found out why when he poled away bellowing at the top of his lungs "BEGIN". It became our chant for the rest of the trip.

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As well it shall be mine, "BEGIN", BEGIN DAME YOU !!!!!!! ;)

Variation on the Mogul Question. Some New Yorker asks his friend "How do the snow cats groom diffrent style moguls and are they the same ones that make cordouroy?" His friend didn't even answer.

I was laughing too hard to try to make a smart ass comment.

Two gapers go skiing in 80's ski suits and rear entry boots and at the end of the day in the parking lot I hear the woman say, "Honey, is this our car?"

Also another one, we're at Magic on 3/1 with 19 inches of new snow and at the top of the red chair we're cutting GS turns down and this gaper lady flags us down and asks, "Are you guys headed to the magic carpet?"

Old guy gets on the chair with me, he has a huge grin on his face as it is a beautiful day out, and just before he starts talking to me I noticed the "80 year-old skiers club" sticker on his helmet. Badass.

Then, he throws this at me, with a hearty old man laugh:

"I wonder what poor people are doing today, eh? Probably waiting in life for their welfare check!"

He starts laughing his ass off and I have no idea how to respond. I couldn't figure out if he was actually making fun of poor people, or if I missed some joke and just got owned by an old guy. He spent the rest of the lift ride telling me war stories.

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Originally Posted by dipstik

Old guy gets on the chair with me, he has a huge grin on his face as it is a beautiful day out, and just before he starts talking to me I noticed the "80 year-old skiers club" sticker on his helmet. Badass.

Then, he throws this at me, with a hearty old man laugh:

"I wonder what poor people are doing today, eh? Probably waiting in life for their welfare check!"

He starts laughing his ass off and I have no idea how to respond. I couldn't figure out if he was actually making fun of poor people, or if I missed some joke and just got owned by an old guy. He spent the rest of the lift ride telling me war stories.

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At least he got the memo about not using racial slurs on the chair lift...:nonono2:

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Originally Posted by xksrx

Another day at Slowmass, a hot chick form somewhere down south on the VX says, "This sucks, there are so many lines on the trails," pointing to the corduroy under the lift.

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I believe you just got jonged, ON the ski lift no less.

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Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth

Also another one, we're at Magic on 3/1 with 19 inches of new snow and at the top of the red chair we're cutting GS turns down and this gaper lady flags us down and asks, "Are you guys headed to the magic carpet?"

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JONG joins TGR then posts about making super gnar GS turns at Magic.

Oh wait, that was you..........................

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Originally Posted by Laxsnowskisquatch

Variation on the Mogul Question. Some New Yorker asks his friend "How do the snow cats groom diffrent style moguls and are they the same ones that make cordouroy?" His friend didn't even answer.

I was laughing too hard to try to make a smart ass comment.

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Breckenridge used to make bump lines for the world cup every year, when they had the event on Pk 9. They used a cat going up at an angle then went up again at the opposite angle.

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Originally Posted by KillingCokes

Breckenridge used to make bump lines for the world cup every year, when they had the event on Pk 9. They used a cat going up at an angle then went up again at the opposite angle.

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I've been told they do this at Okemo too.

NOt a quote, but gapers always seem to bring bottle water with them to the mountains like their getting ready for a nuclear war or something. I work at a hotel in squaw and we have some of the best water in the country from the tap out of artisian wells no chemicles added and gapers still insists of bringing cases of evian, and aquafina. Waste of plastic.

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Originally Posted by T-Boz

NOt a quote, but gapers always seem to bring bottle water with them to the mountains like their getting ready for a nuclear war or something. I work at a hotel in squaw and we have some of the best water in the country from the tap out of artisian wells no chemicles added and gapers still insists of bringing cases of evian, and aquafina. Waste of plastic.

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i hear that, people bug out when they come up from nj to vt and i tell them the cabin gets water from a well, it is really good.

they look at me funny and go straight for the poland spring.

At Squatters, SLC:

Me: "Good weekend to pick to come out to Utah."
Gaper: "It's not bad, kinda cold."
Me: "Yeah, it's chillier than it's been. Where have you been skiing?"
Gaper: "Deer Valley. What's the local's picks around there?"
Me: "At DV? uhhhhh, I hear the trees stay pretty good. I never ski there."
Gaper: "Why not? Where do you ski?"
Me: "LCC....Alta and Snowbird"
Gaper: "I don't get it. Everybody always talks about Snowbird. I went there once, and it f*cking sucked. They don't groom sh*t."
Me: "Where are you from?"
Gaper: "Connecticut."
Me: "Thanks for the beer."

Not a quote, but more something I saw happen.

Standing in like to have my ticket scanned, I catch a gaper skiing up, ticket taker asks for his ticket, he pulls up his jacket to reveal..

His ticket (a day pass) is stuck on his wicket, except unlike the traditional way to do it, he has not removed the covering one the sticky stuff, he has simply speared it through the part where hte wicket comes open, and bent it around so it doesn't come off.

The scanner dude takes a look at it and says
"Uh oh your ticket isn't on right, let me help you there"
He proceeds to put it on the right way while the gaper stands there with an ill be danged face on.