Quotes from the Chairlift: 05-06 Edition

The last two times I have been to Vail, once on opening day when I left for Loveland because the lines were insane:

Woman standing at the back of a two hour long liftline telling someone, "Vail, its the best skiing, the best dining, the best architecture"

Upon being overheard discussing and then leaving the two hour long liftline for a much shorter drive to Loveland for what ended up being a great day of skiing we were loudly scoffed at by a bunch of gapers for departing the misery. That was a classic. Later heard from numerous folks that the day was in fact, worse than even a normal Vail day.

Fast forward a couple years to last winter. Vail, opening day. Actually a pretty good day other than the fact that all the powder was skied out by 11 and the back bowls were burning from first tracks. On lift with friend and an older seemingly wealthy couple, after short discussion on the day, woman declares, "Vail, its the best of the best"

Hmm...
:rolleyes:

I grew up skiing taos a lot with my dad. We teamed up with dude in a 10-gallon cowboy hat, single digit weather, in a sweet pink and yellow and black one piece, to fill a triple.

Dad: "Hi"
One-Piece : "Wulllllllll.... how thua heyyyyllll arrrreee yoooo dooinnnn?"
Dad: "Visiting from Dallas?"
One-Piece : "Wulllll.... how thua heYYYllll did yewwww know thayhut?
Dad: "lucky guess"

One more. I was at Alpine Meadows a few seasons ago, a friend and I sharing Summit Six with a few others, one of which had snow blades on.

Me: "how do you get any edge control on firm snow with those?"
Sno Blade : "I used to be an expert skier, and I definitely feel like I have more control on steep icy slopes with these than with a longer ski"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Core Shot

Pepi Stiegler: "You boys. Don't smoke that shit on MY lift. Go smoke that shit in the woods"

---

Bwaaaaa.....perfect.

Not realy a quote, but I was getting on a lift at Deer Valley 7-8 years ago with the ex, and realized I was a chair behind Stein. (hair was friggin perfect, all the latest Bogner, but, damn, he looked good [at first, I thought he was a well kept older woman - benny's mind was being fucked with]). Decided to follow him with well kept older couple he was riding with - hey, ski with Stein!- but he proceeded to lead them on a real estate tour of ski/out properties. good lord.

OK. Time for an update.

Riding Vista Bahn up the front side of Vail with the missus. We don't know Vail for shit, and have a map out to look at the lay of the land. Dude sharing our chair proceeds to drop all kinds of knowledge on us, including the following:

"Definitely head back to Blue Sky Basin. It's basically lift-served backcountry."

(BWA!)

"When you're on the chair to Blue Sky, turn around and check out the Back Bowls. You won't see anything else like it in all of North America."

The wife actually laughed at him. :fm:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

Some guy asked me where they put the moguls in the summer.

Wait, that wasn't me.

---

Had some guys ask us the same thing up in Jackson. None of us could stop laughing long enough to come up with a response. It was hilarious.

Riding up jersey cream with an 8 year old kid, he points at my gotamas, "those are fat skis, but my dad's are fatter"

On blackcomb gondola last weekend-

Man in Fartbag: I had THREE collisions yesterday!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by trouble

Riding up jersey cream with an 8 year old kid, he points at my gotamas, "those are fat skis, but my dad's are fatter"

---

I laughed!

Nothing quite like skiing deep powder in Michigan, yeeeeeeeup, doesn't get any beter than this.

About 4 times this season while using my Mojo 90 skis
(fyi one is orange the other is dark blue)

People: "Are those Denver Bronco skis?"


i was nice to them all cause I dont like being an ass unless its absolutely necessary

Stowe Gondola:

14yo kid to another 14 yo kid:

"Dude, don't light that, there's a no smoking sticker."

Shmerham & I with a couple of his non Maggot friends last weekend at Jay. It snowed for a couple of hours and made probably 3" - 4" of heavy new snow.

Gaper Dude "I can't believe how much better the coverage is now than this morning!"

SOCO during our recent 100 inch delight...

"I wish it would only snow at night."

and later in the restroom, kid cleaning ice from his long wet wavy hair, "Now I understand the helmet thing."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bigtrubs

On blackcomb gondola last weekend-

Man in Fartbag: I had THREE collisions yesterday!

---

I think this one makes me laugh the most. Great find, Bigtrubs.

i was on a lift with these two random guys and one of them farted pretty damn loud and didnt really acknowledge it like it was nothing. i almost fell off the lift.

any comment about bad visibility on the Lenawee lift at abasin. Gets me every time.

I get alot of them on my carving board:
"dude, you broke the tail off your board"
"how can you ride with your feet turned that way"
"are those ski boots on your snowboard"
and the classic - 5 times in one day at Bachelor last month...
"How do you like your Monoski?"

30 something guy to me "how long have you been snowboarding?"

Me "I dunno, about twenty years..."

"Oh, cm'on now....those things were only invented in 1986!..no, really, how long?":rolleyes2

This was a few years ago....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by powder11

my last lift ride was july 4th on the showcase t-bar when 99.9% of the glacier is infested with camp kids. the 9yr old kid I rode up with asked me what camp I was in. I told him I wasn't in a camp. the little bastard replied "you look to old to be in a camp"

---

That one actually made me laugh my ass off.

I just get a bunch of people commenting on how fat my skis are, and I ride 8800's....they're not even close to being fat.

Haven't heard it myself, from a buddy working Jackson's tram in the summer:

"At what elevation do the deer turn to elk?"

Overheard a conversation between 2 white kids at my local midwestern hill. I don't know what it was about, but it ended with

"Whatever, I'm half Mexican, nigga!" :rolleyes:

I was chatting with a couple 13 year olds on the lift about where else they had skied this year. They asked where I skied. When I said, "Whistler" one of the kids said "yeah, Canadian girls have some sweet pussies" in the most matter of fact tone. All I could say was, "true dat."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Platinum Pete

I was chatting with a couple 13 year olds on the lift about where else they had skied this year. They asked where I skied. When I said, "Whistler" one of the kids said "yeah, Canadian girls have some sweet pussies" in the most matter of fact tone. All I could say was, "true dat."

---

lol, from the mouths of babes.:biggrin:

On the quad with 3 senior skiers. They start bitching about how Whistler "took away" a groomed run for all those snowboarders, referring to the terrain park. We crest the hill over the terrain park and there's not a single boarder in there just skiers.

I saw this from the chair, but it's still priceless: A dad and a son were on the trail below the chair which had stalled for a second. The dad has this 7 year old on a steep, bumped-out section and the kid bails, and double ejects right in front of the Dad. Here's how it went...

Dad: What the hell are you doing!?
Kid: Daaad, I don't like this trail
Dad (in a fey, wussy voice): I'm you, I can't ski, ohhhhhh, this trail is too hard (then back to regular dad voice) I'm dad, I'm amazing, I rip everything on the mountain.

Then he just skis away.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Platinum Pete

I was chatting with a couple 13 year olds on the lift about where else they had skied this year. They asked where I skied. When I said, "Whistler" one of the kids said "yeah, Canadian girls have some sweet pussies" in the most matter of fact tone. All I could say was, "true dat."

---

damn, that made me laugh out loud (almost as hard as the wild turkey attacks in Iowa thread yesterday )

On the t-bar at breck i was riding up with some guy (his first time on a t-bar:nonono2: ) and He asked if I skied the blues and blacks. I replied that i skied pretty much everywhere on the mountain. He replied "The people who ski blues and blacks seem to talk more than people who just ski greens."

At PCMR this year, my friend and I are riding up the charilift and the snowboarders next to us start talking about how sick the backcountry is today, but how they want to go through the park one more time (it was somewhat of a powder day) and then head back out to the backcountry.

I turn and ask, "How do you get to the backcountry?"

"Oh you can get there lots of ways, the best area though is right up here" He then proceeds to point out a short tree shot that is accessed under the lift we are on and couldn't be more in-bounds

The rest of the day every run was we took was deemed 'backcountry'

I was riding the Silver Queen at Crested Butte (former home of Michael Keaton) and this angry old relic with 220 downhill skies rants almost the entire way up: "I just smoked Batman's ass soooooooo bad!!!!"..... He was so fired up he said it at least fifty times... I'm pretty sure it wasn't Jack Nicholson.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Out_to_lunch

He replied "The people who ski blues and blacks seem to talk more than people who just ski greens."

---

Classic. :smile:

On a sick deep (by Aspen standards) day at Highlands I hear some guy telling his freinds, "No locals ski on days like this. Since they can ski all season they wait for the weather to be good"

At A-Basin I'm riding up with a Springer (someone from colorado springs) and hes wearing a hot pink snowsuit. Were talking about Brec and he says, "I dont like the skiing at Breckenridge to much, but the shopping is just fantastic." Gay guy from colorado springs wearing a hot pink snowsuit is a sight to see.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dblatto

I saw this from the chair, but it's still priceless: A dad and a son were on the trail below the chair which had stalled for a second. The dad has this 7 year old on a steep, bumped-out section and the kid bails, and double ejects right in front of the Dad. Here's how it went...

Dad: What the hell are you doing!?
Kid: Daaad, I don't like this trail
Dad (in a fey, wussy voice): I'm you, I can't ski, ohhhhhh, this trail is too hard (then back to regular dad voice) I'm dad, I'm amazing, I rip everything on the mountain.

Then he just skis away.

---

That's fucking classic.

"Those are some fat skis for a telewhacker."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dblatto

I saw this from the chair, but it's still priceless: A dad and a son were on the trail below the chair which had stalled for a second. The dad has this 7 year old on a steep, bumped-out section and the kid bails, and double ejects right in front of the Dad. Here's how it went...

Dad: What the hell are you doing!?
Kid: Daaad, I don't like this trail
Dad (in a fey, wussy voice): I'm you, I can't ski, ohhhhhh, this trail is too hard (then back to regular dad voice) I'm dad, I'm amazing, I rip everything on the mountain.

Then he just skis away.

---

Penny to a pound that was a mag :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by A-wreck

Nothing quite like skiing deep powder in Michigan, yeeeeeeeup, doesn't get any beter than this.

---

That was you I rode the lift with??? :D ;) :p

This wasn't on a chair lift, but is worth mentioning...

I am in a condo in Vail late one Sunday evening. The pass is closed, I can't get home and I have to work early the next day. I am hanging with friends of friends for the evening. I have just had an incredible day, 1-2 feet and still snowing, I am reveling at how good the day was.

Cool dude from CA says to me "Do you know when this is going to be really good?"

Me: (thinking I missed the weather and it is going to snow all week) "When?"

CA guy: "Wednesday or Thursday when this is all packed down and groomed real nice".

Me: "uhhh, you are missing the point here I think."

This is from a few years ago, but riding the snowbird tram w/ an agro backcounty buddy... A mother on a tourist ride points to two teleskiers ands says to her daugher "See look them. They are on cross country skis".

The diatribte explaining the diff between xc and tele skiing didn't happen, but was very close. I could feel it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hugh Jass

Any other priceless chairlift quotes in this young season?

---

Well, don't have anything from a lift...

...so I'm standing at the top of East Castle (Alta) shooting some pics. This other dude is up there squaking about what an extreme skier he is, and telling me how often he skis and hikes all over the place at Alta, and then he asks me "do you know where you are at?", as if I don't know...like I'm stranded and lost or something. Then he looks at my AT set-up and says "Oh, you're on telemark skis"....and then he skis away. What a dork!

Seems like once a month, while standing around with my camera hanging from my neck, either adjusting the settings or setting-up a shot, some idiot will stop and ask me something like "are you all right?"...like I might be injured or something. Half tempted to reply..."No, I'm just STANDING here playing with a camera because I have a BROKEN FEMUR, dumbass!"

-Astro