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I’m talking more about how the power of mainstream culture to create perceptions of reality is insane. Much has been written about how The Apprentice created the perception that Trump has business acumen.
But yeah these days it’s poorly informed kooks that have popular podcasts that are driving mainstream culture.
We have friends living in the boonies outside Santa Fe. Not gated, not fancy, but definitely private. It could take them a long time to be found. Or my wife and I in our house in Truckee a few feet from the neighbors--renters we never see on one side, vacation renters on the other. That's why we pay someone to clean the house--to find our bodies. It doesn't help that Truckee has hanta, we have mice, and my wife took a dead one from the dog a couple days ago.
That’s an interesting link. It seems to kind of overreach in a lot of places, but there’re some nuggets.Quote:
Originally Posted by kootenayskier
My house is less than 3 miles from the Hackman place and it’s more likely than not that it’ll be a few days before I’m missed/found if I keel over. At least my cat’ll have something to eat.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
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Such a sad end to life. Dying from a virus possibly not knowing and mindlessly due to alzhiemers not knowing what is happening as you die of thirst</p>
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The Duck</p>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUj5YvFgyK4</p>
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Love me some X-Files</p>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNjqobBRi3E</p>
Meadow Skipper--cats are picky eaters. It would probably rather starve.Apparently being sick enough to die without calling for help is a NM thing, guy just died in NM from measles diagnosed by autopsy. Never sought medical care.
I love cats. I think they are great pets. But I’ve seen clips of people whose job it is to go in and deal with/clean up dead people who weren’t found for a long time and they say a cat waits less than a day before deciding you’re no longer the one that brings the food but instead you are now the food. Dogs stay loyal. This actually isn’t that surprising given their personalities.
I think plenty of elderly die alone in their homes and are not found for several days. It happened to an old coworker of mine, my friend’s neighbor, and my next door neighbor. My former coworker was found by a friend (she was pretty social), and my friend found his neighbor when checking in on her. Both died from injuries, dehydration, and starvation resulting from a fall.
My next door neighbor in north Oakland died in their house sitting on their recliner chair. She was discovered because my cat was inside the house with her, screaming at a window, was seen by a neighbor who figured something wasn’t right, opened a window after nobody answered the door, and realized something was really wrong :(. Our cat had been missing for a few days. We think the neighbor semi adopted our cat (lots of people did this to that cat), fed, and gave her water.
We didn’t know my mom had died for over two weeks. She got sick, didn’t go to the doctor, turned into pneumonia, game over. Not a pretty sight but the cats didn’t mess w her. It’s pretty common for old people to avoid calling for help and then it’s too late
This has been a concern for my parents. Mom has been prone to falls the last year or two. Dad is in beginner stages of Alzheimer's. But his short term memory is so bad that if she fell in the bathroom, basement or other out of sight spot he wouldn't know to be concerned that he hadn't seen her recently and wouldn't think to look for her. They both refuse to wear their hearing aids so he may not hear her hollering. We got her a medic alert necklace with automatic fall detection which has worked as intended a time or two. But she doesn't always "remember" to wear it. Between calls home from me and my sister and asking neighbors to stop in regularly to say hello hopefully we'd discover an issue pretty soon. But it's still concerning anytime we call when they don't answer when they should be home.
My dad eventually moved into out inlaw apt, but even though it was right downstairs, eventually I put a couple of cameras down there so I could check in if I heard a crash or something without constantly going down there to investigate. Worked great
That hit a little close to home. Some time back I had an abdominal pain that was bothering me for a couple days. One day I had to skip my daily run and in the middle of that night I was making such weird noises my wife made me get up out of bed and took me to the hospital. Turned out to be a ruptured appendix. Might not have turned out well if we’d been a couple hours out of town, instead of ten minutes from the ER.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
When I was ten my buddy and I went to this local guys house to fish, he had ponds where he raised trout. We knocked on his door to ask him if it was okay like we usually did but no answer. We walked behind the house to see if he was out back and we saw him sitting at the kitchen table through the window. We yelled and banged on the window to no avail, he was older so thought he didn’t hear us. My buddy gave me a boost to look inside and get his attention. When I looked inside I saw that he was clearly dead and had been for some time. All bloated up and shit. We rode home to tell our folks, the sheriff said he’d likely been dead a week or more.
You know, there’s something appealing to die relatively quickly sitting at home rather than going slowly all hooked up to machines in some institution where nothing is familiar or comforting. Seems like it anyway.
I concur
OTOH, it seems like Gene probably died of discovering his wife's body over and over until his heart gave out.
I just can’t imagine what his last days were like. Really adds some meaning to the phrase RIP - the Peace part.Quote:
Originally Posted by jono
well he probably would not remember ^^ a local old guy was close to 100 and had lost it completely so the son had to put little reminders around the house that his wife was dead because he forgot and so every time he found out she was dead it was for the first time which was very sad for dad.
Dad would ride his trike right into highway traffic or fall off people would call the son to tell him what they seen dad do so son took the trike away I asked how dad feels about that and apparently dad dosent remember he had a trike
My mom had an alert device. She fell and broke her pelvis but refused to use the alert. Fortunately she was found the next day by her caregiver. Mom said she didn't use it because she didn't want to go to the ER You mean if you're dying you just want to be kept comfortable? No, I want everything done, I just don't want to go to the ER. Uh, that's not how it works Mom.
Our friend, 6'6, has Parkinson's/ He started falling a lot. His wife put in cameras to keep an eye on him when she was out. She showed us a video of him tumbling literally head over heels from top to bottom of a very long ,steep, hard staircase and get up without a scratch on him. Eventually they had to move down to Reno and a one story house. Meadow Skipper--there's a reason married men live longer than single men. Men are too stupid to go to the doctor when they're sick.
My mom had an alert device. She fell and broke her pelvis but refused to use the alert
my mom wouldn't get an alert device probably becuz of $$$ even tho she had LOTS of money she also wouldn't take the blood thinners she was prescibed by a really good GP cuz she seen something on TV that said they were bad
Mom collapsed and spent I think 17 hrs on the kitchen floor, injury induced demntia, yadayada gone in about 3 months I am spending all that money she didnt spend and have paid off my house
My father had sepsu on his leg due ti neglect
both my parents could have should have lasted longer but did not due to self induced tramua
Clearly I’m in no position to offer a serious counter-argument.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
But if women are so smart why do they hang out with men?
So they can get jars opened.
We clean up dog poop, take out the trash, etc etc.
More and more young women arent, and more and more young men are becoming raging misogynists because of it, and more and more young women arent, and...Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
Don't worry, the AI sex robots are coming soon.
I fear my parents will end up with a similar fate. The older I get, the more I keep learning how old people can just be stubborn AF. And it doesn't seem to be for lack of wanting to live better. They just don't listen to ANY advice. I mean, I guess maybe they've earned that right, BUT geez it gets annoying. My grandma and more recently my wife's grandma both REFUSED to go into any assisted living. But then they'd want us all to drop everything and zoom over every time something happened. We'd go over, identify all sorts of issues, try and help make their lives better, but nope. They don't wanna hear none of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by XXX-er
Ended up being the death of my grandmother. Her yard was totally dead, needed watering. We offered to pay for an irrigation system and everything. Told her we'd totally take care of it all. She refused for all sorts of nonsensical reasons. She ended up tripping over the garden hose watering her muddy yard, broke her hip. Done after the usual downward spiral. I couldn't help but be annoyed since it was her stubbornness that killed her. This wasn't the only thing she was stubborn about. Just the last.
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My dad started exhibiting some dementia a few years ago. He lived alone for almost 10 years after his last partner died. Luckily his frugality outweighed his stubbornness and we convinced him to sell his house at the height of the market and move into an independent living facility. The last 2 1/2 years of his life were magical. He made friends, was as social as he had ever been, participated in all the activities, etc. When he was in hospice, several staff came to visit him. Being from a small family, this meant a lot.
I try and share his story with everyone with an older parent. Leaving their home can open up so many opportunities for older folks who need more socialization. Good luck to any of you who are in a tough situation with elderly parents.
I’ve known many oldsters that were dragged to assisted living against their protests, but they ended up loving it. Not all of them, but success rate is pretty high
I think a lot of older people, specifically once they see a friend or two go off to the hospital and never come back, would rather die on their kitchen floor than spend a couple weeks or months in an ICU or hospice. Once you go in you lose the ability to make most of the decisions and I have to think that sucks hard.
You obviously don’t work in a hospital. We’re full of people on life sustaining care that should be on comfort care.
My parents have been working on end of life stuff so this doesn't happen. It's uncomfortable, but I'm glad they're being proactive about it. I guess if your parents aren't, you should be. (I mean the in general you).Quote:
Originally Posted by AdironRider
End of life decisions used to seem so far away. My parents are long gone. And now I'm middle aged.
don’t jinx yourself bro
Meadow Skipper--there's a reason married men live longer than single men. Men are too stupid to go to the doctor when they're sick
I don't need to go to the MD cuz i have a medical consultant who does wellness checks but really he wants an espresso or glass of pinot grigio
Buddy seems to be in shit alot cuz an anesthetist is practiclly a surgeon or at least he hung out a lot with Surgeons who were highly trained in not having a bedside manner
So he talks about his S.O. I ask him how he feels, he gets the espresso or glass of good NZ pinot grigio , when he leaves note to self fuck glad I am single and so I feel better about myself
Partnered men live longer because someone's always gotta bring the salad when you do dinner for 2.
yer MD has already told you to lose 15lbs so you go out to dinner & still eat half her food
But we split a salad
My mother was so hard on my Dad who was not a bad guy that altho he was gona die of sepsis to his leg he didnt wana live anyway the very last time I looked in his eyes before the big hit of morphine they were saying wtf
I will live longer by reading about other men partnered with wives giving them shit
K, well, can you pick up some 50/50 spring mix and baby spinach on your way?Quote:
Originally Posted by XXX-er