The Midlife Club

It's too easy to get stuck in a rut when you're just clocking in and out of the day. Seek magic, seek community, explore. We can still take chances even holding down the 925, there's so much out there to see and do, especially in the PNW.

Yeah, I'm in the final quarter, a bad knee, holes opening up where kids had been, current and pending complexities with the inlaws and extended family. But I'm still searching and maybe the fact that I am driven to balance the sensible with the stupid keeps me wondering. Wondering is key. Like learning how to frame, design crazy hanging staircases, not being hemmed in by the practical and known or isolation.

I agree that it is a lot about challenging ourselves. Think widely about how to do that, especially in the nonpractical vectors.

It's also about community and connectedness which for some is elusive and requires recasting of nets and resorting priorities.

I hear this loud and clear.

I make my work harder than it needs to be, just for this reason. I can't just coast, like most of the others in my company. I am always reinventing how I do the job. That said, I have been remote for 27 years, so it was always part of the job. If you weren't a self starter, you fail.

I don't golf. Apparently that is all my peers have for hobbies.
I don't live near mountains.
Fishing is fun, but it is a lot of work too. I tend to prefer sneaking into mangroves and just fly fishing, usually not catching much, but practicing casting.

I decided to rebuild a 1995 Ford Bronco. That has been a really fun diversion, and unlike most of my work, I can see progress and feel a sense of accomplishment. At work, I constantly have 15-20 construction projects running consecutively. When one finishes, another 3 start. You never feel finished, and then the year ends, and the company rewards your efforts with a higher quota and the chance to do it all again. The Bronco treats me better. Effort is paid off with a nice drive and lots of thumbs up from old(er) men and rednecks.

Get yourself a fulfilling hobby is what I guess I am saying.

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Originally Posted by warthog

I don't golf.

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Don't you live on a golf course?

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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

You’ve never heard of Lagom have you?

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The ability to remain calm while assembling infuriatingly cheaply built furniture.

I’ve never been in an IKEA store, what am I missing?


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Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn

I’ve never been in an IKEA store, what am I missing?


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endangered species turned into disposable furniture

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Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

It's too easy to get stuck in a rut when you're just clocking in and out of the day. Seek magic, seek community, explore.

I agree that it is a lot about challenging ourselves. Think widely about how to do that, especially in the nonpractical vectors.

It's also about community and connectedness .

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Fucking exactly.

Want to feel young again? Do something you suck at. Making knives has been a revelation for me, going against the grain of everything I'm good at and forcing me to really concentrate on things I've inherently avoided or limped around.





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Plus one family enjoying tax exempt status through layers of "foundations" while operating two lines of popular for profit furniture stores.

Does it have to be something new? I've sucked at lots of things for decades!

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Originally Posted by Ted Striker

Does it have to be something new? I've sucked at lots of things for decades!

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Yeah. I mean, I've sucked at most things I do. You gotta find something totally new to really appreciate the suck of a new attempt at nonsuckiness.

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Originally Posted by Ted Striker

Does it have to be something new? I've sucked at lots of things for decades!

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Aren’t you a pilot?

https://youtu.be/FvsbTxZZgxM?si=NvgZPA4XU2VamQDw

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Originally Posted by yeahman

Gratitude is the attitude. Careful what you wish for or life might throw something at you that's actually worth worrying about.

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^^^this

I had cancer last year. Life looks different now.

But yeah, I too need a project of some sort regardless. I need to be constantly learning or I get bored. Right now I’m building a snowcat ground up, 100% DIY. It’s hard, slow process but occupies my mind appropriately.

Early 40's, actually loving things now that the kids are out of the super young stage. Sucking at a bunch of stuff, but getting back into good shape and doing fun things with everyone.
I think it just feels worse as there's very little "new" as compared to younger days. By this point, you probably have a level of expertise in something, so seeing it done badly or fighting the same fight for the 1000th time feels a lot worse than the first 100 or so times you dealt with it. Similarly, you see new things with more of an eye of skepticism given how many have burned you in the past. Recovery is harder. Things hurt. The easy thing is to stop trying quite so hard to protect yourself, but by the same token you now have the skills to pursue things more safely and productively.

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Originally Posted by Trackhead

^^^this

I had cancer last year. Life looks different now.

But yeah, I too need a project of some sort regardless. I need to be constantly learning or I get bored. Right now I’m building a snowcat ground up, 100% DIY. It’s hard, slow process but occupies my mind appropriately.

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Always like hearing about your DIY projects.

I’ve always tried to be involved in some sort of community non profit or informal group that helps others. My grandfather was a big golfer—definitely a main interest during retirement—but I’ll always remember him as the guy who in his 90s (living alone by then) would volunteer his time at the retirement home occasionally playing board games or taking people for a walk or whatever.

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Originally Posted by AK47bp

Aren’t you a pilot?

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This might be the single best post I've read in a while.

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Originally Posted by AK47bp

Aren’t you a pilot?

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I seen " Airplane " a couple of times

shirley I should have got the joke but I missed the Ted Striker connection until buddy told me ... it was too obscure for me

What's our vector, Victor?

You know, on the subject, that pilot that tried to crash the plane a while back? I totally felt for him. The amount of unnecessary stress that job puts on pilots before they even sit down in the cockpit is fucking crazy.

Make everyone"s you interact with day better thats a good challenge & cheaper than new gear or car.

I don't know if this suggestion is way off but volunteering somewhere with a good cause can help scratch the itch. My business was going through a rough patch a few years ago so I joined a local SAR/MRA unit. Packing injured people out of the woods, searching for lost folks and seeing the families affected can provide a little dose of healthy perspective. I guess it also alleviates some guilt by putting skills and piles of gear to use in a less selfish endeavor than just climbing and skiing. I'm also consistently humbled by the unit members that don't hesitate to head out on missions in any weather and any time of day or night. Some pretty good folks there.

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

You know, on the subject, that pilot that tried to crash the plane a while back? I totally felt for him. The amount of unnecessary stress that job puts on pilots before they even sit down in the cockpit is fucking crazy.

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The one on shrooms?

IMO when you retire if you can afford it do something entirely different, I have never touched another computer for money since leaving Big Blue and i couldn't really cuz after 30 yrs I was so fucked up. I did some trouble shooting on GF's computer and lost my shit when she didn't follow instructions clearly a PTSD moment " I told you to do XYZ and you didnt !!!@@#% do it ! " well it didnt fix it anyway sez she, well that wasnt the point we try this and this in this logical order to arrive at a fix but it was clear I should do something else

Doing something else is not gona make you feel young again but it could make you feel interested and if you don't need the money its nice being able to say fuck you any time you want. Note that when you can say fuck you any time you want you don't actualy have to say fuck-you instead just don't take the fucked-up job

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

You know, on the subject, that pilot that tried to crash the plane a while back? I totally felt for him. The amount of unnecessary stress that job puts on pilots before they even sit down in the cockpit is fucking crazy.

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Sympathy for attempted mass murder huh?

That’s some impressive mental gymnastics.

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Originally Posted by Ted Striker

The one on shrooms?

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Yeah. That one. The medical requirements for pilots are so outdated. Im not justifying his actions, I just see the pressure that got him to that point.

Was he really on shrooms though? Did they verify that?

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Originally Posted by AK47bp

Sympathy for attempted mass murder huh?

That’s some impressive mental gymnastics.

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Pretty sure there was more to the story than that. Mental health is something that i have sympathy for.

Life's what you make it
Celebrate it
Anticipate it
Yesterday's faded
Nothing can change it
Life's what you make it

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Originally Posted by Name Redacted

Was he really on shrooms though? Did they verify that?

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Not that I'm aware of. I've heard (so grain of salt) that he claimed to have taken them the day before, so that would be beyond the detection window of a drug test. Either way, in my not medical opinion, his mental health issues were probably always there under the surface.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhaXZh-p4hQ

Plus 1 on volunteering. I'm not SAR material but working with a local food bank/food instability org has been both humbling and inspiring.

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You guys are doing it all wrong. Do what those before us did; go buy a Corvette.

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Originally Posted by GoldMember

You guys are doing it all wrong. Do what those before us did; go buy a Corvette.

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Heh
For my midlife thing, I took OEC and joined patrol. I wrote a blog post about it titled “Better Than a Corvette”

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Originally Posted by warthog

I don't golf.

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Honestly though:

1. Impossibly hard and you will never be satisfied, but always want to improve, just like skiing/biking/paddling hard whitewater/whatever.

2. But basically zero chance of catastrophic injury.

3. And you can spend hours, days, weeks, etc. with good buddies and, if you're really lucky, family.

4. Go cool places.

5. Objectively kick friend/family ass for small but proud amounts of money.

6. Do it until you can barely stand up.

Seems pretty good.

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Originally Posted by RootSkier

Honestly though:

2. But basically zero chance of catastrophic injury.

Seems pretty good.

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at the local golf course i went for a drink after biking, the old people were all smoking ( illegaly ) and in visibly bad shape, outside but too lazy to walk away from the building so still under the patio awning, these were not my people, I havent been back

gona die from self inflicted causes

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

at the local golf course i went for a drink after biking, the old people were all smoking ( illegaly ) and in visibly bad shape, outside but too lazy to walk away from the building so still under the patio awning, I havent been back

gona die from self inflicted causes

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Yeah, as a non golfer, I'm conflicted. On paper, it seems like a great activity for old fucks. But all the golfers I actually know aren't very healthy.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

Yeah, as a non golfer, I'm conflicted. On paper, it seems like a great activity for old fucks. But all the golfers I actually know aren't very healthy.

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I would play pickle ball before I took up golf

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

I would play pickle ball before I took up golf

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Your local knee surgeon heard that and then bought a new boat.

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Originally Posted by bennymac

Your local knee surgeon heard that and then bought a new boat.

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No, he bought a new set of clubs. Talk about golfers! Is there a 'pod who doesn't golf?

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

I would play pickle ball before I took up golf

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The inlaws came to town. 70 yo dad's game is golf, but pickle ball is his new thing. And there are a couple courts in town I guess. We had to join a waitlist just to have a shot at playing. It is popular as hell I had no idea.

This is some good shit so far I'm glad it got traction. But what do you do if you're too much of an asshole to seek community, too lazy to take on some crazy outdoor odyssey project? I have realized recently I am generally happier with a project to work on. I know a guy that took up sewing, which seems useful. I want to take a continuing ed class in TIG welding but like, for hobbysts not tradespeople. My job keeps getting in the way. Same thing happened when I was working on my pilots license. That, and I realized I'd rather wait to fly an electric VTOL than a 50 year old Cessna.

Anyway. Anyone have any luck with "learn cool shit" night school?