The "I'm an idiot" Thread

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Originally Posted by chicken feathers

I’ve got one…Early 2000’s, I’m a teenager, friends and I got our first legit bikes and spent summers riding anything we can around Ohio, mostly moto trails, gravel pits or dirtjumps and skinnies that we’d make ourselves. There were like 5 mtb trails in the state then. I’d never drink enough water or eat enough food so I was always bonking and doing dumb shit. Even for a teenager.

One afternoon I decided there was something wrong w/ my rear derailleur, or maybe my brake. So I flip the bike over and start spinning the pedals to see whats up. Somehow I end up putting my index finger into the disc brake…Sliced it up bad in 4 spots which looked like bloody shark gills. The sound it made was brutal [emoji51]. I about went into shock in the following 15 minutes. My friends did a good job getting me out of the woods and to one of their houses where an older sister who was training to be a nurse packaged me up.

The doctors were able to save it, but my finger is about 1/8” shorter than the other one now, and pretty obviously fkd up. But it works despite some numbness.

I blame it on being a dumbass.

I always chuckle now when I remove the warning sticker from new rotors.

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I did something similar, probably around the same time. Took the tip of my finger off in a rotor, but somehow *just* missed the bone. They sewed it back on and is thankfully normal now.

Lol. When my brother and I were teenagers (also in Ohio in the 2000s) he was working on something on the rear end of his bike. I came into the shop and spun the wheel being funny, slicing the shit out of his finger. Had to drive him to urgent care to get stitches. He was pissed at me for a while.

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Originally Posted by toast2266

I did something similar, probably around the same time. Took the tip of my finger off in a rotor, but somehow *just* missed the bone. They sewed it back on and is thankfully normal now.

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Yep, I'm also a proud member of the "almost lost my finger tip to a spinning rotor" club.

Bought a new Lyrik
Removed the old Pike
Removed the crown race
Measured. Twice
Cut steerer
Rounded edges
Put the star nut in
Used a rubber hammer to put the crown race on
Except actually using the rubber side

Now I have a bunch of nice scuff marks on my brand new steerer

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Originally Posted by bagtagley

GWNF several years ago, locked my keys in the car. I’m miles from service, nobody around to help, so I broke the little rear triangle window with a rock to get in.

A year later parked in the same spot, same thing. This time there were other riders in the lot, but I didn’t have the patience to deal with it. Broke the little triangle window again.

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I always thought the keypads on the driver side door on Fords was a dumb gimmick, until I got one. It's saved me plenty of times now.

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Originally Posted by g_man80

Installed new brakes tonight. Cut hose to length, install barb and olive, insert into lever body, torque nut, bleed, and stand back to appreciate no drama no mess. Then realize the rubber hose cover is sitting on the work bench. Luckily I had another barb and olive. Sad to say that’s probably the third time I’ve done that in recent years.

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Everytime I service my shock I reinstall it in the frame without the o-ring. Every Single Time.

In your instance I would have sliced open the rubber cover, slipped it over the hose, wrapped in electrical tape, and walked away.

Went to remove caliper from frame but instead of frame bolt my brain decided it would be better to loosen the bleed bolt. It was so dumb it took much longer than it should have to realize why i suddenly had a oil mess everywhere. Idiot

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Originally Posted by gavinski91

I always thought the keypads on the driver side door on Fords was a dumb gimmick, until I got one. It's saved me plenty of times now.

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I somehow inherited my grandmother’s Lincoln Towncar in college after getting t-boned in my car. Baby blue with white leather interior. Choice. I wore the keypad out on that thing.

Topical, you could fit two full bikes with the wheels removed in that trunk. My bike basically lived in there. We’d just finished riding and I loaded the bike but got sidetracked bullshitting and left the wheels. Didn’t realize it until the next day when I opened the trunk at the trailhead ready to ride. I called all the bike shops in town to let them know and got a call a week later that somebody had them. Dude was really strange. Basically admitted that he almost kept them and that he only contacted the shop in the hopes of getting a reward. I was a broke college student, so I handed him a couple hot Gennie Summer Brews from the depths of the trunk and GTFO.

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Originally Posted by bagtagley

Gennie Summer Brews from the depths of the trunk and GTFO.

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Upstate? I've had one too many Cream Ale's in my life...

When my kids were little and I wasn’t sleeping at all (cause they would fucking never sleep at night) I unpacked our stuff from a bike trip. Somehow left my front mtn bike wheel leaning up against the car, forgetting about it overnight. Chris King hub, custom built, the whole nine yards. 3 days later I realize it’s not in the garage, and of course it’s long gone at this point.

Chris King was a sponsor, and I couldn’t get any more hubs from them for the year. No way could I afford to replace the wheel retail. And I didn’t have enough energy or time to build a new wheel anyway.


So my response was to just ride a cross bike for a year till I could get a new hub from Chris King. Moab, Fruita, Monarch Crest, races - everywhere.

So it was an idiotic move in the first place that I doubled down on by responding like an idiot.

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Originally Posted by XtrPickels

Upstate? I've had one too many Cream Ale's in my life...

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No, West Virginia. I don’t think I had seen or drank any other beer from Genesee at that point in my life. The Summer Brew just arrived out of the blue one summer. You could only buy it by the thirty pack and it tasted like shit, but it was so insanely cheap that, for a couple months, it was all we drank. It was ubiquitous at friends houses and parties, then it disappeared forever (other than the leftovers that we could no longer bring ourselves to consume). 🤣

Attachment 463668

and there we have it... the upstate / west virgina nexus.






fact.

I legitimately though that Genny never made it outside Upstate. I'm genuinely impressed they sold as far away as Virginia!

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did you do that on purpose ?

if the pedal ever falls out on the trail and the threads get damaged running a pedal in from the back will straighten them out so you can possibley thread the pedal in from the front, I've done that to some random strangers bike on the trail and it wroked well

Replaced my chain earlier this spring. I'm typically not so bad at adjusting my shifting but can't seem to get things to index quite right.
Id faff with it for a bit, get it working pretty good, but by the end of a ride would be all out of adjustment.
Got frustrated enough that i took it to two different shops near me plus a local independent guy working out of his garage claiming to be great. Same thing, they'd fiddle with it a bit. It would work pretty good but quickly need adjusting again. They all thought i needed a new cassette.
So I'm out on a ride about an hour drive from where i live. Make a quick shift down multiple gears to punch up over a steep outcrop and jam my drivetrain all the fuck up and the chain breaks. Itd been shifting fine just twenty minutes earlier.
Patch the chain back together and limp back to town to the local shop there. Guy throws my bike in the stand and ten seconds in he's like "hey the bolt holding the derailleur to the hanger is SUPER loose".
I buy a new chain. Don't even need to adjust the shifting WTF!
Drivetrains been perfect since then. 🙄🤦♂️

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Originally Posted by jm2e

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I cannot count the number of times I’ve done this.

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Originally Posted by EWG

I cannot count the number of times I’ve done this.

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Maybe just the technique I learned, but l can’t make that mistake my way.

Start threading the pedal in by hand, then while holding the pedal spindle (by hand, or wrench) spin the cranks backwards (freewheeling) to thread the pedal all the way in. Torque down.

Also helps you with figuring out which direction pedal threads are.

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Originally Posted by EWG

I cannot count the number of times I’ve done this.

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I can count — zero times for me. But that ‘forgot O ring on external shaft’ thing posted upthread resonates hard for me. :D

Since I’m wrenching at home with relatively few distractions other than finding a cold beer, I’ve had pretty good luck in this dept but I look at my friends wrenching in smaller bike shops (answering phones etc etc) and I think Fuck that’d be hard doing real bike surgery with all those distractions. Guess that’s why bike monkeys earn $150-175k typically.

Status check on the inspiration for this thread.

Still crispy.

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Originally Posted by XtrPickels

Status check on the inspiration for this thread.

Still crispy.

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Dude, Tegaderm that shit. Even this late in the game it will really help it heal up.

A couple years back:

Bleeding my brakes (like an hour before a ride of course), somehow pop one of the pistons out of a Shimano Deore 4-pot caliper. Can't get it to stop leaking. Shit, ok i'll just throw on a 2-pot caliper that works with my lever.

Install the 2-pot and I'm putting the lever back together, somehow strip the bleed port threading. And then scramble to get a full set of 2-pot brakes working so I can go on my ride. So in a basic maintenance action, I destroyed the caliper AND the lever of a nice brakeset in separate stupid mistakes.

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Originally Posted by XXX-er

did you do that on purpose ?

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For the sake of transparency, yes. This image is a dramatic recreation of a past event that happens maybe once every year or two.
For all the infallible wrenches out there, hats off to your superiority in being a human. I can tell you that this happens when I install the first pedal, then lean over the bike and do the other pedal while essentially upside down. Alas, many idiotic acts are the result of misguided stubborn efforts to do less work more inefficiently.



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Originally Posted by jm2e

For the sake of transparency, yes. This image is a dramatic recreation of a past event that happens maybe once every year or two.
For all the infallible wrenches out there, hats off to your superiority in being a human. I can tell you that this happens when I install the first pedal, then lean over the bike and do the other pedal while essentially upside down. Alas, many idiotic acts are the result of misguided stubborn efforts to do less work more inefficiently.



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Oh, I’m fallible.

Spent the evening cleaning rotors and putting in new pads because I had figured the microfiber shop towels I cleaned in the washing machine were grease/oil free enough to wipe down my rotors with alcohol after bleeding my rear brake. (Only bothered wiping down the rotors ‘just to be safe’, since I’d pulled the wheels before bleeding.)

Bleed felt good, but I ended up with contaminated pads and rotors.

But I haven’t made the pedal instal mistake. You win some, you lose some.

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Originally Posted by frorider

Guess that’s why bike monkeys earn $150-175k typically.

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I surely hope you are joking. Bike mechanics earn roughly $15-25 an hour, period. With maybe one percent earning over $40.

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Originally Posted by rideit

I surely hope you are joking. Bike mechanics earn roughly $15-25 an hour, period. With maybe one percent earning over $40.

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Not for long. My LBS said he cannot get a mechanic to stay for less than $28/hr and that is for someone with little to no experience. He is trying to poach teachers that make $50k with the guarantee of a flexible schedule and an extra $10k to make up for lost benefits. Times are crazy.

But I agree, $150k for a bicycle mechanic might exist in top-tier racing as the head of a race team, but I wouldn't imagine it at a LBS or big-box bike shop.

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Originally Posted by jm2e

For the sake of transparency, yes. This image is a dramatic recreation of a past event that happens maybe once every year or two.
For all the infallible wrenches out there, hats off to your superiority in being a human. I can tell you that this happens when I install the first pedal, then lean over the bike and do the other pedal while essentially upside down. Alas, many idiotic acts are the result of misguided stubborn efforts to do less work more inefficiently.



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This is exactly how it has happened to me.

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Originally Posted by HotSchmoo

Replaced my chain earlier this spring. I'm typically not so bad at adjusting my shifting but can't seem to get things to index quite right.
Id faff with it for a bit, get it working pretty good, but by the end of a ride would be all out of adjustment.
Got frustrated enough that i took it to two different shops near me plus a local independent guy working out of his garage claiming to be great. Same thing, they'd fiddle with it a bit. It would work pretty good but quickly need adjusting again. They all thought i needed a new cassette.
So I'm out on a ride about an hour drive from where i live. Make a quick shift down multiple gears to punch up over a steep outcrop and jam my drivetrain all the fuck up and the chain breaks. Itd been shifting fine just twenty minutes earlier.
Patch the chain back together and limp back to town to the local shop there. Guy throws my bike in the stand and ten seconds in he's like "hey the bolt holding the derailleur to the hanger is SUPER loose".
I buy a new chain. Don't even need to adjust the shifting WTF!
Drivetrains been perfect since then. ����♂️

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Buddy just did this. Shipped his bike. Not a bike mechanic, but smart enough to put a pedal bike back together. Talked to him over the phone RE: setup. He was confident he could put everything back together himself. You got this bro!

Assembled, he takes it for a test ride around the parking lot, instant catastrophic drivetrain explosion.

Deraileur hanger bolt was not tight. Bolt gave way under load and pulled the rear deraileur into the cassette. Carnage. New rear deraileur ordered that night.

2nd attempt at install worked great, and a lesson was learned.

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Originally Posted by jm2e

For the sake of transparency, yes. This image is a dramatic recreation of a past event that happens maybe once every year or two.
For all the infallible wrenches out there, hats off to your superiority in being a human. I can tell you that this happens when I install the first pedal, then lean over the bike and do the other pedal while essentially upside down. Alas, many idiotic acts are the result of misguided stubborn efforts to do less work more inefficiently.



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well, good can come of it

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Originally Posted by Percy Rideout

Buddy just did this. Shipped his bike. Not a bike mechanic, but smart enough to put a pedal bike back together. Talked to him over the phone RE: setup. He was confident he could put everything back together himself. You got this bro!

Assembled, he takes it for a test ride around the parking lot, instant catastrophic drivetrain explosion.

Deraileur hanger bolt was not tight. Bolt gave way under load and pulled the rear deraileur into the cassette. Carnage. New rear deraileur ordered that night.

2nd attempt at install worked great, and a lesson was learned.

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I'm constantly having to swap out clipless/platforms for my wife (depending on the trail) and have gotten a system.
-Put each "new" pedal on the floor under the corresponding pedal to be replaced.
-Lean over the top tube and break pedal loose with short end of hex wrench.
-Swap hex to long end, spin off pedal, leaving wrench sticking through crank hole.
-Pick up "new" pedal, insert shaft onto hex wrench and spin it on.
-Swap hex to short end and tighten.

-Repeat on other side.

In the past two weeks I've dropped both a bleed port screw and cable capture bolt into the abyss that is my filthy garage floor. Gone forever.

Oh I've done this one too many times. Sweep the floor before starting, then sweep it again when you drop your tiny bit.

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Don't look for the part you dropped, instead look at the floor, its different

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Originally Posted by homemadesalsa

Oh I've done this one too many times. Sweep the floor before starting, then sweep it again when you drop your tiny bit.

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I've taken to throwing down an old sheet under the bike stand when I'm working on it... shit doesn't bounce quite so much when I drop it, and it's easier to see than it is on my filthy garage floor. :D

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Originally Posted by skaredshtles

I've taken to throwing down an old sheet under the bike stand when I'm working on it... shit doesn't bounce quite so much when I drop it, and it's easier to see than it is on my filthy garage floor. :D

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I use an old beach towel. Saved me numerous times.

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Originally Posted by alfajores

But I agree, $150k for a bicycle mechanic might exist in top-tier racing as the head of a race team, but I wouldn't imagine it at a LBS or big-box bike shop.

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I'd be fucking surprised unless the mechanic is getting % of winnings from his riders like caddies do?

Especially since 99% of pro racers don't make anything near that.

I know for an absolute fact that the global team manager of the biggest bike company in the world was barely cracking 100k after 20 years with them. (Pre pandemic).

This is a lesson in ignoring experts opinions

Got new nobby nics after running Maxxis for years
Schwalbe MTB product manager lives in our little village
“What pressure should I run?”
“17lb” he says
“The tire sez min psi is 25”
“Run them at 17lbs”
“You trying to get out of warranty claims by saying pressure was too low?”
“Run them at 17lbs”

So I pumped them to 22lbs.

Ripped into a tight rocky corridor with no room for error. I’ve done this section at least 100 times.

Front tire hits the first rock and starts out of control pinballing thru other rocks until I go over the bars, landing on a waist high boulder. Major head/neck ache and much skin lost as these rocks started as lava and volcanic ejecta. At least I didn’t let go of bars and fuck up the shoulder that’s in rehab

Turns out they ride great at 17lbs…

Ninno runs his at 16 psi.