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Vibes man, stay strong
This shit took down my mom, luckily it didn't hit her until she was in her upper 80's, if that's lucky.
I couldn't even imagine it at such a young age, FUCK.
My dad was an extreme redneck about drugs and liquor. Between my brother making ganja butter, and my fudge recipe, having some edible THC made her outbursts much, much better. He actually asked me for more when he ran out after dosing her for the first time
Fuck, what a gut punch. Really, really sorry for you, that's just incredibly difficult and unfair.
We're currently going through this with my mom, but mercifully it's more of a late-onset.
Repeating what was said about taking time for yourself and recording her stories as best as you can. Took care of my dad for a long time, but luckily dementia was not part of the equation. I don’t know how I could have managed that. And 54 is just fucking unfair bullshit. She’s lucky to have you. Enjoy what you can in the moment
And my ex-SIL just passed away. My ex had to tell her mom about it, took a nap, and had to tell her about it again when she woke up. Fuck, it's awful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danno
I wanted to give an update and also thank everyone for their concern and advice.
I got off my ass and stopped worrying about what I can't control and started to focusing on the good days by letting the bad ones roll off my back. I also got her into a private Day Program which is like a daycare for adults and wow what a difference its made. She goes 3 days a week and she loves it. Everytime I pick her up she looks like she's had the time of her life. Seeing her happy has been the best medicine ever!
I realized I had to stop trying to do it all myself and let go of my fear of leaving her with people I don't know. Luckily the centre she goes to is a family operation and they love helping people and it shows. I truly lucked out with this place.
It feels good to start living again. Can't believe I stayed in that funk of depression for 2 years. I'm never going back into that pit ever again.
Maria. The love of my life.
Attachment 451762
Here she is with her late cousin Nicolas that had severe Cerebral Palsy. She could always get him to smile. I love her smile
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Good to hear man
Thanks.
FKNA, good to hear
Thank you
Good news.
Great to see you back Kenny.
thankQuote:
Originally Posted by Cisco Kid
I appreciate that Harry. I really do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry
I'm so glad things have improved. If we can help with anything, please let us know.
And I hope your account doesn't turn into guyonabuffalo.
This thread made my day. Right on!
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I missed this the first go around. You've got quite a gal there. Real sorry to hear what you're dealing with but glad that things are feeling better for now. Hang in there and soak up the sunshine that comes your way.
Great pics. Really good to see you posting, Kenny.
Damn Kenny, your wife's hot!
Glad to see you're feeling more at peace, and letting go of the fear of not being in control every single minute of every day. Keep rolling with the punches, and savor the good moments.
My wife recently took care of me big time for 7 months for some nasty healthcare shit that could still kill me. I owe her my life. It’s admirable and inspiring to see you doing the same. Health problems are such a huge burden for the caregiver, and many of your emotions my wife has had too. Loss of control, etc.
Keep on honoring your wife.
That is so great to hear. Keep on keeping on. You seem to have the right attitude.Quote:
Everytime I pick her up she looks like she's had the time of her life. Seeing her happy has been the best medicine ever!
Nice Kenny!
Yes. Hot momma nice smile.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Striker
So. If she’s Alzheimers, we could bang her and she wouldn’t really be cheating on you?
JK. Gallows humor.
Stay strong mang. Good to see you back. As much care as she needs, you need more.
Thanks for the offer. All these response have already helped me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danno
That guy on a buffalo thing made me laugh.
Wow. ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater
Excellent way of saying it about making the most of the good days and moments. ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Yonder_River
I had tried doing this thread for 3 months. I couldn't seem to do it. I'm glad it and I'm glad to be back. Thank youQuote:
Originally Posted by Mazderati
"Rolling with the punches" is what I remind myself to do when see has a bad day or a moment of total confession. ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Ted Striker
Damn this hit home and I will. ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Trackhead
ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
I felt sooo guilty of the idea of taking care of my needs before hers but I had to. Staying strong when your emotions are a mess isn't easy but the better I am the better she is. Who knew accept for every healthcare professional we dealt with. You're right and so are they. Thank youQuote:
Originally Posted by Core Shot
++++ for you ks
Been going through similar issues with my wife and her parents. She’s really getting dragged down by it and her brother doesn’t help much. Her dad is a horror. She’s beginning to consider outside help, but is very slow on letting go.
Trying to get her to take some time off to go on a vacation. She’s been on 24/7 for more or less 3 years now.
BH I hope she can take the break she so deserves. Her Dad is very lucky to have her and that thing of letting go is something I know all too well. I hope she can accept letting others help. Burning out is what finally got me to seek help. I hope she doesn't get to that point. I'm sure you won't let that happen.
Looks like I've been hackedQuote:
Originally Posted by Danno
Signed Kenny Satch on a buffalo.
Seems I figured it out.
Yeah B, this is exactly what I'm dealing with. It's the worst, but I'm still in the beginning g stages with my mom. That's why Kenny's post made my day...just good to hear there's relief out there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buster Highmen
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Find peace for yourself and for your wife, Kenny
The love you share will take care of you both
Best to you & your family
When I see her happy is when I'm at peace. Slowly I'm coming round to not worrying when she isn't.
Thanks
Ah man Kenny, not sure what to say other than fuck dementia. Everything else pales in the priority of living your life with Maria and having a happy life together for as long as you two possibly can.
We lost my father in law (Gordon) to what was eventually diagnosed as LBD, Alzheimers, and Parkinsonism. He was a bird lover and a physicist and a great father to my wife. Sadly, he only got to really enjoy only 5 years of retirement, thus my second sentence above.
As a medical imaging tech, I see all the different stages of dementia, from frontotemporal dementia, Alzheimers dementia, CVA induced dementia, Parkinsonism so I kind of understand and somewhat understand the physiology behind some types of dementia, but still, there's so much not understood about degenerative brain diseases.
Thanks for the update, Kenny. Way to keep living, both of you.
If I can offer some suggestions, talk to your mom, a lot. Give her a place to vent her frustration and fears. My mom was always the rock and wasn’t able to open up until I convinced her. Also, consider doing interviews. There’s so much of my mom’s history I don’t know and by the time I started asking, it was too late. Good luck, man.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater
That parts brutal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenny Satch
My wife's lifelong best friend is in a assisted living facility at age 55.
She's been there for a year now.
She was crying last week telling my wife she wants to go home.
There is no home to go to.
So fucking sad 😥
Originally she was a LEO outside of Tahoe.
She worked her last years as a police safety officer for the local high-school until her supervisor noticed the change.
She was unable to remember things and write reports.
It took three years to get her retired while going through the system.
They originally diagnosed her with PTSD.
Tons of medication, mental health experts etc until they got the correct diagnosis.
You don't have anything if you don't have your mental and physical health.
Sorry about you father in law.Quote:
Originally Posted by mtnjam
We were at my wife's cognitive doctor's office last week and she showed me the scans again and it's frightening. She has atrophy all along the brain and a significant lost on the left side of her brain. If it was only on the left side I might not be as frighten but if loses her eye-sight because of PCA then thats when I'll put her in a proper facility. I hope not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TWINS
My wife is 54 and knowing there are others getting this at a young age is heartbreaking. I'm glad she is getting the help she needs.
Last update I hope I'll ever need to do.
I've made peace with the situation. I realized all the worrying and depression will accomplish nothing. I got off my depressed ass and started living again. Seems my renewed energy has actually made Maria happier and that's all I can ask for. I'm actually sleeping again and it feels good to close my eyes without anxiety. I nolonger worry as much about the future and take each day as it happens. I guess sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can start over. Lesson learned.
A HUGE thank you and God bless you to all that gave me words of encouragement and vibes. :yourock::yourock::yourock:
It really helped.
Like
Two thumbs up Satch!
Good to hear Kenny. Keep keepin on.
You got this Kenny.
++++
ThisQuote:
Originally Posted by ötzi