Heh, I'll have to relay this one to a friend who's moving to Boston in a few months.
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Heh, I'll have to relay this one to a friend who's moving to Boston in a few months.
Fuck yeah! I guess all those years in Waterville paid off! I only hope I can stomach 30 drinks and not die. You are my hero Gonzo.
sounds alarmingly similer to my first meeting you gonz. strange.Quote:
Originally posted by gonzo
We just starting walking into traffic waving our arms
well this thread certainly worked out nicely.
Good to have role models, I guess.Quote:
Originally posted by CantDog
Fuck yeah! I guess all those years in Waterville paid off! I only hope I can stomach 30 drinks and not die. You are my hero Gonzo.
Kinda funny timing on this...we're having a somewhat similar party Saturday night in Boston if anyone is interested. PM me and I will forward the details. I actually sent my rendering of the story on to a bunch of my buddies - haven't though of it in a while and neither had they. Good times...sort of. Subject was "What NOT to do Saturday night" :D
Hopefully Honc will chime in sometime here...I swear it is true!
heh that's a great story....wtf is up with Bahston mags? My one experience there with acostiga, gonzo, and wizard at a bar ended up with acostiga driving at high speeds down a one way street with no lights on and wizard (yes, that wizard :D ) jumping out of the car rambling on about cops, buses, and something up hits and lines or something (I think he was referring to BC hits and lines, or something, uh, yeah that's it...). Great f-ing night :D
i still can't belive acostiga made it all the way down charles street going the wrong way. unreal.
this shot of the story teller sums up the mood of the tale quite nicely
http://www.tetongravity.com/usergall...0513/gonzo.jpg
and to answer the question about wtf is up with bean town mags: lead paint chips, everyfuckingwhere.
WOW. That story could have ended up a lot worse after "Mattapan 3AM on a saturday night." Congrats on making it out alive!
Wow is right! Downright cinematic. Like a freaky cross between "Pulp Fiction" and "Pee Wee's Big Adventure."
:eek:
[Damn. Wish I could find an image of the scene where Pee Wee hitches a ride with the escaped convict...]
A fabulous read,pithy,depraved,jounalistically brilliant & utterly bereft of any redeming qualities.
think if you weren't drunk, you three would (at least i would have) tried to beat the crap out of some inmate all yaaked out on meth. that would have been interesting.
Damn Gonzo. But that's kind of a beginner drunk story. Get hammered on "Soju" in Soul, then walk outside of the bar during a riot at midnight. And you are chased my about 3000 angry Koreans 2 miles to the main gates of "Camp Kelly". Oh with a 40 of Crown in your hand, not to mention you are so drunk you can hardly stand. Cabbies won't take you because you are an American and a mob is chasing you.
But at next years reunion party for you guys. Remeber to phone the cab company to pick you up.
Oh and one more question. The guy picking you up did 15 years in prison. Which one of you was the wife for him ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
that post sucked.Quote:
Originally posted by TJ.Brk
spew
Lotta winky guys, though. Never have too many a' them.
winkie guys can make up for the most useless posts.
but cool guys, when overused, render even the most usefull post useless :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:
just gpt an email from uncle remus advising that i watch out for this post. frankly, i'm amazed that this never made it up before either.
here are a few things that were left out due to varying degrees of fuzziness:
1) the carjack guy had never heard of an "ATM" before (prison for 17 years will date a man)--led to an awkward conversation while he held me in a choker in the middle of an intersection threatening my life
2) similarly, when my check from work had not yet cleared, i had to explain to this hostile gentleman the difference between "current balance" and "available balance"
his response of "i don't give a f**k, pay me!" was not what we were looking for.
3) we stopped in a gas station after the first atm incident to get a cab and the attendant only knew 3 english words, "You. Leave. Now."---in that order
4) the gigantic dood who picked us up the second time was on one of those nextel walkie-talkie thingys with his girlfriend. when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.
wow. that was a messed up night.
oh yeah. after testifying in front of the grand jury, the DA told us that we might have to testify again and that we shouldn't do anything crazy like pack up our stuff and move to colorado.
a few months later we packed up our stuff and moved to colorado.
I truly love this line. It doesn't get any better than that!Quote:
Originally posted by gonzo
…dude keeps asking us if we have any weapons…uuuuh no - we have stupid pants and wigs dude…
awesome!Quote:
Originally posted by Honc
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
I don't know how I missed this first time around. Unreal. And yes, that is probably the worst neighborhood in all of Boston. You're lucky you're all still alive. Damn. Great story, though.
:D :D :D This had me ROLLING at work! I can just picture this and I can't stop laughing. You just can't make this shit up. Great TR Gonz and Honc! My drunken bleary nights pale compared to this gem.Quote:
Originally posted by Honc
when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.
B)
Honc puts the icing on the cake!
That's a story for the ages...
Instant classic!!!
How do you pronounce that?Quote:
Originally posted by Aldo
Honc
its honk right?Quote:
Originally posted by iceman
How do you pronounce that?
not honce
:D
I think it's honsey.
Great story gonz. Good times. Put a little adventure into my otherwise boring day at work. I don't think I've ever had an un-intersting night out in Boston when I was in college. Always crazy shit going on and crazy friends doing crazy things.
I always thought it was pronounced: Hon-Cee :D
bumping the funny drinking story with the insane situational comedy.
http://tetongravity.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gifhttp://tetongravity.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif
gonz, thank you for teaching me how to pee while continuing to walk at a normal pace down the sidewalk. i can fly higher than an eagle, because you are the wind beneath my wings.
Thanks for the bump. Missed that first time around.
My first month in Boston I got lost and accidentally rode my bike down Blue Hill Avenue through Mattapan. Doubt I'll ever ride that fast again.
How the hell did I miss this one?
That is f'n hysterical!! And no - those East LA boys can talk all the smack they want. I'll take East LA over Mattapan any day of the week, Ricky.
So the SECOND guy jacked you for $80?? WTF!?!
edit: Not quite as amusing Mattapan story: Used to deliver furniture all OVER that area - Mattapan, Roxbury, etc. (Anyone remember Boston Scandals?) So we're driving down BH Ave, and some dude's riding a bike down the middle of the road - can't get around him....He hears us behind him (big diesel Mercedes) & he flips us off like 3 times as if to say "F-you, I ain't moving."
No problem - creep up about 20' behind him & I nail the airhorns.
Guy about shits himself. He swerves over to the right at which point it becomes clear why he was riding in the middle of the road....The T tracks.
(Visualize it - it might not sound that funny in type, but believe me - it was priceless.)
Both of the guy's wheels lock in the tracks & the bike stops cold...F'n guy was absolutely EJECTED off the bike...Evel Kneivel had better landings. We were both in shock, and I stopped to make sure the guy was ok.. Guy stands up & the verbal assault ensues. We just went on our merry way. That story still comes up from time to time when I go back home...And yes, we still laugh 'til we cry.
needed a laugh. this one still works.
http://www.tetongravity.com/usergall.../le%20bump.jpg
No shit that was some funny!
You boys were about a block and a half away from the morgue that night.
i thinky basom has some free time...
woo hoo! hall of fame, motherfuckers! :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzo
yeah well, your welcome.
thaaaaaanks baaaaaasom
Wonder if the committee on character and fitness says "woo hoo" ?Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzo
Well, they should! :yourock: :fm:
this was absolutely worthy, especially honc having to explain to some criminal the difference between available and current balance, i nearly busted my gut.
Lots of MIA motherfuckers in this thread. Still gold though.