Quote:
Originally Posted by gunniride
actually you can blame that on snowboarders
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gunniride
actually you can blame that on snowboarders
Today I heard a gaper say "Hey guys! Great day! Where you headed?" "Oh, how is coming out in the dark?"
There i was, perusing a sweet TR:
Quote:
I read this one today...Quote:
Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey
not exactly skiing related, but something funny...
overheard some guy talking to a friend...
"dude, let's take a piss in the snow! i've only ever done it two times before..."
There are some good ones in this thread. I recently did a month of hard time in the retail trenches. I almost always have saintlike patience with the gapers, having honed my skills in this regard over the better part of a decade.
But if I have to listen to one more Right Coast fucktard question whether or not there actually is skiing in New Mexico, I'm going to get arrested for assault.
You have no idea... That 200 ft of vert on Whoop-de-doo (the double black at Sugar Mountain) is intense... I dunno how anyone can ski it.Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy jenkins
Really it's pretty much a joke, just like everything else here. It's still better than nothing.
So I was waxing some of my skis today. A friend swung in and I waxed his board for him. I noticed that he had a shocked look on his face for the price of ski wax. I ignored it. He then asked me why I don't just use candle wax? I stood there and let that one sink in a little bit.........
Heard a couple of good ones at St Moritz a couple of years ago.
English lady with the poshest voice you have ever heard "where have you boys been skiing?"
Us Aussie dirtbags "over there" pointing to a small powder bowl between two groomers
English lady "ooo I never go off piste without my guide"
About ten mins later at the top of the chair we see a family group lead by a hard arse british army looking guy with a mostache. His family look so depressed. We soon found out why when he poled away bellowing at the top of his lungs "BEGIN". It became our chant for the rest of the trip.
while eating lunch at Beaver Creek in between bump sessions right?:DQuote:
Originally Posted by montanaskier
oh, and PAGE TOP BITCHES!
At popular trailhead on Teton Pass yesterday. "ok, so here we go, the transceiver goes under your shell..."
That really is not very funny at all. :frown::nonono2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tye 1on
Especially this year.
No quotes at all this weekend. Really disappointed by this fact. There were busloads of Danes on the slopes and I was on my new pair of Praxis. (The biggest "mountain" in Denmark is 147metres above sea level, so you can imagine the skiing skills of the average dane...)
There were however at least five guys on ´toons and a couple of hellbents in the same lift line, so my skis might appear to be pretty normal looking?
A snowboarder gal floundering in the deep powder "This sucks! The snow is too thick!"
Two chicks pull up next to us at Berthoud Pass on Saturday. They proceed to get out their snowshoes. The driver asks me, "I see you guys have avalanche gear, do we need to worry about avalanches today?"
I really wanted to say, "No, avalanches only occur on weekdays."
I agree! Missed that it was a funny gaper remark thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy jenkins
On the chairlift at Breck:
Gaper: "I see you got them fat skis(pointing down at my Praxis). Do you live here?"
Me: "Yeah, I live 15 miles South, just over Hoosier Pass."
Gaper: "Oh. So you don't really live here then?"
Me: <silence>:rolleyes:
Not really a gaper comment, so much as a too much information from your fellow lift passenger. A few weeks ago at Meadows a dirty bird drunk snowboarder was loudly going on to his buddy about how he liked to keep his pubes shaved. The conversation lasted the entire ride.
I overheard one tourist say to the other; "This town will pretty nice when they are done with it." Huh? This is a former mining boom town that was founded in 1878!
Yeah, but were they cute at all?Quote:
Originally Posted by encore
No gaperness to report from this past weekend, but was pleasantly subjected to "How you like dem fat skis?" question #137 of the year.
Oh, not related (as per the quote requirement of the thread), but I did see the most awesomest double ejection at Zuma Bowl on Sunday. Dude goes off about a 15-foot rock. Totally flat landing. Guy lands. Skis remain completely stationary as he flops forward with his lower body practically stationary as well and smacks his face flat on the ground. Hard.
^^^this makes me laugh. Thanks:fmicon:Quote:
Originally Posted by IrieRon
On the lift at heavenly friday morning "Dude I think this is like only the 2nd time I've ever skied sober."
And a minute later something like "If they'd let me just smoke my ghanj I wouldn't have to drink so much in the parking lot in the morning."
TG420?
Solitude on Saturday - Watched from the lift as a guy heads down, clearly out of control. Crashes hard and is laying there in a pile when his buddy skis up to check if he's okay. Texan answers "I got to thinkin' I knew what I was doin'!"
Not this weekend but this quote will irritate me for a long time.
I quit basketball my sr. year in HS to ski. so i join the (very casual)ski team having never raced before.
This turd in a speed suit on the way up a 600 ft slalom run on my first race day looks me up and down and asks "do you ski for bishop fenwick?" as it is written on my bib.
I say "yeah" looking at my bib and seeing the name and number on it.
Then i say "looks like we will be racing agianst each other?"
he then says while shaking his head, "No spyder gear? You obviously dont take your racing that seriously!"
me -silence
circa 95-96
At the coffee shop this am-
Two women standing in line with ski boots on, getting coffee waiting for shuttle. One woman looks at other and says "I need to get a more comfortable pair of boots to ski in"
I look down and she has her ski boots on the wrong feet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by montanagirl
BWAAAAA haaaa ha
Did you inform her of her wardrobe malfunction?
This does apply to the road biking, though. A buddy of mine who lives near Asheville always scoffs at mountain passes in CO.Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy jenkins
confirmed Texan at a bar in Steamboat friday:
"Moguls, are they man made?"
The matching Spyder jacket and hat threw me off a bit.
thats the best I got....
I was skiing at whistler a couple weeks back and was waiting for the peak chair to open and heard somebody ask a ski instructor the following:
"Hey what are those booms" (patrol is doing avi work)
"Oh, they're hunting"
"...really?"
"No, I'm just joking its dynamite"
"They hunt with dynamite!!!"
Well, he's got a point. You don't live in Breck, do you? You live in Alma.Quote:
Originally Posted by cmsummit
Saturday, in a Flail lift line, I mentioned to my buddy that everyone looks alike, red jacket, black pants, black helmet. The 6' 6", 250 pound Nebraska farm boy in front of us, wearing camouflage duck hunting pants, an unzipped jacked over a cotton sweater and a multicolored gaper hat says; " that’s why you have to wear a fancy hat "
To his credit however he did have duct tape covering a hole in his camo pants, and duct tape = Core.
You'll notice that he didn't ask me if I lived in Breck. Most people that ask you if you live "here", are asking if you live in the area. I guess I consider Alma, Silverthorne, Keystone, or Frisco in the area and "here". Out of all the gapers that have asked me this, that was the first time I've gotten that response. I guess I could expect the same from you.;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill.H
Not this weekend, but Bridger over Christmas.
"All this _stuff_ makes it so hard to enjoy skiing." Me: double take... what the... turn to see an older couple (50's-60's?) struggling through the fresh to get on the lift. Glad they're getting out there, but I just shook my head and chuckled.
Considering I live 1000 miles away... I have to agree, I'd say you live "there".Quote:
Originally Posted by cmsummit
Kinda NSR, but a gear head gaper....
At the gas station, I run inside to ask for the air to be turned on. They have one of those deals where the clerk hits the button inside, and then you have to push the button outside to activate the little compressor. I hurry up and pull my Jeep over just in time to get cut off by this little two door BMW. I hop out and tell they guy "hey, I just had the clerk turn on the air, so...." He replies, "Oh, nice." And proceeds to walk up and snag the air hose. Given that it was about 6 outside, I get back in my Jeep and wait it out. Then it occurs to me that the guy never activates the compressor. He walks around to all four super low profile tires and....fills them up? HA. I got out as he was filling the last tire and I could actually hear the air coming out of his tire :eek:
He doesn't hand me the hose, he just drops it on the ground and takes off.... I hope he is enjoying his almost empty tires somewhere :biggrin:
DropCliffs - I heard a very similar comment the other day, in addition to this gem (heard at the top of 9 from a 40ish man in his Bogner fartbag): "Yeah, the view is nice, but they don't hand out cookies at the top of the lift, so I'd have to take this place down a notch."
Besides being a mystifying comment in and of itself, it also made me wonder where they do hand out cookies at the top of the lift?
This past weekend @ Magic mountain VT. For the record I have no affiliation with the mountain other than know management & sometimes offer pics up for the website.
Me: “Let me take your picture, I take the pic of the day for the Magic website”
Alice Cooper: “Really?”
Me: “yeah, I’ll put you on the internet”
AC “Internet? Great, hold on, let me take my hat off” (takes hat off & shakes hair wildly)
http://www.magicmtn.com/back/pics/image_117.jpg
At the end of the day, they handed out free cookies at the bottom of the Beaver Creek lifts. Pretty much the main reason I went riding there. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Switters
At least you have a good attitude. Just because you all post on the tetongravity forums doesn't make you any better than the Gaper that is out there for the first time.Quote:
Originally Posted by blockp
I bet you all have been in a position at some point in your life where you were a newb, gaper, jong, etc.
Yes, the shit they say can and is funny, but rather than hold them out as some sort of charactitures of themselves, embrace that perhaps that they are not as all knowing or awesome as you.
Just sayin'.
Was this Bishop Fenwick in MA? I was a MA high school "racer" in that same period and can think of a half dozen guys that could've been. Dudes show up for a 200 yard "race" in full gear, getting leg rubdowns in the starting house while half my team was off in the woods getting lit :DQuote:
Originally Posted by 2nd mate