Mr. Busdriver....

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Originally posted by truth
Not when the stakes are this high. All is fair my man...all is fair.

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But your intuition told you something was wrong, she was becoming distant so something was up. If it mattered then you should have forced the issue with her directly. Further evasion and whatever else on her part would have been telling.

Sorry, Mang, I really feel bad getting all preachy. Bottom line was she didn't/couldn't make a clean break and resorted to cheating. That chit is wrong, you don't need that. Great match on paper, maybe, but not the one.

You deserve better than a liar and a cheater. Hope your pain fades quickly, dude.
Sprite

Truth, that just downright blows. I know it means little, but I'm here for you man.

As far as doing some investigating, hell ya! You have every right to see if she is cheating on you, especially when the signs are there. Hell, when my Dad divorced my Mom a couple years back she denied everything. He snooped on her computer and found all kinds of evidence, then was able to win a divorce settlement that was in his favor.

Hell, girls hire P.I.'s all the time, no one balks at that.

All you giving a fellow maggot a hard time about decisions he made when he needs our help, that ain't right. Not one bit.

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Originally posted by frozenwater


All you giving a fellow maggot a hard time about decisions he made when he needs our help, that ain't right. Not one bit.

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Gotta go with my fellow industrial druid, here.

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Originally posted by Mulletizer
But if a girl just lies whatever you confront her with then that doesn't get you anywhere. It just leads to more friction, upset, confusion and so on.

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Actually, confronting someone with the simple facts can be very instructive, especially as one gets older and wiser- Damn!

Hmmmmm....I don't know, maybe I've been lucky- All of my serious GFs were pretty special. No BS like what Truth just had to go through. Some little games, sure, but we are talking about women here...

Truth- nobody deserves to get stomped the way she stomped you. Her indiscretions outweighs any invasion of her privacy as far as I am concerned. But things happen for a reason and something better will come along! Chin up and here is wishing one more pow day this year to cure what ails you....:)

If he confronted her is she really just going to say "Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to tell you about that..."? 99% chance she'd just get defensive and cover her tracks. The way I see it he saved himself a long drawn out period of letting the relationship completely fall apart, complete with arguing and vague accusations. It obviously wasn't working so better to break it off quickly and move on.

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Originally posted by The Reverend Floater
Gotta go with my fellow industrial druid, here.

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Ditto, get off yer high horses. Man did what he had to do.

Truth -

Sorry to hear that things went to crap on you. It totally sucks. I hurts now, but it's for the best that you are out.

My best friend had his wife of 12 years walk out on him, and their kids, over Christmas. He has only recently discovered that she has been stealing from work ($50K+), has a boyfriend in Seattle, and has pretty much bankrupted them. I am sure that if he could trade you spots right now, he would.

There are better chicks out there for you mang...keep your chin up, you'll find one.

What did she do? Spill the dirt? Did she hook-up with a younger model? A 19 year old irishman in her friends basement? ;)

That blows dude. I've always been the type to fall hard for girls. The girl I married was my highschool sweetheart. I haven't had to deal with anything like this in awhile, but it was always rough when I did. I like downer music in times like this. Music like "the cure" kick so much ass. Hit the gym, hit the bars, take your mind off it. The "ah ha" moments after a break-up for me usually came while in the company of a new female or beating the crap out of myself on the hill or some other sport.

I'd look for evidence the same way you did. If you feel like something is up it usually is. I had a buddy buy a phonetap at a radioshack to check in on his girlfriend of several years and found that she'd been cheating with several guys for some time. It's a health-risk sleeping with someone like that if you think it's a monogamous relationship.

truth, sorry to hear about the state of affairs, pun intended. methinks you should do your best to avoid letting grief/sadness/anger cloud your judgement. don't want to end up doing something you'll regret later on down the road. positive vibes being sent your way.

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Originally posted by meatdrink9
Hit the gym, hit the bars, take your mind off it. The "ah ha" moments after a break-up for me usually came while in the company of a new female or beating the crap out of myself on the hill or some other sport.

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This is a smart man. After my most recent implosion, the gym is honestly what saved my sanity. You probably have so much nervous energy built up right now that you can't sleep right, etc. The only real remedy is serious excercise. You'll find yourself sleeping better and feeling sooooo much better. Plus, and this might sound really bad, I found there was nothing better than getting looks from perviously uninterested hotties once your gym routine starts paying off. It's an unanticipated dividend that did wonders to repair my esteem.

Heh. Haven't stopped crushing the gym since!

Poor you!

She sounds like a bit of an ol' slappa, to quote a local phrase.

Hugs and symapthy flying their way across the pond from the Roos

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Originally posted by Mrs Roo


She sounds like a bit of an ol' slappa, to quote a local phrase.

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And with that, Mrs. Roo instills the most unpleasant visual I've had today. Many thanks.

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Originally posted by The Reverend Floater
Plus, and this might sound really bad, I found there was nothing better than getting looks from perviously uninterested hotties once your gym routine starts paying off.

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Heh...pervious...once again the Rev adds to my lexicon.

Major suckage when the babe is sleezin' on your steezin. And it's super fuckolaed when all her friends blame you for the breakup.

Wimmin - can't live with 'em, can't get them to dress like Nazis.

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Originally posted by Buster Highmen


Wimmin - can't live with 'em, can't get them to dress like Nazis.

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That made me LOL. The gym has always been there for me, and it will this time as well. It just sucks. Thanks maggots.

Watch out for those pervious gym looks, coming and going.

truth,
You did the right thing. If you're an intuitive person as you say you are, then the journal thing was a necessary evil, anyhow. To echo altachic, going to her without evidence would only produce more lies.
Really sorry this happened to you. Join us here on the bus...I have one foot off, and may be ready to step off, but if I were still totally on, I'd point you to the seat with the drinks. Good luck and go ski.
-dg

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Originally posted by truth

FYI, It's not a good idea to keep a written record of your lies and misdeeds.

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I find this so totally bizarre. People actually still keep diaries?

On the bright side Truth, summer time in Chicago isn't far away. Hot mid-western women, block parties, beer, and 80 degree weather galore.

Every winter I tell myself how glad I am that I left Chicago... every summer I think about moving back.

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Originally posted by Karl Stall
There's no place in America with more single women than Chicago. Helicrackjunky's lady's has countless cool female friends for you to meet.

Remember what you told me a week ago: life is beautiful.

Looking forward to hosting you in St. Louis for wakeboarding and debauchery.

Best!

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That's just patently not true. Unless the "Daddy knows best, church on sunday" is your gig.

Head to San Diego.

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Originally posted by slim
I find this so totally bizarre. People actually still keep diaries?

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I'm not one to keep a diary/journal so I don’t fully understand the function of doing so but I can see how a record relating to life events, like your first pregnancy or a trip through Europe, could be a nice historical record. HOWEVER…to keep a record of your misdeeds seems a bit narcissistic and evil to me.

That sucks Truth. In your situation, I would have done the same thing. That's something you NEED to know for your own sanity. If she's not being straight up with you, then you have every right to use other means to find out the real deal.

Way back in the day, I walked in on my girlfriend of MANY years hooking up with some dude in MY bed (we were living together). That was a bad scene to say the least, especially considering I was planning to ask her to marry me.

I look back on it now and it was the best thing that could have happened. She had cheated on me before, but she was my first real love so I forgave her. Had a situation like that not been slammed in my face, I would most likely have ended up with her as a wife and, in hindsight, I doubt she would have ever changed her ways. As things turned out, I met the perfect woman for me and I'm about to celebrate my 7th year of marriage to her.

I know it's tough for you to see right now, but trust me - finding out now is really for the best.

book a july or august week in las lenas tonight, get your exercise plan in gear and after you lay your head down to sleep every night, dream of the marte chair, steep chutes full of powder, and the wine bar packed with chicas:D

truth,
sorry to hear this. I never understand why people can't just tell you if its not working out, wether they be a significant other, employer, or whatever. If its not working out then its not working out so just tell them and move on. Continuing on and pretending or trying to get rid of them by attrition is just stupid and more damaging for both parties in the long run.

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Originally posted by divegirl
...I have one foot off, and may be ready to step off

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Now theres a lucky guy. I hope he appreciates his position.

Mr Gyptian, as a man whoi travelled the country a lot workin for Mr. Marriott I am with KS here

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There's no place in America with more single women than Chicago.

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all kinds NYC might actually out do it, but I like that mid west lady vibe ...
so truth:
only one thing ta do:

grow a Mustache, you got the skillz needed.

dats right folks pimp on the loose!

http://home.flash.net/~falline/images/trutha.jpg